36 Things to Do in an Exam, if You Are Going to Fail Anyways!

[Eric Burt]

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Masturbate.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E...."

34. Fake an orgasm. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #__ moved you, deeply.

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

[BrennanHickson]

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

Game Boys still exist?

[thesafeword]

Maybe if I was 14, this would be funny.

[OldJersey]

That fucking sucked.

[Eric Burt]

Heh, if some had humor it would be funny and when some don't then it wouldn't be funny. You've just gota imagine things once in awhile mate. ^^

[OldJersey]

Heh, if some had humor it would be funny and when some don't then it wouldn't be funny. You've just gota imagine things once in awhile mate. ^^

You need to develop a real sense of humor, you are young though, you still have time, you just might make it.

[OldJersey]

Game Boys still exist?

Why wouldn't it?

[BrennanHickson]

Maybe if I was 14, this would be funny.
I'm 14. It's not.

[Eric Burt]

Heh, whatever I don't really give a fuck. I not saying you have to do any of this. I just put it up for shits and giggles, so go ahead and be dicks all you want.

[BrennanHickson]

Heh, whatever I don't really give a fuck. I not saying you have to do any of this. I just put it up for shits and giggles, so go ahead and be dicks all you want.
Such colorful language...

Anyway, the members here are pretty cynical and will always find something to criticize. Seeing as you have only 13 posts you haven't been exposed much to the pessimism of the AP.net community. If you aren't tolerant of critics or aren't one yourself, you may as well abandon your AbsolutePunk.net membership now.

[thesafeword]

It's just not funny, stop being a whiny little bitch.

[OldJersey]

Such colorful language...

Anyway, the members here are pretty cynical and will always find something to criticize. Seeing as you have only 13 posts you haven't been exposed much to the pessimism of the AP.net community. If you aren't tolerant of critics or aren't one yourself, you may as well abandon your AbsolutePunk.net membership now.


So you're just gonna say this in every thread that you can?

[Eric Burt]

Do you see me being whiny, no. I was stating and saying my opinion that im intitled too. sigh.

[BrennanHickson]

So you're just gonna say this in every thread that you can?
Yes.

[OldJersey]

Yes.


:ok:

[thesafeword]

Heh, if some had humor it would be funny and when some don't then it wouldn't be funny. You've just gota imagine things once in awhile mate. ^^

Heh, whatever I don't really give a fuck. I not saying you have to do any of this. I just put it up for shits and giggles, so go ahead and be dicks all you want.
Questioning somebody's sense of humor and trying to look tough by swearing at them when they don't think that your shitty joke is funny is whiny to me.

[Eric Burt]

Where in the hell did I say it was a joke? Btw, I wasn't trying to act tough, I was just pissed off people have to think so freakin' negatively. Im guessing it going to be hard to do something right on this forum because if you do something wrong you will get flamed for it and they don't even try and be nice and try and help me have a better experience here. shesh.

[thesafeword]

It's the internet; wipe off your tears, give your mommy one more hug and drop a pair or get the fuck off.

[OldJersey]

You're not doing anything wrong, you're just not entertaining us. When that happens, shit gets slung.

[Eric Burt]

It's the internet; wipe off your tears, give your mommy one more hug and drop a pair or get the fuck off.

Are you fucked? Do you accually think everyone on the Internet is a flaming whore and a selfish dick? Cause if you think so, YOUR FUCKED. Wow, you are totally on my negative side right now.

[Eric Burt]

You're not doing anything wrong, you're just not entertaining us. When that happens, shit gets slung.

I get your point now. x_x

[thesafeword]

Are you fucked? Do you accually think everyone on the Internet is a flaming whore and a selfish dick? Cause if you think so, YOUR FUCKED. Wow, you are totally on my negative side right now.
If you think that everybody on the internet is going to hold your hand and accept you then you're fucked, this isn't Canada you illiterate fuck; you're you're you're. Now go to bed, it's pretty late for somebody your age.

[Eric Burt]

If you think that everybody on the internet is going to hold your hand and accept you then you're fucked, this isn't Canada you illiterate fuck; you're you're you're. Now go to bed, it's pretty late for somebody your age.

Now you're bringing Canada into this. You're fucked. Never said I wanted everyone on the internet to hold my hand and accept me. Its just the selfish pricks like you, that need to go get a fuckin' life. Anyways go think what you want, Im not wasting my time and life on your complete BULLSHIT.

