Fuckmaxbemis has problems. (girls, please help)

[Fuckmaxbemis]

dude....no.

[Kassie09]

I'm not really sure what you want us to tell you..
I think you're just going to have to get really comfortable with one girl and then..you won't feel that way.

[wewascontenders]

i'd say get some time in at the local strip club.

[anamericangod]

Give up on your dream girl. She will never love you.

Do more acid until you have figured out all of life's problems. Fuck learning from experience. Just do drugs.

[Fuckmaxbemis]

Well then fuck you. That was really an insignificant factor.

As for what I am expecting you to say, maybe offer things I can do to really not decline my respect for women but tone down the amount of chivalry I have. I liked this girl once, and she had a friend who would give her back massages and what not in front of me, and I always wondered why I couldnt do that, since we almost went out.

I'm just afraid and maybe women could offer experiences where a guy touched them and how they felt about it. Maybe it was someone they didn't like. I don't know, there's just something in the female mentality that I don't understand here, I think.

[Kassie09]

For some reason, I understand what you're saying even though this appears to make no sense.
However, I don't know how to explain what I want to say, maybe once I sleep I can word it right.

[Fuckmaxbemis]

Any way you can is fine. I just for some reason can not touch a girl because I am utterly afraid of offending them.

[Kassie09]

Is it like..in front of people? Do you think if you were in private it wouldn't be so weird? I mean, PDA is gross..so....? I really don't think you're going to ever ever offend a girl hugging her or holding her hand or anything!

[anamericangod]

Well then fuck you. That was really an insignificant factor.

As for what I am expecting you to say, maybe offer things I can do to really not decline my respect for women but tone down the amount of chivalry I have. I liked this girl once, and she had a friend who would give her back massages and what not in front of me, and I always wondered why I couldnt do that, since we almost went out.

I'm just afraid and maybe women could offer experiences where a guy touched them and how they felt about it. Maybe it was someone they didn't like. I don't know, there's just something in the female mentality that I don't understand here, I think.

My second comment was clearly being sarcastic.

How old are you? I have no idea what sort of age group we are talking about here.

[Fuckmaxbemis]

Is it like..in front of people? Do you think if you were in private it wouldn't be so weird? I mean, PDA is gross..so....? I really don't think you're going to ever ever offend a girl hugging her or holding her hand or anything!

Yeah, it's not just PDA. I guess another thing I should consider is rejection?

My second comment was clearly being sarcastic.

How old are you? I have no idea what sort of age group we are talking about here.

I'm an upperclassmen in high school.

[TheSkyline]

Are you trying to be a dick?

[anamericangod]

Yeah, it's not just PDA. I guess another thing I should consider is rejection?



I'm an upperclassmen in high school.

Alright, a few things. I don't know exactly what you want to hear, but this is just my opinion.

You sound like you're nervous around girls that you are into. That's pretty normal. Eventually it gets to the point where you just have to say fuck it and either tell the girl, or make it obvious some other way. Do you ask them to go do stuff with you? Are they into the same stuff you are? I'm assuming you aren't some huge creeper or the guy from Hey Arnold who breathes really heavy.

What's the worst they can say? "Not interested, sorry." So she's not into you, big deal.

Try to muster up some confidence and just be yourself. There's 3.5 billion girls out there. If things don't work out as well as you'd want during the shit fest that is high school, don't fret.

[.invisible ink.]

Alright, a few things. I don't know exactly what you want to hear, but this is just my opinion.

You sound like you're nervous around girls that you are into. That's pretty normal. Eventually it gets to the point where you just have to say fuck it and either tell the girl, or make it obvious some other way. Do you ask them to go do stuff with you? Are they into the same stuff you are? I'm assuming you aren't some huge creeper or the guy from Hey Arnold who breathes really heavy.

What's the worst they can say? "Not interested, sorry." So she's not into you, big deal.

Try to muster up some confidence and just be yourself. There's 3.5 billion girls out there. If things don't work out as well as you'd want during the shit fest that is high school, don't fret.

this is excellent advice. Sorry I don't have anything additional to add, I think he summed it up quite well.

[speakhandsforme]

Alright, I'm going to do my best not to be an asshole here. We'll see.

I am pretty successful with women, which is something that can be achieved by any one person, no matter their deficiencies so there is little if any inhibition on this being a transmittable trait. I am naturally good with words but, gladly, even if you're not, getting to the part where talking is welcomed is 60% the battle. It's all about creating an impression with little subtleties.

You say you're quiet by nature. That is fine. Along with being comfortable appearing as confident, there are some mannerisms I'd like you to also get comfortable with. When you meet a girl always make eye contact and smile upon first exchange. Never act insecure but don't seem actively inserting yourself: just maintain a passive amusement with your surroundings. Keep your eyebrows raised and the corners of your mouth pointing out or up. Now, when interacting with a girl confidence should be maintained. I want you to mix self-promotion with self-deprecation when you speak in party scenes, always in a light manner, never in seriousness. It creates a sense of connection. This is the part where you have to get hooks in. If you even have the slightest feeling the girl in interested, I want you to seize an opening(s) to perhaps kiddingly state the thought that YOU think that SHE is charmed by YOU or, and in definite humor, is sexually attracted to you.

The goal of the whole process is to guise your shyness. You want to appear as being comfortable with silence, not silent because you're uncomfortable with interaction. After some success, you should be comfortable enough to just be yourself.

EDIT: But, also, please try to keep your personal problems out of this forum if your in the market for actual advise. I reallly think you're just romanticizing the problems of a young teenager.

[andrew4045]

You sound like a flamboyant homosexual

[aircourtneys]

I'm not gonna lie I only clicked on this because of your name....but the man with the picture of Max other than myself has some kickass advice. It's hard but just go for it, find a girl that you have things in common with. Go to a show talk to a girl there? I dunno get outta your comfort zone and if they say no. Than oh well that sucks try someone else.

[ArmedROBery]

Now, when interacting with a girl (liquid courage is encouraged {I'm implying alcohol}), confidence, better yet a controlled arrogance, needs to be maintained. I want you to mix self-promotion with self-defecation when you speak in party scenes, always in a light manner, never in seriousness. It creates a sense of connection, even if subconsciously.
.

I'm no wordsmith, but I believe you mean self-deprecation.

[speakhandsforme]

I'm no wordsmith, but I believe you mean self-deprecation.

hahahaha, yes. I didn't mean to say he should shit his pants.

[silentstar1134]

Alright, I'm going to do my best not to be an asshole here. But sometimes the effort is in futility.

I am pretty successful with women, which is something that can be achieved by any one person, no matter their deficiencies so there is little if any inhibition on this being a transmittable trait. I am naturally good with words but, gladly, even if you're not, getting to the part where talking is welcomed is 60% the battle. It's all about creating an impression with little subtleties.

You say you're quiet by nature. That is fine. What I advise you to do is just envision yourself as arrogantly upbeat, as someone who sees himself as being very smart and successful: hell, relevantly, I want you to picture yourself as Max Bemis, with all that poetic bravado.

Along with being comfortable appearing as confident, there are some mannerisms I'd like you to also get comfortable with. When you meet a girl (for the first or 100th time) always make eye contact accompanied by a smile upon first exchange. Never act insecure or uncomfortable but don't seem actively inserting yourself: just maintain a passive amusement with your surrounding. Keep your eyebrows raised and the corners of your mouth pointing out or up. Passive confidence is the goal here.

Now, when interacting with a girl (liquid courage is encouraged {I'm implying alcohol}), confidence, better yet a controlled arrogance, needs to be maintained. I want you to mix self-promotion with self-deprecation when you speak in party scenes, always in a light manner, never in seriousness. It creates a sense of connection, even if subconsciously.

This is the part where you have to get hooks in. If you even have the slightest feeling the girl in interested, I want you to seize an opening(s) to perhaps kiddingly state the thought that YOU think that SHE is charmed by YOU or, and in definite humor, is sexually attracted to you. It's surprising but it will actually help tip the scale as she will begin to believe more firmly there is something there.

The goal of the whole process is to guise your shyness. You want to appear as being comfortable with silence, not silent because you're uncomfortable with interaction.

It's all functional sociology.
Alright, doctor fucking Phil is out.

EDIT: But, also, please try to keep your personal problems out of this forum if your in the market for actual advise. I reallly think you're just romanticizing the problems of a young teenager.

The pick up artist part 3 featuring you...lol just messing with you. To be honest, you have to have at least a little amount of spitting game. That means just finding a confort zone when you are around girls. Although some believe you should put on a "show" to get a girl it really depends what your trying to do. If your trying to get a gf I would DISCOURAGE this kind of behavior. Otherwise you might end up with someone that you find that you hate. If your looking for a "hook up" than I would take his advise. But If I were to suggest things for you it would be to find our confort zone and realize that you are good enough to pick up girls. Just be yourself man, but be more confident in yourself.

[swt_catastrophe]

Alright, I'm going to do my best not to be an asshole here. But sometimes the effort is in futility.

I am pretty successful with women, which is something that can be achieved by any one person, no matter their deficiencies so there is little if any inhibition on this being a transmittable trait. I am naturally good with words but, gladly, even if you're not, getting to the part where talking is welcomed is 60% the battle. It's all about creating an impression with little subtleties.

You say you're quiet by nature. That is fine. What I advise you to do is just envision yourself as arrogantly upbeat, as someone who sees himself as being very smart and successful: hell, relevantly, I want you to picture yourself as Max Bemis, with all that poetic bravado.

Along with being comfortable appearing as confident, there are some mannerisms I'd like you to also get comfortable with. When you meet a girl (for the first or 100th time) always make eye contact accompanied by a smile upon first exchange. Never act insecure or uncomfortable but don't seem actively inserting yourself: just maintain a passive amusement with your surrounding. Keep your eyebrows raised and the corners of your mouth pointing out or up. Passive confidence is the goal here.

Now, when interacting with a girl (liquid courage is encouraged {I'm implying alcohol}), confidence, better yet a controlled arrogance, needs to be maintained. I want you to mix self-promotion with self-deprecation when you speak in party scenes, always in a light manner, never in seriousness. It creates a sense of connection, even if subconsciously.

This is the part where you have to get hooks in. If you even have the slightest feeling the girl in interested, I want you to seize an opening(s) to perhaps kiddingly state the thought that YOU think that SHE is charmed by YOU or, and in definite humor, is sexually attracted to you. It's surprising but it will actually help tip the scale as she will begin to believe more firmly there is something there.

The goal of the whole process is to guise your shyness. You want to appear as being comfortable with silence, not silent because you're uncomfortable with interaction.

It's all functional sociology.
Alright, doctor fucking Phil is out.

EDIT: But, also, please try to keep your personal problems out of this forum if your in the market for actual advise. I reallly think you're just romanticizing the problems of a young teenager.
all sound advice. and i definitely have to second pretty much everything you say.
also.. loving the optimism.

[speakhandsforme]

The pick up artist part 3 featuring you...lol just messing with you. To be honest, you have to have at least a little amount of spitting game. That means just finding a confort zone when you are around girls. Although some believe you should put on a "show" to get a girl it really depends what your trying to do. If your trying to get a gf I would DISCOURAGE this kind of behavior. Otherwise you might end up with someone that you find that you hate. If your looking for a "hook up" than I would take his advise. But If I were to suggest things for you it would be to find our confort zone and realize that you are good enough to pick up girls. Just be yourself man, but be more confident in yourself.

Haha, yes, it isn't meant to be used in the realm of really connecting with a targeted girl. For a high school kid and paralyzed around females, which he seems to be, you have to dip your toe in the water. Looking for a life partner at such an age is so fucking ridiculous.

[speakhandsforme]

all sound advice. and i definitely have to second pretty much everything you say.
also.. loving the optimism.

Haha, it's not optimism, it's realism. I appreciate the agreement though.

[silentstar1134]

Haha, yes, it isn't meant to be used in the realm of really connecting with a targeted girl. For a high school kid and paralyzed around females, which he seems to be, you have to dip your toe in the water. Looking for a life partner at such an age is so fucking ridiculous.

I never said "life partner". I was just talking about a gf. If he's just trying to get some action he should take your advice, its just that I didn't really know what he is looking for.

[ZeroGravity107]

I don't think it's my looks, or even my awkward or quiet nature. I just can't make contact because I am so fucking afraid of touching women or telling them I like them beyond friends. Maybe it's because I have the notion that if I say such a thing and they end up not feeling the same way, things are going to be awkward beyond belief.

The only thing you can do is start "touching" these girls. Take chances.

If you never risk anything, for one you'll never know what could of, but most importantly you'll never learn.

Take chances, get rejected, get lucky, whatever. Take chances man.

[MADSTA]

Just tell her how you feel. If she feels the same way, awesome. If she doesn't, well shit happens and you move on. At least then you know that it wasn't meant to be and stop pining over her.

[lovely864md]

Alright, I'm going to do my best not to be an asshole here. We'll see.

I am pretty successful with women, which is something that can be achieved by any one person, no matter their deficiencies so there is little if any inhibition on this being a transmittable trait. I am naturally good with words but, gladly, even if you're not, getting to the part where talking is welcomed is 60% the battle. It's all about creating an impression with little subtleties.

You say you're quiet by nature. That is fine. Along with being comfortable appearing as confident, there are some mannerisms I'd like you to also get comfortable with. When you meet a girl always make eye contact accompanied by a smile upon first exchange. Never act insecure but don't seem actively inserting yourself: just maintain a passive amusement with your surrounding. Keep your eyebrows raised and the corners of your mouth pointing out or up. Passive confidence is the goal here.

Now, when interacting with a girl confidence should be maintained. I want you to mix self-promotion with self-deprecation when you speak in party scenes, always in a light manner, never in seriousness. It creates a sense of connection, even if subconsciously. This is the part where you have to get hooks in. If you even have the slightest feeling the girl in interested, I want you to seize an opening(s) to perhaps kiddingly state the thought that YOU think that SHE is charmed by YOU or, and in definite humor, is sexually attracted to you.

The goal of the whole process is to guise your shyness. You want to appear as being comfortable with silence, not silent because you're uncomfortable with interaction. After some success, you should be comfortable enough to just be yourself.

EDIT: But, also, please try to keep your personal problems out of this forum if your in the market for actual advise. I reallly think you're just romanticizing the problems of a young teenager.

I am utterly amazed that you have put this much thought into it.

It makes me think of some strange society where all guys act exactly like this.

[Maxwell]

fuckaxbemis has problems? i just farted under my sheets in bed and now its getting out...stuff is nasty.

[speakhandsforme]

I am utterly amazed that you have put this much thought into it.

It makes me think of some strange society where all guys act exactly like this.

No, you see, interraction with women comes naturally to me.

But, with that said, women are just as easy to predict as men as far as psychology goes. No girl wiill go for him if he isn't confident or doesn't appear so. And that gameplan is best bet for this kid.

[thesafeword]

You just seem nervous taking girls beyond a friendship level, for whatever reason, and with this girl you obviously fallen into the friend zone, and I know that you don't want to hear this, but there is virtually no way out.

[thesafeword]

You sound like a flamboyant homosexual
And you're masking your homosexuality by listening to 'tough' bands like As I Lay Dying and making fun of pussy 'emo' kids. But I know that 'Chainsaw Brutality' is really refering to your asshole getting torn apart by other men.

[thisisadisaster]

dont be a pussy. put it in her butthole.

[lovely864md]

No, you see, interraction with women comes naturally to me.

But, with that said, women are just as easy to predict as men as far as psychology goes. No girl wiill go for him if he isn't confident or doesn't appear so. And that gameplan is best bet for this kid.

