Deadly Game

[Mike Smith]

Haha i wrote this in like a few minutes a lil while ago minute so if you dont like it, well just know im not even sure on it.

Thoughts on it would be nice though


Deadly Game:

Verse 1:

I hate you and you hate me
So let have some fun with each other
Ill put a gun to your head
You put a knife to my throat
To see which of us will die faster

Chorus:

Its a deadly game and were all playing
Might not know who comes next
It's a deadly game and I am saying
This worlds gone mad with power

Verse 2:

When will this end, this game with no solution
How many people in this world must die
All we do is bring pain to ourselves
And the world fills with tears from people dying

Chorus:

Its a deadly game and were all playing
Might not know who comes next
Its a deadly game and i am saying
This worlds gone mad with power

(Drum/Guitar solo/bridge here)

Chorus:

Its a deadly game and were all playing
Might not know who comes next
Its a deadly game and i am saying
This worlds gone mad with power

(Outro here)

[thespearkid]

br00tal.

[Mike Smith]

br00tal.

Im taking it you're being sarcastic? Obviously i cant really tell on here as it's just text lol

It's fine if you hate it

[MattRM]

Hate to be rude, but really man... you're not going to impress anyone here with these kinds of songs, and posting them is just asking for trouble.

Writing isn't for everyone.

[Hyp]

Or, like I said, take some kind of creative writing workshop, google "writing lyrics tips", listen to your favorite band and read the lyrics online as you listen to the song.

Also, keep your audience in mind. If you're going for a pop or modern radio-punk rock sound, then you're not too far off, but don't tell me you want to take it to prog because that's not gonna happen for a long time. :/

[Mike Smith]

Hate to be rude, but really man... you're not going to impress anyone here with these kinds of songs, and posting them is just asking for trouble.

Writing isn't for everyone.

Like i said man i only ask opinions on the songs i didnt really like that much to see if other people like them or agree with me that they're not so good.

Or, like I said, take some kind of creative writing workshop, google "writing lyrics tips", listen to your favorite band and read the lyrics online as you listen to the song.

Also, keep your audience in mind. If you're going for a pop or modern radio-punk rock sound, then you're not too far off, but don't tell me you want to take it to prog because that's not gonna happen for a long time. :/


Yeah im going for more of a like nu-metal and punk kind of song. I am good at writing songs that would sound good recorded by major artists like linkin park or disturbed. These songs would play good on the radio

And what do you mean when you say prog? Like progressive music? Im not too savvy with certain abbreviations still lol

[Hyp]

Yeah progressive. Their lyrics tend to be a little more advanced than punk, metal, etc.

[Mike Smith]

Yeah progressive. Their lyrics tend to be a little more advanced than punk, metal, etc.

Yeah dude ive heard so many progressive bands out there. Especially like progressive/hardcore metal out there from like germany. Their lyrics are amazing and their screaming is amazing too. I love it

Im more of just a general genre person who creates songs in any genre like punk, pop, acoustic, indie, metal, rock and any other genre you can think of. But im not obviously a prog writer lol

[Hyp]

Nobody's a prog writer until they become one.

But still, take my advice. It works

[Mike Smith]

Nobody's a prog writer until they become one.

But still, take my advice. It works

lol very true

Oh and i take anything from here and put it into action usually as long as it has applied to me so far lol

[Kirsty.com]

Its Not That Goood Really.

[apresnuledeluge]

Keep writing, man. Everyone has to go through the growing stage where poems/lyrics/stories come off a bit immature and underdeveloped, but its important to keep writing and improving yourself so you can evolve past it.

Its a bit cliche in its concept and overall it doesn't really say too much, but its obvious that you have at least some potential. Just remember, write about what really means something to you. It's easy to duplicate the styles and subjects of your favorite bands, but people can tell instantly when there's no heart in it.

Keep at it.

[SeeYouSeptember]

:yuk: