Da90sRTheNew80s
11/17/08, 04:23 PM
www.myspace.com/TheTurnpikeHustle (http://www.myspace.com/TheTurnpikeHustle) - The TPH’s story begins back in the day in a small South Jersey town named Salem. Patrick was a mild mannered Social Worker at his local Welfare Office and Dave was a Professional Freelance Graffiti artist. They had met while playing local shows in different bands a few years earlier. They had jammed a bit and recorded a few songs together, but nothing to serious. One day during the summer of 2008 Patrick and Dave decided to drink and jam, as creative musician often do. They headed up to their favorite liquor store; Kurt’s Liquors and purchased some delightful malt liquor. When they got inside they started talking to Kumar the friendly liquor store clerk. Kumar was telling them about how a rowdy bunch of redneck nuclear power plant workers had just been in. He told them they had been drunk as hell on Nady Ice and were causing a big ruckus, when all of a sudden they heard a loud BOOM! Patrick and Dave ran outside of the store just in time to see a large mushroom cloud coming out of the Salem Nuclear Power Plant, which unfortunately was right down the street. First thing that came two their minds was “OH SHIT”, then the second thing that came to them was an intense blast of nuclear radiation. Fortunately the radiation wasn’t fatal, but as the guys got up from the blast they looked at their reflection in the window of Kurt’s (which was unexplainably and luckily left unscathed) to see they had been fused into a two head nuclear mutant! This was a total bummer at first cause Dave had major plans that night to get it in with his girl and Patrick had a totally shy bladder. They went back to Patrick’s too drink their malt liquor and decide what to do with themselves now as a two headed nuclear mutant. After the magic muse of Olde E worked its way into their newly unified blood stream, they came up with the only option they felt was left for them in this new form. They decided to start a fucking band! Word is born yo, that was the birth of The Turnpike Hustle! They started writing songs they thought reflected the new Patrick and Dave mutant. The songs were a little bit hip hop, a little bit techno, and alotta bit ROCK! They got their new songs together and started to play some shows. People were a little taken aback at first by this two headed rock and roll mutant but once they started playing their first song, the show would blow up into the craziest 1980’s dance party you ever saw! After a few shows and a couple close calls with The Fuzz, they decided to recruit their good buddy Pork to play bass and be designated driver. Pork agreed to be the bassist/designated driver only on the condition that if the band ever got famous he could use the band’s popularity to sell his own line of pornographic coloring books. They agreed to his demands and immediately started rocking shows together. These days you can catch The Turnpike Hustle melting faces raiders of the lost ark style all across the country, so be sure to keep an eye out at your local show and liquor store for them. Peace - www.myspace.com/TheTurnpikeHustle (http://www.myspace.com/TheTurnpikeHustle)