Separation Thread

[Signatoria]

So my parents are breaking up.
I wasn't expecting it. There was no fighting, no yelling. They just calmly sat us down last week and told us things weren't working.
I'm not messed up about it, of course it's sad but I'm accepting it. But still, it's hard to comprehend. I never, ever thought this would happen. EVER.
I don't really need advice, I was just wondering what you guys thought on the subject. Is it better for the family, are things a lot harder, are there any benefits?
Thanks, guys.

[caityconundrum]

i'd say it's different from family to family. obviously no one that responds to this knows whether or not your parents will be better off apart, but if it's not working then maybe it is time to try something different.

my parents have been on the verge of divorce for almost as long as i can remember. they constantly try to make it work because they believe life is better together, but it really depends on each person's situation i think.

it's good that you're taking it well though. just try to stay positive and be supportive of your parents making the decision they think is best for your family.

[Signatoria]

Awesome, support. Okay *writes down*
:-)

[HelpMeSleep]

my parents got in a fight and my mom kicked my dad out for a few weeks my junior year of high school. overall, those few weeks weren't too bad for me personally. selfishly, because I got to get m way a lot and I was allowed to do whatever it wanted. but my dad was really torn up about it. every time I saw him, he was sort of crying and it broke my heart. that was the hardest part.

they worked things out so I don't really know how it goes in the long run, but keep your chin up. I would think that if they fight a lot and it's hard to deal with, it'd be better for them to be apart and to not have that in the house. but it varies from situation to situation. good luck.

[firecrackaaa!]

My parents got divorced when I was four, so I've dealt with seperated parents for a long long time.

Whatever you do, don't let them put you in the middle. My parents do that to my sister and I quite often. Don't be a messenger back and forth between them, and don't let them use you to see what the other one thinks or says. I don't know your situation, so I don't know if that would happen, but it sucks. Don't let them make you grow up faster than you need to either.

Benefits, though! If they live in separate houses, that means two Christmases, two birthdays, etc. Which is always fun.

I'm sure you'll be alright, but if you ever need to talk we're all here :)

[brandnew=love]

well my parents don't really care much for eachother... and no one is ever home... but don't let it get to you, maybe things will be better this way and they're still going to be there for you and we're here for you! :hug:

[deathbatgurl]

well, i know a bunch of people that have been in your situation, even though i haven't been in it myself, i know it can be hard. just look to the future, things will work out eventually

[alltimehoe93]

i can't say a lot because i don't know you or your family personally but i think that it might be better how that is versus a lot of different things that could've happened instead.
my parents fight all the time and they're together. personally, i almost wish they'd split but not really at the same time.
if that makes any sense.

[Kassie09]

Benefits: Two Christmases. Less authority and you can do what you want more.

Downsides: Everything else.

[thespearkid]

My parents are separating too. I'm sort of glad because my Mom needs to be away from him but it still sucks. A lot.

[pilot_light_out]

so here's your holiday

[Burning Star IV]

Wow. I never imagined that so many people's parents get divorced. Thank God mine are still together.

[thespearkid]

Wow. I never imagined that so many people's parents get divorced. Thank God mine are still together.
This is me up until like, two days ago.

[popdisaster00]

My parents separated (and eventually divorced) when I was in 5th grade. At the time it sucked but it was the best thing for them to do. It wasn't working, they couldn't fix it...everything turned out fine.

[caLLmEnOoNe]

my parents got separated when I was two, so I wouldn't know how that feels like. But they ended up marrying idiots. hope that doesn't happen to you.

[nkalldayyy]

i was glad when my parents got divorced.

my mom was a lot more upbeat and happy. i started to look at my parents as friends more than just authoritative figures. its a little weird when my mom and i were both dating, but it was a lot easier for her to relate to me i guess. it could be good or bad, it really depends on how you look at it.

[hero_dujour]

My parents seperated when I was about 10. When it happened, I was just a kid and I wasn't really paying attention to them, so it was a total suprise when they told me. I always hear that kids blame it on themselves, but I never did, I was mad at them for not being able to work it out. Which they did eventually, because they got back together less than half a year later.

Now that they are together, I want them to divorce. They're not happy together at all. My dad is an ass to my mom and doesn't appreciate her, and all my mom ever does is cry about every little thing. Then when I tell them to stop argueing I get told to butt out, and that it's none of my business, when clearly it is, seeing as I have to live with this everyday.

[alltimehoe93]

My parents seperated when I was about 10. When it happened, I was just a kid and I wasn't really paying attention to them, so it was a total suprise when they told me. I always hear that kids blame it on themselves, but I never did, I was mad at them for not being able to work it out. Which they did eventually, because they got back together less than half a year later.

Now that they are together, I want them to divorce. They're not happy together at all. My dad is an ass to my mom and doesn't appreciate her, and all my mom ever does is cry about every little thing. Then when I tell them to stop argueing I get told to butt out, and that it's none of my business, when clearly it is, seeing as I have to live with this everyday.

im sorry
*not my business* but maybe you should talk to them and tell them that it has an impact on you so it really is your business too.

