Type a witty anecdote.

[odnetnin]

Go!

[marrost]

Suck my dick.

[Mark is God]

Suck his dick.

[odnetnin]

i was in this forest playing pokemon with my friends and i ran into a tree





lmfao ibbt

[Mark is God]

i was in this forest playing pokemon with my friends and i ran into a tree





lmfao ibbt
You lose.

[odnetnin]

When I was a kid I went to my friend Ryan's house and he showed me these new boxing gloves his dad bought him. I put on a pair and so did another friend of ours, Michael. Michael and I started play boxing and it was all fun and games until I landed an uppercut square in his stomach and he ripped this huge fart. We all kind of froze for a second, then me and Ryan broke out in hysterical laughter. Michael started scrambling to save face and screamed, "I had a stomach ache! Stop laughing! It's not funny! Stop laughing!"


Ryan and I couldn't stop laughing, and we continued to roll around despite Michael's plea for us to stop teasing. After a few minutes, Michael's eyes started welling up and he looking like he was going to start crying. "I had a stomachache!!" he yelled as he started to run out of the room.


Right at that moment, Ryan's dad walked into the room, stopping Michael on his way in. "What's going on in here?" he asked.


I looked up at him and said, "Michael and I were boxing, and when I punched him in the stomach, he farted."


Ryan tried his hardest not to giggle, but to no avail. Michael started to get upset again, and he looked as if he was on the verge of tears once more. Ryan's dad noticed this, and said to Michael, "Hey, don't pay attention to those guys. They're just being jerks."


Ryan and I started to kind lower our heads in shame, because we realized we were being really mean to Michael. Ryan started to apologize when his father cut him off. "Just playing, you little bitch!" he yelled, as he spun Michael around and ripped off his shorts.


Michael, completely embarrassed at this point, started to cry uncontrollably. "What are you gonna, fart some more? Huh, fart boy?" Ryan's dad taunted. "I'll teach you to never fart in my house again, you dirty little mother fucker," he screamed maniacally as he began pulling off his own shorts. Ryan's father then began a vicious anal raping on Michael as he screamed out, "This'll plug you up real good, you disgusting little shit. You will never fart in my house again, you filthy fucking runt. Ooh, yeah, you dirty little bitch. You love it, don't you ***got?"


Ryan and I froze in fear, in total disbelief of what was happening right before our eyes. Ryan's dad then threw Michael down on the ground where Michael started crying harder than before. As he walked out the door, Ryan's father turned and said, "Oh, and you boys wash up. Dinner is ready."


Still shocked and not sure what to make of what just happened, Ryan and I started to reluctantly walk towards the bathroom sink to wash up. All of a sudden, Michael, still weeping uncontrollably on the ground, farted.


We all froze, looked at each other, and then shared a hearty laugh.

[marrost]

On September 11, 1985, the Cincinnati Reds' Pete Rose broke baseball legend Ty Cobb's 4,191-hit record. Told of the historic event, Mickey Mantle, another famous slugger, declared: "If I'd-a hit that many singles, I'd-a wore a dress."

[odnetnin]

three nuns walk into a bar

one ducks


same thing?

[marrost]

One day Robert Schimmel's wife told him about a hot book about finding a woman's G-Spot. "I went to a bookstore," Schimmel later recalled. "I couldn't even find the book."

[odnetnin]

Three got raped by bus. Twice

Edit: black people

[The Silencer]

When I was a kid I went to my friend Ryan's house and he showed me these new boxing gloves his dad bought him. I put on a pair and so did another friend of ours, Michael. Michael and I started play boxing and it was all fun and games until I landed an uppercut square in his stomach and he ripped this huge fart. We all kind of froze for a second, then me and Ryan broke out in hysterical laughter. Michael started scrambling to save face and screamed, "I had a stomach ache! Stop laughing! It's not funny! Stop laughing!"


Ryan and I couldn't stop laughing, and we continued to roll around despite Michael's plea for us to stop teasing. After a few minutes, Michael's eyes started welling up and he looking like he was going to start crying. "I had a stomachache!!" he yelled as he started to run out of the room.


Right at that moment, Ryan's dad walked into the room, stopping Michael on his way in. "What's going on in here?" he asked.


I looked up at him and said, "Michael and I were boxing, and when I punched him in the stomach, he farted."


Ryan tried his hardest not to giggle, but to no avail. Michael started to get upset again, and he looked as if he was on the verge of tears once more. Ryan's dad noticed this, and said to Michael, "Hey, don't pay attention to those guys. They're just being jerks."


Ryan and I started to kind lower our heads in shame, because we realized we were being really mean to Michael. Ryan started to apologize when his father cut him off. "Just playing, you little bitch!" he yelled, as he spun Michael around and ripped off his shorts.


Michael, completely embarrassed at this point, started to cry uncontrollably. "What are you gonna, fart some more? Huh, fart boy?" Ryan's dad taunted. "I'll teach you to never fart in my house again, you dirty little mother fucker," he screamed maniacally as he began pulling off his own shorts. Ryan's father then began a vicious anal raping on Michael as he screamed out, "This'll plug you up real good, you disgusting little shit. You will never fart in my house again, you filthy fucking runt. Ooh, yeah, you dirty little bitch. You love it, don't you ***got?"


Ryan and I froze in fear, in total disbelief of what was happening right before our eyes. Ryan's dad then threw Michael down on the ground where Michael started crying harder than before. As he walked out the door, Ryan's father turned and said, "Oh, and you boys wash up. Dinner is ready."


