Speedy Spike
04/27/05, 11:42 AM
Hey there AbsoultePunk.net I am your newest member don't I feel special? I joined here to look around about Punk Music, I've always been pretty much a Punk type of music listener, but I listen to just about anything. My top five artists/bands I listen to would have to be Green Day, Simple Plan, Good Charlotte, Blink 182, and Jimmy Eat World. So a lot of my music I like is "Newer Age" Punk. What that has to do with anything about "The Meaning of Music/Trail Separations" I don't know, I just thought I would tell you guys a little bit about myself, before I went off and posted here. Anyways let me get down to the point of this thread.
My girlfriend, (or X or whatever you want to call her), and I have officially started a Trail Separation that's been since April 20th of this year. The past week has been hell for me. I've been so depressed at some points I was scared to take the next breath only worried that my heart/lungs would explode from pressure. I mean I've thought I'd had some depressing times in my life (Maybe I'll make other posts about them in the future but I’ll try to stay on topic) but nothing has compared to the way I've felt this week. To start off with I couldn't eat. If I put food in my mouth I would get a puking sensation. I felt as if I would barf any moment. So I swallow what I had in my mouth and just throw away the rest. The most I ate during this time was a third of a 6 in sub, and almost a full piece of pizza. So I was really tired and week due to no food.
But music! I couldn't believe what listening to music did to me. It made me better and at the same time so much worse. I've listened to Green Day, and Good Charlotte, and Blink 182 for years. And everyone has always asked me "Why do you listen to that depressing music, doesn't it get to you?" I never really understood why they would say this, I would be like "Dude It's just a Song." Nothing ever phased me or made me thing different. Sure some songs did. I used to tell myself that Superman by Five For Fighting was my life. And She F*ucking Hates me by Puddle for Mudd was my like back in 9th grade with a girl named Ashley. But listening to some music this week made me cry, mad me miss my girlfriend so much.
I am not really going to get into the details of why me and my girlfriend are separated, let's just say we have a distance problem, I live about 100 miles away from her, and I can only visit her when her Foster Parents allow it. And she wants to wait until we can see each other on a more daily bases. Sure it still kills, but I am able to wait if she wants me too. I have to love her so much more then I thought if I am getting the feelings I am getting nowadays.
I guess what I am trying to say or make the main point is, don't be like I was and just listen to music because you liked the beat. Really experience the music. And I thank the artists of the bands now more then ever to really put their hearts into music. I will give a few examples of some songs that really hit home with me.
I used to listen to a song called Say Anything by Good Charlotte hundreds of times before this happened, and it was catchy, but I never really thought any more then that. But yesterday when I was driving to the mall to buy her something. I was thinking about her (I can't remember a time when I don't think about her, so that's also kind of a given), and I was listening to Good Charlotte's CD and that song came on. And when I heard theses words, a tear feel from my eye:
"Here I am on the phone again and...
Awkward silence is on the other end
I used to know the sound of a smile in your voice
But right now (right now) all I feel (all I feel)
is the pain of the fighting starting up again"
I mean, the past month or so we have been fighting and arguing a lot on the phone and in person, and it really has hurt me. I never stop thinking about the fights, and I want them to stop. She used to laugh and smile on the phone all the time, but now half of the time it's just silence. I hate it, but I can't change it. So that song was like Wow, this is me. I feel something when I listen to it. It sucks but at the same time, I'm kind of glad I'm not the only one out there that feels this way, but even so it still hurts.
Another song that did the same thing would have been I'm Lost Without You by Blink 182. I never really liked Blink's new Album but I was listening to every CD I had a few weeks back when I was making Jessica (when we were still dating) a CD that I wanted to put songs on it that reminded me of her ... well that was one of the songs. Mind you the song made me think of her, but really other then that, no other phase. But after this whole thing, when I listen to the song now, When he says "I'm Lost Without You, or Are You Scared of Being Alone, because I am, I am" I really get it, because I was soo scared.
