Learning to Love in Technicolor

[mercutio7]

I bend at angles only mirrors should know
and throw my soul through windmills
making pseudo-widows out of
spied-her-webs in the corner of my
porthole wondow. Through which
I spy with my little eye
star spangled silhouettes
caressing contrasting hues
with rusted bayonets
and
I
Can't
Take this.
So I shape shift into a swarm of bees
and sting the staind-glass eyes of the blind
but I cannot make them see the
seas of Christianity crashing
with capitol C's that
wash creativity and ivory
from my technicolor teeth.

[kimosabe]

whenever I'm feeling down.....reading crappy teenage poetry makes me laugh and feel good again.

[ArTkY_]

It's pretty good.. not as good as what I'd expect from you

[mercutio7]

whenever I'm feeling down.....reading crappy teenage poetry makes me laugh and feel good again.

Wow, you fucking douchebag. I would love to see some of yours, here's another one of mine

:A Child's Smile: Crucified
"RED! WHITE! BLUE!"
screams the hue of the tattoo
on his tell-a-vision eyes
"The Time is right G.I !
Divine Wind of my dollar sign."
Pirates of Patriotism
VS
Tyrants of Terror
Place your bet
In the speed of which
Yellow 5 smiles roll
xenophobia into an
unmarked ditch

[soreloser]

I love this poem.

[merv the perv]

I'd probably like this stuff more if you didn't place a "her" wherever there is an "er" sound. It just looks retarded.

[jawkneephighv]

Structure/quality is great. The title is cute.

[mercutio7]

I'd probably like this stuff more if you didn't place a "her" wherever there is an "er" sound. It just looks retarded.

It's just my style, I'm trying to show how some words are male or fem
such as:
male: penMANship raceHISm
female: pokeher sneakher etc
sorry if you don't like it. read more poetry (not necessarily by me).

[xforestxwaitsx]

I like the whole play on words you did throughtout the poem. It makes it much more interesting and adds a different sort of dynamic for th reader to pick up on. Good stuff, i like.

[kimosabe]

Wow, you fucking douchebag. I would love to see some of yours, here's another one of mine

:A Child's Smile: Crucified
"RED! WHITE! BLUE!"
screams the hue of the tattoo
on his tell-a-vision eyes
"The Time is right G.I !
Divine Wind of my dollar sign."
Pirates of Patriotism
VS
Tyrants of Terror
Place your bet
In the speed of which
Yellow 5 smiles roll
xenophobia into an
unmarked ditch

argh! you found my only weaknes! more crappy teenage poetry is like cryptonite to me...

[mercutio7]

argh! you found my only weaknes! more crappy teenage poetry is like cryptonite to me...

Hold on, your predictable bitter comments are making me laugh too hard to type coherently any longer *pause* . I know it's hard when your life really isn't going anywhere, and blasting peoples creative works make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but your time should probably be put to better use.

[ArTkY_]

He knows its good, he just likes being mean.

[xforestxwaitsx]

Hold on, your predictable bitter comments are making me laugh too hard to type coherently any longer *pause* . I know it's hard when your life really isn't going anywhere, and blasting peoples creative works make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but your time should probably be put to better use.

hehe...and the sarcasm of the year award goes to......you

[kimosabe]

Hold on, your predictable bitter comments are making me laugh too hard to type coherently any longer *pause* . I know it's hard when your life really isn't going anywhere, and blasting peoples creative works make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but your time should probably be put to better use.
you type out "*pause*" = you suck.
and as what goes for "creative works"? bitch please! now I'm gonna "laugh too hard to type coherently"

[xforestxwaitsx]

wow, ten points to mercutio. i've never seen "kimosabe" at a loss for a real sarcastic quip, i bow to your greatness.

[kimosabe]

wow, ten points to mercutio. i've never seen "kimosabe" at a loss for a real sarcastic quip, i bow to your greatness.
what the fuck is 'quip'? Is that gay language for 'speaking the truth'?
although your love for metphors did a bad job of hiding the fact that "i bow to your greatness" really means, "i'll get down on my knees and suck your dick for a quarter. or an IOU. or lint."

