Falling Away

[sexxy]

.
I am bored with love
and it's passionless limbs
that drape over my bed
in a lethargic state of impotence
while wearing the same red heart
my soul picked up hitchhiking
off highway serendipity

Now here we are
alone in togetherness
trying to build dreams
with two by fours and glue,
but even a home
won't tie us together
when our hearts live alone

Poetic vows cliched
into nothingness
like all words do, eventually
and we allowed
our bodies to become
another pair of hollow shadows
that make love to a wall
instead of each other
and we wonder why
the roses are dying

[Chigwinkle]

I quite liked this, especially the first stanza. Your use of language at the beginning is interesting and creates some really nice imagery but it begins to gradually fade away as the poem goes on. I feel as if you havent put half as much effort into the 2nd and 3rd verses as you have in the first one.

'and it's passionless limbs
that drape over my bed
in a lethargic state of impotence ''
This part was awesome, brilliant image.

'and we allowed
our bodies to become
another pair of hollow shadows
that make love to a wall
instead of each other
and we wonder why
the roses are dying'
I wasnt too sure about this part, the piece seems to completely lose its flow, you need to break up the phrases a bit more to make it make sense.