View Full Version : got stabbed in the back by my best friend and the girl i was seeing this weekend
bones jones
10/27/08, 06:46 AM
walked in on them hooking up. my best friend is also my roommate and we've been best friends since we were like 6 years old. needless to say my world is upside-down right now.
i don't even know why i'm posting this here cause i'm just gonna get a bunch of "lolpwnt" responses from assholes, but sometimes you just need somewhere to vent.
leifstar
10/27/08, 07:06 AM
walked in on them hooking up. my best friend is also my roommate and we've been best friends since we were like 6 years old. needless to say my world is upside-down right now.
i don't even know why i'm posting this here cause i'm just gonna get a bunch of "lolpwnt" responses from assholes, but sometimes you just need somewhere to vent.
That's terrible man. I am sorry to hear. You try talking to him yet? Was she a serious gf? or potential one?
bones jones
10/27/08, 07:14 AM
i haven't talked to him aside from the night of where i basically blew up at him. she wasn't a serious girlfriend but the main reason for that is that we live in different states.
that dude is not your friend anymore right?
bones jones
10/27/08, 07:23 AM
i'm still trying to sort everything out in my head, but i don't see how we can possibly stay friends, no.
caress me down
10/27/08, 07:38 AM
shit man. people are assholes. did he try to give an explanation or anything
bones jones
10/27/08, 07:42 AM
shit man. people are assholes. did he try to give an explanation or anything
"i didn't know she meant that much to you" (lie)
"i really didn't think you'd react this way" (what did you think? i'd come in and high-five you?)
anamericangod
10/27/08, 07:42 AM
This same exact thing happened to me. It pretty much ruined my life.
Nothing good can come from this. Fuck apologies, fuck fixing it. Remove them both from your life as fast as possible.
Also, go Bills.
bones jones
10/27/08, 07:47 AM
This same exact thing happened to me. It pretty much ruined my life.
Nothing good can come from this. Fuck apologies, fuck fixing it. Remove them both from your life as fast as possible.
Also, go Bills.
i'm still just trying to sort everything out. i have a sweet living situation with him and i'm not sure if it's worth throwing that away. at this point my only other option would be moving back to mom's (temporarily) and at 23 that's not something i'm willing to do. also we've been friends for so long, i'm sure i'll get over it eventually and if (when we do talk) he ends up genuinely remorseful then is it really worth throwing away a 15+ year old friendship?
bones jones
10/27/08, 07:48 AM
and yes go bills even though they played like dogshit yesterday and made my weekend even worse.
anamericangod
10/27/08, 07:49 AM
i'm still just trying to sort everything out. i have a sweet living situation with him and i'm not sure if it's worth throwing that away. at this point my only other option would be moving back to mom's (temporarily) and at 23 that's not something i'm willing to do. also we've been friends for so long, i'm sure i'll get over it eventually and if (when we do talk) he ends up genuinely remorseful then is it really worth throwing away a 15+ year old friendship?
If things weren't too serious with the girl then you can probably fix things. It's still a huge dick move on his part though.
Him showing complete disregard for your feelings isn't something that should be taken lightly. Maybe you can sort it out. Usually these things are messy.
bones jones
10/27/08, 08:03 AM
If things weren't too serious with the girl then you can probably fix things. It's still a huge dick move on his part though.
Him showing complete disregard for your feelings isn't something that should be taken lightly. Maybe you can sort it out. Usually these things are messy.
at this point i have no desire to look at him, let alone talk to him. i'm sure that will change in time once things settle down some, and maybe we can preserve some sort of friendship but i don't think our relationship will ever be the same as it was before this happened.
Make friends with him, and then get him back.
Metfan615
10/27/08, 08:25 AM
That's awful dude.
bones jones
10/27/08, 08:29 AM
oh and the icing on the cake for this whole situation:
my roommate has season tickets to the patriots, so he left early sunday morning before she left and before i woke up. she left and it turned out that her car window got smashed overnight (my building has on-street parking and it's a bar street so it's not THAT uncommon) so she called me first to accuse me, which is ridiculous, but once i convinced her i didn't do it, being the world's biggest toolbox ever, i spent 3+ hours helping her clean out all the glass, i patched the window for her, and even took her to the police station to file a report.
i am an asshole.
I'm sorry man. That's terrible. Fuck her and your friend.
If he was truly your best friend he would have stabbed you in the front! :-d
oldwirehands
10/27/08, 09:25 AM
I've had something similar happen to me. It was true that the girl didn't mean much to me but that is not a legitimate excuse. I'm still friends with the dude but he broke a bond of trust that won't ever be fixed. The only reason we still can be friends is because the girl didn't mean that much to me.
I'd say you should evaluate how much that girl meant to you. If you were really into her, then I don't think you should continue this friendship.
Heart-A-Tact
10/27/08, 09:26 AM
"i didn't know she meant that much to you" (lie)
"i really didn't think you'd react this way" (what did you think? i'd come in and high-five you?)
What a crazy thing to think. I'm sorry, man. That's rough.
bones jones
10/27/08, 09:27 AM
I've had something similar happen to me. It was true that the girl didn't mean much to me but that is not a legitimate excuse. I'm still friends with the dude but he broke a bond of trust that won't ever be fixed. The only reason we still can be friends is because the girl didn't mean that much to me.
I'd say you should evaluate how much that girl meant to you. If you were really into her, then I don't think you should continue this friendship.
i was really into her. the complicated part is that she lives in new york and i live in rhode island. she's in school there and that's where her friends/family are, and i have a job and a life and friends and family here. so that wasn't going to change for the time being. we weren't going to be together until sometime down the road, if at all, but she did mean a lot to me.
bones jones
10/27/08, 09:29 AM
What a crazy thing to think. I'm sorry, man. That's rough.
the funny thing is that i said the whole "high-five" part verbatim, and then he was like "oh well i mean i don't know how i thought you'd react, but i didn't think you'd react that way..."
*crying stars*
10/27/08, 09:30 AM
I'm sorry about that; what a shitty situation. But realize: the girl obviously isn't worth going after if she decides to hook up with your best friend. Knowing that you are roommates. And best friends.
Give it a few days while things calm down. And you can always post your frustrations on AP!
oh and the icing on the cake for this whole situation:
my roommate has season tickets to the patriots, so he left early sunday morning before she left and before i woke up. she left and it turned out that her car window got smashed overnight (my building has on-street parking and it's a bar street so it's not THAT uncommon) so she called me first to accuse me, which is ridiculous, but once i convinced her i didn't do it, being the world's biggest toolbox ever, i spent 3+ hours helping her clean out all the glass, i patched the window for her, and even took her to the police station to file a report.
i am an asshole.
I can't believe she accused you.
No, you're not an asshole. You're a good guy, which says a lot.
Heart-A-Tact
10/27/08, 09:32 AM
the funny thing is that i said the whole "high-five" part verbatim, and then he was like "oh well i mean i don't know how i thought you'd react, but i didn't think you'd react that way..."
What the fuck else is left, then? Ridiculous.
Momo32T
10/27/08, 09:34 AM
walked in on them hooking up. my best friend is also my roommate and we've been best friends since we were like 6 years old. needless to say my world is upside-down right now.
i don't even know why i'm posting this here cause i'm just gonna get a bunch of "lolpwnt" responses from assholes, but sometimes you just need somewhere to vent.
In some cases I believe in the "bros before hoes" motto. But this is fucked...he doesn't deserve your friendship.
Posthardcore
10/27/08, 09:37 AM
that sucks! I know how that feels
bones jones
10/27/08, 09:37 AM
I'm sorry about that; what a shitty situation. But realize: the girl obviously isn't worth going after if she decides to hook up with your best friend. Knowing that you are roommates. And best friends.
Give it a few days while things calm down. And you can always post your frustrations on AP!
I can't believe she accused you.
No, you're not an asshole. You're a good guy, which says a lot.
or a sucker, depending on your perspective
What the fuck else is left, then? Ridiculous.
that's what i'm saying. we may talk today, it's kind of unavoidable at this point.
