Work "Romance"

[envi]

So, there's this guy at work who I've had a huge crush on since shortly before the first time I slept with him back in the beginning of May. Since then, we've slept together twice more, the last time being on Sunday. The last time we slept together, he was like "I hope you're not expecting anything from this," to which I replied "Oh god no," because honestly? I'm not. At all. Though, I did offer him casual sex whenever he feels like it.

It hasn't affected our work at all (other than being teased mercilessly by coworkers after the first time it happened, since most of them where there at the time. They don't know about the next two).

Anyway, my question is, on a scale of 1 - 10, how bad of an idea is this?

[spansen]

6.

[thesafeword]

9.

See what I did there?

[envi]

Any reason it's not a ... say... one? =D?

[spansen]

because it's stupid, and you're asking what we think because you know it.

[envi]

because it's stupid, and you're asking what we think because you know it.

... Okay, that's a fairly good point. But casual sex with no expectations never hurt anyone, right?

EDIT: ... Other than STDs, of course.

[thespearkid]

If it's only casual and you both agree that it won't go beyond that and it's not affecting your relationship at work, then you're fine. I'll give it a 2 because you're a girl and therefore, you automatically run the risk of complications.

[fadedmemories]

Anal, then never talk again.

[Danlol]

you said you've got a huge crush on him. If you keep sleeping together that's probably only going to get worse. More than half the time one of you will get attached (by the sounds of things, you) and you'll be hurt by it. Kinda seems pointless to keep it going?

just what I'd do

[envi]

you said you've got a huge crush on him. If you keep sleeping together that's probably only going to get worse. More than half the time one of you will get attached (by the sounds of things, you) and you'll be hurt by it. Kinda seems pointless to keep it going?

just what I'd do

... The whole crush thing might partly be because he *coughtookmyvirginitycough*.

[bung]

... The whole crush thing might partly be because he *coughtookmyvirginitycough*.

lolz. Whatever you end up feeling for him, just remember: HE DOES NOT FEEL THE SAME.

[envi]

lolz. Whatever you end up feeling for him, just remember: HE DOES NOT FEEL THE SAME.

Oh, definitely know that much. And, even on the off chance he did, i'd never bother with a proper relationship as that only would lead to issues. See also: I've never had a relationship last for more than a month, he's never had one that lasted more than four.

[andrew4045]

you are just a sponge for him to stick his dick in. nothing should be off limits

[UntilItKillsYou]

You know how the golden rule is "love thy neighbor"? Well there is a rule above that called the platinum rule. "never ever ever ever 'love' thy neighbor." Dont poop where you eat. It's never a good idea to date or doink anyone you can't avoid when it's over. Your coworker, your doctor your bartender, your pharmacist, anyone. And if you currently are, stop or get married to avoid unbelivable awkwardness later.

[remedyeli]

sleeping around with your co-worker never works out good

[JustSway]

I'm willing to bet money that the second he finds someone else to stick it in you'll feel heartbroken and then you'll realise how terrible of an idea it was. The second you tell a dude its casual sex all feelings and consideration of yours go out the window.

[kaycey]

sleeping around with a co-worker gives me hope.

[Naenia]

I'd say 10.
Don't sleep around =)

[secretcrowds.]

1.

not a bad thing at all.

nice one.

[SpiritFilledRev]

Hei, U know that eventually he's gonna, or you're gonna meet someone else (since your thing is just ..a thing ) and one of you is gonna get hurt, or at least have your pride damaged. And THAT is where the work problems will start.
If it's just casual sex, then it's not that hard to stop, but you already contradicted that when u said that you had a crush on the guy, so from casual sex you now got some random get together, and soon enough you'll have a "do u wanna see me tomorrow" from one of the sides, and then ... you're gonna get burned.

Sorry, it's not my intent to be disencouraging you.

[Chris Fallon]

While you are young and it sounds like it's all in good spirits, I think you may be surprised at how much of an everlasting effect it can have on you. Eventually, that "casual sex" becomes more than what it seems -- and once somebody splits for a real relationship where they can express more & benefit in an emotional matter, someone will get hurt. Deny it all you'd like, because it's what you want to believe, but ultimately, someone always gets hurt.

More power to you for it never being awkward or anything at work, but in the long run, you both may regret bringing it further than you would have liked. When something seems too good to be true, it oftentimes is for very good reason -- as much as we like to keep these "good things" going, many times they wind up biting us in the ass before we realize it's too late.

[.invisible ink.]

Don't sleep with coworkers. that's never a good idea, as others have stated.

Casual sex/booty calls only work if you're a cold, hardened soulless person because you will eventually want something more, it's only natural. Go out and find someone else to fuck if you need to have sex that bad. This dude should just be someone you work with and nothing more. Get out while you can before you get your heart destroyed.

[Duexy]

what a ho

[Hamlet]

Wow. You both fail.

[fadedmemories]

THIS:
I'm willing to bet money that the second he finds someone else to stick it in you'll feel heartbroken and then you'll realise how terrible of an idea it was. The second you tell a dude its casual sex all feelings and consideration of yours go out the window.

[j-dogg_69]

Meh depends how you personally deal with everything. I had a similar situation with a co-worker last year/2007 btw (also she had been a close friend) then it all ended and I've not spoken to her in well over a year. However, I'd ended it because she ended up being a complete physco, I mean proper violent bitch! but casual is a very popular thing over here and 8/10 never ends badly, because you can be going with as many people as you want, easy enough to find someone new!

[raychull]

because it's stupid, and you're asking what we think because you know it.
:thumbup:

[Tanya Marie]

Sleeping with someone more then once can bring on emotions you didn't expect to have. I have done the whole "no strings attached thing" but eventually emotions do start happening and then feelings do get hurt which will lead to all sorts of bad shit, so yes its a bad idea :)

[secretcrowds.]

its not a fucking bad idea. its good, who gives a shit.

your getting laid, and if you dont give a fuck about the guy. its just win win. at least your getting some.

[SonEric84]

AP.net personal life forum: Always there to kill what little hope you had left for the world. :hammer:

[trappedintime]

I give it a 7.
It's gonna end bad.

[lovely864md]

So, there's this guy at work who I've had a huge crush on since shortly before the first time I slept with him back in the beginning of May. Since then, we've slept together twice more, the last time being on Sunday. The last time we slept together, he was like "I hope you're not expecting anything from this," to which I replied "Oh god no," because honestly? I'm not. At all. Though, I did offer him casual sex whenever he feels like it.

It hasn't affected our work at all (other than being teased mercilessly by coworkers after the first time it happened, since most of them where there at the time. They don't know about the next two).

Anyway, my question is, on a scale of 1 - 10, how bad of an idea is this?

Hahahahaha at the bolded part. Alright. You like him as more than a friend, he doesn't like you for more than friendship and some spread legs. How exactly is it that we're considering if this is even a good idea?

While you are young and it sounds like it's all in good spirits, I think you may be surprised at how much of an everlasting effect it can have on you. Eventually, that "casual sex" becomes more than what it seems -- and once somebody splits for a real relationship where they can express more & benefit in an emotional matter, someone will get hurt. Deny it all you'd like, because it's what you want to believe, but ultimately, someone always gets hurt.

More power to you for it never being awkward or anything at work, but in the long run, you both may regret bringing it further than you would have liked. When something seems too good to be true, it oftentimes is for very good reason -- as much as we like to keep these "good things" going, many times they wind up biting us in the ass before we realize it's too late.

When in doubt, do whatever Chris says.

[ZoSo1886]

best idea ever. especially if its the presidents daughter who happens to work there as well.

[Fallinto_rhythm]

hahahahahaha

[Chris Fallon]

Hahahahaha at the bolded part. Alright. You like him as more than a friend, he doesn't like you for more than friendship and some spread legs. How exactly is it that we're considering if this is even a good idea?



When in doubt, do whatever Chris says.
:bow:

I do my best to replicate Dr. Phil... but you know, with better logic and less mustache.

[jagermeister]

So, there's this guy at work who I've had a huge crush on since shortly before the first time I slept with him back in the beginning of May. Since then, we've slept together twice more, the last time being on Sunday. The last time we slept together, he was like "I hope you're not expecting anything from this," to which I replied "Oh god no," because honestly? I'm not. At all. Though, I did offer him casual sex whenever he feels like it.

It hasn't affected our work at all (other than being teased mercilessly by coworkers after the first time it happened, since most of them where there at the time. They don't know about the next two).

Anyway, my question is, on a scale of 1 - 10, how bad of an idea is this?

LOL @ these. And its definitely an 11.

[still]

6. also, somebody stole my avatar.

[MADSTA]

You know how the golden rule is "love thy neighbor"? Well there is a rule above that called the platinum rule. "never ever ever ever 'love' thy neighbor." Dont poop where you eat. It's never a good idea to date or doink anyone you can't avoid when it's over. Your coworker, your doctor your bartender, your pharmacist, anyone. And if you currently are, stop or get married to avoid unbelivable awkwardness later.
/THREAD

I came very close to buying the Bro Code today.

[ablueskytragedy]

9.

See what I did there?

OH!

icwutudidthar

On topic, I wouldn't keep doing it.

[speakhandsforme]

It hasn't affected our work at all (other than being teased mercilessly by coworkers after the first time it happened, since most of them where there at the time. They don't know about the next two)

Your coworkers were there...during the intercourse?

And I'd say you're a ten on the scale.

[swt_catastrophe]

dr... but work romances are generally speaking, not a good idea

[UntilItKillsYou]

/THREAD

I came very close to buying the Bro Code today.

I have it in paperback and audiobook.

[samsara]

yeah I wouldnt do it if things go bad then it will be a akaward situation that both of you will have to deal with.

oh yeah 5.5

[ajc1ne]

Yeah, it's all fun and games now but.....what happens when feelings get attached to the person? He took your virginity? You had a huge crush on him? Are you sure you're not feeling anything, because jealousy can (and most likely will) rear it's head the second he either:

A) Finds someone else to stick his dick in

or

B) Finds a girl he actually wants to have a relationship with

Now, think about how great (read: awkward/awful) It will be to spend a work week with him afterwards...

I'm not telling you not to do it, (you're a grown woman, and besides, you already have), just know that this kind of situation rarely yields good results..

2

[envi]

Your coworkers were there...during the intercourse?

And I'd say you're a ten on the scale.

Well, during the initial making out all night and then the sudden disappearance from the Casino.

Yeah, it's all fun and games now but.....what happens when feelings get attached to the person? He took your virginity? You had a huge crush on him? Are you sure you're not feeling anything, because jealousy can (and most likely will) rear it's head the second he either:

A) Finds someone else to stick his dick in

or

B) Finds a girl he actually wants to have a relationship with

Now, think about how great (read: awkward/awful) It will be to spend a work week with him afterwards...

I'm not telling you not to do it, (you're a grown woman, and besides, you already have), just know that this kind of situation rarely yields good results..

2

To your points: A: He finds lots of someone's to stick his dick in and I don't find I mind too much. I do the same. ... Not stick my dick in people, but you get the idea.

B: He actually just recently got out of a fairly serious relationship (they only dated for three months, but she moved from out-of-province and in with him). Apparently she hated me for god-knows what reason since we never exchanged ... a word, but I would've liked to get to know her, and didn't harbour any ill-will toward her.

[jagermeister]

Meh depends how you personally deal with everything. I had a similar situation with a co-worker last year/2007 btw (also she had been a close friend) then it all ended and I've not spoken to her in well over a year. However, I'd ended it because she ended up being a complete physco, I mean proper violent bitch! but casual is a very popular thing over here and 8/10 never ends badly, because you can be going with as many people as you want, easy enough to find someone new!

I need to live in this magical place you speak of.

[fadedmemories]

THIS:
I need to live in this magical place you speak of.

[automaticfail]

Ok in all honesty this is a bad idea......
I am speaking from personal experience......
I had the same situation a few weeks back and I had to stop it.......
I of you is bound to develop feelings and get hurt....
Stop it while you can......
I give it a 10

[amysaurus]

Only read the op, so here's my advice. Work romance is by far the dumbest thing you can do because if it goes wrong, it'll either be insufferably awkward and your coworkers are going to have to ultimately choose sides, or one of you is going to have to quit. Also, you should probably check with your company to see if that's even allowed in the first place. Most of the time it's not.

[llwilliamsll]

Maybe you'll end up like Jim and Pam from the Office and live happily ever after. I mean you have a crush on the guy right? What better way to say that than "I'll give you sex whenever you want"?

[lovekillsgirl]

I'd give it a 8. I mean sure it's all in good fun now but, what happens when he finds someone else and you're used to him? Or, dare I say it, end up pregnant? If any of that would happen, I'm sure work would then totally suck. I'd find someone out of your work and, someone who's maybe looking for a little more than casual sex.

[j-dogg_69]

I need to live in this magical place you speak of.

It's called the UK, and it really is magical...solely for that reason too!

[jagermeister]

It's called the UK, and it really is magical...solely for that reason too!

Booze everywhere, casual sex, and girls with cute accents.... need a room mate?

[j-dogg_69]

haha yes! i dont get on with mine, Glasgows probably the booziest/most sexing but worst accent in the UK! the only reason that nights out happen here is so you can bring someone home at the end of it, its completely normal!

[envi]

Only read the op, so here's my advice. Work romance is by far the dumbest thing you can do because if it goes wrong, it'll either be insufferably awkward and your coworkers are going to have to ultimately choose sides, or one of you is going to have to quit. Also, you should probably check with your company to see if that's even allowed in the first place. Most of the time it's not.

As for company policy: From precident, it's completely allowed. Current work underlying drama:

Q and B are brothers who both work with me. R is a girl who also works with me. B used to sleep with R, then R started dating Q, and they've been dating happily for... three years now? Maybe? I only started working about a year ago, so I can't say for sure. But dating's definitely allowed, and the guy who I mentioned in my OP says that he's definitely slept with other girls who've worked with him.

[j-dogg_69]

I don't think companies can actually stop colleagues dating anymore, it would be discrimination (well in the courts it could easily be construed as discrimination these days) against who you can and cannot date. My work is crazy for relationships, almost every guy has slept with almost every girl...me and my best mate are joint top in the 'been with the most girls' league :s

[kemichels]

Anal, then never talk again.


lulz, prolly what I should expect from you :)

[fadedmemories]

lulz, prolly what I should expect from you :)
:bow: