Confused about friendship with ex

[Live&Learn]

So I was dating a guy for a year and we were pretty serious, but we had broken up and lost contact for about six months while he was seeing someone else.. We recently got back in touch and had a long discussion about how we really still meant alot to eachother and generally cared for eachother. We started hanging out and it seemed like old times but with two more mature people. After about a week of what seemed like great progress he kind of freaked and said that he really cared about me but he didn't want a relationship right now but would want one in the future becaue he hadnt had a long period of time to himself to be single. Understandable, but it was hard for me because I had been single since we broke up. After he told me that he we continued to talk everyday and hook up, which seemed like a relationship without the title. After a while it got too hard and I realized that I wanted a relationship now and was uncomfortable with the situation we were in and didn't want it to turn into a "casual" thing. I explained to him that I wanted to be with him again now and he said that he couldn't give me that right now so I said we should not talk until I can shake these feelings. He told me that he thought it sucked and that he cared about me but I have the mind set where if he wanted to be with me, he would WANT to be with me and not so determined to be single. And I don't want to wait around because what if I never get a relationship and all that time and energy is wasted. Did I make the wrong decision? Should I tell him I'm sorry and be his friend and deal with these on my own or do i attempt to make him think he made the wrong decision?

[dezi]

Stop talking to him for a while and see if HE comes around.

[DaveZeroZero]

tl;dr

but you should try anal, whatever your problem.

[Live&Learn]

And if he doesn't, should I tell him that we can just be friends but if he had a relationship in mind for us in the future to forget it?

[DaveZeroZero]

Sure, do that.

[kemichels]

And if he doesn't, should I tell him that we can just be friends but if he had a relationship in mind for us in the future to forget it?


sounds like a plan. You seem like you're making a mature decision. Don't get strung along. The benefit for him is that he gets to technically "be single" but fall back on you whenever he wants...where you're just too emotionally invested in this point to be able to do the same. From experience, you get the shorter end of the stick, and most likely it can leave you in a whole lot of hurt.

[kemichels]

tl;dr

but you should try anal, whatever your problem.


p.s, Dave...I've come to realize our minds usually head for the same things with personal issues in this forum.

[BlueVioletMUM]

All I can say is through my own personal experience is it is hard to just be friends with someone you have feelings for...I have done it with a guy who I was ready to date but he wasn't ready...we continued to hang out the same as we had been...I loved spending time with him but it was also hard to be around him and know that it would never get to that point. I can say though, now, I don't have those feelings anymore, just enjoy his company...and we still hang out from time to time.

[DaveZeroZero]

p.s, Dave...I've come to realize our minds usually head for the same things with personal issues in this forum.
char char charrrrr :-p

[kemichels]

char char charrrrr :-p


:thumbup:

[MarsEatWorld]

Hahahahahahahhhaaha

[DaveZeroZero]

:thumbup:
So what's new with you?

[kemichels]

So what's new with you?


nothing too exciting except for the Manchester Orchestra show I went to the other day. I have my last final exam of my college career tomorrow (freaking scary as hell, lol), so tonight will be spent studying for that, playing left 4 dead, or browsing around AP.net. I've come to realize that I have the attention span of a 9 year old ADHD kid addicted to crack. I've also come to realize that I haven't made any awesome drunk charmander posts in forever, so I'm pretty sure I'm devoting my weekend to drinking.

how about you? your avatar is priceless, by the way...and your blog mentioned Empires. Just saw them the other day..sooooooooooo good.


p.s. OP, where you from in Milwaukee?

[DaveZeroZero]

nothing too exciting except for the Manchester Orchestra show I went to the other day. I have my last final exam of my college career tomorrow (freaking scary as hell, lol), so tonight will be spent studying for that, playing left 4 dead, or browsing around AP.net. I've come to realize that I have the attention span of a 9 year old ADHD kid addicted to crack. I've also come to realize that I haven't made any awesome drunk charmander posts in forever, so I'm pretty sure I'm devoting my weekend to drinking.

how about you? your avatar is priceless, by the way...and your blog mentioned Empires. Just saw them the other day..sooooooooooo good.


p.s. OP, where you from in Milwaukee?
I wish I could've seen MO =[

What are you studying at college? I have the same attention problems - it's proving somewhat problematic haha

Absolutely nothing is new with me, but I'm going to a party tomorrow night, so at least I'll be out of the house. And thanks =]

[kemichels]

I have a feeling she joined just to ask this question, and will probably never visit this thread again. lol

[MarsEatWorld]

i was supposed to go to Manchester Orchestra...I was pissed that day so I didn't go =[

[kemichels]

I wish I could've seen MO =[

What are you studying at college? I have the same attention problems - it's proving somewhat problematic haha

Absolutely nothing is new with me, but I'm going to a party tomorrow night, so at least I'll be out of the house. And thanks =]


Niceee...yeah I'm going out for a freinds' 21st tomorrow, so that'll be cool and I'll probably get more tanked than her. lol.

