merv the perv
05/04/05, 12:06 AM
I wrote this story back in October. I hope you enjoy it. I guess it's called "I Can't Drive Like This".
Sometimes the beach can be that old friend who fills everyone up with life. That’s the way it felt for the young man that summer night. He was not alone, but he would be soon. His companion was beautiful and blonde and almost too perfect in the young man’s eyes. Things so beautiful never came his way without bringing pain as well. Other beachgoers looked at the two and saw a pure love that exists only in the hearts of the young. The young man once thought a distant love would gain him respect from others and draw sympathy from everyone who heard his tale. Now the icy wave of realization was hitting him all at once. Soon the only girl he loved would be thousands of miles away, and he would be alone, and nobody would care as much as he had hoped.
The young man and his bright-eyed lover stopped along the boardwalk against a rail. He held her at her waist and looked around. The ocean followed its elegant routine and the air moved delicately, but it was filled with an unusual coldness. Perhaps it was because the summer was fading into autumn, or maybe it was because his heart was ready to drop straight through the thick wooden planks on which they stood. It was ready to fall at any sign of sorrow shown by the girl his hands were holding. One tear from her eyes or one sad word from her mouth and he would have been done for. He stood up straight and focused his gaze away from the sea and into her eyes in a charming manner.
“I’d do it all over again if I could,” said the young man in a quiet but rough tone, “I’d take you to this same beach that we came to in the winter, and the spring, and this summer. I’d kiss you on your lips and I’d whisper in your ear all the things you said you didn’t want to hear but we both knew you did. I’d fall in love with you every day for the rest of my life if I could.” He stopped for a moment and collected himself. “I don’t want you to worry about me; I’ll wait here for you and think of nobody else because I know you’ll do the same.”
“How could I ever think of anyone else?” she replied, holding back tears, “You always made good on your promises.”
She spoke the truth. He promised her long ago that he would never bring pain to her heart, and he had never handled the organ with anything but care. He woke up and saw meaning in the mirror because of her. With such a magnificent love in his life, nothing could go terribly wrong because there was always her. He would give her everything he had, material or emotional, but she only wanted the latter. The two never traded heated words, and altercations were nonexistent between them. It is very difficult to fight off the air that fills the lungs and keeps the body moving.
The night was ending and soon it would be time for her to go. He took her by the hand and they walked from the boardwalk back to his car. With her fingers interlocked with his, everything was perfect. It was as if the blood that pumped from her heart entered his body through his fingers and circulated all throughout him. How something as close as her would become so intangible in a matter of a few hours was beyond his capacity of thought. The couple reached the automobile and climbed in. They were greeted by the vacant air that they thought only existed in the goodbye scenes of movies. This was no movie. It was their lives, laid out right before them, bigger than anything they had ever stepped back to see.
The drive home was too short. It crossed the young man’s mind to just get on the highway and drive as far as gas in the tank would allow. Perhaps they would run away and never be apart. He knew it could never happen and that she had to leave. It was the best thing for her to do in the end. He had fought with the idea many nights, wide awake in bed. It was her life and she couldn’t wait for anyone. She had so many great things to do and he would never let himself get in the way of that. He came to terms with the notion of being the distant lover whom she would long for constantly. “It is better to love from a distance than to not love at all,” he told himself at times when he felt as if he were about to fall apart into pieces on the ground.
The two arrived at her house before dawn. They stood in the street next to the car, fearing more than ever what they had been afraid of for months. He did his best to hold her, as if his grip around her could hold in what she had to let out. He felt the moisture on his chest where her face was buried, and he knew she had begun to cry. He had to leave her soon, and he tried every consolation technique he knew. It was useless.
“We’re going to be alright,” she said through a mouth that was shaking with sadness. She was trying with everything in her soul to get out the words so that she could hear him repeat them.
“We are,” he said, eyes dry for the time being, “I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.”
He then let go of her momentarily and reached into his pocket. He took out something that would only cause her eyes to flood more. He gave her a necklace with a heart pendant. The diamonds that lined the piece of jewelry sparkled like her teary eyes under the street lights.
“When you’re gone, this can be your little piece of me that you always have with you, so you don’t forget me or anything,” he said with a calmness that seemed out of place.
“Thank you,” was all she could tell him. She wanted to tell him that she it was the most beautiful thing anyone had ever given her and that she loved him more than she had ever told him, but she could not. Her sobbing would not allow for it.
He kissed her goodbye one last time. It was perhaps the hardest thing the young man had ever done. The whole world seemed to run through his head all at once and he knew that the recipient of his kiss was someone who was well worth a lengthy wait. He sat down in the car and started the engine. As he drove away he assured himself that everything would fall into the right place like it always did. As he finished comforting himself, he tasted the salt run into the corner of his mouth and he continued home through blurred eyes.
