aminorthreat55
04/17/05, 03:37 PM
A guy dies and goes up to heaven. St. Peter is giving him the grand tour of the Grounds, and he says, "So, what were you into back on earth? Like, what were your hobbies and shit?" And the guy says, "Well, I was a musician." So St. Peter says, "Oh Jeez -- well come on! You know what they say about how Heaven must have one Hell of a band and all that -- this is the place for YOU, my brother! As a matter of fact, there's a show about to get underway down at the Celestial Auditorium. You wanna check it out?" Guy: "Hullz yeah!" St. P.: "Well let's get it awn!"
So they go down to the Celestial Auditorium, and the guy's jaw immediately drops to the floor -- on stage, starting the show is someone playing the most rippingest version of the "Star Spangled Banner" ever, and the dead guys is like, "Oh my Gawd! It's Jimmy Hendrix!" And St. Pete is all, "Totally. Here come the drums -- check it..." And he hears, like, DUH-DUH-BAP! DUH-DUH-DUH-BAP! And he realizes, "Holy schniekies -- it's friggin' Bonham!" And Saint Pete's playin' it cool, but he's like, "Yup. But wait for it... Now dig the bass." Ding-diggaddy-ding-diggaddy-ding-diggaddy-ding-ding-doomb!! "No way -- it's The Ox! John Entwistle -- he's my favorite!!" Then the singer comes out and starts belting, "eeeeyah-hooooooo-hoo-hoo-hoooooo! Hoooo-ho-ho-ho!" And the dead guy is really puzzled because it's obviously Bono, so he turns to St. Peter and says, "But wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute -- Bono's not dead, is he?" And St. Peter sighs and says, "No no no -- that's Jesus -- he just thinks he's Bono."
So they go down to the Celestial Auditorium, and the guy's jaw immediately drops to the floor -- on stage, starting the show is someone playing the most rippingest version of the "Star Spangled Banner" ever, and the dead guys is like, "Oh my Gawd! It's Jimmy Hendrix!" And St. Pete is all, "Totally. Here come the drums -- check it..." And he hears, like, DUH-DUH-BAP! DUH-DUH-DUH-BAP! And he realizes, "Holy schniekies -- it's friggin' Bonham!" And Saint Pete's playin' it cool, but he's like, "Yup. But wait for it... Now dig the bass." Ding-diggaddy-ding-diggaddy-ding-diggaddy-ding-ding-doomb!! "No way -- it's The Ox! John Entwistle -- he's my favorite!!" Then the singer comes out and starts belting, "eeeeyah-hooooooo-hoo-hoo-hoooooo! Hoooo-ho-ho-ho!" And the dead guy is really puzzled because it's obviously Bono, so he turns to St. Peter and says, "But wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute -- Bono's not dead, is he?" And St. Peter sighs and says, "No no no -- that's Jesus -- he just thinks he's Bono."