I'm studying Psych...but in the process of taking the LSAT and applying for Law School. My test is in a class about Counseling Psych and it's the biggest joke of a class ever. The teacher went on asking the class what part of a big mac we would be...for like...a half hour, the other day. She's a joke. At any rate, the test shouldn't be too hard...Subject material all seems so commonsense. But then again...it might make the test HARDER because I won't be thinking about what kind of specific things I need to remember...if that makes sense. (?) lol.

[kemichels]

i was supposed to go to Manchester Orchestra...I was pissed that day so I didn't go =[


yeah l0ser. You missed out. PS, we need to talk on aim lol. I've been away from my comp for too long.

[MarsEatWorld]

yeah l0ser. You missed out. PS, we need to talk on aim lol. I've been away from my comp for too long.
Haha.
I IMed you the other day and was like
wow okay ignore me.

[DaveZeroZero]

Niceee...yeah I'm going out for a freinds' 21st tomorrow, so that'll be cool and I'll probably get more tanked than her. lol.

I'm studying Psych...but in the process of taking the LSAT and applying for Law School. My test is in a class about Counseling Psych and it's the biggest joke of a class ever. The teacher went on asking the class what part of a big mac we would be...for like...a half hour, the other day. She's a joke. At any rate, the test shouldn't be too hard...Subject material all seems so commonsense. But then again...it might make the test HARDER because I won't be thinking about what kind of specific things I need to remember...if that makes sense. (?) lol.
You see, I get to go straight into law school next year =] I'll be fully qualified by the time I'm 24 or so haha

[kemichels]

You see, I get to go straight into law school next year =] I'll be fully qualified by the time I'm 24 or so haha


what the tits? is that how it works over there you British bastard?!

[DaveZeroZero]

what the tits? is that how it works over there you British bastard?!
You bet. You can either do a regular degree + an extra year and then do a year of law school followed by 2 years of training in the workplace or you can go straight to a law degree, qualify to skip that extra year, do the year of law school and then do the training. It's sweet.

[kemichels]

If I don't get into law school here, I'm coming to England.

[MarsEatWorld]

This one chick I hate goes to Oxford.
I will never come close to England if she is there.

[kemichels]

This one chick I hate goes to Oxford.
I will never come close to England if she is there.


you will if I am there!

[Live&Learn]

Thanks for all of your advice! I appreciate it!

[MarsEatWorld]

you will if I am there!
:] true.

[MarsEatWorld]

only because I fantasize about fucking a pokemon

[m_rue]

I think you made the right decision. You shouldn't be in a kind of relationship you're not happy with, even though you really care about him.

[Live&Learn]

Yeah I know, It's just hard...he always seems to make it seem like I have a chance. Like when I told him we shouldn't talk anymore he'd be like ok that's gay but if thats what you really want... I don't know! it sucks!! haha

[brentkid]

Bail.

[kaycey]

tl;dr

but you should try anal, whatever your problem.
this^

[DaveZeroZero]

only because I fantasize about fucking a pokemon
char char charrrr

[MarsEatWorld]

char char charrrr
I'm afraid you aren't charmander....

[DaveZeroZero]

I'm afraid you aren't charmander....
Yeah, but I'll burn you.

[MarsEatWorld]

Yeah, but I'll burn you.
Hahaha.
be squirtle.

[DaveZeroZero]

Hahaha.
be squirtle.
plz do.

[MarsEatWorld]

plz do.
is that a yes?

[DaveZeroZero]

is that a yes?
to you squirting? Of course!

[MarsEatWorld]

to you squirting? Of course!
No no you be my squirtle.

but I would be squirtle if I were a pokemon
or that like huffy something

[DaveZeroZero]

No no you be my squirtle.

but I would be squirtle if I were a pokemon
or that like huffy something
I'll squirtle all over your face.

[MarsEatWorld]

I'll squirtle all over your face.
You haven't earned that right yet.

[acfrue]

Squirtle used Water Gun, CRITICAL HIT!!! Enemy Charmander fainted!!!