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punkpixie
01/17/05, 02:10 PM
This is a poem I wrote a while back. It's a little weird but it makes sense to me. I am fully aware that people may question my sanity after this one but anyways, here goes (I have posted this before by the way):

I have just woken from a dream,
in which you spoke to everyone but me.
And now I feel sorry for myself.
We were in the supermarket and
you were buying bags of cloud.
Tins of rainbows. You ask the checkout cat
where the cheese is. He doesn't know.

I watch you from aisle to aisle,
walking ahead with the others,
talking like you own the place.
Like you own my head. You do.
It's a pity because if I was asked
where things were my red face
and sweaty palms would have
answered: "they're over there"

Walking on my own I feel like
I've finally caught up to you.
That is until you pull in front
and your footsteps laugh:
"The best thing about this game is
there are no rules" Damn. And still you talk.

Two to a space they gather round you
like flies while you gargle jokes.
Ha Ha. As you stop to make gestures
and fill your basket with compliments,
I seize the moment. "What do you want?"
You are irritated.

..........."Ummmm". I hesitate and shuffle.
Down the other aisles weird dream food
starts to listen. Everyone's listening.
And now the words escape me,
In plural fashion, safe as houses,
They dance and sing like mouses.

thefalloutgirl
01/17/05, 09:23 PM
i really don't have any constructive crticism to give, but i did like the poem.

kimosabe
01/19/05, 02:13 PM
This is a poem I wrote a while back. It's a little weird but it makes sense to me. I am fully aware that people may question my sanity after this one but anyways...
OMG! you are so original and creative we mere mortals can not possibly fathom your 'weird' and 'special' poetry! you are so uniqe!

punkpixie
01/20/05, 07:55 AM
You mean 'unique'. See, as well as being original and creative I can also spell.

punkpixie
03/30/05, 09:01 AM
Bump!

skYcriesforme
03/30/05, 09:19 AM
Wonderful again Ellie. This one stands out at me as well.

A little weird? maybe. But so is some of the greatest poetry of all time. Weird simply means out of the ordinary, and this is definately that.

xforestxwaitsx
04/04/05, 06:32 PM
I like it! Definetly better than some of the ones I have seen in various other places. If it shows how you feel and you are truly being expressive through your poetry, I say nothing is weird. Then again, I am a bit different myself at times. All writers have the quirks, remember that, it comes in handy at times(first hand experience speaking)

BlueEyedLetdown
04/04/05, 08:02 PM
OMG! you are so original and creative we mere mortals can not possibly fathom your 'weird' and 'special' poetry! you are so uniqe!

yes, well i must agree...there are other people out there that have half a brain and can understand your Oh, so creative and special poem!! And your need to post it agian...umm, unless you changed somthing I'm pretty sure everyone got it the first time around.

punkpixie
04/10/05, 11:13 AM
yes, well i must agree...there are other people out there that have half a brain and can understand your Oh, so creative and special poem!! And your need to post it agian...umm, unless you changed somthing I'm pretty sure everyone got it the first time around.

hahahaha, learn to spell and then get back to me.