[brandnew=love]

My parents seperated when I was about 10. When it happened, I was just a kid and I wasn't really paying attention to them, so it was a total suprise when they told me. I always hear that kids blame it on themselves, but I never did, I was mad at them for not being able to work it out. Which they did eventually, because they got back together less than half a year later.

Now that they are together, I want them to divorce. They're not happy together at all. My dad is an ass to my mom and doesn't appreciate her, and all my mom ever does is cry about every little thing. Then when I tell them to stop argueing I get told to butt out, and that it's none of my business, when clearly it is, seeing as I have to live with this everyday.
awww I'm sorry to hear all that! :hug:

[hero_dujour]

awww I'm sorry to hear all that! :hug:
haha thanks

[brandnew=love]

haha thanks
lol welcome! how are you today?

[hero_dujour]

lol welcome! how are you today?
Fine fine, I've locked myself in my room so I don't have to hear any argueing if they decide to go at it again. Nervous as hell about the election results! How's your day been?

[brandnew=love]

Fine fine, I've locked myself in my room so I don't have to hear any argueing if they decide to go at it again. Nervous as hell about the election results! How's your day been?
Awww well just don't be a loner! :-) Well I (and a lot of people here) are here for you if you ever need to talk about it or anything really. I'm pretty nervous about the results myself... I voted though, so I can only wish for the best! May I ask who you're going for? My day was okay... just tired of school...

[hero_dujour]

Awww well just don't be a loner! :-) Well I (and a lot of people here) are here for you if you ever need to talk about it or anything really. I'm pretty nervous about the results myself... I voted though, so I can only wish for the best! May I ask who you're going for? My day was okay... just tired of school...
thanks again, and I'm for Obama all the way!

[brandnew=love]

thanks again, and I'm for Obama all the way!
no prob! and nice choice! :-)

[checkered.stars]

I think it really depends on the family, but if life is really that miserable then it is probably best for the parents to split. My parents have been married for 20-something years, but they don't sleep in the same rooms at night and they fight constantly. Even though they're not divorced, it's by no means a happy household.

And I hope you feel better. I'm sure our situation will heal with time.

[brandnew=love]

I think it really depends on the family, but if life is really that miserable then it is probably best for the parents to split. My parents have been married for 20-something years, but they don't sleep in the same rooms at night and they fight constantly. Even though they're not divorced, it's by no means a happy household.

And I hope you feel better. I'm sure our situation will heal with time.
Aww I'm sorry to hear all that Katlin! My parents are kinda the same...

[checkered.stars]

Aww I'm sorry to hear all that Katlin! My parents are kinda the same...
Haha thanks. I guess whatever doesn't kill us, makes us stronger haha.

[punkrockness]

My good friend's parents have been married over 25 years, have four kids, and have been "working" on their marriage for almost two years. Her dad cheated and can't give up his mistress, but doesn't want to lose his wife either. Her mom wants to work things out for the kids, but ultimately this has hurt the kids even more and they want their mom to divorce their dad. It's an awful situation and the kids hate their dad and have lost respect for their mother for waiting around so long.

Obviously I don't know your entire situation and I can't see the future, but if your parents don't think things will work out in the end, then maybe it is saving all of you a lot of heartache if they stay together just for the sake of "being together". Good luck with everything and keep your chin up!

[Signatoria]

Wow. I wasn't expecting such a big response!
Thanks, guys. It helps to know that some people give a damn.
But I think it's working out fairly well. It was my mum mostly. She just needed to get away. It was sorta painful at first.
My brother and sister reacted better that i did. my head spun and I felt ill. It was surreal. but they were like "Whatever.."
Strange. I feel quite ashamed of my reaction now. I should have been more clear-headed

[firecrackaaa!]

Don't beat yourself up over it. It's an understandable reaction.

[brandnew=love]

Haha thanks. I guess whatever doesn't kill us, makes us stronger haha.
lol very true! :-) as long as you learn from their mistakes...
Wow. I wasn't expecting such a big response!
Thanks, guys. It helps to know that some people give a damn.
But I think it's working out fairly well. It was my mum mostly. She just needed to get away. It was sorta painful at first.
My brother and sister reacted better that i did. my head spun and I felt ill. It was surreal. but they were like "Whatever.."
Strange. I feel quite ashamed of my reaction now. I should have been more clear-headed
don't be ashamed... I don't think anyone could have expected anything more from you... and things will get better! :-)

[alltimehoe93]

Wow. I wasn't expecting such a big response!
Thanks, guys. It helps to know that some people give a damn.
But I think it's working out fairly well. It was my mum mostly. She just needed to get away. It was sorta painful at first.
My brother and sister reacted better that i did. my head spun and I felt ill. It was surreal. but they were like "Whatever.."
Strange. I feel quite ashamed of my reaction now. I should have been more clear-headed

that seems like a pretty normal reaction to me, don't be ashamed
you could've handled it a lot worse than you did so you should be proud of yourself that you didn't.