Losing friends

[framebyframe]

How did you deal with losing a best friend/friend because of a fight or just growing apart? Right now it feels like the worst thing ever. Especially when it's with someone who has been around for a good portion of your life.
Discuss/share stories.

[argg_xo]

this happened to me 2 summers ago. i stopped talking to my best friend of 15 years, we basically have ignored each other since then, even though we live across the street from each other.

[googirl8907]

It happened to me the last half of my senior year of high school. My bff all through high school got mad because I wasn't allowed to go out with her one day and she stopped talking to me because of it.

[Kbm600]

It's hard to really reel in friends once something has happened. I've had a good friend of mine since fourth grade who has grown apart quite a bit due to drug influence, change of religion (he would bash my religion...religiously), and just overall change of personality. It's sad to see and tears my heart up, we still talk a lot but it's obvious that we're not as nearly as close as we were as (younger) kids.

If it was just over the fight, I'd say cut the bullshit and try to do anything you can to talk to the person. It's worth giving up your pride sometimes.

[framebyframe]

this happened to me 2 summers ago. i stopped talking to my best friend of 15 years, we basically have ignored each other since then, even though we live across the street from each other.

Wow, I'm sorry. That must've been very hard. So many people have told me over and over how any good friendship can be saved, guess that's not the case.

It happened to me the last half of my senior year of high school. My bff all through high school got mad because I wasn't allowed to go out with her one day and she stopped talking to me because of it.

That's retarded. Doesn't sound like a very good friend, no offence. At least you know that it wasn't your fault it ended.

It's hard to really reel in friends once something has happened. I've had a good friend of mine since fourth grade who has grown apart quite a bit due to drug influence, change of religion (he would bash my religion...religiously), and just overall change of personality. It's sad to see and tears my heart up, we still talk a lot but it's obvious that we're not as nearly as close as we were as (younger) kids.

If it was just over the fight, I'd say cut the bullshit and try to do anything you can to talk to the person. It's worth giving up your pride sometimes.

I would, but it's been building up to this moment because of many small fights. We're in an argument where I don't agree with an ultimatum she's given me. Very difficult and tiring situation.

That sucks about your friend though. I don't know what I would do if I was losing a friend to drugs.

[Kbm600]

Wow, I'm sorry. That must've been very hard. So many people have told me over and over how any good friendship can be saved, guess that's not the case.



That's retarded. Doesn't sound like a very good friend, no offence. At least you know that it wasn't your fault it ended.



I would, but it's been building up to this moment because of many small fights. We're in an argument where I don't agree with an ultimatum she's given me. Very difficult and tiring situation.

That sucks about your friend though. I don't know what I would do if I was losing a friend to drugs.

I would inquire to what the ultimatum is considering the situation, any price to pay would seem sufficient enough for friendship I would think? But I don't want to be so bold and claim that without knowing the details. I hope it all works out though.

[Montauk1222]

Going through that right now but I'm not so torn up over it I was just absolutely sick of her shit so if she wants to be my friend she can start acting like one

[ZeroGravity107]

My best friend and I drifted when I was with my ex. She took up most of my time and we literally fought about me hanging out with him on occasion. The biggest thing was me wanting to move in with him and she didn't like that. We broke up and it was just too late I guess, because at that point my friend was just too busy to hang out with me for the most part. It sucked so bad that I had no one to help me get over this girl, considering I had lost touch with most of my friends because of her.

I spent several years taking this kid to all the parties I went to and the like. He's a couple years younger than me, so it kind of feels like now that he's got his own things to go to, he doesn't invite me. I was fairly bitter about it all in general for a while, but whatever, it's life.

[raychull]

It happened to me the last half of my senior year of high school. My bff all through high school got mad because I wasn't allowed to go out with her one day and she stopped talking to me because of it.
that's really absurd. but a classic reason of why I barely talk to anybody at school.


unfortunately, falling outs/distancing occur far too regularly to me now. it sucks. but, meh. I mean, I have two, absolute friends, who i've been friends with for five or six years now. basically everybody else comes and goes. as much as i dislike it. we just get out of contact. I don't really take it personally though. I have a couple of pretty good friends who I hardly get to see, but we're okay and all.

i don't know. i kind of think i've become far too immune to falling outs. now that i think about it, i really don't talk to a lot of people i used to be friends with back in early high school. but i don't really care. i just feel sort of apathetic about it, because i look back now, and a lot of them weren't very good people anyways.

i think in the end, i've made the right choices, and i'll stay in touch with those who matter most.

[thespearkid]

Losing friends really sucks, especially when they still try to be your friend but you just don't have any motivation to speak/hang out with them anymore. =(

[googirl8907]

Wow, I'm sorry. That must've been very hard. So many people have told me over and over how any good friendship can be saved, guess that's not the case.



That's retarded. Doesn't sound like a very good friend, no offence. At least you know that it wasn't your fault it ended.



I would, but it's been building up to this moment because of many small fights. We're in an argument where I don't agree with an ultimatum she's given me. Very difficult and tiring situation.

That sucks about your friend though. I don't know what I would do if I was losing a friend to drugs.
No offense taken. Looking back she really wasn't a very good friend. She never respected my personal limits.
that's really absurd. but a classic reason of why I barely talk to anybody at school.


unfortunately, falling outs/distancing occur far too regularly to me now. it sucks. but, meh. I mean, I have two, absolute friends, who i've been friends with for five or six years now. basically everybody else comes and goes. as much as i dislike it. we just get out of contact. I don't really take it personally though. I have a couple of pretty good friends who I hardly get to see, but we're okay and all.

i don't know. i kind of think i've become far too immune to falling outs. now that i think about it, i really don't talk to a lot of people i used to be friends with back in early high school. but i don't really care. i just feel sort of apathetic about it, because i look back now, and a lot of them weren't very good people anyways.

i think in the end, i've made the right choices, and i'll stay in touch with those who matter most.
I only talk to like 2 or 3 people from hs. I can't stand most of them.

[OldJersey]

Losing friends really sucks, especially when they still try to be your friend but you just don't have any motivation to speak/hang out with them anymore. =(

Yes that is for sure the worst.

[raychull]

No offense taken. Looking back she really wasn't a very good friend. She never respected my personal limits.

I only talk to like 2 or 3 people from hs. I can't stand most of them.
same here. my two best friends, coincidentally, don't go to my school. but there's only two or three kids I really plan on talking to, from my school. I'm not like, antisocial or anything. I just dislike most of the kids in my grade/school.

[PlacesToGo]

so many friends come and go its hard to keep track of especially in the tail end of college. I'm someone who believes strongly in having strong friendships but I feel like the world isn't really built to support close close friendships for a long period of time. Its hard for most people to connect emotionally intimately with friends thats why so many people seek out sexual relationships so badly. at least thats what i think.

[owiseone35]

this happened to me 2 summers ago. i stopped talking to my best friend of 15 years, we basically have ignored each other since then, even though we live across the street from each other.

That is exactly what happened to me too ha ha. I was best friends with the Mormon girl that lived across the street from since i was 2 and now we don't talk. It blows but i still like attempt talking to her and we reminisce, that our whole relationship we walk and talk about how it used to be it sucks. Good luck though to the person who started this thread with their friend. It's rough the first year, then it gets easier.

[spansen]

it's a part of growing up, honestly.

we lose people continually, whether it be because they pass away or because our interests no longer mesh & our friendship just deteriorates.. it sucks, but it's normal. you'll be alright.

[googirl8907]

same here. my two best friends, coincidentally, don't go to my school. but there's only two or three kids I really plan on talking to, from my school. I'm not like, antisocial or anything. I just dislike most of the kids in my grade/school.
I blame my dislike of them on the immaturity of everyone.

[argg_xo]

That is exactly what happened to me too ha ha. I was best friends with the Mormon girl that lived across the street from since i was 2 and now we don't talk. It blows but i still like attempt talking to her and we reminisce, that our whole relationship we walk and talk about how it used to be it sucks. Good luck though to the person who started this thread with their friend. It's rough the first year, then it gets easier.
the situation kinda sucks but your avatar makes me want snack packs now. all is better.

[raychull]

I blame my dislike of them on the immaturity of everyone.
that's it. thank you, ahah. I mean. not everybody is, obviously. but I'm consistently around the more immature of the bunch.

[TotalCollapse]

I don't really have any dramatic stories about losing friends. The only story that sticks in my mind is when I was in sixth grade. I had been friends with this girl for four years and we were very close, but when we got to middle school, we started drifting apart. We sat at the same lunch table and one time the other girls at the table were talking about how the girl's parents had gotten divorced (the girl wasn't there) and I was completely clueless because she did not tell me. She had apparently told just about everyone else even though I was supposedly one of her closest friends. Being the quiet person I was, I just let it go and watched our friendship dwindle until when we got to choose new seats for lunch and I left the table and never talked to the girl again.

Most of friendships don't technically "end". I usually just drift apart from the people, but there are no hard feelings and if we got put in a situation together there would be nothing awkward between us. I guess that's because of the type of person I am and who I am friends with. I don't like drama in friendship, so I never fight with any of my friends and I don't do things that would betray my friends and I expect them to do the same. I don't hold grudges and if I get mad at a friend for some reason, I'm over it by the next day.

[framebyframe]

Everyone's stories are sad. I really hate that this is such a normal thing. I think the worst thing about it is not knowing whos fault it is.

My best friend and I drifted when I was with my ex. She took up most of my time and we literally fought about me hanging out with him on occasion. The biggest thing was me wanting to move in with him and she didn't like that. We broke up and it was just too late I guess, because at that point my friend was just too busy to hang out with me for the most part. It sucked so bad that I had no one to help me get over this girl, considering I had lost touch with most of my friends because of her.

I spent several years taking this kid to all the parties I went to and the like. He's a couple years younger than me, so it kind of feels like now that he's got his own things to go to, he doesn't invite me. I was fairly bitter about it all in general for a while, but whatever, it's life.

That's horrible. This seems to happen far too often :(

[Jessooker]

It happens to everyone, but I think it's a big part of growing up. I've lost some friends and I really think it was for the better. I've gained some new and great friends since.

[xfantabulousx]

When I graduated from my private middle/elementary school started going to a public high school, I lost most of friends. Most of them went to private high schools, and the ones who didn't went to other public high schools. A lot of them were people I had gone to school with every day since kindergarten, so it was fairly hard at first. But then I'd see some of them from time to time and I would talk to them and realize that we didn't really have anything in common anymore. If felt awful.

It gets better though. You find other people, and move on. In retrospect, the friends I lost weren't the type of people I wanted to be around in the first place. I have much better friends now.

[samsara]

Happened to me two and a half years ago. My friend stopped talking to me because I didnt like him the way he liked me. After that, all of my friends which where his friends too stopped talking to me because they were all guys and they took his side even though I didnt do anything which sucks. Last time I talked to one of them was during the summer right before my 18th b-day. All of their friends that were girls still talk to me but its just not the same.

[just.Starla.]

I'm actually going through this right now. Every since I graduated and Summer ended, it seems like I've drifted away from all my friends except my best friend. I don't think I've even talked to many of them except her since last fall. Its pretty sad actually.

[Fallinto_rhythm]

Losing friends really sucks, especially when they still try to be your friend but you just don't have any motivation to speak/hang out with them anymore. =(


exactly

[thesafeword]

Friends are for squares.

[Chris Fallon]

Times change, people do too. Oftentimes, as much as it sucks to lose someone due to distance, growing apart, arguments, etc. ... it can help you truly become a new individual. As long as you evaluate the difficulties/problems objectively -- that way you know where the bumps occurred, so you can avoid them next time (if applicable).

Lots of friends I grew up with have grown apart from me, for no particular reason -- and others just got lost due to a change of personalities. Fucking blows, but the grass is always greener.

/cliched advice

[kaycey]

i wish i was still in touch with all my old friends.

[stfu_man]

Times change, people do too. Oftentimes, as much as it sucks to lose someone due to distance, growing apart, arguments, etc. ... it can help you truly become a new individual. As long as you evaluate the difficulties/problems objectively -- that way you know where the bumps occurred, so you can avoid them next time (if applicable).

Lots of friends I grew up with have grown apart from me, for no particular reason -- and others just got lost due to a change of personalities. Fucking blows, but the grass is always greener.

/cliched advice

This may be cliched advice but it's good advice. You should be my therapist, ha!

Anyway, I went through this last year and now I realized it's just because I am growing up and moving on with things in my life.

[tomakebelieve]

I am actually very.. I don't know. I've lost a lot of friends since my Junior year of high school because mainly, I've adopted an attitude of "three strikes, you're out." I rarely forgive anyone anymore for a lot of things (I had some very bad friends earlier in my life).

I also am not comfortable with friends knowing every piece of me. So, I tend to cut people off after a certain point. I have commitment issues.

[Hamlet]

Yeah, it's life. People will come and go, common interests change, and you won't be friends forever.

If you do really want to stay friends with someone, you actually have to work at it. People take for granted how easily accessible their current friends are - like in high school, if you share the same classes with friends, you don't have to put in any effort to spend time with them, because you both know that you'll see each other.

Then when it all ends, they still put in the same amount of effort - very little.

[gingerjones]

My best guy friend and I were really good friends until he got a girlfriend. She's nice but got stupidly jealous and when I gave him one of my c.ds when we were drunk and she accused him of sleeping with me. Which of course never happened. A little while after that he stopped talking to me then when she dumped his ass he hit me up. She's still stringing him along so once again he's very much so kept his distance. It sucks coz he would ALWAYS put things in perspective for me and it was nice to have a good guy friend that was just a friend.

[Heart-A-Tact]

I had a friend who stopped talking to me because I didn't go to the same school as him. Needless to say, he is a tremendous fucking cocksmith.

[.invisible ink.]

I had a friend who stopped talking to me because I didn't go to the same school as him. Needless to say, he is a tremendous fucking cocksmith.

i tried to intern to become a cocksmith once, but i decided to go in a different direction career-wise.

[disco.tetris]

I've lost two of the closest friends I've ever had over the past 3 years. Both for different reasons (growing apart and a change in personality for the worse) and it felt like the worst situation to ever be in. But trust me, you get over it and make new friends. I'm so happy I'm friends with the people I am right now because they're just so amazing.

[DaveZeroZero]

Losing Friends is a song by Death From Above 1979 and that is all that matters.

That is all.

[MarsEatWorld]

Losing Friends is a song by Death From Above 1979 and that is all that matters.

That is all.
dave knows a lot about losing friends.

[caress me down]

i've lost two of my best friends to their boyfriends

[MarsEatWorld]

i've lost two of my best friends to their boyfriends
damn that really sucks

[worthwaiting]

I have been desk mates with my best friend since 1st grade, now it's our final year in high school and I feel we have are growing apart, she has told me that as well, but there is nothing to do about it. people change. We don't spend much time together after school 'cause we just don't have time.. boyfriends and homework. Maybe if we had more time, things would be better.

[caress me down]

damn that really sucks
especially when they blame me for not hanging out HA. fuckers

[MarsEatWorld]

especially when they blame me for not hanging out HA. fuckers
I hate that shit!!!

[caress me down]

I hate that shit!!!
hahahahaha i'm sitting next to one of the girls in english right now. I wanna deck her

[MarsEatWorld]

hahahahaha i'm sitting next to one of the girls in english right now. I wanna deck her
hahaha. that sucks. I'm in economics right now my "best friend" decided at the beginning of the year that she wanted to sit next to the guy she likes...who now has a gf that isn't her and doesn't even talk to her...

good move right? haha

[framebyframe]

I've lost two of the closest friends I've ever had over the past 3 years. Both for different reasons (growing apart and a change in personality for the worse) and it felt like the worst situation to ever be in. But trust me, you get over it and make new friends. I'm so happy I'm friends with the people I am right now because they're just so amazing.

Aw that's sad. I don't know if I could handle losing two close friends in that span of time.

dave knows a lot about losing friends.

Hahaha clearly. It really shed a new light on this issue.

[silvercyanide]

Loosing friends is hard, I had an entire group turn their backs on me because of something I didn't even do. (Hurt my boyfriend (now ex) and their friend.) He broke up with me because of them.

Later he realized what idiots they were, and wanted me back. After over a year, I moved on.

Harsh reality is, it happens. Try and keep going, time really does make it better.

[framebyframe]

That sucks. Sounds like a bunch of assholes.

[caress me down]

hahaha. that sucks. I'm in economics right now my "best friend" decided at the beginning of the year that she wanted to sit next to the guy she likes...who now has a gf that isn't her and doesn't even talk to her...

good move right? haha
now that is karma.

[MarsEatWorld]

now that is karma.
yup. haha. love it to some extent

[caress me down]

yup. haha. love it to some extent
definitely. btw i would like to commend how quickly you responded to that

[MarsEatWorld]

definitely. btw i would like to commend how quickly you responded to that
haha woo wooo

[lightcollapse]

Like half my best friends ditched me and my other friends once they got girlfriends. Like, completely with their gfs 24/7 for the past year and a half. What fucking bitches. It sucks but you move on I guess.

[caress me down]

Like half my best friends ditched me and my other friends once they got girlfriends. Like, completely with their gfs 24/7 for the past year and a half. What fucking bitches. It sucks but you move on I guess.
welcome to the clubbb :highfive:

[Kgod]

Like half my best friends ditched me and my other friends once they got girlfriends. Like, completely with their gfs 24/7 for the past year and a half. What fucking bitches. It sucks but you move on I guess.

Lmao. This one I can relate to. My 20 yr old friend since grade school starting dating this girl 4 years younger then him, hanging out with her friends, won't do anything without her. and rarely talks to me. For some people, being in a relationship means more then anything else,even a friend.

[&IllBeTheReason]

I had been friends with this girl for over 5 years and we always had a few issues cause we are both really competitive and have strong personalitites. Well I've always been more outgoing so I went and made more friends and realized that they were much better people and treated me like a human being. My luck being how it is, it is my last semester of high school and I have every class with this girl who treats me like shit now cause she resents the fact that I hang out with other people and tries her best to alienate me from everyone else. It's great fun.

[Duexy]

maybe i'm just reading it wrong, but it really sounds like you basically forgot your roots and ditched a friend. i mean honestly, if i had a friend who stopped hanging out with me after five or more years because they found another crowd they liked more then yeah, i'd be pretty vindicative too.

[framebyframe]

Well she said that the girl didn't treat her like a human being, so it couldn't be a very good friend. Seems like the other friend is just very jealous of you.

[Duexy]

wel then i wouldn't use the word "friends" if that was the case

[framebyframe]

This is true.

[tribalpunk]

I lose friends a lot it seems. I had some and I lost all put one once I started high school and that person moved to Oregon so we talk through like phone and stuff. The I grew apart from the bff I used to have so since kindergarten gradually that I hardly noticed. I had a new best friend that I've been friends with for a while but just lately, she's just been causing a lot of drama and I've been there to help usually. She's suddenly became some attention whore out of nowhere and kept claiming that I keep ditching her for my boyfriend even though I spend like five times more time with her than I do with him and other retarded stuff. She's been down and whenever I try to help or cheer her up, she either changes the subject or make some rude remark. I guess I haven't talked to her in about two weeks or anything because I figure she doesn't appreciate my concern and she obviously doesn't care because she's not going out of her way to even try to make things better. So now I don't really have a best friend anymore and I feel that I'm a bit distanced form my other so called "friends." This always seems to happen whenever I move on from another school, like how it did when I enter high school and now loosing my friends being that it's my senior year. I wonder if this trend is going to continue in my life...

[DaveZeroZero]

YOU DO NOT LOOSE FRIENDS, YOU LOSE THEM.

EVERYONE PLEASE GET THIS RIGHT

x

[LV03]

make new ones?

honestly, I'm still really close with all of my childhood friends (none of us went to the same hs)...and made a ton of new ones at college. Even if my friendship fades a little with someone, i'm still pretty civil with them... i dont think I ever really lost any friends.

[ReadyForAction]

YOU DO NOT LOOSE FRIENDS, YOU LOSE THEM.

EVERYONE PLEASE GET THIS RIGHT

x
All that needs to be said

[lovely864md]

I stopped being friends with my best friend of 3 years when she pantsed me completely buck naked in front of an entire ski lodge, most of my school, and a lot of teachers... but that was 7th grade.

[Hyp]

How did you deal with losing a best friend/friend because of a fight or just growing apart? Right now it feels like the worst thing ever. Especially when it's with someone who has been around for a good portion of your life.
Discuss/share stories.

I'm not one to fight.

But, after moving away from a couple of good friends, we eventually just grew apart. How did I deal with it? Well, at first, I would call them, talk on AIM, etc...I repeat, I would call them, never them, me. This went on for quite some time until I figured out that they probably didn't want to talk to me and it was probably just a waste of time. This was quickly followed by hatred directed towards them for not understanding the importance of keeping in touch. In the end, I rationalized: If they don't want to keep in touch, fuck it, neither do I. They were obviously never friends in the first place.

[tribalpunk]

YOU DO NOT LOOSE FRIENDS, YOU LOSE THEM.

EVERYONE PLEASE GET THIS RIGHT

x

god forbid I made a typo. :-/

[framebyframe]

make new ones?

honestly, I'm still really close with all of my childhood friends (none of us went to the same hs)...and made a ton of new ones at college. Even if my friendship fades a little with someone, i'm still pretty civil with them... i dont think I ever really lost any friends.

This used to be me before this happened. In my situation, I'm not really concerned about friendship fading, because of course it happens, but I am more talking about losing a friend because of a fight.

I stopped being friends with my best friend of 3 years when she pantsed me completely buck naked in front of an entire ski lodge, most of my school, and a lot of teachers... but that was 7th grade.

Holy shit, I would be so angry. Did she have any explanation for that or even try to make amends?

I lose friends a lot it seems. I had some and I lost all put one once I started high school and that person moved to Oregon so we talk through like phone and stuff. The I grew apart from the bff I used to have so since kindergarten gradually that I hardly noticed. I had a new best friend that I've been friends with for a while but just lately, she's just been causing a lot of drama and I've been there to help usually. She's suddenly became some attention whore out of nowhere and kept claiming that I keep ditching her for my boyfriend even though I spend like five times more time with her than I do with him and other retarded stuff. She's been down and whenever I try to help or cheer her up, she either changes the subject or make some rude remark. I guess I haven't talked to her in about two weeks or anything because I figure she doesn't appreciate my concern and she obviously doesn't care because she's not going out of her way to even try to make things better. So now I don't really have a best friend anymore and I feel that I'm a bit distanced form my other so called "friends." This always seems to happen whenever I move on from another school, like how it did when I enter high school and now loosing my friends being that it's my senior year. I wonder if this trend is going to continue in my life...

Seems like a lot of people seem to lose friends when a boyfriend/girlfriend is involved :/

[lovely864md]

Holy shit, I would be so angry. Did she have any explanation for that or even try to make amends?

She ran away laughing, I screamed, causing anyone who hadn't seen already to see, pulled up my pants and ran like hell. We eventually semi made up a few years later, but we were going to different schools at the time so it was just sort of a clean split.

[DaveZeroZero]

god forbid I made a typo. :-/
You're not the only one to do it.

[disco.tetris]

Aw that's sad. I don't know if I could handle losing two close friends in that span of time.



Hahaha clearly. It really shed a new light on this issue.
I got real close to the second one after the first one turned into a super bitch. That's probably what sucked the most.. that we grew apart after going through a harsher version of the same situation together. But it's cool now. We still talk occasionally and stuff. We don't hate each other.

[Hyp]

Actually, I do loose friends. ha

[fadedmemories]

YOU DO NOT LOOSE FRIENDS, YOU LOSE THEM.

EVERYONE PLEASE GET THIS RIGHT

x
hahaha

[DaveZeroZero]

Actually, I do loose friends. ha
No. Shut up.

[Hyp]

No. Shut up.

I'm good, thanks though.

[trappedintime]

This happened to me like 2 years ago. I didn't think nothing of it at first cuz I was so mad. But after awhile I felt like crap. We found an excuse to talk to each other again though and we just said sorry a whole bunch of times. I think you need to swallow your pride and go up to her/him and just say you're sorry.

[framebyframe]

This happened to me like 2 years ago. I didn't think nothing of it at first cuz I was so mad. But after awhile I felt like crap. We found an excuse to talk to each other again though and we just said sorry a whole bunch of times. I think you need to swallow your pride and go up to her/him and just say you're sorry.

Me saying sorry would not fix it, because it involves someone else as well who was the reason for the fight.