Lazarus

[OveriseFan]

Well, I didn't make a thread for this before, because I still feel like it's "unfinished", but since my friend really likes the song and wants to record it, I'm kind of "forced" to finish it. I'd appreciate advice.

This song originally started as my attempt at writing a song from the perspective of a dying man who was afraid to die, not because of the unknown or his own selfishness, but because he was worried about who would take care of his wife/lover. "Who will lie with her when I'm gone?" It's not morphed into a new idea, which I'm not sure how comfortable I am discussing. Suffice it to say that I've made myself into this dying man, making this song more personal.

Here's a link to a (shitty) recording, for those who don't have it yet: http://www.mediafire.com/?qnkudqlmzge

The bridge-instrumental will not suck when I actually record it. I just wasn't sure exactly what I was doing. Haha. Hopefully I'll be able to find a harmonica in Eb and can bust out a singing solo. Otherwise it will be piano, or (maybe?) I'll get a friend to play violin.

Lazarus

Lazarus, Lazarus, teach me all of your tricks because I am so scared to die.
If I had just one more hour to say goodbye, things could be just fine.
She lies awake, and waits for the day to break.
She hasn't cried; she's never been the type.
She's still at home.

Who will lie with her when I'm gone?
Who will lie with her when I'm gone?

Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, three days ain't long enough so teach me how to rise.
The weekend has come and gone, and days and nights has forty one.
So I hold my key, and she will forget about me.
It's been a month, and I just don't have the guts
To go back home.

Who will lie with her when I'm gone?
Who will lie with her when I'm gone?

Who will lie with her when I'm gone?
Who will lie with her when I'm gone?

Oh there's a gravestone it's waiting for you right next to me. Right next to me.

[a speedo model]

I'll say it again, I actually love this song. It's simple, nothing amazing or mind-blowing. But I love the melody and the feeling of it as you sing, makes me want to hum along or something. Well done, record a better version! haha

[OveriseFan]

Haha. It's coming! We just need to find a way to steal our school's nice vocal mic. Haha.

Question for you Josiah: Do you feel any place where female vocals could fit in? I'm not feeling it anywhere, but I want her to sing on some of my stuff. I'll have to finish up some other songs and ask her to sing on those.

[de la sympathie]

James, this is really catchy. Downloaded a while ago, never got a chance to listen till now. But I like it a lot, seriously. I never would have thought of this kind of tune for these kind of lyrics, but I enjoy it a lot. Nice work :)

[a speedo model]

Haha. It's coming! We just need to find a way to steal our school's nice vocal mic. Haha.

Question for you Josiah: Do you feel any place where female vocals could fit in? I'm not feeling it anywhere, but I want her to sing on some of my stuff. I'll have to finish up some other songs and ask her to sing on those.
Hmmmm, I dunno. Have her sing back-up to the part "who will lie with her when I'm gone" and then the last time or so, have her sing it herself? No idea, haha.

[OveriseFan]

Hmmmm, I dunno. Have her sing back-up to the part "who will lie with her when I'm gone" and then the last time or so, have her sing it herself? No idea, haha.

Hm. I like that musical imagery. Perhaps.

I'll see what she thinks. It's her recording, in many ways, after all.

James, this is really catchy. Downloaded a while ago, never got a chance to listen till now. But I like it a lot, seriously. I never would have thought of this kind of tune for these kind of lyrics, but I enjoy it a lot. Nice work :)

Thank you so much, Shauna.

By the way, PM me your address so that when I finish a tape I can mail it to you. Maybe I'll draw a picture too. (I can't draw very well, be warned.)

[vandalsandquinn]

James I do enjoy this. don't be bashful you goose

[OveriseFan]

James I do enjoy this. don't be bashful you goose

...

Are geese especially bashful?

[TK]

I enjoyed the song, it kind of brightened my day. Good job James.

[vandalsandquinn]

...

Are geese especially bashful?
They're only the most bashful animals in all of nature. You're a poet, you should know this.

[de la sympathie]

Hm. I like that musical imagery. Perhaps.

I'll see what she thinks. It's her recording, in many ways, after all.



Thank you so much, Shauna.

By the way, PM me your address so that when I finish a tape I can mail it to you. Maybe I'll draw a picture too. (I can't draw very well, be warned.)

Done!

[screamoutmyname]

dude, those lyrics are fantastic!

i'm downloading the mp3 from mediafire now, but i can't see how it would let me down.

[cris545]

James, I never told you what I thought of this. I really like this, much much better than the other two songs I heard before.

[bootsydan]

I haven't heard the song yet, but I will try to by the end of the night.

I like lyrics of the first verse, chorus and last line.

The second verse however doesn't do it for me. The first two lines are good, but remind me too much of Jesus by Brand New. And then I don't understand why a dying person wouldnt have the guts to back home. I think there is either a way you can make that theme clearer/stronger... or write something different.

In general, pretty good though.

[bootsydan]

Ok I just listened to the new Ace Enders demo. Then I listened to this.

And I have to say that this is quite a bit better than the new Ace demo. I enjoyed it. Can hear it being something special with a full band behind it.

[ArTkY_]

It's a good song, you sexy bastard.

[OveriseFan]

I haven't heard the song yet, but I will try to by the end of the night.

I like lyrics of the first verse, chorus and last line.

The second verse however doesn't do it for me. The first two lines are good, but remind me too much of Jesus by Brand New. And then I don't understand why a dying person wouldnt have the guts to back home. I think there is either a way you can make that theme clearer/stronger... or write something different.

In general, pretty good though.

As I said, the concept morphed as I wrote it. It's not about a dying man, and not from the perspective of the dying man anymore. Sorry if that wasn't clear (in fact, it wasn't.).

I agree with you though.

Ok I just listened to the new Ace Enders demo. Then I listened to this.

And I have to say that this is quite a bit better than the new Ace demo. I enjoyed it. Can hear it being something special with a full band behind it.

And wow, thank you very much. I haven't heard the new Ace Enders demo, but that still means a lot.

Edit: It's an Obama-inspired song. That explains it. Not that I endorse either candidate - and admittedly, if I could vote, I'd probably vote Obama, but every "Obama"-inspired song I've heard is just awful, and not at all on par with whatever artist's catalogue.

[bootsydan]

Edit: It's an Obama-inspired song. That explains it. Not that I endorse either candidate - and admittedly, if I could vote, I'd probably vote Obama, but every "Obama"-inspired song I've heard is just awful, and not at all on par with whatever artist's catalogue.

True. But I don't even think its that. Just the sentimental melody and sentimental piano. A lot of his newer stuff is similar, and as much as I love Ace I just can't bring myself to think 'this is good music'.

[lew_1987]

"She lies awake, and waits for the day to break.
She hasn't cried; she's never been the type.
She's still at home. "

That bit was the weakest. I liked the first line, but it almost seems as if it's in the wrong order; makes it a bit awkward too.

The rest was decent, but it does make me want to listen to the song. I'll download it now and get round to it later.

[Praetor]

Love those lyrics. Will listen to the song.

[OveriseFan]

"She lies awake, and waits for the day to break.
She hasn't cried; she's never been the type.
She's still at home. "

That bit was the weakest. I liked the first line, but it almost seems as if it's in the wrong order; makes it a bit awkward too.

The rest was decent, but it does make me want to listen to the song. I'll download it now and get round to it later.

Yeah, they're not great, but the best I've written in a while. However, a few people have said they like the lyrics more having heard the song? I hope the trend continues...

[lew_1987]

Finally got round to listening to the song. Best thing I've heard from you.