The bolded part is what I try to convey to all guys who have problems like this.

[thespearkid]

Also, develop a love of Max Bemis. You will get lots of scene ass.

[speakhandsforme]

Also, develop a love of Max Bemis. You will get lots of scene ass.

Maybe 1/50 "scene ass" is worth getting.

[thespearkid]

Maybe 1/50 "scene ass" is worth getting.
More like 9/10. Scene girls are fucking sexy.

[speakhandsforme]

More like 9/10. Scene girls are fucking sexy.

We obviously are from different places. Scene girls here equal social outcasts (which usually denotes substandard "sexiness"). Then again, I am from southern Illinois.

[ReadyForAction]

Also, develop a love of Max Bemis. You will get lots of scene ass.

qft, I once hooked up with a girl based solely on my love for Bemdawg

[thesafeword]

Scene girls are either 8-9s or 1s.

[thespearkid]

We obviously are from different places. Scene girls here equal social outcasts (which usually denotes substandard "sexiness"). Then again, I am from southern Illinois.
Scene girls around here are pretty enough to be preppy girls if they wanted to but they like makeup and crazy hair and twilight and other shitty things. Also, they have low self-esteem which makes them extremely easy to hook up with.

I can has?

http://i36.tinypic.com/20kwzme.jpg

[thesafeword]

Scene girls around here are pretty enough to be preppy girls if they wanted to but they like makeup and crazy hair and twilight and other shitty things. Also, they have low self-esteem which makes them extremely easy to hook up with.

I can has?

http://i36.tinypic.com/20kwzme.jpg
Hello!

[Fuckmaxbemis]

Alright, I'm going to do my best not to be an asshole here. We'll see.

I am pretty successful with women, which is something that can be achieved by any one person, no matter their deficiencies so there is little if any inhibition on this being a transmittable trait. I am naturally good with words but, gladly, even if you're not, getting to the part where talking is welcomed is 60% the battle. It's all about creating an impression with little subtleties.

You say you're quiet by nature. That is fine. Along with being comfortable appearing as confident, there are some mannerisms I'd like you to also get comfortable with. When you meet a girl always make eye contact and smile upon first exchange. Never act insecure but don't seem actively inserting yourself: just maintain a passive amusement with your surroundings. Keep your eyebrows raised and the corners of your mouth pointing out or up. Now, when interacting with a girl confidence should be maintained. I want you to mix self-promotion with self-deprecation when you speak in party scenes, always in a light manner, never in seriousness. It creates a sense of connection. This is the part where you have to get hooks in. If you even have the slightest feeling the girl in interested, I want you to seize an opening(s) to perhaps kiddingly state the thought that YOU think that SHE is charmed by YOU or, and in definite humor, is sexually attracted to you.

The goal of the whole process is to guise your shyness. You want to appear as being comfortable with silence, not silent because you're uncomfortable with interaction. After some success, you should be comfortable enough to just be yourself.

EDIT: But, also, please try to keep your personal problems out of this forum if your in the market for actual advise. I reallly think you're just romanticizing the problems of a young teenager.

It's sort of a shocking coincidence, because I really do use these tactics. I can't say I'm not charming, the real problem really is when we get past the charm and we move on to "Hey, let's go on a date!"

I'm not romanticizing anything or I try not to atleast. The real motivcation for the topic wasn't attnetion, because if I really wanted attention I would've had many topics in the Personal Life before this one. Many problems are managable on my own, but I jus tthought, it's an on going problem, since the first day it dawned on me that a girlfriend isn't "gross".

If we delve deeper into teenage problems, I have a problem with sexual attraction. I am not gay, and I am certainly not perverted, but there is a slight fear prevailent in my mind that every girl I try to get has the thought that my only intentions are getting down her pants. To get even more personal, I'm not a virgin either, but every girl in which I have had a sexual encounter with before, I didn't really care for.

I'm coming around to the same thought that I had when I first viewed Summer of Sam the first time. If you've seen this movie, you'll know what I mean when I say I think I have a problem with having a normal sexual affection for girls I admire.

