Picking up girls

[DaveZeroZero]

What are some ways/the best ways to go about it? I need a little push in this area.

This can also act as a thread for general advice for other people in this subject in order to save crowding the forum.

I need to find a new vagina,
Any kind of new vagina,
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina,
Calvin Klein? Kind of North Carolina.

[kwsqd]

Dave, you should have just sent me an e-mail asking this question.

[DaveZeroZero]

Dave, you should have just sent me an e-mail asking this question.
You're right - it would help me immensely.

[kwsqd]

You're right - it would help me immensely.
It would. I mean.. just look at how well I'm doing!

[.invisible ink.]

you need to be more of an asshole.

oh, and be hot. that works wonders.

[thespearkid]

Eat pussy - You totally must.

[.invisible ink.]

Eat pussy - You totally must.

this too.

[kwsqd]

you need to be more of an asshole.

oh, and be hot. that works wonders.
what she said is totally true. If I was more bro or more douche baggy or scene I would get laid. Being attractive helps too.

Eat pussy - You totally must.
He has to pick them up first!

[thespearkid]

what she said is totally true. If I was more bro or more douche baggy or scene I would get laid. Being attractive helps too.


He has to pick them up first!
I suppose it's a bit of a chicken/egg situation.

[kwsqd]

I suppose it's a bit of a chicken/egg situation.
hahaha uhh not really!

[Burning Star IV]

I don't understand why women like being around assholes.

[kwsqd]

I don't understand why women like being around assholes.
because they're dumb bitches.

[DaveZeroZero]

It would. I mean.. just look at how well I'm doing!
You're like a modern Casanova.

you need to be more of an asshole.

oh, and be hot. that works wonders.
It's great that you aren't worried about swallowing all that semen will make you fat.

Eat pussy - You totally must.
Yeah, that works as a great in.

[.invisible ink.]

I don't understand why women like being around assholes.

it makes things more interesting.

guys that are nice all the time are kind of boring. Most guys like girls that are sort of bitches too. It's all about the chase if you get right down to it.


It's great that you aren't worried about swallowing all that semen will make you fat.



pardon me? where were we talking about swallowing semen? FYI, semen is mostly protein with very few, if any, calories. You should be encouraging chicks to swallow your semen, not discouraging them by insinuating it will make them fat. duh.

[Smash Adams]

I usually just grab them from their waste and lift them up

[Burning Star IV]

because they're dumb bitches.
FINALLY! Someone put it in words I can understand.

[kwsqd]

You're like a modern Casanova.
Yes

[DaveZeroZero]

because they're dumb bitches.
I give you less credit on your knowledge of women than you deserve, Ken.

[kwsqd]

FINALLY! Someone put it in words I can understand.
You're welcome.

[kwsqd]

I give you less credit on your knowledge of women than you deserve, Ken.
yep.

[Burning Star IV]

Fuck women. Who need 'em?

[DaveZeroZero]

Fuck women.
I hope to.

[kwsqd]

Fuck women. Who need 'em?
I do. I need this one girl. But yes, fuck women in general.

[.invisible ink.]

Fuck women. Who need 'em?

i thought you had a girlfriend? What's wrong?

[&IllBeTheReason]

You don't have to be an asshole, just be confident.
AND
Wear the right size clothes.

[berskyjr]

booze.

/thread

[.invisible ink.]

You don't have to be an asshole, just be confident.
AND
Wear the right size clothes.

i'll add to this as well, be intelligent. I don't know about for everyone, but to me smart guys are such a huge turn-on it's not even funny.

[Burning Star IV]

i thought you had a girlfriend? What's wrong?
Lol, I do have a girlfriend. Nothing is wrong, but women overreact, over analyze, and make everything so much more difficult than it has to be.

[DaveZeroZero]

i'll add to this as well, be intelligent. I don't know about for everyone, but to me smart guys are such a huge turn-on it's not even funny.
Well, it's not worked so far.

[&IllBeTheReason]

i'll add to this as well, be intelligent. I don't know about for everyone, but to me smart guys are such a huge turn-on it's not even funny.
Yes! Sometimes a not so clasically goodlooking guy can be much more appealing if he can hold an intelligent conversation.

[.invisible ink.]

Lol, I go have a girlfriend. Nothing is wrong, but women overreact, over analyze, and make everything so much more difficult than it has to be.

very true. i can't deny this at all. if it makes you feel any better, most of us hate the fact that we do it too but it's reallllly hard to stop.

[Renee]

Lol, I do have a girlfriend. Nothing is wrong, but women overreact, over analyze, and make everything so much more difficult than it has to be.
What fun would there be if we didn't?

[framebyframe]

Not all girls like assholes! Don't be an asshole please because that is so unattractive. If you're funny and at least decent looking you are good to go.

Oh, and it helps if you have a rugged beard. And its such a turn on when guys are passionate/know a lot about something. Like movies or music or something like that.

[mattmatumbo]

i just get drunk and lay on my bed, worked out well last night.

[Burning Star IV]

What fun would there be if we didn't?
That's quite the ass-backwards logic you got there.

[Renee]

That's quite the ass-backwards logic you got there.
I know, I'm a woman.

[DaveZeroZero]

Not all girls like assholes! Don't be an asshole please because that is so unattractive. If you're funny and at least decent looking you are good to go.

Oh, and it helps if you have a rugged beard. And its such a turn on when guys are passionate/know a lot about something. Like movies or music or something like that.
I can't grow a rugged beard... Upstairs, at least.

i just get drunk and lay on my bed, worked out well last night.
Do tell.

[.invisible ink.]

Not all girls like assholes! Don't be an asshole please because that is so unattractive. If you're funny and at least decent looking you are good to go.

Oh, and it helps if you have a rugged beard. And its such a turn on when guys are passionate/know a lot about something. Like movies or music or something like that.

passionate = good
funny = good
rugged beard = not so good

i'd rather not date a mountain man or biker.
i like my boys clean-shaven unless we've been in bed for nearly a week straight and he hasn't gotten out of bed to remove the scruff from his face, that's the only good excuse for scrubby facial hair.

[chronomic]

picking up girls is like the best ego booster ever.

cept the kind of girl that would hook up with me after just meeting me at a bar/club isnt the kind of girl i would want to be with. which is a bit of a contradiction, hence my problems in life.

[Burning Star IV]

If it was all about the kneard, I'd have ladies lined up around the corners. Most women do not like facial hair. Which is bad for me, it keeps my face warm in the winter.

[mattmatumbo]

I can't grow a rugged beard... Upstairs, at least.


Do tell.

well if you're interested, she's my friend with benefits so we got drunk and got nasty. although there were no bj's which was a bum kill.

[DaveZeroZero]

picking up girls is like the best ego booster ever.

cept the kind of girl that would hook up with me after just meeting me at a bar/club isnt the kind of girl i would want to be with. which is a bit of a contradiction, hence my problems in life.
At the moment, I'm not picky.

[DaveZeroZero]

well if you're interested, she's my friend with benefits so we got drunk and got nasty. although there were no bj's which was a bum kill.
Haha, it's more win than I'm getting.

:highfive:

[chronomic]

At the moment, I'm not picky.

haha i'm not saying i don't go though with it...just afterwards i feel odd sometimes. damn my conscience.

[DaveZeroZero]

haha i'm not saying i don't go though with it...just afterwards i feel odd sometimes. damn my conscience.
Consciences are overrated.

[parallelism]

Go to college.

In high school, girls liked me but I was super shy and would never really find out they liked me until it was too late. Then I started college and literally went from getting nothing to... well, let's not say being a manslut but having many opportunities open at once.

The shyness still affects things in college, but the difference is that rather than having people assume they know you because they see you all the time, you meet people and they completely pry at your personality traits until you HAVE to show them. And then things happen?

Oh, and learn to force out nervous smiles during conversation. If you can't make the flirtiness happen on its own, the nervous smiles are easy to pass off as flirtiness.

[DaveZeroZero]

Go to college.

In high school, girls liked me but I was super shy and would never really find out they liked me until it was too late. Then I started college and literally went from getting nothing to... well, let's not say being a manslut but having many opportunities open at once.

The shyness still affects things in college, but the difference is that rather than having people assume they know you because they see you all the time, you meet people and they completely pry at your personality traits until you HAVE to show them. And then things happen?
yeah, I'm hoping that the same thing will happen at college.

However, a year's a long time.

And I'm hardly what I'd call "shy".

[mattmatumbo]

Go to college.

i laughed too hard at that sentence.

[.invisible ink.]

And I'm hardly what I'd call "shy".

maybe that's the problem. be more mysterious. shy guys are super sexy because you can't easily read them. Confident and mysterious, that works really well.

[DaveZeroZero]

maybe that's the problem. be more mysterious. shy guys are super sexy because you can't easily read them. Confident and mysterious, that works really well.
Mysterious doesn't really go well with ADD.

[parallelism]

yeah, I'm hoping that the same thing will happen at college.

However, a year's a long time.

And I'm hardly what I'd call "shy".

Then yeah, maybe just be a little bit more reserved and see out that goes for you. I mean, don't completely shut off your personality. If you're the hyper type, tone it down. Subtly compliment girls, but when they acknowledge that you did it, just smile or act like you don't know what they're talking about.

I mean, I wouldn't say try to act mysterious, because I'd feel cheesy doing that. I am kind of a quiet dude, but I'm comfortable with engaging in a conversation and acting confident. I keep my hyper outbursts to a minimum and because of that, they tend to catch people by surprise and be pretty effective when they do happen. If I've got my eye on somebody, I just try to show some of the diversity in my personality.

I pretty much just had to learn when to show I was interested in somebody and when to play around a little more first. Sometimes you can come off as too much or too boring, and just saying a couple things to prove yourself otherwise is all it takes.

[DaveZeroZero]

Then yeah, maybe just be a little bit more reserved and see out that goes for you. I mean, don't completely shut off your personality. If you're the hyper type, tone it down. Subtly compliment girls, but when they acknowledge that you did it, just smile or act like you don't know what they're talking about.

I mean, I wouldn't say try to act mysterious, because I'd feel cheesy doing that. However, I am kind of a quiet dude, but I'm comfortable with engaging in a conversation and acting confident. I keep my hyper outbursts to a minimum and because of that, they tend to catch people by surprise and be pretty effective.

I pretty much just had to learn when to show I was interested in somebody and when to play around a little more first. Sometimes you can come off as too much or too boring, and just saying a couple things to prove yourself otherwise is all it takes.
I kind of blend the two, but my attention span is so short that I tend to flit around at parties and spend like 5 minutes at a time with each group of people and just circulate =/

[.invisible ink.]

Then yeah, maybe just be a little bit more reserved and see out that goes for you. I mean, don't completely shut off your personality. If you're the hyper type, tone it down. Subtly compliment girls, but when they acknowledge that you did it, just smile or act like you don't know what they're talking about.

I mean, I wouldn't say try to act mysterious, because I'd feel cheesy doing that. I am kind of a quiet dude, but I'm comfortable with engaging in a conversation and acting confident. I keep my hyper outbursts to a minimum and because of that, they tend to catch people by surprise and be pretty effective when they do happen. If I've got my eye on somebody, I just try to show some of the diversity in my personality.

I pretty much just had to learn when to show I was interested in somebody and when to play around a little more first. Sometimes you can come off as too much or too boring, and just saying a couple things to prove yourself otherwise is all it takes.

excellent advice.

[.invisible ink.]

I kind of blend the two, but my attention span is so short that I tend to flit around at parties and spend like 5 minutes at a time with each group of people and just circulate =/

smoke some weed and chill on the couch for a bit.

[xxero182]

go buy THE GAME.

[.invisible ink.]

go buy THE GAME.

sooo true. That guy, Mystery, no matter how much of a creepster he is, is the shit.

It took me a second to realize what you were talking about though, at first I thought you meant the movie starring Ice Cube where he's a homeless man that gets hunted. Not a bad movie, but not as helpful as the book about getting laid.

[bung]

Nobody would believe the chicks I bag ;)

[kafe]

Well getting off the internet would sure up your changes Dave :-p

[HelpMeSleep]

wtf. how did this thread already get 50+ responses before I even noticed it. fail on my part.

regardless, I have nothing to say on this topic. I just told you I wouldn't hit on you anymore and I don't really trust myself to speak on these matters without doing that, so I won't.

[Mosquito Fish]

Advice from me would be like taking directions from a druken hobo...it always leads you to a liquer store. Hell, I have my own problems getting a girl.

[Ouch]

anal

[HelpMeSleep]

I usually just grab them from their waste and lift them up
hahaha.

i'll add to this as well, be intelligent. I don't know about for everyone, but to me smart guys are such a huge turn-on it's not even funny.
he already has that though.

Not all girls like assholes! Don't be an asshole please because that is so unattractive. If you're funny and at least decent looking you are good to go.

Oh, and it helps if you have a rugged beard. And its such a turn on when guys are passionate/know a lot about something. Like movies or music or something like that.
Dave claimed to me that he was quite rugged. :shrug:

picking up girls is like the best ego booster ever.

cept the kind of girl that would hook up with me after just meeting me at a bar/club isnt the kind of girl i would want to be with. which is a bit of a contradiction, hence my problems in life.
I get that. I enjoy getting hit on and being pursued by guys I have no interest in simply because it's a nice ego boost. I just wish I could find one I actually do like, and then I could stop with the other ones.

haha i'm not saying i don't go though with it...just afterwards i feel odd sometimes. damn my conscience.
consciences are a good thing though.

most guys I've gotten involved with haven't seemed to have them. :-/

[HelpMeSleep]

anal
anal's old news.

[Ouch]

frontal?

[HelpMeSleep]

oral's the new anal.

[HelpMeSleep]

Advice from me would be like taking directions from a druken hobo...it always leads you to a liquer store. Hell, I have my own problems getting a girl.
liquor*

and nice first post.

[MarsEatWorld]

i agree with what invisible ink said.. shes got it down.
parallelism does too.

[TheByrus]

being extremely confident is why about 90% of the girls i attempt to pick up agree to go out with me.


and it doesn't hurt being attractive, smart, and well dressed as well.

[Dezarie]

being extremely confident is why about 90% of the girls i attempt to pick up agree to go out with me.


and it doesn't hurt being attractive, smart, and well dressed as well.

He has it down, but as long as the confidence isn't a borderline asshole.
;)

[AP_Punk]

i have these pills that i use. works all the time.

[screamoutmyname]

I do. I need this one girl. But yes, fuck women in general.

hey, you're from reading!

[TheByrus]

He has it down, but as long as the confidence isn't a borderline asshole.
;)


haha, how you doin ;)

[Dezarie]

haha, how you doin ;)

Couldn't be better, haha. How about yourself?

[fadedmemories]

Go to college.

In high school, girls liked me but I was super shy and would never really find out they liked me until it was too late. Then I started college and literally went from getting nothing to... well, let's not say being a manslut but having many opportunities open at once.

The shyness still affects things in college, but the difference is that rather than having people assume they know you because they see you all the time, you meet people and they completely pry at your personality traits until you HAVE to show them. And then things happen?

Oh, and learn to force out nervous smiles during conversation. If you can't make the flirtiness happen on its own, the nervous smiles are easy to pass off as flirtiness.
Now I can't wait to go to college

[Closet Fan]

All your problems are about to be solved.

Sounds to me like you need a sure thing. No, you need the surest thing. I've got just the medicine. I am just like you. When I was first diagnosed, I was only twelve years old. An adorable kid, there I was, dealt a fatal blow at the lubed up hands of puberty. The events of that day changed me in ways I still can't fully understand. Oh, jeez, look at me! Struggling to explain myself to you. Hell, you know what it's like! For all I know, you could damn well be the ugliest son of a bitch in the world. But there's hope for you, you silly creature.

"I'm ready for my medicine, doctor."

Whoa. Slow down there, cowboy. Relief is never instantaneous.

After having been branded chronically "displeasing to the eye," I fought the tears and jeers that inevitably followed. I rose above the burdens of abnormality. With a re-enforced faith in Mother Nature, and a clear mind, I quickly realized the potential for a full healing. After confiding in some friends, and losing all but one, my last chance at recovery, a kid who now enjoys the fruits of his own triumph against the same foe you seek to defeat, hinted at a possible cure. Reluctant to trust him at first, I eventually surrendered myself for the chance at an escape. I had made up my mind that I would no longer live the life of a clown school dropout. I didn't just trust him on blind faith alone, however. In fact, it was not until he stayed with me through all of my physical and emotional changes, all of my violent outbreaks that he swept me into his all-knowing embrace. This guy, the fucking angel from heaven that he is, even partially tolerated/participated in the onslaught of hour long masturbation sessions that afflict me so.

After a particularly long and sweaty session, my friend told me about these things called "escorts." Before you get your dick all hard and proper, allow me to continue. Although he expressed no difficulty revealing the name of quite possibly the greatest discovery in the history of dating, my buddy insisted on playing the mysterious and stubborn card when asked to elaborate further on the subject. But don't fret. From what I was able to gather so far through various trips to the library and an additional few hours of internet research, an escort is actually a car made by the Ford Motor Company. Lucky for us mirror-breaking motherfuckers, they're a very affordable model!

Given your young age, I would imagine that you have not yet established credit. But, if you can get your folks feeling just as passionate as you about ridding yourself of the uglies, they may be willing to co-sign for you.

My mom's taking me to the dealership later today to pick up the keys. If all goes according to plan, I'll be swimming in vagina come next week.

October's going to be a bitchin' month.

Keep hope alive.

[HelpMeSleep]

hmm. I can't tell if this is a really long, unfunny attempt at a joke or spam. either way, it sucks, and I did not lol.

[Indoor Living]

Best pick-up line: Did you fall from heaven? Cause I love your tits.

[Closet Fan]

hmm. I can't tell if this is a really long, unfunny attempt at a joke or spam. either way, it sucks, and I did not lol.

It's actually a really long, unfunny attempt to denounce this entire thread. "Picking up girls?" I'm surprised no one told this kid to go fuck himself by now.

I will now leave you with the pleasure of attempting to solve the following riddle: straight girls don't have any business eating pussy.

Go seize yourself a piece of that pie.

[Greg]

hmm. I can't tell if this is a really long, unfunny attempt at a joke or spam. either way, it sucks, and I did not lol.
hahaha your profile pic is so "flirty". yea thats a nice word i can use for it haha

[DaveZeroZero]

Well getting off the internet would sure up your changes Dave :-p
Haha, true =]

i have these pills that i use. works all the time.
roofies!

Best pick-up line: Did you fall from heaven? Cause I love your tits.
Best finish.

[Maxwell]

Its okay, the master is here ladies and gentlemen.

Read 'The Game'.

[.invisible ink.]

go buy THE GAME.

Its okay, the master is here ladies and gentlemen.

Read 'The Game'.

just a tad late to the party, that's all.

[HelpMeSleep]

It's actually a really long, unfunny attempt to denounce this entire thread. "Picking up girls?" I'm surprised no one told this kid to go fuck himself by now.

I will now leave you with the pleasure of attempting to solve the following riddle: straight girls don't have any business eating pussy.

Go seize yourself a piece of that pie.
okay.

hahaha your profile pic is so "flirty". yea thats a nice word i can use for it haha
excuse me? what is that supposed to mean?

[DaveZeroZero]

I'm not paying for "The Game".

I wonder if the library will have it...

[HelpMeSleep]

I'm not paying or "The Game".

I wonder if the library will have it...
for*

[DaveZeroZero]

for*
Goddamn typos.

[HelpMeSleep]

Goddamn typos.
there's something satisfying about correcting you.

[DaveZeroZero]

there's something satisfying about correcting you.
There's something satisfying about correcting anyone.

[HelpMeSleep]

There's something satisfying about correcting anyone.
that's true. but it's more satisfying to correct you since you always do it to me.

[Heart-A-Tact]

I'm way too shy about shit like this.

[ZoSo1886]

simply oral.

[DaveZeroZero]

that's true. but it's more satisfying to correct you since you always do it to me.
You missed a comma.

[HelpMeSleep]

You missed a comma.
yup. kind of like that.

[DaveZeroZero]

yup. kind of like that.
Pretty much.

[HelpMeSleep]

Pretty much.
have you used anything you learned in this thread this weekend to help yourself out with the ladies?

[DaveZeroZero]

have you used anything you learned in this thread this weekend to help yourself out with the ladies?
I haven't, I'm afraid. I had to do a five hour round trip to watch the Great Britain baseball team beat a team of cricket players 23 runs to 1 in the rain.

[HelpMeSleep]

I haven't, I'm afraid. I had to do a five hour round trip to watch the Great Britain baseball team beat a team of cricket players 23 runs to 1 in the rain.
I didn't know Great Britain had a baseball team. why were they playing cricket players in baseball?

it rained here last night. it ruined my shoes. :-(

[DaveZeroZero]

I didn't know Great Britain had a baseball team. why were they playing cricket players in baseball?

it rained here last night. it ruined my shoes. :-(
It was a fundraiser match or something, not that many people turned up. They won the first world championship in 1938 when it was just them & the USA and haven't qualified since. However, they're back in this year haha.

[HelpMeSleep]

It was a fundraiser match or something, not that many people turned up. They won the first world championship in 1938 when it was just them & the USA and haven't qualified since. However, they're back in this year haha.
oh, I like fundraiser things. my friend and his dad came over this morning because they're visiting from texas and the dad showed us this little movie he made of their all star season this summer. it was so cool, he edited it with epic music and everything. I miss going to his games.

[DaveZeroZero]

oh, I like fundraiser things. my friend and his dad came over this morning because they're visiting from texas and the dad showed us this little movie he made of their all star season this summer. it was so cool, he edited it with epic music and everything. I miss going to his games.
Epic music? Cool.

Next time I come over to the States, I really hope that it's baseball season.

[HelpMeSleep]

Epic music? Cool.

Next time I come over to the States, I really hope that it's baseball season.
it was pretty sweet. I teared up lol.

then don't come in february like you were talking about before. who do you like? like teams

[DaveZeroZero]

it was pretty sweet. I teared up lol.

then don't come in february like you were talking about before. who do you like? like teams
The Mets & the Phillies.

[HelpMeSleep]

The Mets & the Phillies.
oh, nice. New York and Philadelphia then? that works since you go to the east coast.

[Maxwell]

just a tad late to the party, that's all.

Fuck...should of read through the whole thread.

[Greg]

okay.


excuse me? what is that supposed to mean?
you're a hottie and you know it? haha tha'ts another way to put it.

[HelpMeSleep]

you're a hottie and you know it? haha tha'ts another way to put it.
oh. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be insulted or what. I'm still not entirely sure lol.

[Greg]

oh. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be insulted or what. I'm still not entirely sure lol.
haha def not an insult. it was def meant more as a compliment. sorry for not being clear.

[HelpMeSleep]

haha def not an insult. it was def meant more as a compliment. sorry for not being clear.
haha. oh, okay, thank you! =] I'm lame and I tend to overanalyze things. my sister was over when I read that first one and I was just like "do I look slutty in this picture or something?" lol.

[lolwut1337]

It's actually a really long, unfunny attempt to denounce this entire thread. "Picking up girls?" I'm surprised no one told this kid to go fuck himself by now.

I will now leave you with the pleasure of attempting to solve the following riddle: straight girls don't have any business eating pussy.

Go seize yourself a piece of that pie.

I'm 90% sure that if any other poster/slightly less popular poster had posted something along these lines, they'd probably be told that.
:shrug:

[fadedmemories]

I'm 90% sure that if any other poster/slightly less popular poster had posted something along these lines, they'd probably be told that.
:shrug:
Yup

[HelpMeSleep]

I'm 90% sure that if any other poster/slightly less popular poster had posted something along these lines, they'd probably be told that.
:shrug:
Dave needs help picking up girls in the worst way, so I could never object.

[lolwut1337]

Dave needs help picking up girls in the worst way, so I could never object.

bahaha fair enough.
And also I just realised, I got to 200 posts without quitting! yaaay!

[HelpMeSleep]

bahaha fair enough.
And also I just realised, I got to 200 posts without quitting! yaaay!
:highfive:
soon you'll be a psot hoar busting out 1k a week like me lately lol.

[lolwut1337]

:highfive:
soon you'll be a psot hoar busting out 1k a week like me lately lol.

hahahaha *pats back* you're alright. lolol :-)
I see the amount of posts we pull in as sortof like myspace friends. The more, the better.

[Sic Transit Zeb]

ha get-em drunk! haha nahhh jk

idk, i'd say it's easiest to pick a girl when you're yourself.

girls, imo, like confident guys. Which too often comes off as being an asshole.

my only advice would be to be confident, and who ever said 'mysterious' had the right idea. not mysterious as in bland, but mysterious as in keeping them guessing and not being all up in their 'grill'.

idk, i'm drunk...too me a year to type this

[brandnew=love]

you're a hottie and you know it? haha tha'ts another way to put it.

hahaha your profile pic is so "flirty". yea thats a nice word i can use for it haha
Really, I'm not trying to put you down or anything... but I don't think most girls like being called a hottie. I honestly think she looks really pretty/beautiful in her pic. Most girls think that being called pretty means a lot more than being called a hottie... being called a hottie makes them kinda feel like not even a person... and it's disrespectul IMO.

[remedyeli]

ha get-em drunk! haha nahhh jk

idk, i'd say it's easiest to pick a girl when you're yourself.

girls, imo, like confident guys. Which too often comes off as being an asshole.

my only advice would be to be confident, and who ever said 'mysterious' had the right idea. not mysterious as in bland, but mysterious as in keeping them guessing and not being all up in their 'grill'.

idk, i'm drunk...too me a year to type this

*took.
Not that satisfying to correct someone who is drunk =/
Fuck.

[HelpMeSleep]

Really, I'm not trying to put you down or anything... but I don't think most girls like being called a hottie. I honestly think she looks really pretty/beautiful in her pic. Most girls think that being called pretty means a lot more than being called a hottie... being called a hottie makes them kinda feel like not even a person... and it's disrespectul IMO.
:sneakkiss:
you already know I think you're the sweetest guy ever =]

[brandnew=love]

:sneakkiss:
you already know I think you're the sweetest guy ever =]
:blush:
lol I'm really not... but thanks Mandi!

[HelpMeSleep]

:blush:
lol I'm really not... but thanks Mandi!
yes. you really are. in my opinion anyway. :-)

[brandnew=love]

yes. you really are. in my opinion anyway. :-)
thanks! your opinion means a lot to me... and that's really sweet of you to say.:-)

[HelpMeSleep]

thanks! your opinion means a lot to me... and that's really sweet of you to say.:-)
aww I'm glad, and I guess we're both sweet then!! =]

[brandnew=love]

aww I'm glad, and I guess we're both sweet then!! =]
lol true! (: anytime any guy talks to you like that just tell me. ;-)

[HelpMeSleep]

lol true! (: anytime any guy talks to you like that just tell me. ;-)
haha thanks! :-)

[brandnew=love]

haha thanks! :-)
welcome! (:

[HelpMeSleep]

What are some ways/the best ways to go about it? I need a little push in this area.

This can also act as a thread for general advice for other people in this subject in order to save crowding the forum.

I need to find a new vagina,
Any kind of new vagina,
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina,
Calvin Klein? Kind of North Carolina.
so for months, it's puzzled me why YOU haven't been able to get laid.
but I totally get it now. I think it's my newfound wisdom of being nineteen. :-)

[DaveZeroZero]

so for months, it's puzzled me why YOU haven't been able to get laid.
but I totally get it now. I think it's my newfound wisdom of being nineteen. :-)
What's the reason?

[HelpMeSleep]

What's the reason?
there's actually a lot.

[DaveZeroZero]

there's actually a lot.
List 'em.

[HelpMeSleep]

List 'em.
1) you're impatient. no one's just going to fuck you immediately.
2) you can't just focus on one person which is sort of key.
3) you play hot and cold.
4) you can't be bothered to flirt with the people who are actually willing to flirt with you.
5) you're shallow.
6) you're unoriginal and you repeat lines.
7) you're ungrateful.
8) you're disrespectful.
9) you make people feel stupid and like you're better than them.
10) anal.

[DaveZeroZero]

1) you're impatient. no one's just going to fuck you immediately.
2) you can't just focus on one person which is sort of key.
3) you play hot and cold.
4) you can't be bothered to flirt with the people who are actually willing to flirt with you.
5) you're shallow.
6) you're unoriginal and you repeat lines.
7) you're ungrateful.
8) you're disrespectful.
9) you make people feel stupid and like you're better than them.
10) anal.
Haha, it's so true. That said, some of the things that you listed are true only on here, but you wouldn't know from anywhere else, so it's an accurate list.

[HelpMeSleep]

Haha, it's so true. That said, some of the things that you listed are true only on here, but you wouldn't know from anywhere else, so it's an accurate list.
I bet you do a lot of that crap in real life too. that's why you're not getting laid, I promise you.

[Closet Fan]

I'm 90% sure that if any other poster/slightly less popular poster had posted something along these lines, they'd probably be told that.
:shrug:

So, if DaveZeroZero had written the post about the correlation between owning a Ford Escort and getting steady pussy, then he'd have a laundry list of chicks thirsting for his MAN-aise? But, because it had been posted by me, an AP rookie with less than twenty posts under his belt, the comment is immediately dismissed as being uncool?

Well, fine. Leave my flaccid penis flapping in the wind.

[DaveZeroZero]

So, if DaveZeroZero had written the post about the correlation between owning a Ford Escort and getting steady pussy, then he'd have a laundry list of chicks thirsting for his MAN-aise? But, because it had been posted by me, an AP rookie with less than twenty posts under his belt, the comment is immediately dismissed as being uncool?

Well, fine. Leave my flaccid penis flapping in the wind.
And leave my hardened penis fapping in the window.

[Greg]

Really, I'm not trying to put you down or anything... but I don't think most girls like being called a hottie. I honestly think she looks really pretty/beautiful in her pic. Most girls think that being called pretty means a lot more than being called a hottie... being called a hottie makes them kinda feel like not even a person... and it's disrespectul IMO.
IMO you are taking the internet too seriously here.

[Roboman]

This thread is full of PL win. And I don't mean "win" in a good way.

[Closet Fan]

And leave my hardened penis fapping in the window.

Thanks to you, I beat off now more than ever.

And my buddy who told me all about Ford Escorts can suck a dick too. I can't even get a chick to look at that shit, let alone ride shotgun with her face in my lap.

[HelpMeSleep]

So, if DaveZeroZero had written the post about the correlation between owning a Ford Escort and getting steady pussy, then he'd have a laundry list of chicks thirsting for his MAN-aise? But, because it had been posted by me, an AP rookie with less than twenty posts under his belt, the comment is immediately dismissed as being uncool?

Well, fine. Leave my flaccid penis flapping in the wind.
no. if Dave had written that instead of you, I would have had no qualms telling him it was unfunny.

[DaveZeroZero]

no. if Dave had written that instead of you, I would have had no qualms telling him it was unfunny.
But that's because I know that the phrase "getting steady pussy" could never be funny.

However, I may, one day soon, investigate the correlation between two things of an as-yet-undefined nature.

[Closet Fan]

no. if Dave had written that instead of you, I would have had no qualms telling him it was unfunny.

Right. But, if brandnew=love wrote it, he'd probably get laid for a change.

[Sic Transit Zeb]

*took.
Not that satisfying to correct someone who is drunk =/
Fuck.

haha, you know how many times i was hitting the backspace to correct my mistakes? It seriously took me forever.

[Sic Transit Zeb]

no. if Dave had written that instead of you, I would have had no qualms telling him it was unfunny.

you're unfunny. :-p


i think i see you in every thread that i've ever posted in.

[DaveZeroZero]

Right. But, if brandnew=love wrote it, he'd probably get laid for a change.
Why don't you just come out of the closet, already?

[Closet Fan]

THIS.

you're unfunny. :-p


i think i see you in every thread that i've ever posted in.

[HelpMeSleep]

But that's because I know that the phrase "getting steady pussy" could never be funny.

However, I may, one day soon, investigate the correlation between two things of an as-yet-undefined nature.
I didn't lol there and I don't mind telling you that, despite you being Dave.

Right. But, if brandnew=love wrote it, he'd probably get laid for a change.
you're still not funny. :shrug:

you're unfunny. :-p


i think i see you in every thread that i've ever posted in.
I psot too much. it's like a disease.

[HelpMeSleep]

Why don't you just come out of the closet, already?
good job, Dave. I can approve of that one.

[Closet Fan]

Why don't you just come out of the closet, already?

Well, Mandi's boyfriend and I both agreed that we wouldn't leave until he's ready.

He doesn't know how to break the news to her.

[jco3]

ya i suck at getting girls, I'm almost 18, blows.

[DaveZeroZero]

THIS.
Way to formulate your own witty response.

I didn't lol there and I don't mind telling you that, despite you being Dave.


I psot too much. it's like a disease.
But I wasn't trying to be funny there :shrug:


*post - this isn't /ap/

[HelpMeSleep]

Well, Mandi's boyfriend and I both agreed that we wouldn't leave until he's ready.

He doesn't know how to break the news to her.
:yawn: still not funny...

ya i suck at getting girls, I'm almost 18, blows.
go look at the list of things that are wrong with Dave that I made for him and see if any of them apply to you. I guarantee you, if he really wanted to get laid, he could fix those things, and he would.

Way to formulate your own witty response.


But I wasn't trying to be funny there :shrug:


*post - this isn't /ap/
I figured as much, but I was trying to prove a point.

I know but I don't care. I just like doing it anyway.

[Sic Transit Zeb]

I didn't lol there and I don't mind telling you that, despite you being Dave.


you're still not funny. :shrug:


I psot too much. it's like a disease.

haha, i could agree with that. It's just something to do while I'm bored.

:gunhead:

[Closet Fan]

Way to formulate your own witty response.

Considering you created a thread to receive advice about how to attract girls, it doesn't surprise me that you won't allow yourself to tell LiarsTurnMeOn how much of a catty, condescending bitch she is.

I'm unfunny? Well, I guess I just forgot about how goddamn funny peer-editing and having a non-stop menstrual cycle can be.

[HelpMeSleep]

haha, i could agree with that. It's just something to do while I'm bored.

:gunhead:
:highfive:

Considering you created a thread to receive advice about how to attract girls, it doesn't surprise me that you won't allow yourself to tell LiarsTurnMeOn how much of a catty, condescending bitch she is.

I'm unfunny? Well, I guess I just forgot about how goddamn funny peer-editing and having a non-stop menstrual cycle can be.
hahahha. catty, condescending bitch lol? me? that's hilarious. and Dave probably doesn't tell me that because he's even more of an internet asshole than I am. :-d

non-stop menstrual cycle? I easily have the best menstrual cycle of anyone I know.

[Closet Fan]

go look at the list of things that are wrong with Dave that I made for him and see if any of them apply to you. I guarantee you, if he really wanted to get laid, he could fix those things, and he would.
Someone should make a list of things wrong with you so your vagina can get back some of its color. If it's too fucked up to repair, you can always rent it out. Just place an ad on craigslist. You should be able to find at least one or two Eskimo families looking for a cheap home.

[.invisible ink.]

Someone should make a list of things wrong with you so your vagina can get back some of its color. If it's too fucked up to repair, you can always rent it out. Just place an ad on craigslist. You should be able to find at least one or two Eskimo families looking for a cheap home.


i think somebody has a crush on LiarsTurnMeOn, hahaha.

Closet Fan, you're spending a bit too much time thinking about the color and temperature of her vagina to be so turned off by her.

[HelpMeSleep]

Someone should make a list of things wrong with you so your vagina can get back some of its color. If it's too fucked up to repair, you can always rent it out. Just place an ad on craigslist. You should be able to find at least one or two Eskimo families looking for a cheap home.
my vagina's fantastic, thank you. no problems with it at all.

and Dave knows that list was nothing but constructive criticism. hell, I would have done him easily, if it weren't for everything on that list. and if we didn't live on entirely different continents. he knows this.

I would love it if someone I actually talk to quite a bit and who knows me, made me a list of things like that. then maybe I could actually have a successful relationship for once. Dave, care to return the favor? why am I not worth flirting with for more than a week?

[HelpMeSleep]

i think somebody has a crush on LiarsTurnMeOn, hahaha.

Closet Fan, you're spending a bit too much time thinking about the color and temperature of her vagina to be so turned off by her.
hahahah.

[Closet Fan]

i think somebody has a crush on LiarsTurnMeOn, hahaha.

Closet Fan, you're spending a bit too much time thinking about the color and temperature of her vagina to be so turned off by her.

Just let me blow my load, alright? Besides, I know I'm not the only one enjoying myself. LiarsTurnMeOn just sent me a private message revealing how soaking wet, and functional I singlehandedly made her vagina feel.

[.invisible ink.]

