Heres Looking At You, Kid (lyrics and mp3)

[beau blood rush]

here we go, the songs unmixed so the vocals are guna sound wierd in places and we still gotta add a few more harmonies.
wrote this song pretty quickly about my gf. didn't think it would turn into what i think is a pretty great song
definitely one of my favorites outta the ones we've done.
let me know what you think.

Here's Looking At You, Kid (http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?qfa2njgzzmg)



I'm all for image, but i don't want to see you do your hair in my review mirror.
I'm pretentious, vicious, and surreptitious. With words like a well dressed weapon.
Another cheap shot in the back of the head, another trend that i regret.
Tonight's getting late, and i haven't slept for days.

So slow down darling and read between the lines like i read you
no i'll never get over you
so spin me around, I'm down.
I've been sitting out the chance to dance with you for long enough

I love the way she writes me poetry, far better than i could, so I'm told.
Open my eyes, she's sleeping off the kiss i slipped, next to me.
Today i will, wear a smile.

So take a risk and take her wrist and lead her to the dance floor.
Under fluorescent lights to bedroom eyes.
Who knows, you might fall in love tonight

[fishingthe_sky]

"So take a risk and take her wrist" is a nice little internal rhyme.

"With words like a well dressed weapon" is an abstraction that doesn't make sense, though.

[beau blood rush]

that line doesn't make any sence by itself it relies on the two lines prior and after it

I'm pretentious, vicious and surreptitious

"with words like a well dressed weapon" (which says in what way "i am" pretentious, vicious and surreptitious)

with the next line "another cheap shot in the back of the head" describes what it results in

did you download the song man?

[fishingthe_sky]

"Vicious," "weapon," and "cheap shot" all clearly work together to create an image. I'm guessing "pretentious" and "well-dressed" can go along together, though I'm not sure how exactly being well-dressed necessarily shows pretension. I don't see how "surreptitious" really works here.

My issue lies with the "well-dressed weapon," which is the abstraction I'm talking about. The word "dress" has no definition that involves weaponry (I suppose it could work as a neologism for a bladed weapon, but definitely not for a firearm), and there's nothing in the lines that involves attire, which is the only other way it could work as an image.

Sorry for picking apart the line.

[beau blood rush]

no problem man, surreptitious goes with cheap shot (as in underhanded and sneaky)

and the weapon really doesn't relate to a firearm, i used it as a metaphor for the words
so the actual thing the words are like doesn't make sense as one thing, its saying "my" words are well dressed (large-vocab, well-spoken) and then a weapon because there used in an aggressive way

so yeah, theres no such thing as a well dressed weapon, but there is such thing as words like a well dressed weapon


everyone should download this though
it's my weakest song lyrically (it realies on the honesty of them, and the music, melodies)
but its a sweet song in my opinion.

check it out

[Illuminate]

here we go, the songs unmixed so the vocals are guna sound wierd in places and we still gotta add a few more harmonies.
wrote this song pretty quickly about my gf. didn't think it would turn into what i think is a pretty great song
definitely one of my favorites outta the ones we've done.
let me know what you think.

Here's Looking At You, Kid (http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?qfa2njgzzmg)



I'm all for image, but i don't want to see you do your hair in my review mirror.
I'm pretentious, vicious, and surreptitious. With words like a well dressed weapon.
Another cheap shot in the back of the head, another trend that i regret.
Tonight's getting late, and i haven't slept for days.

So slow down darling and read between the lines like i read you
no i'll never get over you
so spin me around, I'm down.
I've been sitting out the chance to dance with you for long enough

I love the way she writes me poetry, far better than i could, so I'm told.
Open my eyes, she's sleeping off the kiss i slipped, next to me.
Today i will, wear a smile.

So take a risk and take her wrist and lead her to the dance floor.
Under fluorescent lights to bedroom eyes.
Who knows, you might fall in love tonight

Casablanca- catchy.

[beau blood rush]

yeah after i finished writing the song i was up late and Casablanca was on, the whole film (although far better than any song i could write) fits perfectly with the theme of the song, and here, looking at you kid bring THE romantic line in film it was a no-brainer.

and if you're saying the songs catchy thanks man :]

[patpratt]

Here's looking at you, kiddo.

[a speedo model]

I'm all for image, but i don't want to see you do your hair in my review mirror.
I'm pretentious, vicious, and surreptitious. With words like a well dressed weapon.
Another cheap shot in the back of the head, another trend that i regret.
Tonight's getting late, and i haven't slept for days.

So slow down darling and read between the lines like i read you
no i'll never get over you
so spin me around, I'm down.
I've been sitting out the chance to dance with you for long enough

I love the way she writes me poetry, far better than i could, so I'm told.
Open my eyes, she's sleeping off the kiss i slipped, next to me.
Today i will, wear a smile.

So take a risk and take her wrist and lead her to the dance floor.
Under fluorescent lights to bedroom eyes.
Who knows, you might fall in love tonight
The lyrics are boring and uninteresting in their imagery. Not terrible, but the imagery is nothing new, it's all been done before. Nothing stood out, nothing caught my attention. Felt like I'd already read it.

As to the actually song: Vocals reminded of another band, not one I liked, but I forget who. The guitar effects felt cheap. Maybe post it when it's mixed so I can give an actual critique. Just wasn't a fan of this. Simple pop isn't my thing anymore, maybe when I was 16.

[beau blood rush]

yeah the best way to judge a song i think is to judge it on what you think its effect might be on a target audience, obviously your age group isn't really what we're going for.
but yeh i agree about yr comment on the lyrics, they are my weakest imagery wise.
i think the only strength of them is the honest which i think comes through in the song.

i wrote this song in attempt to write one of those "our song" song's

you know the ones that you choose when your 16 and with your first girlfriend, and name it "our song"

that's what i was going for here, so i didnt go for anything to complicated, which is usually my style

[fishingthe_sky]

no problem man, surreptitious goes with cheap shot (as in underhanded and sneaky)

and the weapon really doesn't relate to a firearm, i used it as a metaphor for the words
so the actual thing the words are like doesn't make sense as one thing, its saying "my" words are well dressed (large-vocab, well-spoken) and then a weapon because there used in an aggressive way

so yeah, theres no such thing as a well dressed weapon, but there is such thing as words like a well dressed weapon


everyone should download this though
it's my weakest song lyrically (it realies on the honesty of them, and the music, melodies)
but its a sweet song in my opinion.

check it out

I suppose I see the surreptitious thing, but I wouldn't necessarily jump to the synonymic conclusion you do. In my mind, "stealthy" does not mean "contemptible action" (a cheap shot being such), or at least does not immediately come to my mind.

There isn't such thing as words like a well-dressed weapon, honestly. "Well-dressed" words used like weapons is what you're saying it means, which is not the same as the metaphor you use. The firearm imagery is built into the metaphor, which compels my deconstruction of it. That doesn't mean I didn't get the metaphor you were trying to use; it's just an abstraction of two things in a way that doesn't necessarily make sense.

[beau blood rush]

"Well-dressed" words used like weapons is what you're saying it means,

yeah that's how i mean it, but i needed to put it back in the form it is in so it works in the melody.
hopefully people will just get the imagery i intended

[GEMmm]

people will get the message you intended :P
thats exactly how i interpreted it tbh...

With words like a well dressed weapon


meaning the words are like something potentially dangerous (a "weapon") but are disguised or are made less obviously harmful (well dressed)

(:

i love this song by the way! tis awesome :)
the opening line has been my msn name for days xD

xx x xx

[Chiefgango]

people will get the message you intended :P
thats exactly how i interpreted it tbh...

With words like a well dressed weapon


meaning the words are like something potentially dangerous (a "weapon") but are disguised or are made less obviously harmful (well dressed)

(:

i love this song by the way! tis awesome :)
the opening line has been my msn name for days xD

xx x xx

oh dear gemma, oh dear :P

and beau knows my opinion on this song :)

[Nickohtine]

I havent listened to the song yet, but the lyrics were alright. I dunno why, but for me it was quite strong in terms of imagery...
The lyrics kinda reminded me of something Bayside would do...

[goodnews]

The title was cliche to begin with, but the Gaslight Anthem already have a song by the same name.

[beau blood rush]

Didn't realise, i don't even know who the gaslight anthem are.

And I don't really care that the title was cliche it fit the story of the song better than any other line could.

i didn't know you we're on this forum chiefgango