ATTN: N00bs - Dr. Chris' Advice Thread

[Chris Fallon]

As a favor to the community (and due to popular demand), I have decided to forward all questions regarding anything and everything here.

This thread is a designated place for anyone with a problem concerning sex, relationships, life, friends, school, the whole kitten caboodle -- I have learned/seen/heard/experienced a lot in my 25 years, and I am offering my advice to anyone willing to hear it so they don't have to make their own thread for all to see.

I will not hold judgment, be sarcastic or use any cliche remarks (i.e. "anal"). This is a service I am simply offering in case someone would like a subjective opinion from an unrelated/unbiased source. I can assure you I will not be unkind in any way -- consider me Absolutepunk.net's own Dr. Drew and Adam.

If any other members have advice to dispense, please feel free to do so. I will answer as frequently as I am able to, so please, go on and post any and all your best! I am here to help!

***Please try to include as much detail necessary for your question/problem so those of us giving advice don't have to ask as many questions and base our wisdom off assumptions.

[AP_Punk]

sticky thread

[thatwasamoment]

How is babby formed?

[Selkies]

So some girl IM'ed me (got my AIM name from this site apparently) and she was all "We live near each other, small world, blah blah" and I responded with the obligatory "Yeah, Crazy". She tells me her last name (oddly familiar) and come to find out she is my bosses daughter. Yeah, it was awkward...

[swt_catastrophe]

kitten caboodle?

i always thought it was "kit 'n' caboodle"
hmm... something to ponder.

[.invisible ink.]

really? this is sticky worthy?

[SgtSmegma]

How is babby formed?

I lol'd

http://www.somethingawful.com/flash/shmorky/babby.swf

If you haven''t seen it, this video is fucking hilarious

[Chris Fallon]

really? this is sticky worthy?
If it ventures down from the top, then we'll get new kids making threads that should be going in here - that is the point of this deal. The more pointless threads made, the more work there is for me.

Why does it matter to you? Do you work here? Do you live here? Try to make things organized, and you always bitch in one way or another. It makes things easier, might as well sticky it.

[Chris Fallon]

So some girl IM'ed me (got my AIM name from this site apparently) and she was all "We live near each other, small world, blah blah" and I responded with the obligatory "Yeah, Crazy". She tells me her last name (oddly familiar) and come to find out she is my bosses daughter. Yeah, it was awkward...
Is your boss cool? Where do you work?

kitten caboodle?

i always thought it was "kit 'n' caboodle"
hmm... something to ponder.
You're right. Now I just don't feel like changing it haha

[.invisible ink.]

If it ventures down from the top, then we'll get new kids making threads that should be going in here - that is the point of this deal. The more pointless threads made, the more work there is for me.

Why does it matter to you? Do you work here? Do you live here? Try to make things organized, and you always bitch in one way or another. It makes things easier, might as well sticky it.

It matters to me because I frequent this site and I have an opinion, hence this being a messageboard not just a blog where only certain opinions are posted. Everyone should be free to post their opinions, whether or not we all agree on them. My reason for questioning the sticky-worthiness of this thread is because this is one specific member's advice thread, according to the title. It seems like the very thing you'd lock if you hadn't created it. I don't like to see double standards and when I see things being done solely because you're a mod I bitch because I don't believe it's right and somehow I think maybe if I speak up that you might see things differently than you had initially. Honestly, I don't see Tristan and Eda making these sort of threads in the General Forum. I also don't see the "cleaning" going on anywhere else on this site. If a thread is spam or completely inane, I have no issue with locking it, but it seems like there's very little rhyme or reason behind what gets locked, what gets deleted, or what gets stickied, etc. in PL.

I think you have good intentions, don't get me wrong. I just don't always agree with the way you go about doing them, and I think that power is easily abused even in the best of circumstances. If nobody bitches, nobody becomes aware that there might be some dissent/disagreement and then people end up pissed and leaving without participating in what could have been positive change.

[TK]

You're thinking well, but I think this thread is a bad idea. We have a personal life forum, not a personal life thread.

But nonetheless, how about some advice Mr. PhD Chris? Explain to me the steps to determining whether a girl is just rather flirty, or likes you?

[TheSkyline]

It matters to me because I frequent this site and I have an opinion, hence this being a messageboard not just a blog where only certain opinions are posted. Everyone should be free to post their opinions, whether or not we all agree on them. My reason for questioning the sticky-worthiness of this thread is because this is one specific member's advice thread, according to the title. It seems like the very thing you'd lock if you hadn't created it. I don't like to see double standards and when I see things being done solely because you're a mod I bitch because I don't believe it's right and somehow I think maybe if I speak up that you might see things differently than you had initially. Honestly, I don't see Tristan and Eda making these sort of threads in the General Forum. I also don't see the "cleaning" going on anywhere else on this site. If a thread is spam or completely inane, I have no issue with locking it, but it seems like there's very little rhyme or reason behind what gets locked, what gets deleted, or what gets stickied, etc. in PL.

I think you have good intentions, don't get me wrong. I just don't always agree with the way you go about doing them, and I think that power is easily abused even in the best of circumstances. If nobody bitches, nobody becomes aware that there might be some dissent/disagreement and then people end up pissed and leaving without participating in what could have been positive change.

Chill... it's not like this forum is serious anyways. haha

[Mxbaby511]

Okay, so everyone asks for an advice thread by Chris...
And then everyone bashes the idea :P
Stupid.

[4N6 science]

Why do girls think they can manipulate guys to do whatever they want?

[Mxbaby511]

Why do girls think they can manipulate guys to do whatever they want?


Because most of the time, we can :]

[4N6 science]

Because most of the time, we can :]

I don't know about that. Men are smarter than most girls perceive.

[Mxbaby511]

I don't know about that. Men are smarter than most girls perceive.


Yeahh, but we have vaginas.

[raychull]

:appl:

[raychull]

Yeahh, but we have vaginas.
so?

[kaycey]

i miss the old pl.

[spritelybrin]

I don't know about that. Men are smarter than most girls perceive.
hey this whole manipulation thing is a two way street....cant say no guy has manipulated a girl to get exactlyyy what he wants.....

[SomedayTheFire]

Yeahh, but we have vaginas.
But we have cocks.

[jawstheme]

Grad school or go look for a job in May? (Human Resources degree)

[4N6 science]

Yeahh, but we have vaginas.

