Secrets from Girlfriends

[jagermeister]

Does a girlfriend have the right to know everything you've done (aka girls you've done stuff with) while you were broken up once you get back together? Or is it simply none of their business since you were in fact broken up?

[kaycey]

i tell my girl everything, only i try to keep things short and sweet, i never go into detail.

edit: why do you ask, what did you do?

[jagermeister]

We've been on and off for the last year. During the off times I have had sexual encounters with a few girls, but when she asks me if I have, I tell her not to ask me, because either way I'm not telling her since its not her business and I wouldn't (and haven't) asked the same questions to her. And recently I was with the last person in the world she'd ever want me with BUT we're broken up.

I donno...I'm trying to justify this to myself because she's not my GF right now (we're 'working things out' uggh) and to me, I don't really owe her anything IMO.

[kaycey]

this reminds me of ross and rachel. WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jagermeister]

this reminds me of ross and rachel. WE WARE ON A BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Multiply what Ross did by 8 or 9 for my situation. Fucker can't keep up with me!

[kaycey]

Multiply what Ross did by 8 or 9 for my situation. Fucker can't keep up with me!
lol, what did you do, can you spare some more details?
but if its meant to be , its meant to be.

[immorehxcthanu]

I wouldn't want to know to be totally honest.

[DCfreak]

I still occassionally hookup with my first, so yeah i would feel uncomfortable if we didnt tell eachother our other sex partners. She doesnt know the new ones though, so that may change things. Oh, and neither of us are sluts.

[jagermeister]

I wouldn't want to know to be totally honest.

Thats what I figured. My girl is such a sweet kid, wouldn't cheat or do anything but I know in the times we've been not together stuff has gone down but I don't care, nor do I want to know.

I still occassionally hookup with my first, so yeah i would feel uncomfortable if we didnt tell eachother our other sex partners. She doesnt know the new ones though, so that may change things. Oh, and neither of us are sluts.

I'm not talking about a girl I wanna hookup with, rather someone I'd like to be in a relationship with again.

[SLoT]

Does a girlfriend have the right to know everything you've done (aka girls you've done stuff with) while you were broken up once you get back together? Or is it simply none of their business since you were in fact broken up?
If she asks tell her the truth because you want to keep the trust and honesty there. Whatever's left of it, you know? Also, never talk to those chicks again if you want your current relationship to work out.

[jagermeister]

If she asks tell her the truth because you want to keep the trust and honesty there. Whatever's left of it, you know? Also, never talk to those chicks again if you want your current relationship to work out.

Don't plan on it. Some are friends so its cool, but there are a few I want nothing to do with because I know the bitch would fuck things up for me.

[SLoT]

Don't plan on it. Some are friends so its cool, but there are a few I want nothing to do with because I know the bitch would fuck things up for me.
Even still, the "friend" ones need to go. She'll never trust you with them and that only gives her a feeling that you want to still be friends because you still want to fool around with them. Awful feeling, if you dig your chick enough, have enough respect for her to make her feel comfortable with everything now. Either that or take a long look at why you took a break or whatever in the first place. Maybe this is not worth it in general.

[thespearkid]

Extremely tough question to answer. I'm not sure what I would do in your situation.

[jagermeister]

Even still, the "friend" ones need to go. She'll never trust you with them and that only gives her a feeling that you want to still be friends because you still want to fool around with them. Awful feeling, if you dig your chick enough, have enough respect for her to make her feel comfortable with everything now. Either that or take a long look at why you took a break or whatever in the first place. Maybe this is not worth it in general.

The thing is...I know if she finds all this out its going to beak her heart and will be a deal breaker. She knows nothing about any of this, and I know nothing about her escapades either. I think its better that way. To me anyways, the only things that really impact a relationship are the things that happen while we're together. I'm friends with every single (except one) girlfriend I've ever had and that doesn't bother her.

[SLoT]

The thing is...I know if she finds all this out its going to beak her heart and will be a deal breaker. She knows nothing about any of this, and I know nothing about her escapades either. I think its better that way. To me anyways, the only things that really impact a relationship are the things that happen while we're together. I'm friends with every single (except one) girlfriend I've ever had and that doesn't bother her.
Well then I'd suggest just keeping it all to yourself. If she asks, just say no. And stick with no forever.

[Because7ATE9]

Yeah i wouldnt tell a dam thing, because you dont really want something to come back and bite you in the ass, but thats just me speaking on past experiences.

[amysaurus]

Wait, so you and your gf broke up and got back together? If I was the girl I'd definitely want to know what happened during the break cause this has happened to me before and those types of secrets are definitely not good in a relationship.

[m_rue]

I think it would be best to be honest. She doesn't have a right to hold it against you. :shrug:

[chronomic]

Well then I'd suggest just keeping it all to yourself. If she asks, just say no. And stick with no forever.

it'll get fucked up eventually hahah


theres no way you could keep it from her forever, something will happen where the beans will get spilled. it's just a matter of time.

if she's really worth sticking around for, I would tell her. if not, then just keep it in as long as you can until it does come out and it will end for good (or so it seems, from how you described her)

[updownleftright]

it'll get fucked up eventually hahah


theres no way you could keep it from her forever, something will happen where the beans will get spilled. it's just a matter of time.

if she's really worth sticking around for, I would tell her. if not, then just keep it in as long as you can until it does come out and it will end for good (or so it seems, from how you described her)

yep, i agree with this. maybe he doesn't know if she's worth sticking around for yet given the current situations but the truth will eventually get out. if i was in your shoes i wouldn't care about what i told her because if she couldn't deal with it then i know she wouldn't be the girl for me.

[morgz]

if she finds out she'll be so angry. i'd be so hurt if a boyfriend lied to me about something like that.

[CTMarshall]

It's water under the bridge.

[spansen]

honesty is the best policy.

[HelpMeSleep]

I'd go with honesty, but not any more details than are necessary.

[spansen]

the only time i ever lied to my ex was to prolong her dumping me by just a little bit more time.. :-(

[Gumbyjag]

be honest, as far as general instances of what you've done, just don't get into details, as you've been doing. when/if she asks, i suggest you tell her though, if she is hurt by what you've done in the past even when you weren't together, she's not worth working things out with. couples should accept each other as they are now, not because of what they've done prior to each other.

[DaveZeroZero]

Embellish your stories with some crazy sex acts and then make her feel bad if she won't do the same for you because you can get it elsewhere.

[Freeride]

I would suggest holding onto this as a comedic queue card, if you ever have a huuuuge fight and its pretty much over you can bring up this in a form "This will hurt you but also be a funny story to tell friends"

For example: "I had relations of a sexual nature with 10 different ppl while we were apart and all were better then you, I only decided to come back to you because I needed a break from all the amazing dirty sex I was having and needed to remember what crappy sex was like again"

The reaction will be satisfying enough and she wont be able to top that.

The story will be kick ass to tell at a later date.

[jagermeister]

Wait, so you and your gf broke up and got back together? If I was the girl I'd definitely want to know what happened during the break cause this has happened to me before and those types of secrets are definitely not good in a relationship.

Why does stuff that happened during the time not together matter, though?

[alcoholandirony]

Dude, I've tried the whole "honest all the time" thing and it honestly causes many more problems than it fixes with shit like this. Honesty is really important and it's something I value and try to uphold, but with shit like this it's best to just keep your mouth shut. If you guys were on a break, then it's cool. It still sucks (my ex hooked up w/ different guys when we weren't together) but I guess that's life.

[Paulb-182]

Does a girlfriend have the right to know everything you've done (aka girls you've done stuff with) while you were broken up once you get back together? Or is it simply none of their business since you were in fact broken up?

none of her damn business, and shes a cheeky bitch if she asks, put simply

[cris545]

Be honest, she'll find out eventually and then you'll be fucked. I rather have someone tell me than keep it from me just because I wouldn't want to hear it. If she's a logical person, she'll move on, otherwise you're just leading a dishonest relationship.

[nonamesleft]

I just want to know where Milton is ...

[jagermeister]

Dude, I've tried the whole "honest all the time" thing and it honestly causes many more problems than it fixes with shit like this. Honesty is really important and it's something I value and try to uphold, but with shit like this it's best to just keep your mouth shut. If you guys were on a break, then it's cool. It still sucks (my ex hooked up w/ different guys when we weren't together) but I guess that's life.

This is exactly what I think...but we seem to be a minority here.

I just want to know where Milton is ...

Once you tell me where and what Ottawa is...just kidding. Milton is west of Toronto beside Mississauga. I came to Ottawa this summer and fell in love...such a great city.

[amysaurus]

Why does stuff that happened during the time not together matter, though?

Because you guys are getting back together? I don't know, I can see where both sides are coming from. I just know that if I was getting back with my boyfriend, I'd want to know if anything happened during the break. Obviously I'd tell him if I did anything, too. Are you just worried cause you don't want to tell her what you actually did?

[jagermeister]

Because you guys are getting back together? I don't know, I can see where both sides are coming from. I just know that if I was getting back with my boyfriend, I'd want to know if anything happened during the break. Obviously I'd tell him if I did anything, too. Are you just worried cause you don't want to tell her what you actually did?

I just know it'll break her heart to know that about me.

[Willy McFurgle]

either tell her now, or tell her later, but the last you want is for anything to come up in the future that will test your relationship. it all just depends on how close of a bond you have.

[DaveZeroZero]

tell her whilst you're having sex with her.

[Willy McFurgle]

call her and tell her while having sex with someone else.

[pilot_light_out]

:-d

[mattmatumbo]

Does a girlfriend have the right to know everything you've done (aka girls you've done stuff with) while you were broken up once you get back together? Or is it simply none of their business since you were in fact broken up?

its none of their business, its completely unrelated to your current belle. she doesnt need to know anything unless you got a disease i suppose.

[amysaurus]

I just know it'll break her heart to know that about me.

Oh god, what did you do?

[Kassie09]

Yes, they need to know, it's important to tell each other stuff.

[tomakebelieve]

unless she's going to list every little thing she did while you guys were broken up, i wouldn't say you had to say anything, unless, you like, knocked someone up or something.