[xforestxwaitsx]

what the fuck is 'quip'? Is that gay language for 'speaking the truth'?
although your love for metphors did a bad job of hiding the fact that "i bow to your greatness" really means, "i'll get down on my knees and suck your dick for a quarter. or an IOU. or lint."

quip- a witty comment.
how about ten bucks and i'll suck yours, that is if you have one.

[mercutio7]

quip- a witty comment.
how about ten bucks and i'll suck yours, that is if you have one.
haha you rock my world. Kimosabe, you just got owned many times.

[xforestxwaitsx]

haha you rock my world. Kimosabe, you just got owned many times.

thank you (bows) just another days work of bringing the world crashing down around someone's ears.

[jawkneephighv]

I like the first part. After "I Can't Take this" it just got really gay. Bees don't sting glass.

[xforestxwaitsx]

I like the first part. After "I Can't Take this" it just got really gay. Bees don't sting glass.

maybe it was a metaphor?

[jawkneephighv]

maybe it was a metaphor?
No kidding. But it sucked because bees don't sting glass. If you're gonna use metaphors use things that actually work.

[ArTkY_]

Read the rest of his stuff... he is by far the best writer on here

[xforestxwaitsx]

No kidding. But it sucked because bees don't sting glass. If you're gonna use metaphors use things that actually work.

I was being sarcastic

[jawkneephighv]

Read the rest of his stuff... he is by far the best writer on here
How's his asshole taste?
I was being sarcastic
Oops.

[xforestxwaitsx]

How's his asshole taste?

Oops.
no prob, just trust me.
Well, I don't know first-hand, you'd have to ask him since he's always got his head up his ass.

[ArTkY_]

no prob, just trust me.
Well, I don't know first-hand, you'd have to ask him since he's always got his head up his ass.
:( I've been nice to you and this is how you treat me

[jawkneephighv]

:( I've been nice to you and this is how you treat me
Love's a bitch.

[xforestxwaitsx]

:( I've been nice to you and this is how you treat me

I'm joking darling, don't get offended, I still love everyone.
except for a few select assholes here and there.

[ArTkY_]

I'm joking darling, don't get offended, I still love everyone.
except for a few select assholes here and there.
Cool, you can have the last 3 slices of pizza then.

[merv the perv]

It's just my style, I'm trying to show how some words are male or fem
such as:
male: penMANship raceHISm
female: pokeher sneakher etc
sorry if you don't like it. read more poetry (not necessarily by me).


I know it's your style, but penmanship is neither masculine nor feminine. In fact, I think most people would associate good penmanship with women, if anything. Poker is definitely more of a masculine thing. And how do you know how much poetry I do or do not read?

[stabmeNthefront]

I'm gonna have to agree with Merv the Perv on this one. While your poetry is much better than the sobbing emo kids' on here, the whole masculine/feminine thing throws me off. It would be better to leave it out. What you consider poetic, I consider POOetic. See that! I used your tricks against you. Now there's three categories... masculine/feminine/fecal. :animateds

[xforestxwaitsx]

I know it's your style, but penmanship is neither masculine nor feminine. In fact, I think most people would associate good penmanship with women, if anything. Poker is definitely more of a masculine thing. And how do you know how much poetry I do or do not read?

I think your missing the point. he's not necessarily giving them a masculine or feminine meaning, he's pointing out the connections

[merv the perv]

I think your missing the point. he's not necessarily giving them a masculine or feminine meaning, he's pointing out the connections


No, even he said "I'm showing how some words are either male or female."

[mercutio7]

No, even he said "I'm showing how some words are either male or female."

OK, you obviously take things far too literally. I'm not saying some words have a penis, and some have a vagina and breasts. I'm pointing out the connections.

[kimosabe]

OK, you obviously take things far too literally. I'm not saying some words have a penis, and some have a vagina and breasts. I'm pointing out the connections.
allow me to point out other connections
Terrible poet------>You
Razor blade------->Your wrist------>down the road, not across the street. ----->stop life.