[thesafeword]

Now you're bringing Canada into this. You're fucked. Never said I wanted everyone on the internet to hold my hand and accept me. Its just the selfish pricks like you, that need to go get a fuckin' life. Anyways go think what you want, Im not wasting my time and life on your complete BULLSHIT.
Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Or should I put it so you understand it; do YOU kiss YOUR mother with THAT mouth?

[Eric Burt]

Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Or should I put it so you understand it; do YOU kiss YOUR mother with THAT mouth?

I remeber stating that I am not going to waste my time or life on anymore of your complete BULLSHIT but thanks for trying to get me on the BULLSHIT EXPRESS, I don't think Ill be taking taht for awhile now.

[thesafeword]

I remeber stating that I am not going to waste my time or life on anymore of your complete BULLSHIT but thanks for trying to get me on the BULLSHIT EXPRESS, I don't think Ill be taking taht for awhile now.
Fuck you, you're an unitelligent little fuck who is trying to act like he knows everything.

[Eric Burt]

Fuck you, you're an unitelligent little fuck who is trying to act like he knows everything.

Fuck you, you're an unitelligent fuck that is trying to look like hes the king of the world and can talk shit but in the real world you are a little fuck, who gets fucked up the ass. Anyways, Im totally not talking to you anymore, you're just way to negative and its starting to make me negative and think I can do whatever I want and I don't want that. Sorry, for the unitelligent words, that you use all the time.

[thesafeword]

Fuck you, you're an unitelligent fuck that is trying to look like hes the king of the world and can talk shit but in the real world you are a little fuck, who gets fucked up the ass. Anyways, Im totally not talking to you anymore, you're just way to negative and its starting to make me negative and think I can do whatever I want and I don't want that. Sorry, for the unitelligent words, that you use all the time.
Hey piss for brains, how come you keep saying that you're going to stop talking to me, yet you keep on doing it?

[Eric Burt]

How come you can't man up, and shut the fuck up about this. Cause I honestly don't give a shit anymore. You we're doing good but then you had come post again, didn't you and its just going to happening of one of us doesn't just STFU and deal with it.

[thesafeword]

You obviously give a shit, because you just keep bitching about it.

[KAYLEIGHCONTROL]

Is it weird that I can't decide whether or not I find this funny?
It shouldn't be funny but phrases like "Say you lost the first one." made me laugh.


I'll shut up now @_@

[kaycey]

copy 36 times.

[lindZ629]

Every single one of those would get you beat up after class...if not worse.

[alert=danger]

Lol At the hardcore internet fight club.

Also i found this amusing, mainly because i have exams coming up and i can picture myself doing this...

[Eric Burt]

Lol At the hardcore internet fight club.

Also i found this amusing, mainly because i have exams coming up and i can picture myself doing this...

No offense, but atleast someone has some humor. ; )

[TK]

Awesome thread, not because the original post, that was stupid, but because of the fighting the ensued afterward.

[LamarVannoy]

this is why people under the age of 16 should not be allowed anywhere near the internet.

[thesafeword]

:-|
Leave!

[lightcollapse]

Oh lawd.

[Sargent Sausage]

i have an exam tomorrow. might use # 24

[buttoned-shut]

i wish i was still in school/studying so i could actually do one/some of these...
i think i'd be more likely to do others from notes regarding "what to do in an elevator" or.. what to do in a department store".... rather then jeopardize my 'education'...

[sweetforever]

:eyebrow:

[disco.tetris]

Isn't this off facebook? From the group of the same name?

[ihbneydu]

Honestly, if you've taken as many exams as I have, this is funny. There are sometimes when you just get the urge to do these things, especially if they're brainless tests.

[more heart]

You really should stop with these stupid threads.

[anamericangod]

Honestly, if you've taken as many exams as I have, this is funny. There are sometimes when you just get the urge to do these things, especially if they're brainless tests.

You're right, you have obviously taken more exams than any of us have, ever. You are like the fucking Captain Ahab of exams. I admire you.

[ihbneydu]

Shuddup. I know other people have taken more exams, but after a while they get old and you just want to fuck with people. I just appreciate this. I go to an all gifted school, and they make up take multiple exams every week. We get bored, we get annoyed, we actually WANT to be back in class. Plus, we also are used to having teachers do these things as we are taking tests, so it's just...idk...whatever, think what you want, I don't care, but this is just my opinion, not yours, so don't judge people for thinking differently.

[BlinkxExists21]

i found some of them amusing, but no one would have the guts to do most of them haha.

[thesollopsist]

Bit juvenile, still I can understand the mentality of these. And you're free to do whatever you like, however stupid it may be.

