Stephen Christian - The Orphaned Anything's

[topher465]

Stephen Christian - The Orphaned Anything's
Publisher: iUniverse, Inc.
Release Date: February 18, 2008

Literature is a binding fission of what’s left of American intellect and education. As the world progresses in mathematics and science and as American grade school education continues to drag its heels behind the rest of the world, we as the people of this country can at least rest our tired haunches knowing we can read and write. Maybe that’s why America has spawned such timeless authors such as Ernest Hemingway and John Steinbeck, even though the global torrents of education may have shifted in different directions then. But this is not an argument about which country has the longest literary tradition of excellence. It’s an understanding of setting and inspiration, one that takes place in Seattle, Washington, one of the most rapturous cities of art in the United States.

Stephen Christian’s debut novel, The Orphaned Anything's, is a coagulation of everything youthful, and as a young author still in his twenties, Christian’s tone matches that of the subculture he is feeding into, amassing references to myriad bands such as Sigur Rós and Elvis Costello while immersing his character in an "independent, leave me alone 'I know more about what’s really going on in the world so I am better than you' movement."

The book is all about youth, minus its vibrant colors.

It’s often gray and maroon, olive drab with a militancy of the ennui of solitary life, so much that the main character, Ayden Kosacov is driven to make an attempt at ending his life. His path there, however, is not one riddled with deep bouts of depression and errant feelings of despair, but is as Christian describes as “jejune,” as Ayden lacks both a family and a social life. In turn Ayden slowly and unknowingly burrows himself into hibernation, eventually forcing to come face to face with his life. Christian’s understanding of depression, however, is clear and punctuated by the fact he believes entrapment in depression isn’t a rapid downhill slope, and that one may not know he is falling until he hits the bottom.

Christian’s writing is fresh and relaxed, more modern in context and relativity and less stern and gritty than that of greats Steinbeck and Rand. Christian, however, is young, and although there may be a few paltry elements scattered loosely through the books mere 110 pages, they are overshadowed by the promise of youth of the Christian himself, who if studied carefully, can be seen paralleled through Ayden Kosacov himself, who ends up finding “there is more to living than being alive.”

Indeed, The Orphaned Anything's is a modern literary work that shimmers with hope and the promise of the success of the human spirit. Although Christian may alienate an audience who may not be privy to the musical underground of the new millennium, he shows the promise of a fresh young writer with a long, bright future ahead of him.

[Adrian Villagomez]

I'm delighted to approve a book review on AP.net. Different flavor.

[Gil Schwartzman]

3%, eh?

Something get screwed up there?

[Adrian Villagomez]

3%, eh?

Something get screwed up there?No screw up, he just didn't rate it. I wasn't going to push a numerical rating on him either.

[awakeohsleeper]

I'm delighted to approve a book review on AP.net. Different flavor.
Great stuff! Exciting times! In my head I shouted "A book review! A book review!" when I saw it. Yes.

[ExplodingStereo]

Great review, I want to read this so bad. Stephen Christian is by far one of the best and most underrated songwriters of our time and I am not surprised he wrote a book. Is this on Amazon.com only or is this nationally distributed in all book stores.

[spokenrope]

Awesome review. I love Stephen, and this book is certainly on my Christmas list. I can't wait to check it out.

That being said, shouldn't the title of the book be "The Orphaned Anythings" (minus the apostrophe)? The apostrophe would indicate that the Orphaned Anything either possesses something, or he *is* something. Without the apostrophe, the title means that there is just more than one Orphaned Anything.

Ordinarily, I would just let such a thing go. But come on. It's the title of the book.

[genericmadness]

Awesome review. I love Stephen, and this book is certainly on my Christmas list. I can't wait to check it out.

That being said, shouldn't the title of the book be "The Orphaned Anythings" (minus the apostrophe)? The apostrophe would indicate that the Orphaned Anything either possesses something, or he *is* something. Without the apostrophe, the title means that there is just more than one Orphaned Anything.

Ordinarily, I would just let such a thing go. But come on. It's the title of the book.

If that bothers you, don't read this book.

Spoiler: it's terrible. I was hoping it would be good, but to the contrary, it's possibly the worst book I've ever read. The worst part is all the Anberlin sycophants hailing him as some indie wunderkind, it's impossible to find an objective review.

But don't take my word for it, that wouldn't be fair. Instead see if you can make it through this chapter:
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=269773305&blogID=366009355

[Mochem]

If that bothers you, don't read this book.

Spoiler: it's terrible. I was hoping it would be good, but to the contrary, it's possibly the worst book I've ever read. The worst part is all the Anberlin sycophants hailing him as some indie wunderkind, it's impossible to find an objective review.

But don't take my word for it, that wouldn't be fair. Instead see if you can make it through this chapter:
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=269773305&blogID=366009355
I expected a little better than that, and I don't even like Anberlin. And he spelled "you're" wrong ("your"). I hope mistake isn't in the actual book.

And the apostrophe in the title bothers me too.

[Colto0824]

I expected a little better than that, and I don't even like Anberlin. And he spelled "you're" wrong ("your"). I hope mistake isn't in the actual book.

And the apostrophe in the title bothers me too.

Ok well don't read it. I personally loved this book and it's one of my favorites; but he writes as he speaks and focuses not upon literary rules but upon his beautiful story. It was actually quite refreshing to me and I can't wait for another one. Read it if you're a fan of a good story. Not if you are purely a fan of grammar.

[mattz123]

3% seems about right.

[topher465]

I expected a little better than that, and I don't even like Anberlin. And he spelled "you're" wrong ("your"). I hope mistake isn't in the actual book.

And the apostrophe in the title bothers me too.


It's written as a journal, and to make it feel more like a journal stephen left a lot of mistakes, misspellings, and other things to make it more real

If that bothers you, don't read this book.

Spoiler: it's terrible. I was hoping it would be good, but to the contrary, it's possibly the worst book I've ever read. The worst part is all the Anberlin sycophants hailing him as some indie wunderkind, it's impossible to find an objective review.

But don't take my word for it, that wouldn't be fair. Instead see if you can make it through this chapter:
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=269773305&blogID=366009355


I wouldn't say terrible. One must consider that its his first book. He isn't Ayn Rand or Aldous Huxley by any means, but for a full-time musician trying his hand at novel writing, its certainly not bad.

[xtheaudition]

interesting.

[Mochem]

Ok well don't read it. I personally loved this book and it's one of my favorites; but he writes as he speaks and focuses not upon literary rules but upon his beautiful story. It was actually quite refreshing to me and I can't wait for another one. Read it if you're a fan of a good story. Not if you are purely a fan of grammar.
Ok. I wasn't planning on reading it anyway. Like I said, I'm not a fan of Anberlin. I can't judge whether or not it's a good book, I only read that chapter that was on the blog. But I'm just saying grammatical mistakes really distract me when I'm reading. They sort of kill the mood in a way I guess. It's hard for me to take something as serious as it is intended to be when words are spelled or used incorrectly like that.

Anyway, most of the blame falls on the editor, not Stephen, for not catching the mistakes (if there are any in the book and it wasn't just a typo on the blog, and if the apostrophe wasn't intended for some reason). I don't know if he did the whole book by himself or not though.

[Sic Transit Zeb]

I expected a little better than that, and I don't even like Anberlin. And he spelled "you're" wrong ("your"). I hope mistake isn't in the actual book.

And the apostrophe in the title bothers me too.

I agree. I was gonna make a post about it too but you guys have it covered. Haha.

[Sic Transit Zeb]

Ok. I wasn't planning on reading it anyway. Like I said, I'm not a fan of Anberlin. I can't judge whether or not it's a good book, I only read that chapter that was on the blog. But I'm just saying grammatical mistakes really distract me when I'm reading. They sort of kill the mood in a way I guess. It's hard for me to take something as serious as it is intended to be when words are spelled or used incorrectly like that.

I'm the same way. Glad to know I'm not the only one.

[Zarina Rexroat]

Awesome review. I love Stephen, and this book is certainly on my Christmas list. I can't wait to check it out.

That being said, shouldn't the title of the book be "The Orphaned Anythings" (minus the apostrophe)? The apostrophe would indicate that the Orphaned Anything either possesses something, or he *is* something. Without the apostrophe, the title means that there is just more than one Orphaned Anything.

Ordinarily, I would just let such a thing go. But come on. It's the title of the book.

If you read the book, it makes sense. There is a reason why he spelled it that way.


Ok well don't read it. I personally loved this book and it's one of my favorites; but he writes as he speaks and focuses not upon literary rules but upon his beautiful story. It was actually quite refreshing to me and I can't wait for another one. Read it if you're a fan of a good story. Not if you are purely a fan of grammar.

Exactly.

[joshy hizzle]

3% seems about right.

Douchebag.

[Flower4u2c]

I think the grammar was intentional. He was going for the whole journalistic feel, but really, who mixes up "your" and "you're" every single time and puts an apostrophe on any word that ends in an s? In my opinion, the grammar pulled away from what was a decent story line. I remember reading the first chapter on his blog a really long time ago and figuring that an editor would fix all the mistakes. I've always enjoyed Christian's lyrics and blog and I'm glad I read the book, but it's not anything I would recommend unless you're a big Anberlin fan.

[djsclaus]

I enjoyed this book.

Not a bestseller by any means, but it was an interesting read and it was cool seeing Stephen's creativity in something else than a song.

[Merkin]

Good good. Anyone know when Anchor & Braille is getting released?

[TheBaroness]

If that bothers you, don't read this book.

Spoiler: it's terrible. I was hoping it would be good, but to the contrary, it's possibly the worst book I've ever read. The worst part is all the Anberlin sycophants hailing him as some indie wunderkind, it's impossible to find an objective review.

But don't take my word for it, that wouldn't be fair. Instead see if you can make it through this chapter:
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=269773305&blogID=366009355

I agree 100%. This was one of the most stale, predictable, trite, and poorly-written books I've read in a long time. I'm sorry to say such things as the dude seems like a nice guy with some interesting ideas about life, but none of them are really conveyed in this work which, ultimately, feels like it was cranked out well before it was ready.

[genericmadness]

I agree 100%. This was one of the most stale, predictable, trite, and poorly-written books I've read in a long time. I'm sorry to say such things as the dude seems like a nice guy with some interesting ideas about life, but none of them are really conveyed in this work which, ultimately, feels like it was cranked out well before it was ready.

I too am sorry to say it because I have a lot of respect for the guy. It's just a shame his work comes off as a poor man's Dave Eggers.

[guitarpickheart]

I really like Anberlin, but I don't like what I've read from the book very much. I haven't read the whole book, mainly because I can't read it at the bookstore or the library and I'm not buying it. The grammar really bothers me, like almost everyone above says. Even if there is a reason for the apostrophe on the cover, I don't think it was a great choice. To someone who hasn't read the book it just looks like someone made a big grammar mistake and was too lazy to fix it. I'm curious about whether Stephen had an editor or edited the book himself.

[reid]

stephen does improper grammar and spelling in his song lyrics and titles, too. it's just something he likes to do. he's a really smart guy with a college degree and knows how to write and use proper english skills. he just doesn't like to do it in this book (or anberlin related stuff). if you've ever read "everything is illuminated", there is also a purposeful use of poor grammar and spelling (albeit from a kid from ukraine who has poor english skills as it's a 2nd lanaguage and he isn't fluent in it). stephen has a reason behind it, and it's easy to get used to.

