North By Northwest

[stendhal]

I dug at sites, vast and wide
of the archaeological type
and found a bone or two to pick with you
a weighted chest,
I had a hatchet to put to rest

So now I'm pillaging down your street
Stealing flowers from folks I'll never meet
Dragging fingertips 'cross a chain link fence
Plucking/Claiming morning glorys for/as baggage

The carousel, unprepared
and counting losses in the middle of O'hare
Off to prove to you that I was right
But lost ground mid-flight on the red eye
Once I saw I couldn't say
But who's to say that I was wrong?

unfinished... thoughts?

[lew_1987]

It seems finished to me... the ending seemed to round it off nicely. It was pretty good though.

[stendhal]

It seems finished to me... the ending seemed to round it off nicely. It was pretty good though.


It's finished with rounding out the subject and getting its point across, but with what I have written musically, it seems too short.

I think you're right though, and I don't want to 'over-write' the piece I suppose.

[lew_1987]

It finishes nicely before it gets stagnant.

[stendhal]

It finishes nicely before it gets stagnant.


Thanks...

and as always, thanks for being the first (and often only) to give feedback.

[lew_1987]

No problem. You seem to be really consistent with your pieces; they deserve more praise.

[stendhal]

No problem. You seem to be really consistent with your pieces; they deserve more praise.


That's very kind... thank you.