Real or really pathetic?

[Pip_thepunkrock]

I've been with my guy for five years, but things really suck now. He's totally jealous and controlling to the extreme. Normally I would have bailed a long time ago, but we have a three year old son. I have made some new friends at work that make me feel totally real and happy and I want to feel like that all the time. Am I totally evil and selfish to want to leave to be happy, yet split my family apart in the process? Please help. I haven't slept much or ate much in the last two months stressing about this.

[FinchBulldog2]

Tell him how you feel and leave him if he continues to be a douche bag.

[Pip_thepunkrock]

thanks

[Alex Djaferis]

Tell him how you feel and leave him if he continues to be a douche bag.
agreed

[IAmCountryMusic]

Tell him how you feel and leave him if he continues to be a douche bag.
that is a good idea, but it depends on if he might get violent. if he has been violent in the past, maybe you should take a day off of work and while he isnt there leave him and take along your son.

[Pip_thepunkrock]

I tried to leave once two years ago. I was stupid to stay. He turned it around to look like I was the evil one (he only acts this way in private). My whole family turned on his side. After we stayed together things got really good and I was so totally happy. Until about four months ago.

My other question: So, it's not normal to be so jealous and all that if I mention talking to a guy at work for him to get really mad at me and start asking if I am leaving him? With this behavior, I want to scream. I really don't want to hurt my son over me being selfish. Is it wrong to want to be happy?

[Vanity__Dearest]

this is such a trailer trashy relationship...your basically saying that you now know, that you were wrong for staying...but that proves nothing as to why you won't leave now...grow some pride, and leave. no girl deserves to be treated like that, i don't give a fuck that you have a kid.

you got yourself in this situation, now get yourself out of it.

the only people that could possibly help is looking at your kid...your not only hurting yourself, your child is being hurt.

[SonEric84]

Sounds like you should leave. You only live once so you might as well try and be as happy as you can.

[theESCO]

if he suddenly became super jealous and controlling...he's cheating.

[Jra1]

if he suddenly became super jealous and controlling...he's cheating.
bingo.
if it was a sudden change, he's cheating... and when he realised you were thinking of leaving he probably stopped - hence the nice time for a while... - and started again 4months ago.

you wanna leave, leave... just pay alot of attention to your son once you break up, so he doesn't feel unloved, or to blame later on

[IAmCountryMusic]

my girlfriend would get really jealous of girls around me. i couldnt talk to her on tuesday nights because thats when i watch rescue me, so i told her this once and she asked 'what's her name' and i was like 'dennis leary'.

she also would read all of my mail and get into my myspace and look at all of my comments and look on peoples pages to see what i said back to them.
i dont think she was cheating though, but when i would get jealous she acted like i was being a dick.

[Jra1]

you are a dick though...

[UndertheTELE]

maybe he's getting controlling because he knows that you've been thinking about bailing for a long time...

[Katie Schmitz]

you've got to get out; NOW. That's all there is too it, if he's not willing to work then get out, you may have a child together, but it'd also be better for your son/daughter to not be around him either. He/she could end up being just dad :shake:

[Vanity__Dearest]

...coming from a girl with a boyfriend she's engaged to that is STATES away.

[Darren McLeod]

I definitely don't think it's too great for you. Life is meant to be spent as happily as possible, and kids should grow up in loving homes. Not just love from their parents, but love between their parents.

If you have great friends at work, then you should talk to them, and get some support. If there are some males in that group, that's even better to make sure the kid gets a positive male figure in his life as well.