This is just a very complex issue far beyond "growing balls". And I've pondered whether or not I was just averting the fact that I may be a bit meek on the issue, and while that is true, there's an even deeper issue here on the interior and I really don't know how to handle it. You're probably wondering why anyone sensible would post such a deep problem on the internet, but I've decided it's worth the shot. It seems so far every one has taken the topic rather seriously, but I have heard all of this, tried, and worked for the most part, but then when it comes to the thought of me being sexually attracted to someone, it just makes me cower.

[.invisible ink.]

you should seek the help of a psychologist or psychiatrist if you think it might be more serious. you have nothing to lose.

[speakhandsforme]

First off, what you see as "tactics" are supposed to be sociological remedies to be integrated into your demeanor until you feel naturally comfortable around the opposite sex. I'm still not entirely sure you're not objectifying everyday problems associated with chemical maturation.

but I'd say the winning answer is....

you should seek the help of a psychologist or psychiatrist if you think it might be more serious. you have nothing to lose.

[Fuckmaxbemis]

Well, I just used the word tactics to classify what the previous poster said. It's not much of a tactic but rather the way that is socially acceptable and identifiable by the opposite sex.

[theguy77]

Scene girls around here are pretty enough to be preppy girls if they wanted to but they like makeup and crazy hair and twilight and other shitty things. Also, they have low self-esteem which makes them extremely easy to hook up with.

I can has?

http://i36.tinypic.com/20kwzme.jpg

gimmicks, especially ridiculous ones like "scene" are immediate turn-offs. change the hair and we'll talk.

well, we'll do a lot more than talk hahaha, not gonna lie

[worthwaiting]

Your respect towards women is sweet. But you need to risk and act more if you want to gain something. Once one of my friends was in love with me, but he was too shy (??) to talk about it to me or make the first move and I was so blind when I think about it now, anyways when he would have told me or tried to kiss me I think we would have even been something. Just take the risk. At least you don't have to think later what could have happened. You just have to get over your fears 'cause they are useless. I understand if you are afraid of a dog, they bite and can have rabies, but women usually don't. It's all in your head, in your thinking- you can change it. Anyways good luck.

[theguy77]

don't seem actively inserting yourself: just maintain a passive amusement with your surroundings.

wow, advice for me. i started having alcohol and little mini-parties in my room this year, and my roommate told me one night that he noticed when girls are in the room, although im already an outgoing and talkative person who likes to crack jokes, i exaggerate that part of myself to the point where sometimes its obvious that im attempting to call attention to myself. i was never aware of that until he said something and, being truthful, i cant stand the silent competition that goes on when there's more than one guy in a room with at least one girl, especially when the other guys could care less and just want sex most the time while im actually looking to get to know the girl and see if shes my type to date. i dont like having to be part of the sex competition when it's not just sex im looking for. but the irony of it is in the evident truth -- the best way to compete is not to compete. it really intrigues the girl to be interested in the challenge of finding out what that chilled out guy is like, especially when shes getting annoyed with other guys trying to force their awesomeness in her face. being able to crack a joke is still always a good thing but when you're TRYING to be funny it actually takes away from the humor and how much recognition you get for it, even if you're good at it, i mean you just look like a goof that way.

[harveymonster]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love-shyness

[Bone Machine]

I'd say just talk to her like a friend. Most girls are more self-conscious about guys and if you just went up to her and talked and if you were a nice guy then I'm sure she'd like you and if not, at least you get some practice. Just a tip though, don't come off like you're super into her because that's really creepy. Like, if a guy came up to me and was really nice and liked me a lot, I'd probably feel bad for him and go out with him. You can't really go wrong.

[thesafeword]

Oh I certainly am not a boner machine.

[superxero]

And you're masking your homosexuality by listening to 'tough' bands like As I Lay Dying and making fun of pussy 'emo' kids. But I know that 'Chainsaw Brutality' is really refering to your asshole getting torn apart by other men.


http://www.clanpot.com/slutamis/pics/pwned.jpg