Shitty Job ?

[Hainzey X]

i am not a regular to the PL forum. rarely does anything interesting / perverted / fucked up / sickening / entertaining enough occur in my day to day to warrant a thread or any discussion. today was an unfortunate exception.

a little back story : i work at a fairly large doctor's office in philadelphia doing filing. yes, its as boring as it sounds. anyway, my day usual consist of mostly paper pushing and playing fetch for the higher ranking employees. fine by me, i get paid enough so i don't complain. all i have to do is put some papers away, right ?

anyhoo, our doctors will often times order testing to be done on our patients, via blood work, urinalysis, stool, ect. 99% of the time, none of the above concerns me but today : i got my hands dirty. sort of.

about 20 minutes before i was scheduled to leave, a dilemma was presented to one of our nurses. we had to get a stool (shit) sample over to quest diagnostics by 4:00 ( its 3:40 ) oh no, what to do ? i volunteer to run the sample over to quest ( about a half a mile away ) as a favor to the office & patient. i was unfortunate enough to catch a glimpse of the terd before they put it in a brown paper bag. it was watery, greenish & had blood in it. yuck. i managed to keep my lunch down.

hold on, its just getting good. so i manage to make it to quest with just minutes to spare. expecting to drop off the poopy filled brown paper bag & leave, i was caught off guard when they asked me to have a seat.

apparently, the stool sample needed to be seperated into four separate viles. i had only one, the one i brought it in. in order for this crucial test of this old woman's poo to be performed, i had to transfer the clump of dookie into 4 smaller clumps of dookie. they didn't do " transfers " here.

inital thoughts : " yuck. . . . . . i just ran ten city blocks to make it here, its not going to be in vein ". i don't fully know what i was thinking, but i did it. i put on a pair of rubber gloves, and dug away at the small mountain of feces with the tiny shovel miniature spoon that looks like it was used to serve frozen yogurt to infants they gave me. three of the tubes had liquid in them. i had to dump enough poo in the vile so that the liquid would rise up to a red line marked on the vile. it felt like i was on double dare 2000 but with brown slime instead of Nickelodeon's signature green.

feeling demoralized & underpaid, i jogged back to my place of employance ( is that a word ? ) expecting a heroes welcome, but that welcome sounding more sounded more like a joke at my expense. they all laughed at me and what i did. any why not ? i laughed at me. its a pretty funny disgusting story. just disgusting enough for the PL forum.

so i guess the obvious question is : why ? why did i do it ? wouldn't the doctors understand that you didn't want to be the middle man between a chunk of mr. hanky and his new home ? are you not too under paid to even consider doing something like this ? are you fucking crazy, man ?

the answers : yes, yes & yes.

[Hainzey X]

bring the love / support / reaffirmation that all of this servicing of poop is for a great good or a higher calling in life.

[SonEric84]

haha That's terrible...oh well, makes for a good gross-out story I suppose.

[raychull]

that's horribly disgusting. i'd have died.

[SonEric84]

that's horribly disgusting. i'd have died.



At the very least I definitely would have puked, I was gagging earlier today at the smell of some guy who came into my job. So that would be like 1,000,000 x worse.

[raychull]

seriously dude. I have a shitty tolerance when it comes to stuff like this, as it is.

[SonEric84]

Same here. haha

[raychull]

I just realized the title of this thread was most likely a pun. /fail.

[robat19]

someone pooped on the floor at my work, and i refused to clean it up.

[SonEric84]

I just realized the title of this thread was most likely a pun. /fail.



Most likely. Though I was thinking the same thing when you said "shitty tolerance." haha

[heyxnightmarex]

someone pooped on the floor at my work, and i refused to clean it up.

same thing happened at my work. the janitor wasnt there so they asked everyone and no one would, so the manager had to do it himself. it was awesome.

[raychull]

someone pooped on the floor at my work, and i refused to clean it up.

ew.

Most likely. Though I was thinking the same thing when you said "shitty tolerance." haha

ahha, yeah. although what I was saying wasn't an intended pun.

[spansen]

gross.

[crit]

ooooooof that sucks

[Hainzey X]

bad pun aside, i thought it was a pretty funny story.

if ya can't laugh at yourself . . .

[argg_xo]

someone pooped on the floor at my work, and i refused to clean it up.
someone pooped in a boot at my work. do you happen to work at tj maxx also?

[robat19]

someone pooped in a boot at my work. do you happen to work at tj maxx also?

ha, no. MC Sports.