There are others but I don't want to make this message longer then it already is. I just want to open it up for other people that maybe can share the same experience with a song. Or If they have other recommendations of songs to listen to like this. This may sound sick but I want to make a full CD of songs that really hit home to me, and then when I am feeling down or something during this Separation, I could listen to it, to either have really good cry and get some feelings out, or just make me think of her.
Anyways I really think I am going to like this place, and I'm glad to be a member! Until next time ... this is Speedy signing out.
- Speedy
My girlfriend, (or X or whatever you want to call her), and I have officially started a Trail Separation that's been since April 20th of this year. The past week has been hell for me. I've been so depressed at some points I was scared to take the next breath only worried that my heart/lungs would explode from pressure. I mean I've thought I'd had some depressing times in my life (Maybe I'll make other posts about them in the future but I’ll try to stay on topic) but nothing has compared to the way I've felt this week. To start off with I couldn't eat. If I put food in my mouth I would get a puking sensation. I felt as if I would barf any moment. So I swallow what I had in my mouth and just throw away the rest. The most I ate during this time was a third of a 6 in sub, and almost a full piece of pizza. So I was really tired and week due to no food.
But music! I couldn't believe what listening to music did to me. It made me better and at the same time so much worse. I've listened to Green Day, and Good Charlotte, and Blink 182 for years. And everyone has always asked me "Why do you listen to that depressing music, doesn't it get to you?" I never really understood why they would say this, I would be like "Dude It's just a Song." Nothing ever phased me or made me thing different. Sure some songs did. I used to tell myself that Superman by Five For Fighting was my life. And She F*ucking Hates me by Puddle for Mudd was my like back in 9th grade with a girl named Ashley. But listening to some music this week made me cry, mad me miss my girlfriend so much.
I am not really going to get into the details of why me and my girlfriend are separated, let's just say we have a distance problem, I live about 100 miles away from her, and I can only visit her when her Foster Parents allow it. And she wants to wait until we can see each other on a more daily bases. Sure it still kills, but I am able to wait if she wants me too. I have to love her so much more then I thought if I am getting the feelings I am getting nowadays.
I guess what I am trying to say or make the main point is, don't be like I was and just listen to music because you liked the beat. Really experience the music. And I thank the artists of the bands now more then ever to really put their hearts into music. I will give a few examples of some songs that really hit home with me.
I used to listen to a song called Say Anything by Good Charlotte hundreds of times before this happened, and it was catchy, but I never really thought any more then that. But yesterday when I was driving to the mall to buy her something. I was thinking about her (I can't remember a time when I don't think about her, so that's also kind of a given), and I was listening to Good Charlotte's CD and that song came on. And when I heard theses words, a tear feel from my eye:
"Here I am on the phone again and...
Awkward silence is on the other end
I used to know the sound of a smile in your voice
But right now (right now) all I feel (all I feel)
is the pain of the fighting starting up again"
I mean, the past month or so we have been fighting and arguing a lot on the phone and in person, and it really has hurt me. I never stop thinking about the fights, and I want them to stop. She used to laugh and smile on the phone all the time, but now half of the time it's just silence. I hate it, but I can't change it. So that song was like Wow, this is me. I feel something when I listen to it. It sucks but at the same time, I'm kind of glad I'm not the only one out there that feels this way, but even so it still hurts.
Another song that did the same thing would have been I'm Lost Without You by Blink 182. I never really liked Blink's new Album but I was listening to every CD I had a few weeks back when I was making Jessica (when we were still dating) a CD that I wanted to put songs on it that reminded me of her ... well that was one of the songs. Mind you the song made me think of her, but really other then that, no other phase. But after this whole thing, when I listen to the song now, When he says "I'm Lost Without You, or Are You Scared of Being Alone, because I am, I am" I really get it, because I was soo scared.
There are others but I don't want to make this message longer then it already is. I just want to open it up for other people that maybe can share the same experience with a song. Or If they have other recommendations of songs to listen to like this. This may sound sick but I want to make a full CD of songs that really hit home to me, and then when I am feeling down or something during this Separation, I could listen to it, to either have really good cry and get some feelings out, or just make me think of her.
Anyways I really think I am going to like this place, and I'm glad to be a member! Until next time ... this is Speedy signing out.
- Speedy