In the Midst of Morning

[MCSmate]

In the Midst of Morning

Sitting upright on a bed in the light of morning
The quietness of 7am is quite pleasing
She turns to look out the window at the brightening sky
Looking back into the room which is slowly losing darkness, she closes the blinds
She lets herself fall down underneath the blankets
She lets the covers of the bed embrace her entire body and move with her every turn to the other side
There's a calming sense of going to bed this early or maybe late
But she likes the sense of a cold room, morning sky, and warm blanket to hide under
It is what she is usually used to
Just as she knows she will be waking up in a few hours anyway
Her day has not yet begun, for she is only now encountering her night



Note: I have no other idea for a title so that will be it for now
And this is an improvisational piece in which my friend and I were sending pieces back to each other

[lew_1987]

I like the imagery, which was pretty descriptive, but I think that end was a little weak... maybe you could find a better way to sum the piece up? I'd also check this for spelling errors if I was you.

[MCSmate]

I like the imagery, which was pretty descriptive, but I think that end was a little weak... maybe you could find a better way to sum the piece up? I'd also check this for spelling errors if I was you.

Thanks. This was just me sending an improvisational piece to a friend, as we were sending them back and forth. Maybe I will change the ending. And also I don't know about the spelling errors you're talking about. I fixed one thing but that was only adding an apostrophe. Thanks though.

[thespearkid]

The first four lines are really good. After that, things get a little uninteresting and wordy.

[lew_1987]

Thanks. This was just me sending an improvisational piece to a friend, as we were sending them back and forth. Maybe I will change the ending. And also I don't know about the spelling errors you're talking about. I fixed one thing but that was only adding an apostrophe. Thanks though.


Sitting upright on a bed in the light of morning
The quietness of 7am in quite pleasing
She turns to look out the window at the brightening sky
Looking back into the room which is slowly losing darkness, she closes the blinds
She let's herself fall down underneath the blankets
She let's the covers of the bed embrace her entire body and move with her every turn to the other side
There's a calming sense of going to bed this early or maybe late
But she likes the sense of a cold room, morning sky, and warm blanket to hide under
It is what she is usually used to
Just as she knows she will be walking up in a few hours anyway
Her day has not yet begun, for she is only now encountering her night


Mistakes bolded there.

[MCSmate]

Mistakes bolded there.

Ah, I see. I thought it was just spelling errors in general... I didn't even notice those. Actually making sure to proofread is one of my goals this coming new year, so I should get on that.

[xmy.only.exitx]

the sense of suspense triggered in the first four lines was, i would say, quite ruthlessly murdered by the fact that she chose to go under the covers again. and even then i would have expected some undercover (pun there) action but was sorely disappointed.