[mercutio7]

allow me to point out other connections
Terrible poet------>You
Razor blade------->Your wrist------>down the road, not across the street. ----->stop life.


hmmm..... well, by no means do I consider myself amazing, or even that good...but terrible? I actually do more poetry slam than writing, but I have to write it before I perform it. I don't think I ever mentioned killing myself in any of my peoms..... but it may have been some hidden underlying theme you picked up with your breath taking wit. But, being the connoisseur of great poetry that I'm sure you are, I would feel honored for you to post a piece of poetry that is simply amazing. Original or not, I would feel honored to see the poems my are so pale in comparison to. I'll be waiting. Also, the predictable and witting post I'm sure your thinking of responding with, is really just you failing to back up your posts.

[kimosabe]

hmmm..... well, by no means do I consider myself amazing, or even that good...but terrible? I actually do more poetry slam than writing, but I have to write it before I perform it. I don't think I ever mentioned killing myself in any of my peoms..... but it may have been some hidden underlying theme you picked up with your breath taking wit. But, being the connoisseur of great poetry that I'm sure you are, I would feel honored for you to post a piece of poetry that is simply amazing. Original or not, I would feel honored to see the poems my are so pale in comparison to. I'll be waiting. Also, the predictable and witting post I'm sure your thinking of responding with, is really just you failing to back up your posts.
wow...you wrote all that and yet you miss the point. I never said I'm a great poet, nor do i have any plans of posting any poetry here. And the reason why i don't post poems is because i'm not a good poet. for the same reason i'm not gonna go and sign up for the extreme dirt bike championship- I am not good at dirtbiking. Neither are you. Point taken? and no that doesn't mean you shouldn't sign up for extreme dirt biking.

[mercutio7]

wow...you wrote all that and yet you miss the point. I never said I'm a great poet, nor do i have any plans of posting any poetry here. And the reason why i don't post poems is because i'm not a good poet. for the same reason i'm not gonna go and sign up for the extreme dirt bike championship- I am not good at dirtbiking. Neither are you. Point taken? and no that doesn't mean you shouldn't sign up for extreme dirt biking.

You also must have missed the point where I said it doesn't have to be original. I would like to see what you consider to be great poetry, since you have no problem slamming other peoples work, you must be equally adept at praising great poetry. I'll be waiting for it.

[kimosabe]

You also must have missed the point where I said it doesn't have to be original. I would like to see what you consider to be great poetry, since you have no problem slamming other peoples work, you must be equally adept at praising great poetry. I'll be waiting for it.
Best poem in the world:

Samme gamle historien, alltid like trist & lei:
jeg elsker deg, men du vil ikke ha meg.
Går hjem til en iskald seng, om beina bærer meg,
å et hue fullt av tømmermenn, som tenker kun på deg.
Ingenting: (eller mer) Ingenting: (eller mer)
Ingenting er vel mindre en det.
Samme gamle visa: alt jeg gjør blir bare tull.
Jeg blir aldri fri, drikker meg pære full.
Ensom-dritings-deppa, på vei hjem til en iskald seng,
slukner i urolig søvn, når ser jeg deg igjen?
Ingenting: (eller mer) Ingenting: (eller mer)
Ingenting er vel mindre en det.
Veien hjem er lengre enn lang og det er faens kaldt.
Det har frysi på i gata, jeg slo meg da jeg falt.
Nå synger jeg denne sangen, jeg har laga'n av meg sjøl.
En morra jeg var ensom og fyllesjuk og skjør:
Samme gamle visa alltid like trist og lei:
jeg elsker deg, men du vil ikke ha meg.
Jeg har prøvd alt sammen, nå: henta øl til deg,
banka eklinger for deg, sunget for deg, men
INGENTING ER BRA NOK FOR DEG

[mercutio7]

Best poem in the world:

Samme gamle historien, alltid like trist & lei:
jeg elsker deg, men du vil ikke ha meg.
Går hjem til en iskald seng, om beina bærer meg,
å et hue fullt av tømmermenn, som tenker kun på deg.
Ingenting: (eller mer) Ingenting: (eller mer)
Ingenting er vel mindre en det.
Samme gamle visa: alt jeg gjør blir bare tull.
Jeg blir aldri fri, drikker meg pære full.
Ensom-dritings-deppa, på vei hjem til en iskald seng,
slukner i urolig søvn, når ser jeg deg igjen?
Ingenting: (eller mer) Ingenting: (eller mer)
Ingenting er vel mindre en det.
Veien hjem er lengre enn lang og det er faens kaldt.
Det har frysi på i gata, jeg slo meg da jeg falt.
Nå synger jeg denne sangen, jeg har laga'n av meg sjøl.
En morra jeg var ensom og fyllesjuk og skjør:
Samme gamle visa alltid like trist og lei:
jeg elsker deg, men du vil ikke ha meg.
Jeg har prøvd alt sammen, nå: henta øl til deg,
banka eklinger for deg, sunget for deg, men
INGENTING ER BRA NOK FOR DEG

