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Michellewith1L
11/09/08, 08:35 PM
These are a lot of different verses pulled out of notebooks and scribbled in corners of essays that i've been bringing together lately, some need a lot of help while i think others have more potential to be used...any feedback would be wonderful



---------------------------------
You said you knew you could fake this
if it's true
Tell me why
The lying lead such loveless lives
------------------------------------

All the places that held solitude
Don't mean a thing anymore
realizing I can't go anywhere
When I'm running from everything
---------------------------------------

3 am on a Tuesday morning
Another 5 hours gone to waste for you
All I hear is the ring in my ears
From the static snow on the television screen
Try to realize like I have
Your reason to leave was the same reason to stay

---------------------------------

Your whispers bruise my ears
and the lines your fingertips traced
Well they still scar my skin

But I guess you could call it a clean break
at least there aren't any strings left to tie me to you
---------------------------------------

So just say the words
I know you're dying to throw them in my face
Really, the suspense is killing us all
And I've already lost my one saving grace
Why can't we just let it go
And if we can't
Just walk away and know
You wrote the words on your own tombstone
------------------------------------

And lately I'm beginning to learn
The big difference between
What I want
And what's best
Cause what I need
Could be the very last thing
You'd ever think to give

-----------------------------

All these familiar places
Force me to remember forgotten faces
-------------------------------------

We try to fight through
Though we know it can't last
But still
We live through this
So we'll tell ourselves
That we'll get by
And we'll never look back on these days in regret

--------------------------------------
The lilac lazy days
Spew from leftover summer's haze
With the moon frowning down on me
My feet catch each sidewalk crack
And my shadow stretches
From the drawstring stars at my back

These dancers, they pirouette down the street
With no fumbling hands or stumbling feet
Abandoned 2nd chances & forgotten backwards glances
Real life, true life isn't lit by plastic lights
It sparks and ignites
From star streaks and neon fist fights
----------------------------

So grab a million soldiers
Show them to their graves
They're fighting in a war
For problems we create
---------------------------

Tell me what exactly to expect
So i can know what to do
and what i just can't show to you
----------------------------------
My thoughts bounce off the window
With the cold October rain
If I could I'd send it all your way
I'd attach a note
To let you know
Its always been for you
------------------------------

I've taken the blame
For there being nothing left at all
I realized too late
It was always your fault
---------------------------------------------
When everything else sinks far beneath you
Can you keep yourself afloat?
From the dark blue water
You know what's hiding
It circles below waiting for a chance
For you to be exposed
(Always hiding what you really are)
----------------------------------------------
I can't give myself
When I realize how broken I've become
A new start
That's all I long for
Just one chance to start everything over
Force my present to the past
My heart is steeled my mind is set
To leave everything behind
Get away from the coast
The California sun shines too strong for me
-----------------------------------

I've been so afraid of change
it brings with it
New truths I can't imagine
now it's all I could ask for
{It's not about realizations
It's about acceptance}
And I'd say I'd miss you
If that breath would be more
Than steam in the air
----------------------------------
This is the death of innocence
The loss of all you thought you knew
And what you'd been told to think is true
----------------------------------------
I've been trying so hard to put this down in words
But all the common cliches burn my paper from the edge

musicroxmysox
11/26/08, 01:57 PM
These are a lot of different verses pulled out of notebooks and scribbled in corners of essays that i've been bringing together lately, some need a lot of help while i think others have more potential to be used...any feedback would be wonderful



---------------------------------
You said you knew you could fake this
if it's true
Tell me why
The lying lead such loveless lives
----------------------------------

3 am on a Tuesday morning
Another 5 hours gone to waste for you
All I hear is the ring in my ears
From the static snow on the television screen
Try to realize like I have
Your reason to leave was the same reason to stay

---------------------------------
The lilac lazy days
Spew from leftover summer's haze
With the moon frowning down on me
My feet catch each sidewalk crack
And my shadow stretches
From the drawstring stars at my back

These dancers, they pirouette down the street
With no fumbling hands or stumbling feet
Abandoned 2nd chances & forgotten backwards glances
Real life, true life isn't lit by plastic lights
It sparks and ignites
From star streaks and neon fist fights

----------------------------
This is the death of innocence
The loss of all you thought you knew
And what you'd been told to think is true



i like the two lines i bolded and the imagery in the third selection, the 4th verse is good too but it sounds like something that's been used in plenty of other songs...the other verses need some work but other than that good job

Michellewith1L
01/06/09, 07:20 PM
Sorry for not being on for so long, thanks for the feedback, and I agree on the lack of unoriginality, these all definitely haven't had much effort put into them beyond being bored in class, but thanks :-)