Still shocked and not sure what to make of what just happened, Ryan and I started to reluctantly walk towards the bathroom sink to wash up. All of a sudden, Michael, still weeping uncontrollably on the ground, farted.


We all froze, looked at each other, and then shared a hearty laugh.
hmmmmmmmmm

[Mark is God]

When I was a kid I went to my friend Ryan's house and he showed me these new boxing gloves his dad bought him. I put on a pair and so did another friend of ours, Michael. Michael and I started play boxing and it was all fun and games until I landed an uppercut square in his stomach and he ripped this huge fart. We all kind of froze for a second, then me and Ryan broke out in hysterical laughter. Michael started scrambling to save face and screamed, "I had a stomach ache! Stop laughing! It's not funny! Stop laughing!"


Ryan and I couldn't stop laughing, and we continued to roll around despite Michael's plea for us to stop teasing. After a few minutes, Michael's eyes started welling up and he looking like he was going to start crying. "I had a stomachache!!" he yelled as he started to run out of the room.


Right at that moment, Ryan's dad walked into the room, stopping Michael on his way in. "What's going on in here?" he asked.


I looked up at him and said, "Michael and I were boxing, and when I punched him in the stomach, he farted."


Ryan tried his hardest not to giggle, but to no avail. Michael started to get upset again, and he looked as if he was on the verge of tears once more. Ryan's dad noticed this, and said to Michael, "Hey, don't pay attention to those guys. They're just being jerks."


Ryan and I started to kind lower our heads in shame, because we realized we were being really mean to Michael. Ryan started to apologize when his father cut him off. "Just playing, you little bitch!" he yelled, as he spun Michael around and ripped off his shorts.


Michael, completely embarrassed at this point, started to cry uncontrollably. "What are you gonna, fart some more? Huh, fart boy?" Ryan's dad taunted. "I'll teach you to never fart in my house again, you dirty little mother fucker," he screamed maniacally as he began pulling off his own shorts. Ryan's father then began a vicious anal raping on Michael as he screamed out, "This'll plug you up real good, you disgusting little shit. You will never fart in my house again, you filthy fucking runt. Ooh, yeah, you dirty little bitch. You love it, don't you ***got?"


Ryan and I froze in fear, in total disbelief of what was happening right before our eyes. Ryan's dad then threw Michael down on the ground where Michael started crying harder than before. As he walked out the door, Ryan's father turned and said, "Oh, and you boys wash up. Dinner is ready."


Still shocked and not sure what to make of what just happened, Ryan and I started to reluctantly walk towards the bathroom sink to wash up. All of a sudden, Michael, still weeping uncontrollably on the ground, farted.


We all froze, looked at each other, and then shared a hearty laugh.
something tells me you didn't type that.

[odnetnin]

A girl came hard in 1933 by a pedophile bear. He buried his meat in her cooch when she was still tight. The pedobear chanted, "Toma sota balcu" as he pounded her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will molest you like she was molested. If you post this, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded....

cthulu may lie dead but dreaming, but he still sends his minions for your soul.

http://www.thefriendsociety.com/bob/Immortal.gif

[Andy]

I disapprove of people who quote long ass posts and have no real comment.

[Kid Kilowatt]

One of my ex-girlfriends had epilepsy, and never told me about it. Now, let me first state that this was a fun loving girl, one who would do anything for a laugh. With that said, I shall continue with the story:

She and I went to the beach for a picnic. We had a lot of fun, that is, until she went into an uncontrollable fit. At first, I thought she was joking, but I soon found out that this assumption wasn't the case. In fear, I ran to my car and left her there.
A few hours later I received a call from her parents. They told me she was found by a couple, and they drove her home. I asked to speak to her, but they said she had already gone to bed, so I told them I'd stop by the next day.
So, the next day I show up at her house, and she tells me of her affliction. She says she forgives me for freaking out, and she goes to kiss me, but I stopped her, and said, "Listen, I can't be in a relationship with you anymore. I feel as though I was betrayed by your silence". I left her house soon after that. Now, you may be asking yourself, "Why would he do that?". Well, I am really shallow, and being the boyfriend of a girl with a mental affliction wasn't very appealing.

[fightfightfight]

"The saddest thing you'll ever see is mosquito trying to suck blood out of a mummy. Just give it up little buddy." - Jack Handey

[Andy]

I'll f u in the a and c in your eye

[PunkyLove]

hey

[Andy]

hey
I predict a short career.

[Alex Djaferis]

I predict a short career.

hahaha

[BetsyXcore]

I predict a short career.
:lol:

[yanggoh]

One time Winston Churchill was in a bar and as usual, got completely hammered. This lady who happened to be there saw him and said, "Winston Churchill! If you were my husband I'd feed you with rat poison!"

Churchill replied, "Madam, if I were your husband, I'd take it."

[odnetnin]

On the moon nerds get their pants pulled down and they are spanked with moon rocks then blown up like batteries in a pepsi can.

[merv the perv]

Florida, 1983. A tan man strolls the beach and sees a lovely young lady playing water oriented games. He casually approaches, finding her wet and salty... "pardon me, your face seems familiar, were you walking around one day?" The girl, admiring the man's tan, replies, "yes, I was walking around one day..... I like your tan, where did you get it?" The tan man twists his bronze head and points to his towel on the beach, "I got my tan over there while orbiting the sun." The girl likes what she sees and responds, "yeah, the sun is awesome, it's as if our lives revolve around it." Silence interrupts as the two exchange enchanted, science-fiction type stares and realize they are having a Planet of the Apes moment.