A translation to English would be convient, so we can better judge the quality of the poem. I'm sure it will be no problem for a poem jukie like yourself.

[kimosabe]

A translation to English would be convient, so we can better judge the quality of the poem. I'm sure it will be no problem for a poem jukie like yourself.
Well the fact that it is in norwegian is what makes it good. and the nuances in the language and the images the words create would not be the same in english, so therefore a translation wouldn't give you the correct experience. So go out and learn Norwegian, or any language other than american for that matter.

[mercutio7]

Well the fact that it is in norwegian is what makes it good. and the nuances in the language and the images the words create would not be the same in english, so therefore a translation wouldn't give you the correct experience. So go out and learn Norwegian, or any language other than american for that matter.

I'm sure that you and your internet translater are very happy together.

[kimosabe]

I'm sure that you and your internet translater are very happy together.
that made no sense what so ever.

[mercutio7]

that made no sense what so ever.

As in you don't speak Norwegian. You used a translater

[kimosabe]

As in you don't speak Norwegian. You used a translater
Idiot. I live in muthafuckin Norway, and if you check out some other threads you'll see that I'm speaking Norwegian with Andy, cos he's also from Norway. Nice way to be a closeminded cunt. you think everybody that can spell average english is american? Førrbainna hæstkuk!!!

[mercutio7]

Idiot. I live in muthafuckin Norway, and if you check out some other threads you'll see that I'm speaking Norwegian with Andy, cos he's also from Norway. Nice way to be a closeminded cunt. you think everybody that can spell average english is american? Førrbainna hæstkuk!!!

haha, you called me both a cunt and closed minded in the same sentence.

[merv the perv]

You can call someone a cunt and still be open-minded. It occurs in pornography all the time :).

[mercutio7]

You can call someone a cunt and still be open-minded. It occurs in pornography all the time :).

Because what's more worldly and open minded than broke 19 year olds being taken advantage of?

[merv the perv]

Because what's more worldly and open minded than broke 19 year olds being taken advantage of?

Absolutely nothin'.

[kimosabe]

Me > You

[IAmCountryMusic]

Me > You
do you wear wooden shoes?

[kimosabe]

do you wear wooden shoes?
only when i'm out dancing on graves.

[Deception]

I like it

[kimosabe]

I like it
dancing on graves? me to. I used to be more about the traditional waltz or tango, but lately i've found that if i knock the grave over first, i can do a headspin on it, and whindmills and all types of crazy b-boy shit.

[Deception]

dancing on graves? me to. I used to be more about the traditional waltz or tango, but lately i've found that if i knock the grave over first, i can do a headspin on it, and whindmills and all types of crazy b-boy shit.


I'd like to see you try and write something better.

[mercutio7]

I'd like to see you try and write something better.
But he can't, so all those insecurities come out on the internet, where he's not too scared to say obnoxious, bitter remarks to people like in the real world.

[Deception]

But he can't, so all those insecurities come out on the internet, where he's not too scared to say obnoxious, bitter remarks to people like in the real world.


So basically the internet is the window for him to become everything he could never be in real life?

[mercutio7]

So basically the internet is the window for him to become everything he could never be in real life?

Exactly

[IAmCountryMusic]

dancing on graves? me to. I used to be more about the traditional waltz or tango, but lately i've found that if i knock the grave over first, i can do a headspin on it, and whindmills and all types of crazy b-boy shit.
breakin' is so awesome :dweeba18:

[kimosabe]

So basically the internet is the window for him to become everything he could never be in real life?
A shitty poem is a shitty poem, and i would tell that to your face too. Unless you had huge breasts, in which case i would say that to your breasts.

[mercutio7]

A shitty poem is a shitty poem, and i would tell that to your face too. Unless you had huge breasts, in which case i would say that to your breasts.

You are the reason modern society is closed minded, and superficial.

[sweethypocrisy]

You are the reason modern society is closed minded, and superficial.
you are the reason america isnt the smartest country in the world.

[mercutio7]

you are the reason america isnt the smartest country in the world.

What the fuck is smart!? Holistic grading and standardised testing!!?? How the hell am I making America not smart?It doesn't need my fucking help. I want nothing to do with America

[merv the perv]

What the fuck is smart!? Holistic grading and standardised testing!!?? How the hell am I making America not smart?It doesn't need my fucking help. I want nothing to do with America

You're making America not smart the same way kimosabe is "the reason modern society is close-minded and superficial." If you dish it out, you have to be able to take it.

P.S. Breaking IS awesome! :dweeba18:

[Deception]

A shitty poem is a shitty poem, and i would tell that to your face too. Unless you had huge breasts, in which case i would say that to your breasts.


Alright, if her poem is so bad then write one of your own and post it. Dont knock it till you've tried it.

[sweethypocrisy]

1.hahahahhah
2.ahahhahahahah
3.hahahahahha
4.kimosabe has said 100 times that he cant write. but atleast he doesnt write stuff and post it and realizes he cant write, but he can still critisize.
5.hahahahahha
6. i cant believe you take him so seriously, THAT is why you arent smart. you fucking jackass. jesus christ, take your shitty poetry out to some island in the middle of nowhere that has no computers in a 100 mile radius so no one has to read your mindless drivel.










7.hahahahha

[mercutio7]

1.hahahahhah
2.ahahhahahahah
3.hahahahahha
4.kimosabe has said 100 times that he cant write. but atleast he doesnt write stuff and post it and realizes he cant write, but he can still critisize.
5.hahahahahha
6. i cant believe you take him so seriously, THAT is why you arent smart. you fucking jackass. jesus christ, take your shitty poetry out to some island in the middle of nowhere that has no computers in a 100 mile radius so no one has to read your mindless drivel.










7.hahahahha


Sorry the whole witty path didn't work out for you.....and that list format.... anyways, I really could care less if Kimosabe hated my poems, or even if he's a jackass about it. Again, I really don't think my stuff is good. But I would like to see what a non shitty poem is. You don't have to write it, I would just like to see what a well written poem looks like in your eyes.

[sweethypocrisy]

(i typed all this out from a book so you better read it all :) )
"i love new york in february"
"there is a class that controls a country that is stupid and does not realize anything and never can, that is why we have this war"~Ernest hemmingway, a farewell to arms.
There's a sting in the air
like breathing too much aerosol
the comrades are restless
with blank stares they learned in boot camp

Your eyes are loose teeth
teething on insides
Poorly drawn war paint
runs in hot tears
evaporating in the steam of the sewers

Concession stands cant keep up with the crowds
forming on 5th ave.
stomping for a recount
and a quick camera angle
Acute like the bend of the arm

The poetic nature of real life sprayed in gas clouds
tossed by brick through windows
the highly political nature of the length the underarms
sits side stage
as bomb threat sirens ring from the bus station

Ps101 is out of session this afternoon
due to paper towl rolls disguised as pipe bombs
kids on lock down pick gum off the bottom of their desks
with fluorescent rulers
that state murphys law of "whatever can go wrong, will"

A game of contra is on pause
in the subways of 42nd street
Grey snakes whip through concrete arches
bringing white power donuts to the attention of train
attendees.

"they shot down our space ship!" rang though the station
this morning
The mourners navigate though early morning congestion
saluting our flag in an attempt at courage
while outside ducking from crop planes slung low

This wave of filth takes a deep breath, hiccups and coughs
filling the sewers with rats' blood
tonight will be fair warning
and oak tag banners
hung loosely over shoulders

"ler freedom ring! lord god almighty let freedom ring!"
in our ears as we sleep
and digress
till the wave breaks and salts this bare sunrise...

by andrew low

[kimosabe]

Again, I really don't think my stuff is good. .
That's like the only non-retarded thing you ever wrote.