I Will Never Understand Women

[Burning Star IV]

Okay, so here's the deal. This is something I've been thinking about a lot over this past day or so. There's a story so bear with me. This has to do with my older brother who was recently engaged.

So my older brother and his girlfriend met during their first year at college. It was their first and only real relationship. After two years together they moved to go another school to finish their degrees. They were both taking the same 2-year diploma when they met, and planned on finishing at the other school. She got accepted into the program, he didn't. So he took general for two years until he decided to pursue Early Childhood Education. His girlfriend graduated in 2007, but my brother is set to graduated this spring. Now that she is done school, she has been pressuring him to get married. He is 24 and she is 23. It took about a year or so, but about a month ago he popped the question, and she said yes. All is well.

Until I hear yesterday from my Mother some terrible news. About a week ago, my brother's girlfriend went out drinking with her friends. The next morning, she told my brother that she had cheated on him, and that she couldn't marry him anymore (it wasn't disclosed who she cheated with, but like that makes a difference). To add insult to injury, instead of my brother getting pissed and whatnot, she does, and just leaves him. These two have a whole life together. An apartment, a car, a cat, a chinchilla, and four ferrets. My brother works part-time and an electronics retailer and a daycare, plus school to boot. And she just leaves him?

I'm struggling to come to terms with the situation. By older brother is very sensitive (much like myself) and I'm worried something bad might happen. He's not eating, sleeping, or going to work or school. It's not like his girlfriend is a bad person. On the contrary. I've met her several times, and she's very nice and an all-round cool person. I just don't know what to tell my brother. Any advice? Ladies, is there any reason given the situation why you think my brother's girlfriend left him, despite the fact my brother did nothing wrong.

(Note: Anal and tldr are all acceptable responses.)

[.invisible ink.]

they're young, better it happens now before the expensive wedding and splitting everything bs. it sucks but it's completely to be expected.

just be there for your brother, there's nothing you or anyone else can say to fix what happened. unless you suggest that he perform anal on her, that might actually work.

[raychull]

I'm really sorry for your brother. but Erika said it best. just have to be there for him.

[anamericangod]

Do you think she did it as an excuse to leave him? Seems kinda drastic that she would just bail on him after it, especially since they had such a life together.

[googirl8907]

That is really crappy of her to do. I think Joe might have a point though about her doing this as an out. Even though it was a horrible thing for her to do at least she did it now and not after they got married.

[Burning Star IV]

I just can't even fathom her doing something like this. Joe's comments makes the most sense, but I really hope that's not the reason.

[googirl8907]

Maybe the idea of marriage freaked her out the more she thought about it?

[Kassie09]

Not that it excuses anything she did(especially if she did cheat) but maybe she got really afraid of the whole marriage thing and needed time to think. Maybe in a few days she will realize what she's done and come back to him..and if he'd even want to be with her anymore,they can talk things out.

That is absolutely horrible though, I feel so bad for your brother.

[11:11]

I can't justify her reasoning (whatever it may be), but if she's the type to leave after a mistake she made, when it sounds like she would have been forgiven, then their marriage would have had problems anyway.

[Greg]

girls are big bags of crazy. sure some of them are crazy in unique ways and mostl say they are the exception to this... but they are all nuts in their own way. i could give some examples if you want them. my room mate and i are friends with really crazy girls apparently haha

[spansen]

they're a mystery to all of us. sorry that he got fucked over.

[chasingsafety]

i had something like this happen to me, all you have to do is take it as a big kick in the face. that
1. if she can do this now. what happens when you have kids
2. do you really want to marry this nut job
3. never let a girl go "drinking with her friends" nothing good come of it

[more heart]

what a fucking bitch, good luck

[Burning Star IV]

See, the thing is, she's not crazy. She's not a bad person.

[chasingsafety]

maybe not. but would a well together person who is mature and ready for marriage do something like this?
no, not really, they would sit their partner down and discuss how they are feeling.
not cheat/passive aggressively run off with that excuse, either one

[Burning Star IV]

Yeah, I don't know. But whose to say that you wouldn't do the same. She may be afraid to talk to him about it because of the way he might react.

[amysaurus]

She probably didn't realize how big of a commitment marriage really is and so one night of drinking with her girlfriends convinced her to bail. That's really unfortunate though and I hope things work out

[Burning Star IV]

My parents are trying to get him to come home for a few days, but he can't leave because there's no one to look after his pets, and because he can't get time off work.

[chasingsafety]

any pics of this girl?
does she have the crazy eyes?

[Burning Star IV]

Well considering I'm sure they wouldn't want me posting their personal problems on the internets, I'm going to refrain from posting a pic for the sake of anonymity.

[xxCarpeDiem]

I don't know. I really don't understand either. My cousin kinda did the same thing. He had been dating this girl since middle school, first and only relationship for both, she cheated on him and they broke up in college. I guess it's just life. "/

Surprisingly, he moved on really fast and got a new girlfriend. It surprised me.

Basically, I think it's one of those things thqat just needs time and support. I wouldn't know what to say either, but I'm really sensitive as well. And though I haven't dated anyone that long, I'm super clingy and dependent, so it affects me pretty similarly. Again, time and support, I suppose. Sorry I couldn't help more. :(

[thicky eight]

lolwomen

[bigblue2015]

OP's story makes me lose faith in the human race. I hope things turned out alright for his brother...?

[samsara]

Maybe she isn't a bad person and she ended up thinking twice about getting married. Instead of breaking up with your brother she decided to do something stupid hoping that your brother would dump her. She may have felt like she was heading into this really fast when it was too late and the only thing to do to stop it was something drastic.

[awakeohsleeper]

An apartment, a car, a cat, a chinchilla, and four ferrets.

That line stuck out for me. Four ferrets? Man, that's a shame. Girls, eh?

I haven't really got any good advice. Just being there for people helps. Hopefully he'll be able to pull through. I hope you are okay too. It must be hard seeing your brother in a bad place.

Edit: Sorry, didn't check the date. Didn't realise this was old. How's your brother now?

[screamoutmyname]

In response to thread title: Join the club.

[awakeohsleeper]

And damn, I've just realised this was an old post. I really must check dates before posting.

[Jake Denning]

OP's story makes me lose faith in the human race. I hope things turned out alright for his brother...?

Stories like this seem to be why Vincent from The Acacia Strain is one big order of angry.

[zion the lion]

This is why I dont date

and whats up with all these old threads being bumped?

[Michifoxx]

I will never understand a guy

[Michifoxx]

Psh..she was the one who pressured him into getting married...n then she is the one who leaves him... wow..? I dont get it.

[lovely864md]

Women are and will always be fucking crazy. And when we freak out and don't know what to do, we make the most illogical choice possible.

But the priority right now is your brother, from what you said I think he is going to really need someone to lean on right now. I watched my big brother go through this, he dated a girl for 3 and half years, she was his first real girlfriend and he had started asking my parents when it was appropriate to buy a ring. Then out of the blue she broke up with him and started dated a new guy not even two months later. Completely nice, levelheaded, loving girl, and it completely came out of nowhere. And he was a huge fucking mess, stopped shaving, stopped caring about anything. It's really sad and scary to watch a sibling go through that.

Edit: This is old as fuck? Right, I feel stupid.

[tawtaw]

End her life.

[AndrewIcex]

That girl who fucked over that OP's brother... needs sniped.

and

The person who brought this old thread to the surface... needs sniped.