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tarynisonfire
04/05/05, 03:47 PM
"so perfect dead"

crimson tears fall
from their newly broken hearts,
strewn in the hall.
untold feelings ripped their limbs apart.

muscles tore and
lungs were punctured.
skulls shattered. their
souls were ruptured.
now their bruised and bloody lips can sing
words that they had never said.
didn't two young lovers see
that they'd be so perfect dead?

lying love notes
were used to soak up the blood.
they'll raise a toast to where
their bodies shattered with a thud.
wipe away tears.
she's cuter without raccoon eyes.
three wasted years
of misleadings, fibs, and lies.

muscles tore and
lungs were punctured.
skulls shattered. their
souls were ruptured.
now their bruised and bloody lips can sing
words that they had never said.
didn't two young lovers see
that they'd be so perfect dead?

tarynisonfire
04/20/05, 03:20 PM
comments?

last light
04/20/05, 03:22 PM
too much use of the word blood...and take out that racoon eyes line hahaha the mere thought of a racoon makes me giggle. not too bad. work on it some more and youll like the results better