new thing im workin with

[takingback98]

i havent really edited it at all yet so leave me some ideas for new lines and which ones should be replaced

have you read one of those stories without an ending
thats what your like to me
the pages im franticly searching and flipping
but your like one of those unsolved mystery
even when i hit the paperback cover
it ends in a contradicting imcomplete sentence
so i stay awake each night and wonder my self to sleep
what did i ever do to deserve this

we're like the cycle of the sun
we rise, shine, and set
you know your my sunshine
my oh so bright sunshine
you know your my sunshine
so lets let this sunset

belive me babe, i love this mess
maybe a little too much
maybe i could a lot less
but your twists and turns are such a rush
and you know me better then anyone
wheter you want to or not
so come take a ride in my car hun
into the ocean where lovers can rot

we're like the cycle of the sun
we rise, shine, and set
you know your my sunshine
my oh so bright sunshine
you know your my sunshine
so lets let this sunset
lets let this sun.............

[apoemtothedead]

Stop working. It won't be good.

[takingback98]

its cool destructive critisism is always sweet

[xforestxwaitsx]

needs some work.....i'll read it again if you repost with corrections

[ArTkY_]

Stop working with it.

[xforestxwaitsx]

Stop working with it.

okay, yeah, i was thinking that too. i just wanted to give you more of a chance than he did.