Shiver

[DJ_Tanner]

winding thoughts spiral down my spine
as I shiver and shake and breathe deeply.
I find that I am somewhere else than those around me,
refusing to exist where I stand and where I walk
letting the texture of the lining in my coat pocket decide how I feel,
I search frantically for ideas with my fingers and keep them in my coat -
I shiver
I shake
I breathe deeply.

[staid]

you've got a grammatical error on line 4.
apart from that i see a faint glimmer of hope for better to come.
anyways, its better than the best spearkid's ever done.