Just let me blow my load, alright? Besides, I know I'm not the only one enjoying myself. LiarsTurnMeOn just sent me a private message revealing how soaking wet, and functional I singlehandedly made her vagina feel.

please, be my guest. who am i to stop you from blowing your load into her rented out Eskimo's igloo?

[HelpMeSleep]

LiarsTurnMeOn just sent me a private message revealing how soaking wet, and functional I singlehandedly made her vagina feel.
somebody's the king of wishful thinking. :-)

[Closet Fan]

please, be my guest. who am i to stop you from blowing your load into her rented out Eskimo's igloo?

Just so long as I break you off a piece of that Eskimo Cream Pie, right? ;)

[Closet Fan]

somebody's the king of wishful thinking. :-)

You know if I had a faux-hawk and a sweet avatar, you and me would be married with three kids by now.

[HelpMeSleep]

You know if I had a faux-hawk and a sweet avatar, you and me would be married with three kids by now.
you and I*

no on the faux-hawk but a sweet avatar could get you places. regardless, I don't intend to get married for AWHILE.

[Closet Fan]

you and I*

no on the faux-hawk but a sweet avatar could get you places. regardless, I don't intend to get married for AWHILE.

I know I kind of hinted at how lame I thought correcting grammar was earlier, but, when you did it to me just now, I felt something powerful; otherworldly even.

Wait, here it cums.

[.invisible ink.]

Just so long as I break you off a piece of that Eskimo Cream Pie, right? ;)

ew. i don't clean up other people's messes.

[Maxwell]

what in the shit is going on here?

[HelpMeSleep]

I know I kind of hinted at how lame I thought correcting grammar was earlier, but, when you did it to me just now, I felt something powerful; otherworldly even.

Wait, here it cums.
I see what you did there.

good grammar is HAWT.

[HelpMeSleep]

what in the shit is going on here?
IDK my bff Jill?

[Closet Fan]

ew. i don't clean up other people's messes.

I meant a piece of an Eskimo Pie ice cream bar.

Check out all the awesome flavors @ www.eskimopie.com (http://absolutepunk.net/www.eskimopie.com).

They'll make you smile!

[.invisible ink.]

I meant a piece of an Eskimo Pie ice cream bar.

Check out all the awesome flavors @ www.eskimopie.com (http://absolutepunk.net/www.eskimopie.com).

They'll make you smile!

if at any point it resided in a vagina, i'll pass. thanks though.

[Closet Fan]

I see what you did there.

good grammar is HAWT.

Good grammar may be HAWT, but not nearly as HAWTT as a girl who's not afraid to enforce it.

You better send those damn Eskimos an eviction notice, 'cause, baby, I'm moving in.

[Closet Fan]

if at any point it resided in a vagina, i'll pass. thanks though.

You'd have to be a stone cold pervert to even THINK about eating an Eskimo Pie out of a girl's snatch. More importantly, you'd have to be a Stone Cold Steve Austin to actually do it.

[.invisible ink.]

You'd have to be a stone cold pervert to even THINK about eating an Eskimo Pie out of a girl's snatch. More importantly, you'd have to be a Stone Cold Steve Austin to actually do it.

thanks, that statement just made it into my signature.

as for being a stone cold pervert, guilty as charged.

[HelpMeSleep]

if at any point it resided in a vagina, i'll pass. thanks though.
there has never at any point in time been in any ice cream in my vag, so I think you should be okay.

Good grammar may be HAWT, but not nearly as HAWTT as a girl who's not afraid to enforce it.

You better send those damn Eskimos an eviction notice, 'cause, baby, I'm moving in.
;-)

wait, were you not insulting me ten minutes ago? now you want to live in my vagina?

[Closet Fan]

;-)

wait, were you not insulting me ten minutes ago? now you want to live in my vagina?

It sounds wrong when you say it like that ... but, yes.

[Closet Fan]

thanks, that statement just made it into my signature.

as for being a stone cold pervert, guilty as charged.

If you're anything like the chick in your avatar, I'd say so. She looks like she'd gladly eat your share of that pie.

[HelpMeSleep]

It sounds wrong when you say it like that ... but, yes.
funny how quickly things change.

[Closet Fan]

funny how quickly things change.

Oh, Mandi, please. You know you've also got a little soft spot for me! ;)

[HelpMeSleep]

Oh, Mandi, please. You know you've also got a little soft spot for me! ;)
soft spot? where? can you point me in the right direction? I can't seem to locate it.

[Closet Fan]

soft spot? where? can you point me in the right direction? I can't seem to locate it.

It's a little spot located on the anterior wall of your vag. I'm pretty sure it starts and ends with a single letter 'G.'

[DaveZeroZero]

Considering you created a thread to receive advice about how to attract girls, it doesn't surprise me that you won't allow yourself to tell LiarsTurnMeOn how much of a catty, condescending bitch she is.

I'm unfunny? Well, I guess I just forgot about how goddamn funny peer-editing and having a non-stop menstrual cycle can be.
Well, I'm impressed that you know words as long as condescending.

Someone should make a list of things wrong with you so your vagina can get back some of its color. If it's too fucked up to repair, you can always rent it out. Just place an ad on craigslist. You should be able to find at least one or two Eskimo families looking for a cheap home.
Please learn how to quote properly.

soft spot? where? can you point me in the right direction? I can't seem to locate it.
I FOUND THE G-SPOT!!1

No lie.

[HelpMeSleep]

I FOUND THE G-SPOT!!1

No lie.
do want. I haven't fucked the ex in awhile.

[DaveZeroZero]

do want. I haven't fucked the ex in awhile.
I haven't fucked anyone in what seems like forever.

Oh, wait, it IS forever.

[Closet Fan]

I haven't fucked anyone in what seems like forever.

Oh, wait, it IS forever.

You mean this thread hasn't helped you at all?

[DaveZeroZero]

You mean this thread hasn't helped you at all?
Well, it's only been a day.

[HelpMeSleep]

I haven't fucked anyone in what seems like forever.

Oh, wait, it IS forever.
:shrug:
if you still haven't by the time you come out to the U.S., I wouldn't mind helping you out. pop tarts included.

[Closet Fan]

Well, it's only been a day.

Might I be of some assistance?

Change your avatar to "I DEMAND SEXUAL GRATIFICATION." I know it's really to the point, but you could probably reel in some pussy with that shit, man.

[DaveZeroZero]

Might I be of some assistance?

Change your avatar to "I DEMAND SEXUAL GRATIFICATION." I know it's really to the point, but you could probably reel in some pussy with that shit, man.
but I want it to look like I want a d-d-d-d-d-DUEL!

[jco3]

go look at the list of things that are wrong with Dave that I made for him and see if any of them apply to you. I guarantee you, if he really wanted to get laid, he could fix those things, and he would.

ya i think I'm definitely able to, with a good sense of humor, friendly tone, and a fairly sharp features, I think I'm capable, I am shy though, Idk. It seems like that is everyone's problem... also I'm very passive, assertiveness is what i lack.:-(

[Closet Fan]

:shrug:
if you still haven't by the time you come out to the U.S., I wouldn't mind helping you out. pop tarts included.

He gets Pop Tarts and all I ever got was a fucking Eskimo Pie?

[Closet Fan]

go look at the list of things that are wrong with Dave that I made for him and see if any of them apply to you. I guarantee you, if he really wanted to get laid, he could fix those things, and he would.

ya i think I'm definitely able to, with a good sense of humor, friendly tone, and a fairly sharp features, I think I'm capable, I am shy though, Idk. It seems like that is everyone's problem... also I'm very passive, assertiveness is what i lack.:-(

Get a girl sloppy drunk. That's what my friend used to do before he got one of them pregnant.

[HelpMeSleep]

but I want it to look like I want a d-d-d-d-d-DUEL!
I see how it is. I withdraw my offer. this was one of the things on the list, Dave.

ya i think I'm definitely able to, with a good sense of humor, friendly tone, and a fairly sharp features, I think I'm capable, I am shy though, Idk. It seems like that is everyone's problem... also I'm very passive, assertiveness is what i lack.:-(
maybe you just haven't found the right girl?

He gets Pop Tarts and all I ever got was a fucking Eskimo Pie?
but they're cherry poppin' tarts. virgins only. :shrug:
the eskimo pie was your idea! and those are good anyway! they're my third favorite thing ice cream bar/sandwich-esque thing.

[DaveZeroZero]

I see how it is. I withdraw my offer. this was one of the things on the list, Dave.
I'm not in the mood to flirt tonight, Mandi.

[Greg]

hey mandi just wanted to make sure you knew my comments earlier were simply to call you cute in a playful way. i was in a weird mood i guess haha it seems like it all came across wrong. so i will just say it straight,... "you look real cute in your new profile pic." :wave:

[HelpMeSleep]

I'm not in the mood to flirt tonight, Mandi.
you never are anymore, Dave. =[
what's wrong? why are you in a non-flirting mood? how was your sunday?

[Closet Fan]

I see how it is. I withdraw my offer. this was one of the things on the list, Dave.


maybe you just haven't found the right girl?


but they're cherry poppin' tarts. virgins only. :shrug:
the eskimo pie was your idea! and those are good anyway! they're my third favorite thing ice cream bar/sandwich-esque thing.

That does make sense! Me, you, a flat surface, and a few Eskimo Pies...

[DaveZeroZero]

you never are anymore, Dave. =[
what's wrong? why are you in a non-flirting mood? how was your sunday?
Because I'm tired and callous and not really very receptive to anything. I'm still mulling over my short attention span and epic assholeyness.

[HelpMeSleep]

hey mandi just wanted to make sure you knew my comments earlier were simply to call you cute in a playful way. i was in a weird mood i guess haha it seems like it all came across wrong. so i will just say it straight,... "you look real cute in your new profile pic." :wave:
haha! thank you! =] it's cool. like I said before, I'm crazy, I overanalyze. I'm self-conscious and slightly on the defensive. it's probably more my fault than yours. :-)

That does make sense! Me, you, a flat surface, and a few Eskimo Pies...
you wish.

[Closet Fan]

haha! thank you! =] :-)


you wish.

I know.

[HelpMeSleep]

Because I'm tired and callous and not really very receptive to anything. I'm still mulling over my short attention span and epic assholeyness.
I'm sorry =/ well, I won't try to flirt with you then. but you know if you ever wanted to talk about whatever, I'm here and on all the other sites we're friends on to talk or listen or whatever.

[jco3]

Get a girl sloppy drunk. That's what my friend used to do before he got one of them pregnant.

yaaa sounds good...

[DaveZeroZero]

I'm sorry =/ well, I won't try to flirt with you then. but you know if you ever wanted to talk about whatever, I'm here and on all the other sites we're friends on to talk or listen or whatever.
Haha, thanks =]

[HelpMeSleep]

I know.
haha. of course.

Haha, thanks =]
anytime.

[jco3]

maybe you just haven't found the right girl?

this is true, thanks.

[Closet Fan]

maybe you just haven't found the right girl?

this is true, thanks.

You haven't found the right girl because you haven't been searching in the right places. Follow that trail of booze, vomit, and vaginal secretions and you'll get laid in no time.

[DaveZeroZero]

You haven't found the right girl because you haven't been searching in the right places. Follow that trail of booze, vomit, and vaginal secretions and you'll get laid in no time.
mmm... vaginal secretions... :lick:

[HelpMeSleep]

mmm... vaginal secretions... :lick:
mmm. tasty. :lick:

hey, was your other thread somewhat serious? the internet IRL one?

[jco3]

You haven't found the right girl because you haven't been searching in the right places. Follow that trail of booze, vomit, and vaginal secretions and you'll get laid in no time.

You're so wise, how at the ripe young age of 20 do you know so much, about the art of the much celebrated one-night stand? You must have been a part of many of these one night love fests. is this true?

[Closet Fan]

mmm... vaginal secretions... :lick:

Yeah, they're definitely my favorite kind of secretions.

[sdbrown]

I don't understand why women like being around assholes.
In my experience, because then they get to talk about how big of an asshole their boyfriend was to them last night when out with their girlfriends and their friends get worried and give them attention which is all they really want in the first place.

I usually just grab them from their waste and lift them up
sounds kinky.

picking up girls is like the best ego booster ever.

cept the kind of girl that would hook up with me after just meeting me at a bar/club isnt the kind of girl i would want to be with. which is a bit of a contradiction, hence my problems in life.
ding ding ding.

OP: if you are just looking for a one night stand as described above, go to any bar with american girls and say something cute like "bum" or "loo" and they will probably screw your brains out.

[DaveZeroZero]

mmm. tasty. :lick:

hey, was your other thread somewhat serious? the internet IRL one?
It was indeed.

[Closet Fan]

You're so wise, how at the ripe young age of 20 do you know so much, about the art of the much celebrated one-night stand? You must have been a part of many of these one night love fests. is this true?

Well, because I haven't just been around the block. I live around the block.

[HelpMeSleep]

It was indeed.
aww. I assumed it was just for the lolz at first, but then I saw your facebook status and what you said before and I thought it might be otherwise =/ who are you alienating IRL?

[DaveZeroZero]

aww. I assumed it was just for the lolz at first, but then I saw your facebook status and what you said before and I thought it might be otherwise =/ who are you alienating IRL?
friends and mother.

[kwsqd]

hey, you're from reading!
hey, you're from pottsville!

[HelpMeSleep]

friends and mother.
aww, not good =/ if it makes you feel any better, I did that with my parents yesterday when they came over to my little house. and even better, afterward my dad informed me that they had spent the last 3 hours looking at new cars for me and he HAD been planning on taking me to go look at some right after that =[

[DaveZeroZero]

aww, not good =/ if it makes you feel any better, I did that with my parents yesterday when they came over to my little house. and even better, afterward my dad informed me that they had spent the last 3 hours looking at new cars for me and he HAD been planning on taking me to go look at some right after that =[
Aww, that sucks =/

[jco3]

Well, because I haven't just been around the block. I live around the block.

so you're basically having constant one night stands? sweet.

[HelpMeSleep]

Aww, that sucks =/
yeah, not my finest moment =/ but see, you and I are more like than we'd ever want to be. lol except I'm definitely not laughing

[DaveZeroZero]

yeah, not my finest moment =/ but see, you and I are more like than we'd ever want to be. lol except I'm definitely not laughing
lololololol

I'm not laughing, either.

[HelpMeSleep]

lololololol

I'm not laughing, either.
yay for both sucking at life at the moment. so why is your mom not your biggest fan right now?

[DaveZeroZero]

yay for both sucking at life at the moment. so why is your mom not your biggest fan right now?
Because I got into an argument with her over something trivial earlier haha.

[screamoutmyname]

hey, you're from pottsville!

i will be driving through your town on my way back to philadelphia tonight.

[HelpMeSleep]

Because I got into an argument with her over something trivial earlier haha.
ahh. and what about your friends?

[DaveZeroZero]

ahh. and what about your friends?
Oh, I'm always engaging in arguments over nothing with them.

[Closet Fan]

so you're basically having constant one night stands? sweet.

Hey, I find that remark to be rather offensive and misleading!

I sleep with more than enough women during daytime hours, although, I'll admit, they're more difficult to persuade. Chicks that drink in the daytime are usually alcoholics. FACT: eating out the vagina of an alcoholic female can cause cirrhosis of the liver. Between you and me, I'm not trying to get my liver all fucked up, you know? So, I stay away from the chicks who stumble in and out of bars while the sun's up.

"So, if you don't fuck alcoholic women during the day, how do you manage to get laid in the daytime?"

Roofies.

[HelpMeSleep]

Oh, I'm always engaging in arguments over nothing with them.
oh, hmm. well, in the case of your mom at least, if it was something trivial, you should just apologize. I think I'm going to text my parents and my sister and apologize in a little bit. I hate doing it though since I'm a stubborn cunt lol =/

[kwsqd]

i will be driving through your town on my way back to philadelphia tonight.
try not to get shot!

[kwsqd]

oh, hmm. well, in the case of your mom at least, if it was something trivial, you should just apologize. I think I'm going to text my parents and my sister and apologize in a little bit. I hate doing it though since I'm a stubborn cunt lol =/
hellooooooo

[HelpMeSleep]

hellooooooo
why hello!! how was your weekend?

[Greg]

haha! thank you! =] it's cool. like I said before, I'm crazy, I overanalyze. I'm self-conscious and slightly on the defensive. it's probably more my fault than yours. :-)



it's all good. i am the same way at times so i understand and should have thought of that. all that matters is that we agree that you are cute. ha!

[kwsqd]

why hello!! how was your weekend?
my weekend was uhhh interesting. how about you?

[HelpMeSleep]

it's all good. i am the same way at times so i understand and should have thought of that. all that matters is that we agree that you are cute. ha!
haha. I dunno if I agree with that particular statement, but you can think that if you want =]

my weekend was uhhh interesting. how about you?
hmm.. that sounds... well, interesting lol. mine was alright. had some good bits and some lame bits. I had a headache and didn't feel good last night so I stayed in and watched the sex and the city movie 1.5 times lol.

[Greg]

haha. I dunno if I agree with that particular statement, but you can think that if you want =]


hmm.. that sounds... well, interesting lol. mine was alright. had some good bits and some lame bits. I had a headache and didn't feel good last night so I stayed in and watched the sex and the city movie 1.5 times lol.
well i would say it is a true statement and you should agree with me haha but anyways you are cool girl and don't let anyone tell you different

[kwsqd]

haha. I dunno if I agree with that particular statement, but you can think that if you want =]


hmm.. that sounds... well, interesting lol. mine was alright. had some good bits and some lame bits. I had a headache and didn't feel good last night so I stayed in and watched the sex and the city movie 1.5 times lol.
well actually yesterday was a really good day and today has just been really boring. friday was fun though.. I guess!

1.5 times? what?

[HelpMeSleep]

well i would say it is a true statement and you should agree with me haha but anyways you are cool girl and don't let anyone tell you different
haha. fair enough! =] and thank you, that's really nice!! :-)

well actually yesterday was a really good day and today has just been really boring. friday was fun though.. I guess!

1.5 times? what?
yeah, my friday was pretty good and most of yesterday was boring. I haven't really done anything today but I'm going out in a little bit, I have yet to get dressed though lol.

haha yeah! after it ended, it just started over again and I was on ap and stuff, so I just let it go and watched the first hour or so of the movie over again lol.

[brandnew=love]

IMO you are taking the internet too seriously here.
No, I just don't think my friend likes the feeling of being called easy...

[Greg]

No, I just don't think my friend likes the feeling of being called easy...
hey bud it's all good. she and i are cool with it. it was a misunderstanding. i respect you defending her though. but it wasnt necessary here, thats all.

[brandnew=love]

hey bud it's all good. she and i are cool with it. it was a misunderstanding. i respect you defending her though. but it wasnt necessary here, thats all.
lol okay... I just don't like the feeling of someone talking bad about my friends...

[screamoutmyname]

try not to get shot!

haha i made it safely. thank you for your concern.

[James_Brand]

I didn't read the whole thread. But I figured I'd tell you what works for me.

I've been using a line for a couple years now that works pretty well. It shows confidence and a sense of humor in one simple story. I've only ever used it at bars, so I don't know if it works with chicks that haven't been drinking.
You walk up to a girl and say "Would you like to hear a story."
Most will respond with an awkward "ok" or "sure".
You place your hand on their closest shoulder and say "once upon a time there was a frog and he was sitting right here."
Then you move your hand around there back and place your hand on there other shoulder while saying "Then he hopped over here."
Then you just put your arm around their shoulder and say "You know what, it's really not that good of a story. My name is <name>."
Usually you'll get laugh and an introduction. It's a good in, because like I said, it shows a sense of humor and some confidence. From this point on it's up to you. Be smart, but not condescendingly smart. Be funny, but not goofy. Keep your focus on her but don't ignore the people she's with. If her friends approve of you, then you are good.

[mht]

K9NZrzEn6HQ

[DaveZeroZero]

I didn't read the whole thread. But I figured I'd tell you what works for me.

I've been using a line for a couple years now that works pretty well. It shows confidence and a sense of humor in one simple story. I've only ever used it at bars, so I don't know if it works with chicks that haven't been drinking.
You walk up to a girl and say "Would you like to hear a story."
Most will respond with an awkward "ok" or "sure".
You place your hand on their closest shoulder and say "once upon a time there was a frog and he was sitting right here."
Then you move your hand around there back and place your hand on there other shoulder while saying "Then he hopped over here."
Then you just put your arm around their shoulder and say "You know what, it's really not that good of a story. My name is <name>."
Usually you'll get laugh and an introduction. It's a good in, because like I said, it shows a sense of humor and some confidence. From this point on it's up to you. Be smart, but not condescendingly smart. Be funny, but not goofy. Keep your focus on her but don't ignore the people she's with. If her friends approve of you, then you are good.
Thanks for the tip =]

[HelpMeSleep]

I haven't fucked anyone in what seems like forever.

Oh, wait, it IS forever.
I just did. :-)

[DaveZeroZero]

I just did. :-)
You did? Who?

[HelpMeSleep]

You did? Who?
my ex. except he had hernia surgery a couple weeks ago so after he was sort of in pain and stuff so he went home to go get some vicodin and then come back because he was going to spend the night. but then some cunt cop pulled him over on the way back to my house and told him his eyes looked really bloodshot and made him take a sobriety test and that was the last I heard from so I'm rather concerned. I should have taken him home to get the stuff =/

[James_Brand]

Thanks for the tip =]
Anytime. You'd be surprised at how many girls actually go for something like that.

[DaveZeroZero]

my ex. except he had hernia surgery a couple weeks ago so after he was sort of in pain and stuff so he went home to go get some vicodin and then come back because he was going to spend the night. but then some cunt cop pulled him over on the way back to my house and told him his eyes looked really bloodshot and made him take a sobriety test and that was the last I heard from so I'm rather concerned. I should have taken him home to get the stuff =/
Naughty naughty :nono:

[4N6 science]

Dave how's it going with picking up girls?

[HelpMeSleep]

Naughty naughty :nono:
what's naughty about that? :shrug:
like YOU wouldn't fuck an ex who was willing?

anyway, I don't have feelings for him anymore, nor do I have any hopes of getting back together. so I'm golden. I won't get hurt, I just get laid.