In some cases I believe in the "bros before hoes" motto. But this is fucked...he doesn't deserve your friendship.
i do believe in bros before hoes, which he violated.
absolutecrunnk
10/27/08, 09:39 AM
sorry to hear that man rough stuff a good friend once told me situations like this are only bad if you don't learn from them........does your friend have a hot sister or mother because payback is a bitch
lovekillsgirl
10/27/08, 09:40 AM
i've been in this situation before just slightly different.
what you really need to consider right now is which of the two means more to you, a best friend who usually has your back or a girl who you may or may not have a future with?
when i had to pick, i chose my best friend over a boy and we managed to overcome all the bullshit and we're the best of friends now more than ever.
bones jones
10/27/08, 09:47 AM
sorry to hear that man rough stuff a good friend once told me situations like this are only bad if you don't learn from them........does your friend have a hot sister or mother because payback is a bitch
ha, no. but i'm not after revenge, i'd like to think i'm better than that.
i've been in this situation before just slightly different.
what you really need to consider right now is which of the two means more to you, a best friend who usually has your back or a girl who you may or may not have a future with?
when i had to pick, i chose my best friend over a boy and we managed to overcome all the bullshit and we're the best of friends now more than ever.
i get what you're saying and he's obviously more important which is why i'm so torn up about it, but i don't understand why i should let him off the hook for betraying my trust. she's gone, she's done, i'm never speaking with her again. the situation with him is far more complicated. is it worth losing his friendship over? no. but why is it my responsibility to fix it when i did nothing wrong? if he wants to salvage a friendship, he can make an attempt, but i don't know how i'm going to trust him again.
lovekillsgirl
10/27/08, 09:50 AM
ha, no. but i'm not after revenge, i'd like to think i'm better than that.
i get what you're saying and he's obviously more important which is why i'm so torn up about it, but i don't understand why i should let him off the hook for betraying my trust. she's gone, she's done, i'm never speaking with her again. the situation with him is far more complicated. is it worth losing his friendship over? no. but why is it my responsibility to fix it when i did nothing wrong? if he wants to salvage a friendship, he can make an attempt, but i don't know how i'm going to trust him again.
oh yeah, don't let him off the hook at all. let him know how pissed you are at him and all of that jazz and, if he really truly is your best friend he'll apologize and in time everything will be fine again
bones jones
10/27/08, 09:56 AM
oh yeah, don't let him off the hook at all. let him know how pissed you are at him and all of that jazz and, if he really truly is your best friend he'll apologize and in time everything will be fine again
you're entitled to that opinion but i don't think it's that easy at all.
Heart-A-Tact
10/27/08, 10:00 AM
that's what i'm saying. we may talk today, it's kind of unavoidable at this point.
It's gotta happen sometime, right? As long as you don't expect him to do anything. Try not to let yourself down by thinking that he'll want to make amends all on his own. That probably sounds negative, but it's not meant to.
*crying stars*
10/27/08, 10:03 AM
Honestly, you have every right not to make the effort. It's not your job to fix something that you didn't break. And even if you guys mend your friendship, things aren't going to be the same, no matter how much effort you put into forgetting about this.
bones jones
10/27/08, 10:07 AM
It's gotta happen sometime, right? As long as you don't expect him to do anything. Try not to let yourself down by thinking that he'll want to make amends all on his own. That probably sounds negative, but it's not meant to.
we live together in a small condo, like i said, it's pretty unavoidable. we have our respective bedrooms but the rest of the place is more or less wide open. i asked a mutual friend to come over this afternoon around when we'd both get home from work so that if we do talk, things don't get out of hand.
Honestly, you have every right not to make the effort. It's not your job to fix something that you didn't break. And even if you guys mend your friendship, things aren't going to be the same, no matter how much effort you put into forgetting about this.
it just sucks cause he really is like a brother to me. in fact, i have a real brother that i have no relationship with. this friend is more family to me than my actual brother. of course i don't want to end our friendship...we have all the same friends, we live together, there are so many factors to consider. but yeah, it will never be the same.
thursday8605
10/27/08, 10:11 AM
man your weekend got worse, the bills lost too :-(
Heart-A-Tact
10/27/08, 10:25 AM
we live together in a small condo, like i said, it's pretty unavoidable. we have our respective bedrooms but the rest of the place is more or less wide open. i asked a mutual friend to come over this afternoon around when we'd both get home from work so that if we do talk, things don't get out of hand.
Good thinking. Good luck, man. Hope it goes decently.
lovekillsgirl
10/27/08, 10:26 AM
all else i can say is just good luck dude and hopefully it will all work itself out in the long run
Chris Immunity
10/27/08, 10:28 AM
This same exact thing happened to me. It pretty much ruined my life.
Nothing good can come from this. Fuck apologies, fuck fixing it. Remove them both from your life as fast as possible.
/thread.
i dont think anything else can be said
bones jones
10/27/08, 10:33 AM
Good thinking. Good luck, man. Hope it goes decently.
it's pretty much going to be me ripping him apart. honestly, i think he's going to take it like a man. i do think he knows he messed up, i'm just not sure how sincere he is about being remorseful.
all else i can say is just good luck dude and hopefully it will all work itself out in the long run
i'm skeptical.
/thread.
i dont think anything else can be said
i really wish it was as simple as that.
Heart-A-Tact
10/27/08, 10:40 AM
it's pretty much going to be me ripping him apart. honestly, i think he's going to take it like a man. i do think he knows he messed up, i'm just not sure how sincere he is about being remorseful.
Well, he had it coming.
chronomic
10/27/08, 10:46 AM
I had one of my best friends whom I also used to live with start dating my girlfriend of over 3 and a half years pretty much immediately after we broke up. Needless to say they are both completely cut, no chance at forgiveness ever.
the best part though is that i have some sweet real friends who've got my back with the whole thing who have also cut them out. AND she's a bulimic, anorexic cutter now...which just does wonders to my morale :) haha
I'm just fine, you'll be just fine. I'm sorry it had to happen to you though.
caress me down
10/27/08, 10:46 AM
"i didn't know she meant that much to you" (lie)
"i really didn't think you'd react this way" (what did you think? i'd come in and high-five you?)
wow. fuck him. and her too. no one needs people like that in their lives. it's just un needed stress
(which leads to premature graying and balding)
chasingsafety
10/27/08, 11:52 AM
what does this girl look like?
bones jones
10/27/08, 11:57 AM
she's cute, what does that matter
brings back memories, i got my revenge.
don't forgive, never forget.
bones jones
10/27/08, 11:59 AM
i'm a little old for "revenge"
revenge is worthless. take the high road.
anamericangod
10/27/08, 12:14 PM
I had one of my best friends whom I also used to live with start dating my girlfriend of over 3 and a half years pretty much immediately after we broke up. Needless to say they are both completely cut, no chance at forgiveness ever.
the best part though is that i have some sweet real friends who've got my back with the whole thing who have also cut them out. AND she's a bulimic, anorexic cutter now...which just does wonders to my morale :) haha
I'm just fine, you'll be just fine. I'm sorry it had to happen to you though.
This was one of the best parts of the situation. Having everyone else tel me that they are obviously shitty people and that I'm better off without them. It was a shitty situation, but that helped.
4N6 science
10/27/08, 12:17 PM
Sometimes revenge is sweet, though not in all circumstances.
I didn't actually read the original post. I just saw ken's post.
i'm a little old for "revenge"
i was 17.
bones jones
10/27/08, 12:20 PM
This was one of the best parts of the situation. Having everyone else tel me that they are obviously shitty people and that I'm better off without them. It was a shitty situation, but that helped.
i have a feeling a lot of my friends will either a) not want to get involved because they're friends of us both or b) chalk it up to just "chris being chris"
xshady121
10/27/08, 12:21 PM
This same exact thing happened to me. It pretty much ruined my life.
Nothing good can come from this. Fuck apologies, fuck fixing it. Remove them both from your life as fast as possible.
Also, go Bills.
qft.
anamericangod
10/27/08, 12:22 PM
i have a feeling a lot of my friends will either a) not want to get involved because they're friends of us both or b) chalk it up to just "chris being chris"
Then it sounds like you have a lot of shitty friends.
jimjam32
10/27/08, 12:24 PM
walked in on them hooking up. my best friend is also my roommate and we've been best friends since we were like 6 years old. needless to say my world is upside-down right now.
i don't even know why i'm posting this here cause i'm just gonna get a bunch of "lolpwnt" responses from assholes, but sometimes you just need somewhere to vent.
i'm really sorry to hear man. my girlfriend of a year and a half just dumped me. i cant imagine being cheated on.
