oh fuck

[YoungNastyMan]

Okay, so my cousin is almost 17, but lives in Scotland, so I don't see her usually...

BUT, I got her email and started talking to her on AIM not long ago, and we really hit it off. About two weeks ago, her and her family finally hopped on a flight here to see the rest of the family, since it had been about 4 years since they last saw each other.

Things were going good, and I managed to take her out a few nights, and Friday night... we were on the sofa in my house, watching a movie, talking a bit, pretty normal stuff. Eventually the conversation turns to sex and we both admit we aren't virgins, and there's a silence. Suddenly she gets this look in her eye and pushes me back onto the sofa, gets on top....and then she did the mash...













































She did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
She did the mash
It caught on in a flash
She did the mash
She did the monster mash


From my laboratory in the castle east
To the master bedroom where the vampires feast
The ghouls all came from their humble abodes
To get a jolt from my electrodes


They did the mash
They did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They did the mash
It caught on in a flash
They did the mash
They did the monster mash


The zombies were having fun
The party had just begun
The guests included Wolf Man
Dracula and his son


The scene was rockin', all were digging the sounds
Igor on chains, backed by his baying hounds
The coffin-bangers were about to arrive
With their vocal group, "The Crypt-Kicker Five"


They played the mash
They played the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They played the mash
It caught on in a flash
They played the mash
They played the monster mash


Out from his coffin, Drac's voice did ring
Seems he was troubled by just one thing
He opened the lid and shook his fist
And said, "Whatever happened to my Transylvania twist?"


It's now the mash
It's now the monster mash
The monster mash
And it's a graveyard smash
It's now the mash
It's caught on in a flash
It's now the mash
It's now the monster mash


Now everything's cool, Drac's a part of the band
And my monster mash is the hit of the land
For you, the living, this mash was meant too
When you get to my door, tell them Boris sent you


Then you can mash
Then you can monster mash
The monster mash
And do my graveyard smash
Then you can mash
You'll catch on in a flash
Then you can mash
Then you can monster mash
_________________
we fight all night long but in the end no on is the winner

[marrost]

So did you fuck her or what?

[guesswhodied]

So did you fuck her or what?
ohhhh hahahaha.... *teardrop* priceless...

[b e L I E v e]

i actually laughed my ass off when i read this...i dont know why...

[allelish]

I leaned forward in disbelief of where this story was leading. Then i laughed at those timeless lyrics.

[SC0926]

I leaned forward in disbelief of where this story was leading. The i laughed at those timeless lyrics.
same. hahahha

[SonEric84]

I leaned forward in disbelief of where this story was leading. The i laughed at those timeless lyrics.


hahaha That sums it up.

[WasteMyTime]

best thread in a long long time

[Jra1]

haha that was actually classic, i fell for it hard

[nobodysmonkey]

I totally thought you were going to say you fucked her.

I actually know a kid who fucked his cousin. That's some messed up shit, right there.

[mondeoman]

So did you fuck her or what?
The first one was great but this comment makes this thread priceless.

[Drew Beringer]

Hahahahhahhahahahha.

[I am all talk]

fuck yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, not too long before the monster mac's are back.

[odnetnin]

I would like to know if this actually happened.

[fullbleedxaudio]

haha wow...timeless lyrics...

shit i almost fell for this too. i really thought you fucked your cousin.

[shermanology]

reminds me of the time my 3rd cousin hit on me at my great grandma's funeral. i couldnt sleep for a week.

[WakingTheMisery]

i want sex.

[pinkerton]

i want sex.
tru dat brotha.

[b e L I E v e]

reminds me of the time my 3rd cousin hit on me at my great grandma's funeral. i couldnt sleep for a week.
im not sure about third cousins....fourth cousins are okay though

[punkpixie]

I leaned forward in disbelief of where this story was leading. Then i laughed at those timeless lyrics.
hahahahahahah I also did this.

[Shoes]

HAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAA scene points!

[Mark is God]

It's hard to make me laugh, and that did.

[aminorthreat55]

HAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAA scene points!
Nice avatar.


This thread is fucking hilarious. The first two posts are priceless.

[Trainsaw]

haha nice thread

[A picasso blue]

so...so did you actually do her? this issue has still not been addressed..

[The_Crowing]

so...so did you actually do her? this issue has still not been addressed..
Not funny.

[FallingOut]

For some reason right when he said the word "cousin" I had a feeling it was going to be something about him and her having sex.

[A picasso blue]

Not funny.
you and nick hate me so much and i still don't get why. is it cuz i don't like "hardcore"?

[Clarett'sGreyGoose]

you and nick hate me so much and i still don't get why. is it cuz i don't like "hardcore"?
it's cause you kill threads.

[Crocodile Logic]

http://www.cousincouples.com/

[monkeyboy14]

Yes funny thread. Disturbing but funny. Especially if it is true. But that matter still has not been addressed.

[Alex Djaferis]

best thread in a long long time
---

[Burnout2888]

What was great was the whole blank space. I was like, oh shit, what's next? And then the priceless lyrics... hahaha... best thread I've seen in a while.

[PunkDrums182]

I leaned forward in disbelief of where this story was leading. Then i laughed at those timeless lyrics.
hahaha me too.

[b e L I E v e]

http://www.cousincouples.com/
great, now i cant eat dinner

[trustmeimokay]

Whoa. That was funny.

[b e L I E v e]

and with a user name like YoungNastyMan...you were expecting some action..

[aminorthreat55]

This thread was/is a gem.

[CHRISRIPPEDOUT]

i actually laughed my ass off when i read this...i dont know why...
me fucking too...hahaha

[noodledancer]

funny stuff. good song.

[apoemtothedead]

This thread was/is a gem.
Yeah. I nominate it for Thread of the Year.

[Brandon Allin]

Best.

Thread.

EVER!

[Slurps]

Hahahahahaha, that was great. It gave me a good laugh for a while.

[wastedspacejm]

So did you fuck her or what?


"Jesus man, there's just some things you don't talk about in public!"

haha

[borntokill]

im not sure about third cousins....fourth cousins are okay though
hahaha

[Cal Smith]

this is the best thign i've ever read.

what made it for me was imaging the music kicking in right at the end with that voice on the song.

[Kyle Garchar]

this is the best thign i've ever read.

what made it for me was imaging the music kicking in right at the end with that voice on the song.same EXACT thing

[brodudeman123]

this is the best thign i've ever read.

what made it for me was imaging the music kicking in right at the end with that voice on the song.


Hahaha yeah, and the reply right after that. Good thread.

[panic !!]

Hahaha.

I sort of love this.

[Katie Schmitz]

holy shit ... funniest thread ever?

[Juliet R Delta]

i was like... man... an incest thread, i gotta get in on this, i gotta say something... LOL

[Katie Schmitz]

yes ... incest is best? not really but in this dudes case; yes!

[charly horse]

haha wow...timeless lyrics...

shit i almost fell for this too. i really thought you fucked your cousin.
hahah Derek, me too!

[marrost]

That is probably in my top five posts ever. This was a great thread.

[Carlo Marx]

That reminded me of this story my friend told me. His cousins from Scotland were here in America back in 2000, and so my friend Paul took his then 18 year old cousin up to the city to show her New York. They saw a few landmarks, and she asks if they can go see the World Trade Center. It was kind of late in the day and my friend Paul was pretty tired, so he told her "Eh, they'll be here next time."

[FstFtsVsFences]

That reminded me of this story my friend told me. His cousins from Scotland were here in America back in 2000, and so my friend Paul took his then 18 year old cousin up to the city to show her New York. They saw a few landmarks, and she asks if they can go see the World Trade Center. It was kind of late in the day and my friend Paul was pretty tired, so he told her "Eh, they'll be here next time."
Oh snap.

[CHRISRIPPEDOUT]

Oh snap.
ditto

[lovely864md]

what an amazing thread...I am currently at a loss for words.

[abbreviation]

hahahahaha

what happened to the scene points on this website? I would have given you 1000000+

that was hilarious.

[xYouFailMex]

lmao thats great

[tragic.beauty]

LMAO that was great.

[Ruggiero2oo8]

i actually laughed my ass off when i read this...i dont know why...


same here..... hahaha

[selftitled85]

its the monster mash!

haha touche kid.

[Kram41]

:appl:

[save_me]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT THATS FUNNY




wow. good job fucking you cousin.

[jaimej]

Amazing.

[mogwaifearsatan]

One time my friend made out with this girl at a party, only to find out about a month later that they were second cousins. This happened over a year ago and not a day goes by where we don't remind him of it.

[Make Out Kid]

Bump

[jaimej]

Hahahaha oh how I love this thread.

[jaimej]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT THATS FUNNY




wow. good job fucking you cousin.
shut the fuck up. douche.

[SiNgLiKeCAC]

you might be going to hell

[Drew Beringer]

hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahah

[itsjdiggity]

haha

[CorporateFish]

Hahahahahahaahaa I just got punk'd

[Broken Parachute]

I laughed at this for like 3 minutes. Literally. That's the greatest thing I've ever seen.

[aminorthreat55]

Classique.

[preppyak]

Is this winning thread of the year?

[x_Thrice_x]

lmao, I've heard funny shit about the Monster Mash thread...

[dashboard1190]

that made my day

[lucky_krystle]

hahaha... this definitely made my day too!

[marrost]

Yea you know.

[weezer182]

one of the funniest threads on here. so great.

[somethingyellow]

I leaned forward in disbelief of where this story was leading. Then i laughed at those timeless lyrics.hahaha i know what you mean

[apoemtothedead]

Top 5 threads ever. I've used this joke/story so many times.

[crit]

a+

[lightcollapse]

oh god ITS BACK

best. thread. ever.

[Suchasucker]

Definitely the best use of random lyrics that I've ever seen.

Bravo.

[Freud]

hahaha. i actually laughed pretty hard at that one :)

[pUnkKid174]

I leaned forward in disbelief of where this story was leading. Then i laughed at those timeless lyrics.
same here

[emery91389]

wow. The mental images I got from that were beyond disturbing. But the kick ass lyrics made it all better.

[andrewlterry]

So did you fuck her or what?
WOW. HAhahahaha.

[jaimej]

Ahhhhhhhhhbump!

[Blake Solomon]

hahaahaha. i think the font really helps you sell it even better. You had me going for a while, I thought you were going to ask for help or something, I was like "oh shit". Well played, sir. Well played.

[pacific eyes]

that was hilarious hahahahaha.


but this reminds me of the time a friend of mine made out with a 2nd degree cousin of hers.....and he was like 1 or 2 years younger......gross. but yet again...they were both pretty much drunk, so I guess it doesn't really count, eh?

[Rock]

that was great, man. the use of "monster mash" lyrics here was amazing.

edit: i didn't realize until just now how old this thread is. regardless, good call on bumping it.

[_Andrew]

hahaha i too am impressed, lol.. that really had me going lol...

damn this thread is old..

[ExhaleThePain]

Thank you for bumping this.

[SilverStar89]

Hahahahaha.


I still laugh every time I see this thread. And Mark's comment. hahahah.

[fedhed7]

Great bump. Hilarious.

[Jra1]

this thread was the zenith of the personal life forum.

[weekend_warrior]

I leaned forward in disbelief of where this story was leading. Then i laughed at those timeless lyrics.

bahaha same here!!!!

i got so scared.

[xearlynovemberx]

:rotfl:

[El_Jeffe]

hahahahaha that was bloody brilliant

[baktwrdmourning]

Meeeeeeee to....

That was so awkward there for a second....

[ForeverInADay]

:rotfl:
haha thank you for bumping this.

[Scuba Chris]

super bump.

[jaimej]

Hahaha I bumped this a few months back. Amazing thread.

[marrost]

Haha damn this is over a year old already.

[jaimej]

Haha damn this is over a year old already.

Haha I know. This thread is where I realized my undying love for you. I'll be in Hoboken this weekend btw. Haha.

[Jra1]

this is still the greatest thread ive ever read on AP.

[Jra1]

haha thank you for bumping this.

i love you for having an AS Roma icon.

Forza Giallorossi.

[ForeverInADay]

i love you for having an AS Roma icon.

Forza Giallorossi.
I can't believe they lost to Inter this past week.

[Jra1]

Gutting, but then Inter are future scudetto holders... and it's only 3 or 4 games in.

[livethesounds]

haha genius, pure genuis. kudos to you.

[vandalsandquinn]

hahaha

[ForeverInADay]

Gutting, but then Inter are future scudetto holders... and it's only 3 or 4 games in.
Regardless, perfect season is gone hahaha

[RedWineSheets]

There has yet to be a moment to beat this thread in AP.net History.:-D

[XpunkXroutineX]

same thing happened to me.

;-)

[DeadToTheWorld]

That was really nice, I haven't heard the monster mash in a long time, very very clever!!!!!!

[Harold Wood]

I jammed my cousin once

good thing I am from tennessee

[ForeverInADay]

haha yay its back!

[preppyak]

There has yet to be a moment to beat this thread in AP.net History.:-D
haha yay its back!
Ha, I know...I saw the title and something about "cousin", and I was happy.

[richter915]

classic

[apoemtothedead]

I've just stumbled across this for the first time, this is one of the reasons I love the internet.
The other four reasons being various types of porn.

[DeadCityScars]

I only have 2 cousins (that I've seen) and they are both dudes younger than me. So I never quite felt the 'severity' of grossness when it comes to banging a cousin of the opposite sex. Some of my friends have hott cousins and I would bang them. *shrugs*

[joker1648]

great, now i cant eat dinner

dude, gross

[LuvH8sU]

lol, i didn't even see that coming!

