Dealing with death...

[llwilliamsll]

So...the passing of a loved one brings upon a realization that someone/ or something that has been around before is no longer more. And what I have wondered is how people deal with the loss of a loved one. Whether it be a loved one or so. Just curious I suppose. For me, I haven't cried over a loved one ever, which is depressing. Let's here yours.

[Chris Fallon]

The last time I really lost someone close to me was about five years ago. It's a surreal feeling, one that really comes with a lack of adjectives -- at least to describe how you truly feel. It takes time to adjust, however that simply goes without saying.

For me, my grandpa was a monumental part of my life. From the day I was born, he ensured I was taken care of, even when my somewhat malfunctioned youth took a toll on me. He was always there to make sure I would turn out alright -- he did a pretty good job, despite the fact that he made some mistakes in his past. It was like he got a second chance with me when my mom gave birth.

Anyway, keeping all that in mind, losing him was just a shock. That is all there is to it. He had surgery to fix a respiratory problem he'd been dealing with, and after some complications, we were told he had only 6-12 months left. The next day, he was gone. When it hits you so unexpectedly, it's a much different shock than hearing sometime will die in an allotted amount of time. I had no time to say anything to him one last time, and that was the part that still remains with me. Eventually, time goes on and you have to move on with your life, but the optimistic part of it all? You're human, and it goes to show some significance in your own life. So at least that's the positive of it all.

That's my story. Hope it can help anyone in any way.

[the1]

For me, I've only lost my Grandma and one of my Aunts.
I wasn't very close to either of them, so strangely it didn't really affect me at all. But I guess the best way to deal with it would be to realize that unfourtunately death is inevitable, and you can only move on from it.

[godfree]

i lost my father to suicide when i was 7 years old. and at such a young age youre not really sure how to deal with death. but it only really hit me that he was gone once i got into some deep shit with drugs. once i sobered up i started writing a daily journal to my dad and it really helped me out. id suggest it to everyone whos ever lost someone close to them.

[TotalCollapse]

I have not lost anyone close to me since I was very young, but I found out that my grandmother has cancer and we were told that she is going to die within the next six months or year. I'm not quite sure how I'll react to it, but I feel like it's a little easier to deal with death when you know it's going to happen and the person has lived a long life. She also has alzheimers and her memory is very bad and I feel like she'd be a lot happier in heaven and not in any more pain. So death can sometimes be a relief knowing the person is not in pain anymore.

[tomakebelieve]

The only death I experienced before I turned 19 was my grandfather's death when I was 9. My grandpa was the glue that held my family together. His strict German rules, his compassion, and his wisdom and knowledge were always presented when he was around. With him living with us, my family had much order and not so much chaos. With him we had the "american dream" mostly. And then he died, and it was like my family's entire world crumbled for a while there. But, in time, we learned how to function without his guidance.

When he passed away, I got a huge package full of his photos. He was always talking about his travels and experiences in the military (he received a purple heart for his service in world war two). I still love going through the pictures--I want to micmic some of them someday if I can. One of his favorite things to do was to go to the top of the tallest building he could find and take a picture of himself overlooking the city.

But, I was still really young my grandfather died, so, I don't remember crying. I remember being very sad, but I didn't cry. My dad insisted us kids (my sister and I) couldn't go to the funeral (which was open casket) so he brought us to a restaurant while everyone paid their respects. He did take us to the grave though, the next day. He let us have our alone time with the grave, and I just remember talking about what I needed advice on, hoping he'd send me a message from heaven with some guidance.

I guess the death that really tore me apart was my dad's. I was his baby, his "punky brewster," his favorite little girl, and we despite having our problems (he kicked me out once to teach me a lesson), we were still closer to each other than anyone else in this house. My dad had been sick my entire life--in fact, most of the time, when my friends met my dad they asked if he was my grandfather.

But really, after my grandpa died, my dad really was the only the only adult I trusted.

Watching someone you love die is probably the worst experience ever. I watched him die. Stood next to him and cried. And cried.

He's almost been gone for a year now. February 20th is going to be one tough day.

[TotalCollapse]

The only death I experienced before I turned 19 was my grandfather's death when I was 9. My grandpa was the glue that held my family together. His strict German rules, his compassion, and his wisdom and knowledge were always presented when he was around. With him living with us, my family had much order and not so much chaos. With him we had the "american dream" mostly. And then he died, and it was like my family's entire world crumbled for a while there. But, in time, we learned how to function without his guidance.

When he passed away, I got a huge package full of his photos. He was always talking about his travels and experiences in the military (he received a purple heart for his service in world war two). I still love going through the pictures--I want to micmic some of them someday if I can. One of his favorite things to do was to go to the top of the tallest building he could find and take a picture of himself overlooking the city.

But, I was still really young my grandfather died, so, I don't remember crying. I remember being very sad, but I didn't cry. My dad insisted us kids (my sister and I) couldn't go to the funeral (which was open casket) so he brought us to a restaurant while everyone paid their respects. He did take us to the grave though, the next day. He let us have our alone time with the grave, and I just remember talking about what I needed advice on, hoping he'd send me a message from heaven with some guidance.

I guess the death that really tore me apart was my dad's. I was his baby, his "punky brewster," his favorite little girl, and we despite having our problems (he kicked me out once to teach me a lesson), we were still closer to each other than anyone else in this house. My dad had been sick my entire life--in fact, most of the time, when my friends met my dad they asked if he was my grandfather.

But really, after my grandpa died, my dad really was the only the only adult I trusted.

Watching someone you love die is probably the worst experience ever. I watched him die. Stood next to him and cried. And cried.

He's almost been gone for a year now. February 20th is going to be one tough day.
Aww I'm sorry about your loss.

[t_ashley]

So...the passing of a loved one brings upon a realization that someone/ or something that has been around before is no longer more. And what I have wondered is how people deal with the loss of a loved one. Whether it be a loved one or so. Just curious I suppose. For me, I haven't cried over a loved one ever, which is depressing. Let's here yours.

My Gran still thinks im an ass because i didnt cry at my dads funeral, she thinks i went into some internal depression (yeah riiiiiight).

[Burning Star IV]

I lost a really good childhood friend around the time I graduated. I didn't want to believe it, and in a way, I still don't believe. Maybe that's how I subconsciously deal with it. Whenever I think about him, I don't think about how he's dead, I think about all the good times we had as kids and to me it makes me feel like he isn't really gone.

[ohheroine]

My sisters best friend was killed just over two years ago in a car accident. she was 14 years old and like the third child in our family. Losing her was one of the hardest things me or my family have had to deal with lately. There is really no way to cope with losing someone so close. even still i think about her pretty much every day.

[anamericangod]

When I moved to Georgia as a kid, the first friend I made was a guy who lived two houses down from me. He was the dude I'd run around with all day playing basketball, building forts with, that whole deal. He went to a different school for a few years but came back to finish up high school and we stayed friends. Right after we graduated, he was diagnosed with a brain tumor that got progressively worse. He ended up dying two years ago.

He got into Vanderbilt, knew five languages, was unbelievably smart, and the hardest working kid I'd ever known. As to why something like this happened to him, I still don't understand and it pretty much destroyed what little faith I had left. I was so fucked up the week he died I couldn't even make it to the funeral, I was an absolute disaster.

I got really tired of hearing people tell me "God has a plan." I'd want to believe everything happens for a reason, but with things like that, what are you supposed to believe? I'm still not over it.

[deFobbed14yrs]

my grandparents on my dad's side die within three months of each other my freshman year. i thought i knew what death was until a distant friend committed suicide last year. and a bunch of parents of my friends have died in the past month and its all weighing down. its kinda an insane time now. its all crap, it really is. the grim reaper knocks on the wrong doors

[raychull]

I lost a really good childhood friend around the time I graduated. I didn't want to believe it, and in a way, I still don't believe. Maybe that's how I subconsciously deal with it. Whenever I think about him, I don't think about how he's dead, I think about all the good times we had as kids and to me it makes me feel like he isn't really gone.

I'm the same way with my dad. I'm fine thinking about all of the stuff that we did together, and generally, I'm mostly okay now. But sometimes I'll get in this state of mind where I feel like he's just on an extended vacation. Then I freak when I realize he's not coming back.

Over all, I've done a lot better job with coping than I thought I would, but it still sucks.

[owiseone35]

I lost a really good childhood friend around the time I graduated. I didn't want to believe it, and in a way, I still don't believe. Maybe that's how I subconsciously deal with it. Whenever I think about him, I don't think about how he's dead, I think about all the good times we had as kids and to me it makes me feel like he isn't really gone.

I know exactly what your going through. When I was in 11th grade I had a really good friend that I played baseball with and we were close. The strange thing though is a week before he passed away, we talked about death and talked about what would be the best way to die and talked about what we thought are funeral would look like. So when he died I was just shocked. Me and my parents even visited his parents 3 days after the death and my parents were all in my face about how i didn't seem concerned/sympathetic enough towards their family/loss. I always kinda just thought it was routine of life.
Then i started having random seizures and almost died when i had one in a pool and my friends had to drag me out of the water. Being that close to death it shows you whats important in life. Not only that but i realized that how i actually acted at my friends funeral was sort of inappropriate. IDK but that's my two cents on death.No i live sober though.

[JaMi'SaVaMpIrE]

The first death I experienced was when I was 10. My Uncle that had been my only father figure in my life since my father disappeared when he found out my mom was pregnant with me was killed in a car accident by a drunk driver. Then 3 years later my mom died of cancer. I went into a huge depression period and hated everyone for a while. I especially hated it when people would hug me and tell me that they were sorry and that everything happens for a reason.

I was so sick of hearing "everything happens for a reason" That line is a bunch of bullshit to me.

My high school forced me to go to group councelling. I hated every minute of it. I would feel worse coming out of it. Most of the time when I came out of councelling I would collapse in the hallway and bawl my eyes out. I suffered numerous breakdowns. One of my breakdowns was so bad that I almost killed myself. But I've found methods to cope. Music being a major one. And there are always people there to help me out. You never get over the pain but you do find ways to get around the pain.