[spokenrope]

stephen does improper grammar and spelling in his song lyrics and titles, too. it's just something he likes to do. he's a really smart guy with a college degree and knows how to write and use proper english skills. he just doesn't like to do it in this book (or anberlin related stuff). if you've ever read "everything is illuminated", there is also a purposeful use of poor grammar and spelling (albeit from a kid from ukraine who has poor english skills as it's a 2nd lanaguage and he isn't fluent in it). stephen has a reason behind it, and it's easy to get used to.

Hm. That's a really good point. "Never Take Friendship Personal," anyone?

[genericmadness]

Hm. That's a really good point. "Never Take Friendship Personal," anyone?

Also, he uses the word "conversate" (which doesn't exist) in Alexithymia.

Honestly though, if poor grammar and spelling are what it takes to be clever these days, I give up.
That seems completely backwards to me.

[topher465]

Also, he uses the word "conversate" (which doesn't exist) in Alexithymia.

Honestly though, if poor grammar and spelling are what it takes to be clever these days, I give up.
That seems completely backwards to me.


No one seems to be getting the point. This is a memoir. It's not a regular novel. He doesn't use capitalization and he spells words wrong and he uses the wrong punctuation because the book is meant to be the journal of the main character. As for the title, it should not be "The Orphaned Anythings" because its about one individual. The title is possessive, and more than likely references what Ayden possesses in his life; his struggle.

[A_Rolling_Stone]

i agree with what is said in this review. stephen has awesome potential as a writer i believe but he still needs to work on things. the fact that his book is only "really" appealing to this modern generation prevents it from being appreciated by the masses. also it felt like he tossed in large vocabulary words just for the sake of doing so. i lost count of how many times he said "jejune". in the end i still enjoyed this book, despite some of its apparent flaws.

[A_Rolling_Stone]

I too am sorry to say it because I have a lot of respect for the guy. It's just a shame his work comes off as a poor man's Dave Eggers.

even with eggers i feel like i can predict what comes about next. i think the problem is writing a book like this that can appeal to people with out seeming typical.

[Colto0824]

No one seems to be getting the point. This is a memoir. It's not a regular novel. He doesn't use capitalization and he spells words wrong and he uses the wrong punctuation because the book is meant to be the journal of the main character. As for the title, it should not be "The Orphaned Anythings" because its about one individual. The title is possessive, and more than likely references what Ayden possesses in his life; his struggle.

Totes man. Nailed it on the freakin' head.

[googirl8907]

This is a great book. I love it more every time I read it.

[madeuplovesong]

I really like Anberlin and, having read Stephen's blog for a while now, I bought the book. I've read it and I thought it was great - but it took me a good while to get through it. I'm an English student so I really struggled with the grammar etc. and could only read a chapter or so at a time to keep the twitch at bay.

I can see where he was coming from, but I think that the character is developed enough in the text without the mistakes which only cause the reader confusion at parts. Moreso, it seems as though Stephen's actually gone out of his way to write badly. If he's graduated and is obviously a pretty smart guy - he wouldn't write that way without specifically trying to. It just seems backward.

[Gregory Robson]

If that bothers you, don't read this book.

Spoiler: it's terrible. I was hoping it would be good, but to the contrary, it's possibly the worst book I've ever read. The worst part is all the Anberlin sycophants hailing him as some indie wunderkind, it's impossible to find an objective review.

But don't take my word for it, that wouldn't be fair. Instead see if you can make it through this chapter:
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=269773305&blogID=366009355
It really is awful. So true.

[myreminderofyou]

The error in the title of the book suggests that it's going to be different. I love this book, and the grammatical errors are apart of the story as a whole. Most of the story is the inner-dialogue of ayden, so i think that the errors add to the journal-like feel ot it. Yes it took me awhile to get used to it, but in the end it was still a beautiful story.

Although, I think the grammar could have been used in a better way to add character development. For example, instead of keeping the errors consistent throughout the book, the grammar could have improved along with the growth of the main character.
but oh well, I am a huge fan of Anberlin and Stephen Christian and agree that this book is not for everyone.