[argg_xo]

ha, no. MC Sports.
oh, i'm assuming that's a sporting goods store, am i close?

[robat19]

oh, i'm assuming that's a sporting goods store, am i close?

Yeah, surprised you've never heard of it. But the closest one to Detroit might be Ann Arbor.

[.invisible ink.]

holy crap, that's awful. I often find myself hating my job but having to separate poop is taking things to another level. I hope they give you a raise at your next review. You're obviously quite dedicated, that should be commended/rewarded.

[argg_xo]

Yeah, surprised you've never heard of it. But the closest one to Detroit might be Ann Arbor.
nope, all we have around here are Dick's sporting goods and some other one, i forgot what it's called.

[Smash Adams]

someone pooped in a boot at my work. do you happen to work at tj maxx also?
how does one even do that? they have such small holes

[argg_xo]

how does one even do that? they have such small holes
it was a toddler that pooped in the boot. he just pulled his pants down and started pooping in the boot :shrug:

[Smash Adams]

it was a toddler that pooped in the boot. he just pulled his pants down and started pooping in the boot :shrug:
still I don't think I could do that at that age, that kid's got skill

[argg_xo]

still I don't think I could do that at that age, that kid's got skill
i must admit, that does take some skills. that will forever go down in tj maxx history.

[andrew4045]

A+ read.

[Smash Adams]

i must admit, that does take some skills. that will forever go down in tj maxx history.
exactly at the T.J. Maxx conventions that story must bring down the house

[argg_xo]

exactly at the T.J. Maxx conventions that story must bring down the house
i get requests to tell that story. it will never die!

[Smash Adams]

i get requests to tell that story. it will never die!
just like our love

[argg_xo]

just like our love
truer words have never been typed.

[ohheroine]

someone pooped in a boot at my work. do you happen to work at tj maxx also?


im sitting in a quiet library on campus and i just loled so hard. oops.

[Kassie09]

Hahaha, that would suck, however stuff like that doesn't gross me out so I would have been fine with it as long as I had gloves.

[ohheroine]

i used to work at a sports bar as a server. the restaurant had a little closed off space for a waiting room with bleachers and shit, and one day this little boy who was out there peed ALL over them and on the floor. the dad comes and gets me and says "my kid peed. clean it up" and leaves. not funny when it happened, but funny to look back on.


also my mom works at stein mart. you would be surprised at the number of old ladies who shit while walking down the isles or in dressing rooms. they also wipe it on the clothes and the walls. just sayin.

[Danlol]

i think I can top that story. It isnt one of my own, but it's incredibly disgusting.

My friends sister works at an old folks home for people with dementia. So, understandably, most of these people have absolutely no idea whats going on and do some pretty disgusting stuff, but that's all part of the job, right?

Anyway, alot of the time they shit themselves. So part of her job is to go in and wipe up the old folks, cleaning any furniture/clothes/walls that also get covered in crap. Fairly gross to begin with.

So one time, she walks into an old ladies room to find her covered in her own watery crap. She gets about changing her pants and wiping her up. She turns her around to try and wipe, but finds that the old lady would not move her hands. They were clenched firmly between her legs.

After finally prying away the old woman's hands, she finds that she was, in fact, using the diarrhea as a lubricant for masturbation...


Oh how I wish that story wasn't true.

[jenny_ell]

uh i know dozens of people who can top this story on a daily basis. most of my friends are nursing assistants and i've heard some really gross stories hahha

[bigblue2015]

i think I can top that story. It isnt one of my own, but it's incredibly disgusting.

My friends sister works at an old folks home for people with dementia. So, understandably, most of these people have absolutely no idea whats going on and do some pretty disgusting stuff, but that's all part of the job, right?

Anyway, alot of the time they shit themselves. So part of her job is to go in and wipe up the old folks, cleaning any furniture/clothes/walls that also get covered in crap. Fairly gross to begin with.

So one time, she walks into an old ladies room to find her covered in her own watery crap. She gets about changing her pants and wiping her up. She turns her around to try and wipe, but finds that the old lady would not move her hands. They were clenched firmly between her legs.

After finally prying away the old woman's hands, she finds that she was, in fact, using the diarrhea as a lubricant for masturbation...


Oh how I wish that story wasn't true.



And a new low for the PL forum.

[ohheroine]

i think I can top that story. It isnt one of my own, but it's incredibly disgusting.

My friends sister works at an old folks home for people with dementia. So, understandably, most of these people have absolutely no idea...


good. god.

[Hainzey X]

update :

was rewarded with a $50.00 tip for my heroic actions.

suck it, losers.

[thatwasamoment]

just came in to say you should hit up HR for a little bonus... I'd do it for $50.

[ZeroGravity107]

i think I can top that story. It isnt one of my own, but it's incredibly disgusting.

My friends sister works at an old folks home for people with dementia. So, understandably, most of these people have absolutely no idea whats going on and do some pretty disgusting stuff, but that's all part of the job, right?

Anyway, alot of the time they shit themselves. So part of her job is to go in and wipe up the old folks, cleaning any furniture/clothes/walls that also get covered in crap. Fairly gross to begin with.

So one time, she walks into an old ladies room to find her covered in her own watery crap. She gets about changing her pants and wiping her up. She turns her around to try and wipe, but finds that the old lady would not move her hands. They were clenched firmly between her legs.

After finally prying away the old woman's hands, she finds that she was, in fact, using the diarrhea as a lubricant for masturbation...


Oh how I wish that story wasn't true.

Fuck that is disgusting.


To the OP, I lol'ed. That's shitty (pun intended)

[LV03]

i think I can top that story. It isnt one of my own, but it's incredibly disgusting.

My friends sister works at an old folks home for people with dementia. So, understandably, most of these people have absolutely no idea whats going on and do some pretty disgusting stuff, but that's all part of the job, right?

Anyway, alot of the time they shit themselves. So part of her job is to go in and wipe up the old folks, cleaning any furniture/clothes/walls that also get covered in crap. Fairly gross to begin with.

So one time, she walks into an old ladies room to find her covered in her own watery crap. She gets about changing her pants and wiping her up. She turns her around to try and wipe, but finds that the old lady would not move her hands. They were clenched firmly between her legs.

After finally prying away the old woman's hands, she finds that she was, in fact, using the diarrhea as a lubricant for masturbation...


Oh how I wish that story wasn't true.
wow am i glad i ventured into the pl forum today...what a story. One of my friends works at a nursing home and i thought i've heard just about everything, but i definitely have to tell her this one.

[about3fitty]

i think I can top that story. It isnt one of my own, but it's incredibly disgusting.

My friends sister works at an old folks home for people with dementia. So, understandably, most of these people have absolutely no idea whats going on and do some pretty disgusting stuff, but that's all part of the job, right?

Anyway, alot of the time they shit themselves. So part of her job is to go in and wipe up the old folks, cleaning any furniture/clothes/walls that also get covered in crap. Fairly gross to begin with.

So one time, she walks into an old ladies room to find her covered in her own watery crap. She gets about changing her pants and wiping her up. She turns her around to try and wipe, but finds that the old lady would not move her hands. They were clenched firmly between her legs.

After finally prying away the old woman's hands, she finds that she was, in fact, using the diarrhea as a lubricant for masturbation...


Oh how I wish that story wasn't true.

what the fuck is wrong with old people?

[remedyeli]

My old co-worker can top that story.
I used to work at a clothing store and one day while my co-worker was emptying the trash bag from the women's bathroom, he found a horrible mess.

There was shit on both sides of the wall in one of the stalls. I'm talking about covered in it, the whole 2 walls. I have no clue how one person can produce so much, so we think it was as organized terrorist group.

The fumes in it must have gotten him high because he actually offered to clean it up. We knew the store was closing down in a month so it's not like he would have gotten a good raise. Maybe he has some kind of creepy fetish that we didn't know about?

Needless to say there were so many puns that night

[secretcrowds.]

i think I can top that story. It isnt one of my own, but it's incredibly disgusting.

My friends sister works at an old folks home for people with dementia. So, understandably, most of these people have absolutely no idea whats going on and do some pretty disgusting stuff, but that's all part of the job, right?

Anyway, alot of the time they shit themselves. So part of her job is to go in and wipe up the old folks, cleaning any furniture/clothes/walls that also get covered in crap. Fairly gross to begin with.

So one time, she walks into an old ladies room to find her covered in her own watery crap. She gets about changing her pants and wiping her up. She turns her around to try and wipe, but finds that the old lady would not move her hands. They were clenched firmly between her legs.

After finally prying away the old woman's hands, she finds that she was, in fact, using the diarrhea as a lubricant for masturbation...


Oh how I wish that story wasn't true.


oh man, that is like the worst mental image ever!

that is so fucking rough.

..

:puke: