Conundrum.

[goodnews]

I spent most of my life in Colorado Springs, so that's where most of my closest friends live, and I'm planning on going to the University of Colorado. I visit 2-3 times a year for 2-3 weeks at a time because my family still owns property there. My best friend in the entire world also lives there. Her name is Sarah, and we were inseparable while we were growing up, but our relationship was always platonic. Over the past few years, we've kept in touch and we text, skype, and talk on the phone frequently. I can confide in her about literally anything and vice versa. Most people would kill to have a friend as loving, trustworthy, hilarious, and generally incredible as Sarah. However, the last time we saw each other, we hooked up, and being that we are closer with one another than with anyone else in either of our lives, there was obviously a significantly greater amount of emotional baggage associated with this "hookup" than any other that either of us had ever experienced. I am fairly mature and levelheaded for my age, and I'm certain that I am legitimately in love with her. She has told me that she feels the same way. There is, however, a slight problem: she has had an on-again, off-again but serious boyfriend for 2 years. When we hooked up, they were going through one of their all-too-frequent "off-again" stages, so she wasn't technically "cheating" on him, but she (understandably so) harbors a lot of guilt about what happened but says she doesn't regret it at all, and even wants to be with me if/when I move out there for college.
My dilemma is a personal one: how do I handle things with her until then? We still are in constant contact with one another, and she has told me on countless occasions that she is in love with me, but at the end of the day, she's with him, and I'm alone. And I'm sure he's a fine guy (I never got the chance to meet him), and I know that he makes her happy, but I can't help but be jealous. I know it's irrational; I live in DC and she's all the way out in Colorado, but the feelings I have for this girl are unlike anything I've ever felt for anyone in my life. It's overwhelming. I guess my greatest fear is that she will fall out of love with me between now and then, and will still be with her current boyfriend, who she has said herself is not right for her. How do I deal with my insecurities and cynicism about this potential relationship? How do I ensure that I don't fuck things up for the future? This sucks. Sorry if it sounds really stupid; I just needed to get it off of my chest.

[bung]

tl

[spansen]

hahaha.

i haven't read it. i will. but i haven't yet.

[more heart]

whoa? 2 long, 2 threads. delete one please.

also, may have been better as a blog.

[spansen]

ok.
1) get a livejournal.
2) i know from personal experience that dating a friend can be absolutely incredible, but if you happen to break up than you lose absolutely everything with said friend.
3) you're miles away, hardly there, and she has this guy to do the on-again/off-again with
4) they're on-again/off-again for a reason: they are not compatible, but they are comfortable
5) you have to decide for yourself if it's worth risking your friendship on this girl.

[thesafeword]

Summary:
1. Blah blah blah, Colorado is boring, we don't care about it.
2. Platonic relationship with 'best friend', like that's never happened.
3. Hooks up with her, actually kind of suprising.
4. He's even more attached.
5. She gets a boyfriend, because she's obviously not into him. It's a fucking platonic relationship for crying out loud.
6. He wants to know how to solve the unsolvable.

Just be happy that you got to fuck her once.

[goodnews]

Summary:
1. Blah blah blah, Colorado is boring, we don't care about it.
2. Platonic relationship with 'best friend', like that's never happened.
3. Hooks up with her, actually kind of suprising.
4. He's even more attached.
5. She gets a boyfriend, because she's obviously not into him. It's a fucking platonic relationship for crying out loud.
6. He wants to know how to solve the unsolvable.

Just be happy that you got to fuck her once.
Fucking ridiculous, but okay.

[spansen]

a bit of an ass, eh? ha

[thesafeword]

Okay, now I saw that you're 16. Move on, you're too young to be depressed about a girl that probably won't mean anything a few years down the road.

[spansen]

yeah, he is young.. so, at this point.. it's really not as big a deal as he thinks it is-- at least from the outside looking in.

[thesafeword]

Yeah, it hurts now, but later it won't mean much.

[swt_catastrophe]

tl;dr

and what does this have to do with catie?

[Heart-A-Tact]

tl;dr

and what does this have to do with catie?

She came to mind when I saw the thread title, too. Ha.

[argg_xo]

She came to mind when I saw the thread title, too. Ha.
i thought this thread was about her and then i realized it was tl, so i dr.

[swt_catastrophe]

She came to mind when I saw the thread title, too. Ha.

i thought this thread was about her and then i realized it was tl, so i dr.

i think all the pl regulars thought so.

[spansen]

i didn't.. because i'm only regular sometimes.

[swirlofhues]

time to sit down and think if you're mature enough to let her go until you're in college. you can ruin an amazing relationship by getting in huge fights over petty things, and things are harder to resolve when you're in a long distance relationship. and, seeing as how you guys can't communicate any other way besides the occasional webcam/phonecall/IM, it makes the relationship all the more volatile. let her be with the guy, give her a chance to grow up without you. it'll make it that much more better when she's with you.

stop treating her like a girlfriend until she's actually yours. i'd start with trying to talk to her a lot less, or at least without ever mentioning the relationship aspect. talk to her about how you can only deal with being her friend right now while she's with another guy. if she's smart, she'll agree to stop pushing the lovey-dovey aspect OR she'll distance herself, also.

[Burning Star IV]

YOU LEAVE CAITY OUTTA THIS

x

[kaycey]

tl fu.

[thespearkid]

This is now Caity's appreciation thread.

[Charles777]

Summary:
1. Blah blah blah, Colorado is boring, we don't care about it.
2. Platonic relationship with 'best friend', like that's never happened.
3. Hooks up with her, actually kind of suprising.
4. He's even more attached.
5. She gets a boyfriend, because she's obviously not into him. It's a fucking platonic relationship for crying out loud.
6. He wants to know how to solve the unsolvable.

Just be happy that you got to fuck her once.
Hey man, colorado is not boring.

It has.......mountains

[sjb2k1]

she is having her cake and eating it too. you are 16. don't waste any more time on it.



also at 16 i never thought about college, let alone knew where i wanted to go...is that like a new things with kids these days?
/geezer

[thespearkid]

she is having her cake and eating it too. you are 16. don't waste any more time on it.



also at 16 i never thought about college, let alone knew where i wanted to go...is that like a new things with kids these days?
/geezer
Just about everyone I knew in high school had known their whole lives where they wanted to go to school. The rednecks all wanted to go to state, the snobby kids all wanted to go to chapel hill, and people like me wanted to go anywhere we could get a scholarship.

[sjb2k1]

Just about everyone I knew in high school had known their whole lives where they wanted to go to school. The rednecks all wanted to go to state, the snobby kids all wanted to go to chapel hill, and people like me wanted to go anywhere we could get a scholarship.
hmm yeah see i don't think it was like that back when i was in high school. except for maybe a couple of kids. weird.

i'd figure all the snobby kids would want to go to duke hahaha

[MarsEatWorld]

hmm yeah see i don't think it was like that back when i was in high school. except for maybe a couple of kids. weird.

i'd figure all the snobby kids would want to go to duke hahaha
bahahahaa
and I want to go to Duke.

[sjb2k1]

bahahahaa
and I want to go to Duke.
are you snobby? total pre-req.
actually i'm not sure if i even know anyone who's gone to duke. i know plenty of unc and state people though.

[MarsEatWorld]

are you snobby? total pre-req.
actually i'm not sure if i even know anyone who's gone to duke. i know plenty of unc and state people though.
Not at all..