bones jones
10/27/08, 12:25 PM
Then it sounds like you have a lot of shitty friends.
eh, that's kind of hard to say. if i was in their shoes and two friends of mine were having a conflict like this, i can't necessarily say i'd drop the guilty party if they didn't do anything to me directly.
bones jones
10/27/08, 12:29 PM
i was once involved in something like this. my friends girlfriend was hitting on me a lot, and i had gotten pretty distant with my friend. he didnt have the internet and i never really taled on the phone and it was summertime. so we werent really talking, but his gf talked to me.
anyways she told me they had broken up, i hooked up with her. (stupid) he called me crying and telling me how much he hated me
we got over it and hes one of my best friends now.
women are evil
entirely different circumstances
jimjam32
10/27/08, 12:30 PM
entirely different circumstances
true. but maybe you can be friends with him. maybe not. we hated each other a while
Miss Heartcore
10/27/08, 03:53 PM
the funny thing is that i said the whole "high-five" part verbatim, and then he was like "oh well i mean i don't know how i thought you'd react, but i didn't think you'd react that way..."
Oh I've heard this before between guys and it usually doesn't end well. I'm pretty sure that they always know how much the girl means to you, they just want to test the waters for themselves.
Terrible.
Sorry this happened to you.
pilot_light_out
10/27/08, 04:40 PM
this thread kinda killed my high
bones jones
10/27/08, 08:15 PM
so we talked, and he seems genuinely upset about it. he actually said my reaction and the things i said made him want to change certain aspects of who he is. he understands that it's going to take some time but hopefully down the road i'll forgive him and we can get past it.
deathbatgurl
10/28/08, 05:12 PM
walked in on them hooking up. my best friend is also my roommate and we've been best friends since we were like 6 years old. needless to say my world is upside-down right now.
i don't even know why i'm posting this here cause i'm just gonna get a bunch of "lolpwnt" responses from assholes, but sometimes you just need somewhere to vent.
that must suck.
give it some time, you'll figure things out eventually...
theguilt engine
10/28/08, 05:14 PM
walked in on them hooking up. my best friend is also my roommate and we've been best friends since we were like 6 years old. needless to say my world is upside-down right now.
i don't even know why i'm posting this here cause i'm just gonna get a bunch of "lolpwnt" responses from assholes, but sometimes you just need somewhere to vent.
sometimes i wonder if this could ever to happen to me. i highly doubt it after 2 1/2 years. my girl's close with both of my best friends, but i don't think it could ever happen.
Demonic_101
10/28/08, 05:53 PM
well that is shitty of your bf doin that shit to you after a whole childhood together. how owuld he react if you did that to him? he is an asshole and the girl, she would of at least thought of you and not gone through with it if you had meant "something" you meant something to her. she is just a whore. she is in another state. no tellin, she was prolly messin with ppl up there too.
Kassie09
10/28/08, 06:11 PM
I'm sorry, I'm sure you deserve much better than both of them, I hope you made them both feel terrible.
bones jones
10/28/08, 06:23 PM
i'm taking the high road
faithintheknife
10/28/08, 09:14 PM
i don't care how long you have been friends. if he did it once he'll do it again. just become distant. you can just be like buddy buddy.
fadedmemories
10/28/08, 09:16 PM
Never try and make amends. If they did it once, they'll probably do it again
Exsanguination
10/28/08, 11:43 PM
The same exact thing happened to me today.
I completely understand your pain and dilemma.
firecrackaaa!
10/29/08, 03:55 AM
oh and the icing on the cake for this whole situation:
my roommate has season tickets to the patriots, so he left early sunday morning before she left and before i woke up. she left and it turned out that her car window got smashed overnight (my building has on-street parking and it's a bar street so it's not THAT uncommon) so she called me first to accuse me, which is ridiculous, but once i convinced her i didn't do it, being the world's biggest toolbox ever, i spent 3+ hours helping her clean out all the glass, i patched the window for her, and even took her to the police station to file a report.
i am an asshole.
As asshole? You are a great guy, from the looks of it.
sometimes i wonder if this could ever to happen to me. i highly doubt it after 2 1/2 years. my girl's close with both of my best friends, but i don't think it could ever happen.
If it does, you let me know, and Caity and I will come kick her butt.
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