Sometimes the beach can be that old friend who fills everyone up with life. That’s the way it felt for the young man that summer night. He was not alone, but he would be soon. His companion was beautiful and blonde and almost too perfect in the young man’s eyes. Things so beautiful never came his way without bringing pain as well. Other beachgoers looked at the two and saw a pure love that exists only in the hearts of the young. The young man once thought a distant love would gain him respect from others and draw sympathy from everyone who heard his tale. Now the icy wave of realization was hitting him all at once. Soon the only girl he loved would be thousands of miles away, and he would be alone, and nobody would care as much as he had hoped.
The young man and his bright-eyed lover stopped along the boardwalk against a rail. He held her at her waist and looked around. The ocean followed its elegant routine and the air moved delicately, but it was filled with an unusual coldness. Perhaps it was because the summer was fading into autumn, or maybe it was because his heart was ready to drop straight through the thick wooden planks on which they stood. It was ready to fall at any sign of sorrow shown by the girl his hands were holding. One tear from her eyes or one sad word from her mouth and he would have been done for. He stood up straight and focused his gaze away from the sea and into her eyes in a charming manner.
“I’d do it all over again if I could,” said the young man in a quiet but rough tone, “I’d take you to this same beach that we came to in the winter, and the spring, and this summer. I’d kiss you on your lips and I’d whisper in your ear all the things you said you didn’t want to hear but we both knew you did. I’d fall in love with you every day for the rest of my life if I could.” He stopped for a moment and collected himself. “I don’t want you to worry about me; I’ll wait here for you and think of nobody else because I know you’ll do the same.”
“How could I ever think of anyone else?” she replied, holding back tears, “You always made good on your promises.”
She spoke the truth. He promised her long ago that he would never bring pain to her heart, and he had never handled the organ with anything but care. He woke up and saw meaning in the mirror because of her. With such a magnificent love in his life, nothing could go terribly wrong because there was always her. He would give her everything he had, material or emotional, but she only wanted the latter. The two never traded heated words, and altercations were nonexistent between them. It is very difficult to fight off the air that fills the lungs and keeps the body moving.
The night was ending and soon it would be time for her to go. He took her by the hand and they walked from the boardwalk back to his car. With her fingers interlocked with his, everything was perfect. It was as if the blood that pumped from her heart entered his body through his fingers and circulated all throughout him. How something as close as her would become so intangible in a matter of a few hours was beyond his capacity of thought. The couple reached the automobile and climbed in. They were greeted by the vacant air that they thought only existed in the goodbye scenes of movies. This was no movie. It was their lives, laid out right before them, bigger than anything they had ever stepped back to see.
The drive home was too short. It crossed the young man’s mind to just get on the highway and drive as far as gas in the tank would allow. Perhaps they would run away and never be apart. He knew it could never happen and that she had to leave. It was the best thing for her to do in the end. He had fought with the idea many nights, wide awake in bed. It was her life and she couldn’t wait for anyone. She had so many great things to do and he would never let himself get in the way of that. He came to terms with the notion of being the distant lover whom she would long for constantly. “It is better to love from a distance than to not love at all,” he told himself at times when he felt as if he were about to fall apart into pieces on the ground.
The two arrived at her house before dawn. They stood in the street next to the car, fearing more than ever what they had been afraid of for months. He did his best to hold her, as if his grip around her could hold in what she had to let out. He felt the moisture on his chest where her face was buried, and he knew she had begun to cry. He had to leave her soon, and he tried every consolation technique he knew. It was useless.
“We’re going to be alright,” she said through a mouth that was shaking with sadness. She was trying with everything in her soul to get out the words so that she could hear him repeat them.
“We are,” he said, eyes dry for the time being, “I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.”
He then let go of her momentarily and reached into his pocket. He took out something that would only cause her eyes to flood more. He gave her a necklace with a heart pendant. The diamonds that lined the piece of jewelry sparkled like her teary eyes under the street lights.
“When you’re gone, this can be your little piece of me that you always have with you, so you don’t forget me or anything,” he said with a calmness that seemed out of place.
“Thank you,” was all she could tell him. She wanted to tell him that she it was the most beautiful thing anyone had ever given her and that she loved him more than she had ever told him, but she could not. Her sobbing would not allow for it.
He kissed her goodbye one last time. It was perhaps the hardest thing the young man had ever done. The whole world seemed to run through his head all at once and he knew that the recipient of his kiss was someone who was well worth a lengthy wait. He sat down in the car and started the engine. As he drove away he assured himself that everything would fall into the right place like it always did. As he finished comforting himself, he tasted the salt run into the corner of his mouth and he continued home through blurred eyes.