[Smash Adams]

RIP Bobby Pickett :-(

also, nice for the op, for this and the tenacious d reference, assuming they're still here

[m_rue]

hahahahaha aw shit I remember having to do some stupid dance to that in like 1st grade.

[AnF1500]

I loled alot at this.

[Chancetobe]

I'm so glad this story was meant for a laugh.

[ascitiesburn101]

haha this thread was awesome

[AP_Punk]

So good.

[richter915]

classic. absolute gold!

[tambam]

Damnit, I missed it. :-(

[Monkey_vs_Robot]

damn...

[Esrb99]

this is great.

[nacho libre]

pics? hahahaha

[ForeverInADay]

RIP Bobby Pickett :-(

also, nice for the op, for this and the tenacious d reference, assuming they're still here

hahahahaha yay its back again!

[3mpire]

Lol! Just read this for the first time, n had to bump it.

[better with a pen]

haha thank you for bumping this.
got a good laugh.

[Shatter590]

http://www.rockyarchive.org/img/rhps/RHPS-Credits-TimCurryL.png

[preppyak]

bump

[AP_Punk]

Hahaha still gets me everytime.

[marrost]

hahaha this thread just turned 2.

[preppyak]

hahaha this thread just turned 2.
I remember its original posting...it was right when I started posting regularly, and I frequented the Personal Life forum...those were good times

[crit]

yessssssssssss

[pshh]

bumppppppppp lol

[marrost]

bumppppppppp lolit was bumped 15 minutes ago. stop trying to steal the credit from preppy.

[preppyak]

hahaha...I believe all the credit goes to YoungNastyMan

[Steeeeve]

So did you fuck her or what?
:lol:

[flash_gorton]

Haha, this made me giggle a little.

[TMartin442]

god i bet you were confused

[marrost]

:lol:I'm glad that my post is still getting laughs 2 years later also haha.

[Steeeeve]

I'm glad that my post is still getting laughs 2 years later also haha.

it was a great post.

[sdbrown]

it was bumped 15 minutes ago. stop trying to steal the credit from preppy.
I didn't see the username that bumped this and I thought you were making an AC Slater reference. but no :(

oh and this thread is one of the best.

[emerypearl]

the monster mash, priceless

[Intertwined]

So you fucked your cousin to the song, "Monster Mash"?
Rofl.
Great thread.

[pinkluv13]

hilarious :-D

[theguilt engine]

it's just a cousin...FUCK HER.

just kidding

kinda.

[chronomic]

lolol fuckin awesome thread

[RyanHall]

a kid i went to college with dated a girl for a while then years later his mom married her dad so now they are siblings so we always gave him shit for making out with his sister

[meliisssaaaa]

i read the first sentence and knew it was a jokee

[Name_Taken]

hahahaha

[Hamlet]

I remember seeing this on another forum...

...a timeless classic.

[Judge'sDaughter]

best thread in a long long time
*hahahaha* comepletely agree.

*priceless*

[theguilt engine]

This is STILL funny. Hahaha.

[xvszero]

I pretty much model my entire life after the original post.

[Derekx]

Hahaha, this is a winner.

[PadraicPrincess]

hahahaha. wooooo

[johnh5304]

You got me.

[bootsydan]

I love it when people pay out the personal life forum.

EDIT: Just realised this thread was two years old. And still oh so relevant. Oh man haha.

[UntilItKillsYou]

fantastic

[immorehxcthanu]

my smoker's cough nearly killed me laughing at this.

[hellsfailure]

Is this a true story or wat?

[Rock]

Is this a true story or wat?
The fact that it included the lyrics to the theme song for Fresh Prince of Bel-Air wasn't any indication to you?

p.s. Don't answer this question.

[fadedmemories]

i thought you really fucked your cousin

[mybreakingpoint]

Man, for a second there I was starting to think I wasn't the only one who had.

[screamoutmyname]

hahahahahaha

[notoaststereo]

i remember seeing this a while ago. i giggled.

[Dervela]

hahahhahhaah that's great.

[JustAnotherPoet]

oh dear god...hahaha

[jaimej]

This needs another bump.

[DaveZeroZero]

I lol'd.

[argg_xo]

Yesss!!!!

[HelpMeSleep]

hahaha. great bump.

[mattmatumbo]

I leaned forward in disbelief of where this story was leading. Then i laughed at those timeless lyrics.

haha yeah same same

[nikkidynac]

Dude... I was like " this kid is really going to tell the world he fucked his cousin?"

[hockeycoshow1]

This thread brings the lolz ever time it comes back I keep expecting it to be something else but then bam monster mash.

[sweetforever]

:appl:

[caress me down]

lololol. clever.

[Demonic_101]

lmao damn. i thought u actually did the dirty with your cousin i was like, how disturbing, then i read on and busted out laughing. lol good one.

[Metfan615]

:rotfl::rotfl:

[new_arbiter]

Lol, good bump.

[GetWellBoss]

nice. i always love coming back to this story.

[phil19]

that is some funny shit!!
i love that song!!

[anamericangod]

This thread is like an AP graveyard. So many names in here of people that have passed on.

[DaveZeroZero]

Except for, unfortunately, me.

[berskyjr]

i never read this thread before. everyone was suckin the makers cock about it. i didn't think it was that funny.

[chronomic]

i wont forget the first time i read this thread. nothing has been able to trick me as much.

[fadedmemories]

Good bump

[SwishMX48]

haha I live when this thread gets bumped.

[caLLmEnOoNe]

i never read this thread before. everyone was suckin the makers cock about it. i didn't think it was that funny.
haha funny

[Smash Adams]

happy halloween

[#WhiteFender#]

love it.

[kaycey]

hate it ?

[Who's Chris?]

sometimes i wonder why i keep reading posts like these... ugh

[absolutecrunnk]

fuckd up but funny

[screamoutmyname]

hahahahaha i remember this thread! so awesome!

[thespearkid]

Hahahahahaha.

[danatan79]

lol

[lovely864md]

what an amazing thread...I am currently at a loss for words.

13 year old me!!!

[mattmatumbo]

best, thread, ever!

[TeLlTaLeHeArT]

Its legal in scotland, you two could get married

[AP_Punk]

classic.

[thesafeword]

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that that wasn't very funny.

[alltimehoe93]

I leaned forward in disbelief of where this story was leading. Then i laughed at those timeless lyrics.

lol same reaction.

[Heart-A-Tact]

This is golden.

[TheSkyline]

13 year old me!!!

It's almost like going back in time. That's pretty weird. haha

[lovely864md]

It's almost like going back in time. That's pretty weird. haha

I was such an awesome 13 year old. I love it.

[TheSkyline]

I was such an awesome 13 year old. I love it.

Hahaha, I hope someday I can look back at my posts as a 15 year old and remember how much of a bamf I was. haha

[lovely864md]

Hahaha, I hope someday I can look back at my posts as a 15 year old and remember how much of a bamf I was. haha

Next Monday I will look back on my posts as a 16 year old and quietly reflect on my newfound maturity.

[PadraicPrincess]

woooww hahaha. I was going to be like, aw no, not another fucked up personal life story.

[drewziph]

hahahaha did laugh out loud in bed.

[Jackfrost50]

Haha.
I feel like an ass for falling for this.

[speakhandsforme]

still the best thread ever created on this website.

[swirlofhues]

the best thread to ever grace this forum; a legend.

[ted is lying]

Once i saw the mash I knew it lead to the monster mash. Maybe im to psycho?

[chassmariee]

HAHAHA. I was so scaredv that you actually fucked your cousin.

[mattmatumbo]

It's OCTOBER AGAIN!!! I loved this thread!

[Thesleepingwell]

It's OCTOBER AGAIN!!! I loved this thread!

Agreed.

[alltimeGreg]

hahahahahhahaha

[caress me down]

fantastic bump!

[abbreviation]

as soon as I read "did the mash" I thought to myself ....

"the monster mash?"

[TheFractlEffect]

was looking forward to a great story

[Nick Le]

Lololol omg.

[SeanEBoy2686]

missed this the past two years apparently... i find it hilarious though

[Truman122]

Haha jesus christ I'm crying. That's classic.

[spritelybrin]

hahahah... i seriously didnt know what to think at first..then saw those lyrics lol

[Jennurna Gray]

oh, so you didn't?.. whaa?

[argg_xo]

bumpin' again, because i love this thread.

[phil19]

the monster mash is one of my all time favourite songs

[Jaimehere]

didn't find this funny AT ALL

[alecksisx33]

hahaha .gooooooddddd shit .

[pr0digy]

holy shit that made my day

[greenteaallday]

hahahaha win.

[ReadyForAction]

Great success!

[Sventhegreat]

Ha ha! Ha ha!

[HelpMeSleep]

great bump. rereading this again, I totally forgot and was like reading it in disbelief and then it got to the mash and I was like OH YEAHHH I REMEMBER THIS. hahaha.

[Metal Now]

What a tune.