The city yawns (in that odd shade of white)

[Vanity__Dearest]

wrote this today. one of those songs you write late at night, and you still are trying to figure out what you meant. either way, it was inspired by my novel work.

check it out.

The City Yawns (in that odd shade of white)

trust me, the people are worn out.
from wearing lips for encores.
if we scream "you're one dying breed"
we correlate our body juxtaposition.

so bodily sick and worn that you can't be trusted.

and the girl with her hands in her pockets. metaphors of fingers clenching. for that green on the other side.

we won't pretend we don't size up our prey like gunslingers.
Pirouetting eyes and dart-like lips.
rather hold a crown than a holster

but declaring negligence isn't worth it. it's only for amends and commands.
They fuck for the trend of it.
Fortunes fourteen leagues under the sea.
lost. translation.

we're outlaws clenching our hearts in the ramparts. under frozen frost blankets. carrying our feet in the trenches.

every sigh, becomes a broken light bulb, in this house of compassion.

She Broke. (she's in shards, your in stitches)

Grow stronger, it's a mtter of time. the sky lifts the pigments from your palms.
your cold hearted. your pulse calms. and you kiss like a suicide bomber.

our heart beats like the airwaves.

"i'm going down , and taking you with me."

[Alex Djaferis]

i liked it. the first bit was my favorite


"trust me, the people are worn out.
from wearing lips for encores.
if we scream "you're one dying breed"
we correlate our body juxtaposition"

[Vanity__Dearest]

thanks....that was my least favorite part, i thought it grew towards the end. i'm still working on making it shorter lines. we'll see what i can do.

[de la sympathie]

i really liked that. you always write beautifully.

[the_narrator]

your pulse calms. and you kiss like a suicide bomber.

our heart beats like the airwaves.

"i'm going down , and taking you with me." This is interesting. I agree with liking the beginning a lot, the encores bit is my favorite. I like this last part also. I would like to hear how this sounds in your head. Not really a criticism, but an observation: you write a lot of one-line-lyrics. Something you could take away from the song as a reference (like Every Time I Die lyrics). I don't hate this, I am just wondering if that was the way you were going with it.

[IAmCountryMusic]

some of the words seem a little too long and hard to sing, but i do like the 'theme' of it.

[Vanity__Dearest]

This is interesting. I agree with liking the beginning a lot, the encores bit is my favorite. I like this last part also. I would like to hear how this sounds in your head. Not really a criticism, but an observation: you write a lot of one-line-lyrics. Something you could take away from the song as a reference (like Every Time I Die lyrics). I don't hate this, I am just wondering if that was the way you were going with it.i think the point is that coming off the story i wrote centering around it, i wanted it to be looked at as very tongue in cheek, very sporadic and sparse in parts, verbose in others...functioning like the human mind.

i really liked that. you always write beautifully.gratzi.

some of the words seem a little too long and hard to sing, but i do like the 'theme' of it.gotta make the words work, if that's what you feel like writing, is all.

[Blared]

It's so different then the normal. I liked it alot, espeically:

we won't pretend we don't size up our prey like gunslingers.
Pirouetting eyes and dart-like lips.
rather hold a crown than a holster

Keep it up man, I'll keep checking out your work.

[Vanity__Dearest]

thanks man..god your sig bothers me tho.hahaa

you've got urself some good work for a youngun

[a speedo model]

very good. i liked it alot.

[IAmCountryMusic]

gotta make the words work, if that's what you feel like writing, is all.
good job at making no sense what so ever