[ablueskytragedy]

nwaY

[Duexy]

ass

[andrewshungry]

i laughed pretty hard at a few of these. then again i'm incredibly immature

[himynameisalan]

well some of my good times include playing pokemon after i knew i failed, and also spit balls, damn good times and umm hmm there was a question with a man and a wall on the other side and you had to do some maths equasion to figure out wat was stopping the man from getting there, =S long story short i drew an elephant in the middle, that will sure stop the man, i copped it for that one

[himynameisalan]

lol some of them were actually funny as all hell

[spriltsc]

i think alot of these would get you expelled

[screamoutmyname]

You're right, you have obviously taken more exams than any of us have, ever. You are like the fucking Captain Ahab of exams. I admire you.

hahahahahahahahahahaha

greatest. response. ever.

[parkerjamison]

honestly, this shit would still make me laugh if someone did this.

[mikebup777]

#35
JRA5aGEJMkc&feature=related

[altemose09]

i laughed out loud for most of these

[Cockstrong]

I used to like lists like this....I don't anymore.

[concernedparent]

This was mostly stupid, but this made me laugh pretty hard- "31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her."

[killerswells]

original post = retarded

argument that ensued = i love ap.net

[sheslostcontrol]

No one would ever do these. No one has guts, because no one wants to fail at life, and if you fail a major exam, your futures over. Period.

[BlinkxExists21]

No one would ever do these. No one has guts, because no one wants to fail at life, and if you fail a major exam, your futures over. Period.

i like your avatar.

[poi]

I'm 14. It's not. This.

[poi]

this is why people under the age of 16 should not be allowed anywhere near the internet. Having fun being an adult?

[Poochemist]

#35
JRA5aGEJMkc&feature=related

This was so satisfying.

[bertpwns]

Wow..
This is worse than a YouTube debate.
Will people ever learn to just shut the hell up?
Grow up, already.

[AliceRocks]

I once got so pissed at my professor for speech that I wrote a 7 minute speech on the best ways to entertain yourself during an exam. It went a lot like that list.

[thesafeword]

Grow up, already.
Says the girl typing in red font.

[doppelganger]

Wow..
This is worse than a YouTube debate.
Will people ever learn to just shut the hell up?
Grow up, already.

whoa. i wish people were more mature like you. //

[tune!t]

wel im 16 an i thought it was funny!!

[thesafeword]

You also type like you're twelve, so...

[emisme]

i thought it was funny!

[robat19]

You're right, you have obviously taken more exams than any of us have, ever. You are like the fucking Captain Ahab of exams. I admire you.

only funny thing said in this thread.

[Hockeytown]

I don't know why, but I always find these really funny. Like the 101 things to do in a Walmart, or the 7 worst test answers.Haha

[kaycey]

bite my nails for starters.

[sheslostcontrol]

bite my nails for starters.

That'd be me too. I'd probably be hyperventilating, sighing and wishing my stupid brain would remember (:

[kaycey]

That'd be me too. I'd probably be hyperventilating, sighing and wishing my stupid brain would remember (:
well just as long as you remember to breath i'm sure you'll be fine :-)

[Reaver]

Honestly, if you've taken as many exams as I have, this is funny. There are sometimes when you just get the urge to do these things, especially if they're brainless tests.

this. i know I am going to be flamed for saying this, but I found this funny. a lot. best was
12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

I understand that you people just HAVE to post your crap in every thread regardless of whether you have a clue or not. but do you have to flame like that? seriously, how can you say this isn't funny when you haven't written a single fucking exam in your whole fucking life?

still, it's true that Mr. threadstarter isn't any better. Making threads by copying some "x things to do" lists from another website sucks. you should flame him on that one.

[stayillogical]

I find lists like these funny. My favorite is ways to scare your roommate.

[saysmydoctor]

1-36. Study before the goddamn exam, you piece of shit.

[SayHannah]

35 is the best one, would LOVE to do that :-d

[p0isonedgames]

You're not doing anything wrong, you're just not entertaining us. When that happens, shit gets slung.
Oh I don't know. I'm pretty entertained.

[samsara]

:popcorn:

[Bruised26]

Some of these are pretty funny, some of them are just retarded though haha

"Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away." hahahahaha

[Nerdy91]

Awesome thread, not because the original post, that was stupid, but because of the fighting the ensued afterward.
i agree

[YoMusicSoFat]

You're right, you have obviously taken more exams than any of us have, ever. You are like the fucking Captain Ahab of exams. I admire you.
:rotfl:

[kdefrisc]

lol at 10, 24, 35 and 36