So we have penises and what do women buy when men aren't around?

hey this whole manipulation thing is a two way street....cant say no guy has manipulated a girl to get exactlyyy what he wants.....

I guess, but girls think that they can make us do whatever they please. Men don't think that as much.

[fulltiltxb00gie]

bravo, chris. :appl:

[silentstar1134]

how about not changing this into a chat thread, shall we?
Now, I have a legit question to test out the waters...I have been in a relationship with my gf for about 2 years now. I really do love her, but sometimes I can't help but feel confined to bounderies. Sometimes I still like to "flirt" with girls to make sure I still have my game. But occasionally, I do want more but I'm afraid because Im still in love with my gf. Kinda also goes along the lines of "im getting sick of just one flava, I need to switch it up a little." So love doctor, what u got 4 me?

[spritelybrin]

So we have penises and what do women buy when men aren't around?



I guess, but girls think that they can make us do whatever they please. Men don't think that as much.
mmm ive never really thought that...i figure...people are gonna do what they are gonna do...no matter what you do yourself...but idk i guess its because ive always been the one to get the short end of the stick ya kno??

i do agree with the idea that i think guys have to work harder then girls...but its not ALWAYS true....but it is what it is....

[owiseone35]

Because most of the time, we can :]

Exactly what I was thinking and they can take away sex which is hell.

[spritelybrin]

Exactly what I was thinking and they can take away sex which is hell.
if a girl says they dont need sex as much as a guy does...thats a load of crap....cuz its not true....if i had a bf and decided to take sex away from him...im pretty sure that even i as a girl wouldnt be able to go very long....girls just say that cuz its something to hold over you...
and im pretty sure im gonna get some trouble for spilling that lol....=/

[Smash Adams]

Chris I have a question are you related to a man named Brian who sings for this band the gaslight anthem, might have heard of em

[googirl8907]

Ahahaha. Chris, you are my hero.

[fulltiltxb00gie]

Chris I have a question are you related to a man named Brian who sings for this band the gaslight anthem, might have heard of em
if so, ian would like to be set up on a date.

[thespearkid]

Hm. Advice thread? Eh, why not. I could use some advice.

So I've got these two amazing friends, Emily and Kathleen. Emily and I started dating about two weeks ago and broke up about a week ago (not for any bad reason, we just both realized we were better as friends.) So, I've been getting really close to Kathleen lately. We go for walks, eat meals together, watch movies, do homework, and I've fallen asleep on her bed 4 out of the past 5 nights. Now, word comes my way that Emily would be interested in having a strictly physical relationship with me. Question is, what do I do? Now, there are a few factors to consider here.

1. Kathleen definitely does like me. However, she's worried that we might not work out (she's a devout Christian and I'm an atheist.)

2. Emily and Kathleen are great friends as well. Emily doesn't know that Kathleen and I like each other yet but I think she might be catching on.

Now, what's the best thing to do to assure that neither girl gets hurt?

[Chris Fallon]

I am sorry this is going to so epic. Hang on.

It matters to me because I frequent this site and I have an opinion, hence this being a messageboard not just a blog where only certain opinions are posted.
I never said you can't have an opinion; you just always find something that bugs you in particular, and no one else.

Everyone should be free to post their opinions, whether or not we all agree on them. My reason for questioning the sticky-worthiness of this thread is because this is one specific member's advice thread, according to the title.
It's partly a joke, all in good humor. I have been approached by many regulars and been asked to do this, so did -- notice where I said it's a place specifically meant for advice from everyone who wants to hand it out? No? With the recent influx of new members, it will help calm the flooding.

It seems like the very thing you'd lock if you hadn't created it. I don't like to see double standards and when I see things being done solely because you're a mod I bitch because I don't believe it's right and somehow I think maybe if I speak up that you might see things differently than you had initially.
There are no "double standards" -- you can have your opinion, that's fine. Doesn't mean I'm going to change when one or two people whine. Same thing happened with General kids over infraction points. Plenty of people get the intentions, the ones who don't just complain. I could explain until my fingers bleed, but will it ever convince you? Doubtful.

Honestly, I don't see Tristan and Eda making these sort of threads in the General Forum. I also don't see the "cleaning" going on anywhere else on this site. If a thread is spam or completely inane, I have no issue with locking it, but it seems like there's very little rhyme or reason behind what gets locked, what gets deleted, or what gets stickied, etc. in PL.
Personal Life has been and still is a joke to many people. I have come in and simply tried to eradicate that idea, and because the traffic is lessened here, it's easier to moderate. Ever try moderating every inane thread in General? It's difficult to lock everything, but because new threads pop up so quickly, the ones that are pointless vanish quicker. Here, they stick around and in an effort to limit bumping, chats, spam, etc. we lock them. The atmosphere here is laid back, believe me -- the only threads I lock are designated for specific members, fake accounts or new members with problems that can go in other threads. HENCE, why this is now stickied with an "ATTN: N00bs" sign -- the rest is a joke, lighten up.[/quote]

You're thinking well, but I think this thread is a bad idea. We have a personal life forum, not a personal life thread.

But nonetheless, how about some advice Mr. PhD Chris? Explain to me the steps to determining whether a girl is just rather flirty, or likes you?
Disagree -- this is for advice only. There are plenty of other topics to discuss elsewhere, a great chat thread, etc. Don't see any issue here. This is mainly for new members who don't make frequent threads and need a place for advice, where we can all meet up.

Onto your question, from my experiences the key points are simple: flirty girls are nice to a point -- they behave like girls who are interested in being more than a friend until the actual moment occurs. The turning point comes when you ask them out -- a girl who is into you knows the difference between a friend wanting to hang out and going out on a date. It's inhibition girls just know. The differences are subtle, but come from your own tone and behavior. Anyway, if you bring up wanting to go to an event, movie, restaurant -- anything like that -- if she agrees and makes it clear she'd also like to do that, you're in. When a girl doesn't really latch onto that, sort of changes topic, doesn't respond with anything other than a shrug... that's just a friend being nice.

Chill... it's not like this forum is serious anyways. haha
Thank you.

Okay, so everyone asks for an advice thread by Chris...
And then everyone bashes the idea :P
Stupid.
Thank you, glad you see it my way haha

Why do girls think they can manipulate guys to do whatever they want?
Like other said, because they can. That's just how life is it seems. I have been with the same girl for many years now, and despite some of the matters I control, she ultiamtely has the reins on our relaitonship. Girls' brains don't work the same as men's do, and we are taught to lust after them. That gives them the upper hand, and sadly, they do a better job at ignoring us than we do to them.

i miss the old pl.
The old PL? You mean, spam aplenty, fakes, thread after thread of the same shit? I don't get it, unless it interferes with your way of life, it has not changed in a negative way at all. I have been here for a year and only see it improving. Other agree.

Grad school or go look for a job in May? (Human Resources degree)
Tough one. It might be one of the few jobs you can really snag right now, but considering how fickle the economy has been and seeing that we are not out of the clear, it depends on your personal situation. I say send out applications now -- get some ideas and see how secure a job might be. However, if you aren't finding anything, maybe Grad School will be the best choice, as it will open up a world of opportunities, more than you have at the moment. I'd like to hear back from you on this, for sure.

how about not changing this into a chat thread, shall we?
Now, I have a legit question to test out the waters...I have been in a relationship with my gf for about 2 years now. I really do love her, but sometimes I can't help but feel confined to bounderies. Sometimes I still like to "flirt" with girls to make sure I still have my game. But occasionally, I do want more but I'm afraid because Im still in love with my gf. Kinda also goes along the lines of "im getting sick of just one flava, I need to switch it up a little." So love doctor, what u got 4 me?
I'll be honest -- your love for your girlfriend might not be the love you think it is. You say you want to "test your game," make sure you still have it. Every guy who has been in a longterm relationship will eventually take a look at other women, even if they have no intention of cheating. It's just nature. Now, in your situation, it appears as if the confidence in your relationship is no longer there and you want to reassure yourself that you still have "it" (whatever that may be). Speaking from experience, I can understand you feeling like you're trapped -- pretty common issue for many guys. However, I think you ought to reassess your current relationship -- really investigate how emotionally involved you are, and if the stability is shaken, it might not be the kind of relationship to continue. I believe you when you say you love her -- but if you feel the need to flirt with other women in an effort to give yourself reassurance, this might not be something that will last too much longer.

Chris I have a question are you related to a man named Brian who sings for this band the gaslight anthem, might have heard of em
I wish, man. If I were related to him, that would be so kickass.

[4N6 science]

Like other said, because they can. That's just how life is it seems. I have been with the same girl for many years now, and despite some of the matters I control, she ultiamtely has the reins on our relaitonship. Girls' brains don't work the same as men's do, and we are taught to lust after them. That gives them the upper hand, and sadly, they do a better job at ignoring us than we do to them.

well said. I'm in the second month of my new found relationship, so I wanted to see what you had to say.

[Chris Fallon]

well said. I'm in the second month of my new found relationship, so I wanted to see what you had to say.
That's awesome, man -- I definitely have to say that is the most crucial point in time when the woman controls everything haha. She knows she can, so she does. It's our job to balance that with maintaining an interest, proving ourselves as good male counterparts -- sort of all goes back to the whole anthropological beginnings, traditional stuff some people would love to change but is just etched into our sociology. After seeing how many failures you can have, the successful ones make even more sense when it comes to this theory.

[Chris Fallon]

I will un-sticky this, since that seems to be the main gripe in here. Again, there are plenty of other threads available for specific needs -- however, if you have a quick question or something doesn't apply to any threads you find, let us help you in here where myself and others can deal with a wide range of topics. This is what Personal Life is meant for: to help out everyone.

This is not a clique, this is a community. We are here to help and socialize with every member on the site. Any further questions/comments? E-mail me: chris.fallon@absolutepunk.net

[Greg]

haha great idea Chris! if you need help answering questions with sincerity let me know and i will answer some.

forget the haters, someone always complains, not much you can do about it.

[anamericangod]

kitten caboodle?

i always thought it was "kit 'n' caboodle"
hmm... something to ponder.

Hahahahaha.

[doomcrs04]

Chris, is it true you once were involved in an eiffel tower with gabe saporta? I hear thats how you got that sweet midtown shirt.

[thespearkid]

Chris didn't answer my question. =(

[4N6 science]

That's awesome, man -- I definitely have to say that is the most crucial point in time when the woman controls everything haha. She knows she can, so she does. It's our job to balance that with maintaining an interest, proving ourselves as good male counterparts -- sort of all goes back to the whole anthropological beginnings, traditional stuff some people would love to change but is just etched into our sociology. After seeing how many failures you can have, the successful ones make even more sense when it comes to this theory.


Yeah this would be that point. I've gotten quite a lot of flack from one of my roommates who's been being a complete douche about me hanging out with my girlfriend. His whole problem stems from his girlfriend being in Spain for study abroad. So he has chosen me to lash out at.

[BJW7191]

i have noticed in my 6 month membership to AP that absolutely nothing in the PL forum should be taken seriously. its impossible. like chris said the only answer to questions/situation is "anal" "tl;dr" "search function" or just somehow manipulating it into a chat thread. i think this is actually a really good idea bc i do see alot of topics "ok so my girlfriend..." "my boyfriend of Xmonths..." etc. i think this would consolidate alot of the clutter threads into one collective thread.

i like the idea

[spansen]

kitten caboodle?

i always thought it was "kit 'n' caboodle"
hmm... something to ponder.
it is.

[samXcor3]

Yeahh, but we have vaginas.

Yeah and we want vaginas. So maybe you're manipulating us, or maybe you just think you are, when we're just hanging in there to get some action.

for the record, i'm not a douche, and i'm totally a virgin, but seriously, girls aren't half as crafty as they think.

[samXcor3]

I will un-sticky this, since that seems to be the main gripe in here. Again, there are plenty of other threads available for specific needs -- however, if you have a quick question or something doesn't apply to any threads you find, let us help you in here where myself and others can deal with a wide range of topics. This is what Personal Life is meant for: to help out everyone.

This is not a clique, this is a community. We are here to help and socialize with every member on the site. Any further questions/comments? E-mail me: chris.fallon@absolutepunk.net
why not just ignore it instead of people bitching about unstickying it?!

[BJW7191]

the whole "girl using their vagina to manipulate me" thing doesnt work anymore... if she doesnt put out, ill just jack off and ill still get my way

[ikikwe]

I have a little dilemma, myself. I like to smoke pot, and I smoke it fairly often. A good friend of mine voiced her concerns about 6 months ago, believing I was going to become a drug addict because I enjoyed smoking. We sorted things out, but fast forward to this weekend. I got a little out of control, so, she confronted me. She told me she felt that I was blowing her and some of my other friends off to smoke pot. So, I decided to take a break from smoking, but now every time I try to hang out with her, she just blows me off. Is she just giving me a dose of my own medicine? Or is she just being an ignorant bitch? Enlighten me, Dr. Chris. I don't want to stop smoking pot if she's going to blow me off regardless.

[Chris Fallon]

Hm. Advice thread? Eh, why not. I could use some advice.

So I've got these two amazing friends, Emily and Kathleen. Emily and I started dating about two weeks ago and broke up about a week ago (not for any bad reason, we just both realized we were better as friends.) So, I've been getting really close to Kathleen lately. We go for walks, eat meals together, watch movies, do homework, and I've fallen asleep on her bed 4 out of the past 5 nights. Now, word comes my way that Emily would be interested in having a strictly physical relationship with me. Question is, what do I do? Now, there are a few factors to consider here.

1. Kathleen definitely does like me. However, she's worried that we might not work out (she's a devout Christian and I'm an atheist.)

2. Emily and Kathleen are great friends as well. Emily doesn't know that Kathleen and I like each other yet but I think she might be catching on.

Now, what's the best thing to do to assure that neither girl gets hurt but that I get something out of the deal as well.
Ooh, this is a tricky and delicate situation. Many things to consider here: one, if the religious aspect is a big problem, it could cause some static. Then again, if the chemistry is there and it doesn't get in the way, it could be wonderful. However, "devout Christian" is never a good sign in this case.

Now, the second part of this problem is breaking up not only the friendship you have with Emily, but the friendship Emily has with Kathleen. Women tend to lean with each other, so if Emily is the vengeful type, she could coax Kathleen into hating you. However, this could go a number of ways depending on the girl's perspective: she may be over you enough to be cool with it, or might think you were digging Kathleen when you dated her. She might not take that well.

My advice: talk to Kathleen straight up. Get her feelings on the entire situation, starting with your future first. It appears that you two have a great connection, so I would try to discuss where it is going and if it's more serious than it is at the moment. If she gives you a thumbs up, discuss Emily with her and discuss how you two can approach that side of things. Keep me updated on the situation, and hopefully this gives some insight!

haha great idea Chris! if you need help answering questions with sincerity let me know and i will answer some.

forget the haters, someone always complains, not much you can do about it.
Thank you, my friend. I would love to hear your side of the coin -- please feel free to pitch in at any time!

Chris, is it true you once were involved in an eiffel tower with gabe saporta? I hear thats how you got that sweet midtown shirt.
I can confirm that this is 100% pure truth. "The City is At War" was written about our exploits.

Yeah this would be that point. I've gotten quite a lot of flack from one of my roommates who's been being a complete douche about me hanging out with my girlfriend. His whole problem stems from his girlfriend being in Spain for study abroad. So he has chosen me to lash out at.
Man, that's the lameness of some guys. Seeing a relationship where two people are secure and confident in how they come across as a couple scares people. Especially if it's during a long-distance thing. He's simply scared of losing something special and sees that mirrored through you and your girlfriend. He probably knows he's being a douche, it's just his therapy... even if we don't agree with it haha

i have noticed in my 6 month membership to AP that absolutely nothing in the PL forum should be taken seriously. its impossible. like chris said the only answer to questions/situation is "anal" "tl;dr" "search function" or just somehow manipulating it into a chat thread. i think this is actually a really good idea bc i do see alot of topics "ok so my girlfriend..." "my boyfriend of Xmonths..." etc. i think this would consolidate alot of the clutter threads into one collective thread.

i like the idea
You're a good guy -- thank you for the kind words.

why not just ignore it instead of people bitching about unstickying it?!
We'll see how it goes, and if popular opinion likes it stickied, I will re sticky this bad boy :-)

the whole "girl using their vagina to manipulate me" thing doesnt work anymore... if she doesnt put out, ill just jack off and ill still get my way
:-0

I have a little dilemma, myself. I like to smoke pot, and I smoke it fairly often. A good friend of mine voiced her concerns about 6 months ago, believing I was going to become a drug addict because I enjoyed smoking. We sorted things out, but fast forward to this weekend. I got a little out of control, so, she confronted me. She told me she felt that I was blowing her and some of my other friends off to smoke pot. So, I decided to take a break from smoking, but now every time I try to hang out with her, she just blows me off. Is she just giving me a dose of my own medicine? Or is she just being an ignorant bitch? Enlighten me, Dr. Chris. I don't want to stop smoking pot if she's going to blow me off regardless.
First off, the entire notion of pot being an addictive drug is just nonsense. It's been proven that it's a safer alternative to alcohol and cigarettes, and while it may be against many individual's moral hindsight, I could never say it's entirely addictive. I used to smoke a lot of weed in high school -- it did determine much of my social circle and what I chose to do/where I chose to go, depending on who wanted to smoke and hang out, etc. If it really bugs her that much, I would suspect it's not the weed she is upset about -- she's probably upset from a moral standpoint, but also irritated with your social choices.

I can understand both sides here. I'm going to say she's just giving you a taste of your own medicine -- maybe it would be best to take her out and speak candidly with her. Honestly, if your habits bother her that much, there's got to be something you're not realizing you are doing or her own uptight views. Come to an agreement with each other, and try to mend the friendship. It sounds like it still have life, so let me know what she says after you speak to her about whether or not it's really the smoking she is mad about.

[BJW7191]

chris, you gotta warn us about those 5 mile posts that you do... i almost tl;dr-ed you

[Chris Fallon]

Hahaha I'm a huge supporter of the multi-quote function -- beware!

[BJW7191]

Hahaha I'm a huge supporter of the multi-quote function -- beware!


my longest multi-quote was 3


im not very good at it

but you seriously need a warning or something before you do one of those. they are dangerous

[fadedmemories]

Because most of the time, we can :]

Yeahh, but we have vaginas.
hahaha

[Mxbaby511]

Yeah and we want vaginas. So maybe you're manipulating us, or maybe you just think you are, when we're just hanging in there to get some action.

for the record, i'm not a douche, and i'm totally a virgin, but seriously, girls aren't half as crafty as they think.


Maybe thats what we want you to think...
Like Chris said, we're much better at ignoring men.

[4N6 science]

Man, that's the lameness of some guys. Seeing a relationship where two people are secure and confident in how they come across as a couple scares people. Especially if it's during a long-distance thing. He's simply scared of losing something special and sees that mirrored through you and your girlfriend. He probably knows he's being a douche, it's just his therapy... even if we don't agree with it haha

Yeah it is quite lame. Because I feel like if his girl was here there wouldn't be this whole problem. The bold made me laugh.

[Charles777]

Alright, I am in need of some serious advice...

I'm trying to find a way to tell my friends that I'm bisexual, but I have no idea how to do it and I don't know how they'll react. I don't think any of them have a problem with people that are gay or bi, but I still think it would freak them out a little. Is there even a point in telling them? How WOULD I tell them?

:-)

[BJW7191]

Alright, I am in need of some serious advice...

I'm trying to find a way to tell my friends that I'm bisexual, but I have no idea how to do it and I don't know how they'll react. I don't think any of them have a problem with people that are gay or bi, but I still think it would freak them out a little. Is there even a point in telling them? How WOULD I tell them?

:-)
i honestly think you should tell them, in the right time for you... dont just come out and say it to get it out. make sure youre comfortable with the timing. also if they are freaked out whenever you do, if they start blowing you off pun not intended at all and treating you shitty, dont worry about them anymore... friends shouldnt treat you different bc of your lifestyle.

[SomedayTheFire]

Alright, I am in need of some serious advice...

I'm trying to find a way to tell my friends that I'm bisexual, but I have no idea how to do it and I don't know how they'll react. I don't think any of them have a problem with people that are gay or bi, but I still think it would freak them out a little. Is there even a point in telling them? How WOULD I tell them?

:-)
Run down the road naked yelling 'I'm Biiiiiiii' Worked for me :-)
Hahaha no really, I think sit your best friend down and tell them first of all, doing so makes things easier, and you will gain more confidence from that, obviously it will be a shock to them so don't expect anything less. The best advice I can give is just be comfortable with yourself and only tell the if it is the right thing for you to do, you could even just tell one friend and make them promise to not tell anyone if it takes the weight off your shoulders.

[SomedayTheFire]

i honestly think you should tell them, in the right time for you... dont just come out and say it to get it out. make sure youre comfortable with the timing. also if they are freaked out whenever you do, if they start blowing you off pun not intended at all and treating you shitty, dont worry about them anymore... friends shouldnt treat you different bc of your lifestyle.
I lol'd :-d

[Charles777]

Run down the road naked yelling 'I'm Biiiiiiii' Worked for me :-)
Hahaha no really, I think sit your best friend down and tell them first of all, doing so makes things easier, and you will gain more confidence from that, obviously it will be a shock to them so don't expect anything less. The best advice I can give is just be comfortable with yourself and only tell the if it is the right thing for you to do, you could even just tell one friend and make them promise to not tell anyone if it takes the weight off your shoulders.
I already told my ex-girlfriend, who is bi, AND my best friend, and that helped... But my I have yet to tell my guy friends

:)

[Charles777]

i honestly think you should tell them, in the right time for you... dont just come out and say it to get it out. make sure youre comfortable with the timing. also if they are freaked out whenever you do, if they start blowing you off pun not intended at all and treating you shitty, dont worry about them anymore... friends shouldnt treat you different bc of your lifestyle.
I wouldn't try to tell them if I didn't think now was the right time... Especially because I'm trying to... uh.. get a boyfriend. Anyways, I've been thinking of telling my friends that are girls first. Thoughts?

Also, I don't think my friends would treat my differently. They're cool.

:-)

Edit: Sorry, I don't know how to multi-quote.

XP

[SomedayTheFire]

I already told my ex-girlfriend, who is bi, AND my best friend, and that helped... But my I have yet to tell my guy friends

:)
Like honestly none of my guy friends have ever said or done anything to me, like really if they make a big deal or change because of it they aren't good friends it happened to me, but also guys that used to be homophobic are now really close friends with me. The hardest part is coming out to your family that sucks.

[Charles777]

Like honestly none of my guy friends have ever said or done anything to me, like really if they make a big deal or change because of it they aren't good friends it happened to me, but also guys that used to be homophobic are now really close friends with me. The hardest part is coming out to your family that sucks.
Oh god, I forgot about my family. My sister might not care, my brother too, but my Mom might... My Dad voted for George W., so you can imagine how that will go. Here's what I'll do.

I'm gonna tell all my friends first, and make them swear not to tell anyone in my family, and I'll just leave the family for some other time, because I'm not ready to tell them yet. Does that sound good?

:blink:

Also, can anyone tell me how I might approach my friends? Should I casually bring it up, or sit them down, or what?

[SomedayTheFire]

Oh god, I forgot about my family. My sister might not care, my brother too, but my Mom might... My Dad voted for George W., so you can imagine how that will go. Here's what I'll do.

I'm gonna tell all my friends first, and make them swear not to tell anyone in my family, and I'll just leave the family for some other time, because I'm not ready to tell them yet. Does that sound good?

:blink:

Also, can anyone tell me how I might approach my friends? Should I casually bring it up, or sit them down, or what?
Yeah family is hard to deal with, I just sorta broke down telling them but they were understanding.
Do it that way, friends is much easier, but DO NOT rush it wait till the time is right. Dude, do whatever works for you like I can't tell you to bring it up casually or not, I did it casually but it would probably be different for you you know?

[Charles777]

Yeah family is hard to deal with, I just sorta broke down telling them but they were understanding.
Do it that way, friends is much easier, but DO NOT rush it wait till the time is right. Dude, do whatever works for you like I can't tell you to bring it up casually or not, I did it casually but it would probably be different for you you know?
Yeah... Thanks again!

:D

[more heart]

I too think this is a great idea. Keep it up Chris!

[SomedayTheFire]

I give shit advice at 2 in the morning, I'll help more tomorrow when my mind is clear haha.

[BJW7191]

I wouldn't try to tell them if I didn't think now was the right time... Especially because I'm trying to... uh.. get a boyfriend. Anyways, I've been thinking of telling my friends that are girls first. Thoughts?

Also, I don't think my friends would treat my differently. They're cool.

:-)

Edit: Sorry, I don't know how to multi-quote.

XP


A. amazing avatar

B. i dont think gender matters whom should get told first. i think people whom you have the strongest relationship with should be told first... just bc theyre girls doesnt mean they will understand more

C. dont worry, multi-quote prowess comes with practice

[silentstar1134]

I have another one for chris.
In my relationship w/ my girlfriend I am usually content except for a handful of occasions. I always remember during those times about the girl I had before my now gf. I miss her, but when we were going out I was 19 and she was 16. The age thing didn't bother me and I could totally wait to "take it to the next level" but it bothered her and her parents a lot. I remember the last time I felt "complete", emotionially in a romantic way was with her. Her innocence brought out the best and me and I would just want to be with her all the time. It didn't have to be about sex at all. But we had a messy breakup, which ended up her accusing me of kissing or flirting w/ other girls. It wasn't true though. I miss her a lot, but I don't think she wants anything to do with me because she won't return my texts, or even add me as a "friend". Because if I can be nothing more than a friend than thats ok, as long as i'm in some part of her life.

[Miss Heartcore]

Chris, you're 25?!? :-0

[4N6 science]

Uh Chris make this a sticky again because today we've had two n00b threads asking to make friends.

[Schmidty Says]

So here's my problem:

There's this girl that I've known since 6th grade. I haven't seen her in about a year. I've been talking to her a lot recently, via the internet and text message. She says all the time that she wants to be with me and how she misses me, blah blah blah. Any time I tell her I'm not working, she ignores me. To make things worse, she tells me how much she misses me then blows me off to go out drinking with her friends. When I ask her about it, she lies and is completely oblivious to the fact that she has blown me off and I'm pissed about it. My roommates and my friends all seem to agree that I should just let it go, and I've tried but she won't let it go. What should I do?

[Greg]

So here's my problem:

There's this girl that I've known since 6th grade. I haven't seen her in about a year. I've been talking to her a lot recently, via the internet and text message. She says all the time that she wants to be with me and how she misses me, blah blah blah. Any time I tell her I'm not working, she ignores me. To make things worse, she tells me how much she misses me then blows me off to go out drinking with her friends. When I ask her about it, she lies and is completely oblivious to the fact that she has blown me off and I'm pissed about it. My roommates and my friends all seem to agree that I should just let it go, and I've tried but she won't let it go. What should I do?
it sounds like she only talks to you when it is convenient for her. she just wants your attention when no one else is giving it. you could be her friend but don't bother pursuing her a meaningful relationship. she will just continue to ignore you if someone else is entertaining her.

[DaveZeroZero]

My question: do I have to be a n00b to use this service?

[fulltiltxb00gie]

My question: do I have to be a n00b to use this service?
dave, you will always have the mentality of a noob.

[DaveZeroZero]

dave, you will always have the mentality of a noob.
I think you're confusing the terms "n00b" and "child."

[4N6 science]

I think you're confusing the terms "n00b" and "child."


Your new avatar made me lol.

I like it.

[DaveZeroZero]

Your new avatar made me lol.

I like it.
:beerbros:

I can actually do that now because 18 is the drinking age here! :woot:

[fulltiltxb00gie]

I think you're confusing the terms "n00b" and "child."
all the same in my mind. always asking stupid, immature questions without thinking.

[4N6 science]

:beerbros:

I can actually do that now because 18 is the drinking age here! :woot:

I forgot your birthday was a little while ago!

Happy Belated B-day!

Now come to america and bang some AP broads.

[BJW7191]

dave, i forgot to tell you happy bday bro

[Burning Star IV]

Dave is a perma-n00b.

[4N6 science]

Why is Dave always going to be a perma-n00b?

[fulltiltxb00gie]

Why is Dave always going to be a perma-n00b?
he's just that special.

[4N6 science]

he's just that special.

yeah I guess that's a "prestigious" title.

[fulltiltxb00gie]

yeah I guess that's a "prestigious" title.
he'd probably look at it that way.

[Smash Adams]

Chris when you reviewed that Hoobastank cd you said that Brandon Boyd is half-Asian , I'm pretty sure he isn't

[DaveZeroZero]

I forgot your birthday was a little while ago!

Happy Belated B-day!

Now come to america and bang some AP broads.
Yeah, it was Saturday - Thanks =]

though I was in the US for all of last week haha.

dave, i forgot to tell you happy bday bro
Thanks, Brian :-)

Dave is a perma-n00b.
that's right

Why is Dave always going to be a perma-n00b?
Because my noob is perma and always is the nature of permanence.

[BJW7191]

did you go buy a pint or two?

[banditandrew]

wow i was seriously thinking about doing something like this like ASK DR. ANDREW A QUESTION


but you beat me to the punch, unless you say its ok to make a separate thread

[lovely864md]

How is babby formed?

http://www.planetdan.net/pics/babies/index.htm

[Charles777]

http://www.planetdan.net/pics/babies/index.htm
Well, that was just strange.

[lovely864md]

Well, that was just strange.

I discovered it on this site like a year or two ago, I love it!

[Charles777]

I discovered it on this site like a year or two ago, I love it!
I wish THAT was how I learned. I kinda remember my mom saying something about a baby being cookies getting baked in an oven...

[Jake Denning]

Sup Chris:

A) Sticky the thread.

B) I like this girl alot, I dont even know if its possible to share more in common with a girl than I do with her, but problem is, she's very catholic and plans on going to Franciscan University in the fall, while I stay back in Oregon. Secondly, she's very pro-life, which means "No birth control, including condoms", so I dunno, I think i'd sorta like to have sex more that 2 or 3 times in my lifetime.....either that, or become a chronic pull-outer.....or have 10 kids. Pursue her further, or let her go her way?

[DaveZeroZero]

Sup Chris:

A) Sticky the thread.

B) I like this girl alot, I dont even know if its possible to share more in common with a girl than I do with her, but problem is, she's very catholic and plans on going to Franciscan University in the fall, while I stay back in Oregon. Secondly, she's very pro-life, which means "No birth control, including condoms", so I dunno, I think i'd sorta like to have sex more that 2 or 3 times in my lifetime.....either that, or become a chronic pull-outer.....or have 10 kids. Pursue her further, or let her go her way?
Let her go her way, unless, of course, you want to a) marry her and b) become a 20-year-old father who cheats a lot.

[caress me down]

shit no condoms?
that's kind of whack

[caress me down]

Ah I just thought of something I need advice for:

Technically, I have SAT scores and grades that would qualify one of my choices a complete safety school, but this school is in the perfect location, is the perfect size, etc. I know I would be very very happy here. Should I stick to the rule of thumb of attending the best school I get into, or go where I would be happiest?

[DaveZeroZero]

Ah I just thought of something I need advice for:

Technically, I have SAT scores and grades that would qualify one of my choices a complete safety school, but this school is in the perfect location, is the perfect size, etc. I know I would be very very happy here. Should I stick to the rule of thumb of attending the best school I get into, or go where I would be happiest?
I'd go with a combination of the two. That's what I've done.

[AP_Punk]

http://www.planetdan.net/pics/babies/index.htm

bahahaha. i love it.

[caress me down]

I'd go with a combination of the two. That's what I've done.
Haha, well, most of the schools I'm looking at are similar to each other besides this one, so it'd be a big difference.

[aloneatlastnj]

really? this is sticky worthy?

no way you are 31 years old..

[4N6 science]

Ah I just thought of something I need advice for:

Technically, I have SAT scores and grades that would qualify one of my choices a complete safety school, but this school is in the perfect location, is the perfect size, etc. I know I would be very very happy here. Should I stick to the rule of thumb of attending the best school I get into, or go where I would be happiest?

Go to the school for which you feel the most comfortable and happy. If you don't do that you will have a miserable time and regret going to the "better" school. I definitely recommend going the place that is "perfect" for you.

[caress me down]

Go to the school for which you feel the most comfortable and happy. If you don't do that you will have a miserable time and regret going to the "better" school. I definitely recommend going the place that is "perfect" for you.
I would agree with that 100% any other time except now because of our shitty economy. If you look at the schools I could get into and the one I want to go to, it's a huge difference academically. It could mean the difference of having or not having a job later in life....
And don't get me wrong, there are definitely a lot of other schools I would be happy at... but nothing seems quite as perfect as this school

[4N6 science]

http://www.planetdan.net/pics/babies/index.htm

Thanks Mary for that...quite informative.

[AP_Punk]

i love how all of 'em are smiling throughout the whole thing.

[4N6 science]

i love how all of 'em are smiling throughout the whole thing.

I enjoy my new avatar with the baby spreading the vagina with his hands and making his debut into the world.

[AP_Punk]

the kid looks so stoked!

that's an entrance no one can top.

[4N6 science]

Not at all. I laughed so hard when I saw that.

[lovely864md]

Thanks Mary for that...quite informative.

Ahahahaha your avatar! I love it.

[fadedmemories]

Thanks Mary for that...quite informative.
lol at your avatar wow.

[4N6 science]

Ahahahaha your avatar! I love it.

I knew you would.

lol at your avatar wow.

yes...that is what you think it is.

[fadedmemories]

yes...that is what you think it is.
:appl:

[babyg299]

well i think you might be perfect to answer my question

[spritelybrin]

Sup Chris:

A) Sticky the thread.

B) I like this girl alot, I dont even know if its possible to share more in common with a girl than I do with her, but problem is, she's very catholic and plans on going to Franciscan University in the fall, while I stay back in Oregon. Secondly, she's very pro-life, which means "No birth control, including condoms", so I dunno, I think i'd sorta like to have sex more that 2 or 3 times in my lifetime.....either that, or become a chronic pull-outer.....or have 10 kids. Pursue her further, or let her go her way?
wow...i was raised Catholic..went to Catholic school most of my life...and im pro-life but uhh i use both kinds ...yikes...good luck with that my dear..thats rough...=/

[spritelybrin]

Ahahahaha your avatar! I love it.
just wanted to say i like your avatar....one of my favorite movies...its soo fucked up lol

[takemyhand]

K I can haz advice plz ?


My boyfriend 'quit' smoking weed about 7 months ago, maybe a few months longer actually; but anyway:
I heard from one of his good, good friends that he still smokes.
I'm really against any drugs and shit, so it sort of sucks.
But what sucks the most is that he's lying to me.. like we went through our whole lying stage after we started dating again & he promised :|
so do I confront him about it, or what ?
He thinks I'll break up with him if I find out, and I don't know what I'll do :|

*I can't let him know how I found out, I don't want to get the person that told me in trouble..

[googirl8907]

K I can haz advice plz ?


My boyfriend 'quit' smoking weed about 7 months ago, maybe a few months longer actually; but anyway:
I heard from one of his good, good friends that he still smokes.
I'm really against any drugs and shit, so it sort of sucks.
But what sucks the most is that he's lying to me.. like we went through our whole lying stage after we started dating again & he promised :|
so do I confront him about it, or what ?
He thinks I'll break up with him if I find out, and I don't know what I'll do :|

*I can't let him know how I found out, I don't want to get the person that told me in trouble..
If you're really against it, I say confront him about it.

[takemyhand]

If you're really against it, I say confront him about it.

but how do I explain to him that I found out about it.
I'm totally against it :\ he promised he quit,
I don't know I don't drink or smoke so I don't get why he has to :|

[googirl8907]

but how do I explain to him that I found out about it.
I'm totally against it :\ he promised he quit,
I don't know I don't drink or smoke so I don't get why he has to :|
Just say you know he still does it?
Is him smoking a deal breaker for you?

[bung]

K I can haz advice plz ?


My boyfriend 'quit' smoking weed about 7 months ago, maybe a few months longer actually; but anyway:
I heard from one of his good, good friends that he still smokes.
I'm really against any drugs and shit, so it sort of sucks.
But what sucks the most is that he's lying to me.. like we went through our whole lying stage after we started dating again & he promised :|
so do I confront him about it, or what ?
He thinks I'll break up with him if I find out, and I don't know what I'll do :|

*I can't let him know how I found out, I don't want to get the person that told me in trouble..

Get high with him and strengthen the relationship.

(it's just weed)

[takemyhand]

Just say you know he still does it?
Is him smoking a deal breaker for you?

I got him to admit it, I guess he was feeling guilty about it.
Well I don't think I could ever marry someone that smokes.. so i mean I guess if he could/wants to really quit.
But mostly the lying is what sucks.

[takemyhand]

Get high with him and strengthen the relationship.

(it's just weed)

well,
I've always been against it.

[bung]

well,
I've always been against it.

Yeah, but if you get high with him now it will show him you care and you two can bond.

[takemyhand]

Yeah, but if you get high with him now it will show him you care and you two can bond.

lmao. no how about he just fucking stops like he said he did a long time ago and he can show me he cares.

[bung]

lmao. no how about he just fucking stops like he said he did a long time ago and he can show me he cares.

seriously, if you'd just get high you'd know why he doesnt want to stop and you'd understand.

[googirl8907]

I got him to admit it, I guess he was feeling guilty about it.
Well I don't think I could ever marry someone that smokes.. so i mean I guess if he could/wants to really quit.
But mostly the lying is what sucks.
Tell him you don't want to be with someone who will lie to your face. :shrug:

[takemyhand]

seriously, if you'd just get high you'd know why he doesnt want to stop and you'd understand.

noooope

[DaveZeroZero]

Give him a urine test.

[fadedmemories]

K I can haz advice plz ?


My boyfriend 'quit' smoking weed about 7 months ago, maybe a few months longer actually; but anyway:
I heard from one of his good, good friends that he still smokes.
I'm really against any drugs and shit, so it sort of sucks.
But what sucks the most is that he's lying to me.. like we went through our whole lying stage after we started dating again & he promised :|
so do I confront him about it, or what ?
He thinks I'll break up with him if I find out, and I don't know what I'll do :|

*I can't let him know how I found out, I don't want to get the person that told me in trouble..
Just tell him you'll stop having sex with him unless he stops smoking pot.

[DaveZeroZero]

I would do anything to keep having sex with takemyhand

[takemyhand]

I would do anything to keep having sex with takemyhand

hhahahahahahaha

[takemyhand]

well, he admitted to it last night.
It was only 5 times in the past 7 months.
I guess that's not bad, I mean, I was mostly pissed about the lie.
He said he just did it because it was hard for him to say know with all his friends doing it.
I guess I can understand that, I mean I'm really against smoking and drinking -but I've drank like, twice ? And it was mostly because my friends were all doing it you know ?
But, I know he feels really bad - and he swears he'll never touch it again.

So, I guess this just worked it's self out.
hahahaha, c00l.

thnx dr. chri$

[a7xrockerangel]

I think this thread is a wonderful idea. Kudos for starting it.

[.invisible ink.]

well, he admitted to it last night.
It was only 5 times in the past 7 months.
I guess that's not bad, I mean, I was mostly pissed about the lie.
He said he just did it because it was hard for him to say know with all his friends doing it.
I guess I can understand that, I mean I'm really against smoking and drinking -but I've drank like, twice ? And it was mostly because my friends were all doing it you know ?
But, I know he feels really bad - and he swears he'll never touch it again.

So, I guess this just worked it's self out.
hahahaha, c00l.

thnx dr. chri$

you're going to look back at what a big deal you've made over something so silly as this and realize how young and naive you were when you were in high school. seriously, as others have stated, why not just try it once - you've already tried drinking. you'll probably end up like 90% of the population and will try it in college anyway. sure it sucks that your boyfriend lied but he was lying because you've put him in that position. if you don't want to try it, that's fine but why should you care if he does it if it doesn't affect you? And, btw, he's still lying to you when he says it was hard to say no because of peer pressure. give me a break. he's just trying to shut you up. seriously, wouldn't you rather have a boyfriend that doesn't feel the need to hide random things from you just because you don't like them?

[takemyhand]

you're going to look back at what a big deal you've made over something so silly as this and realize how young and naive you were when you were in high school. seriously, as others have stated, why not just try it once - you've already tried drinking. you'll probably end up like 90% of the population and will try it in college anyway. sure it sucks that your boyfriend lied but he was lying because you've put him in that position. if you don't want to try it, that's fine but why should you care if he does it if it doesn't affect you? And, btw, he's still lying to you when he says it was hard to say no because of peer pressure. give me a break. he's just trying to shut you up. seriously, wouldn't you rather have a boyfriend that doesn't feel the need to hide random things from you just because you don't like them?

I told him I didn't care if he did really, it was mostly the lie. I'm so against smoking pot, a lot of my family does and I can see how great their lives turned out...

I mean, I used go to parties with people smoking all over, I just have no want to try it. All of the people I know that do it suck. And it does affect me if he smokes it. I don't think he meant it was hard to say no, just all of his friends do it, so them all sitting around doing it I guess he just did. He didn't put the blame on peer pressure, he blamed himself. And the college thing, I'm not planning to live on campus, I might not even go to college, and anyway I'm not a party person. And I realize I'll look back and I probably won't even remember this; but all that matters is now -or it did, I'm over it.

[SonEric84]

I told him I didn't care if he did really, it was mostly the lie. I'm so against smoking pot, a lot of my family does and I can see how great their lives turned out...

I mean, I used go to parties with people smoking all over, I just have no want to try it. All of the people I know that do it suck. And it does affect me if he smokes it. I don't think he meant it was hard to say no, just all of his friends do it, so them all sitting around doing it I guess he just did. He didn't put the blame on peer pressure, he blamed himself. And the college thing, I'm not planning to live on campus, I might not even go to college, and anyway I'm not a party person. And I realize I'll look back and I probably won't even remember this; but all that matters is now -or it did, I'm over it.


Good to see there are still some people left with a mind of their own. Stick with what you believe in and don't let anyone tell you it's silly or stupid.


You should be older and single....then you could date me. :thumbup:


/creepy.

[jusscali]

I'm 22 and far from naive and I still partially loathe people who smoke pot. The girl I'm dating now used to and grew out of it so I'm glad.

[takemyhand]

Good to see there are still some people left with a mind of their own. Stick with what you believe in and don't let anyone tell you it's silly or stupid.


You should be older and single....then you could date me. :thumbup:


/creepy.

hahahahaha w00t.

[SonEric84]

hahahahaha w00t.



haha I suppose I could have received far worse of a reaction.

[takemyhand]

haha I suppose I could have received far worse of a reaction.

it's okay, I'm a creep too.

[SonEric84]

it's okay, I'm a creep too.



I'll keep that in mind.

[HelpMeSleep]

skimming through that one post on the first page, my eyes totally picked out the name Gabe Saporta.

good thread idea, Chris. I like it. :-)

[lovely864md]

Well doctor doctor come give me the cure
Easily obsess on an open sore
Doctor doctor can't get no relief
This losing sleep is misery
Won't you come and rescue me?

[Charles777]

Well doctor doctor come give me the cure
Easily obsess on an open sore
Doctor doctor can't get no relief
This losing sleep is misery
Won't you come and rescue me?

Lol wut