Am I Over You?

[Kirsty.com]

Thoughts Appreciated.

So you and me?
Thought we were meant to be,
Was I right?
Will we be together tonight?

[Chorus]

Was it a big joke to you, my happiness?
Well I guess it was, cause you broke me in half.
I was hurt
I was crushed
And all you did was laugh.

My dream guy…
Where had he gone?
My fairytale…
What have I done?

I’ve ruined everything x2

[Chorus]

I didn’t fit, anymore,
Won’t even open my door,
You were my life,
I needed you
What will I do…
Now?

So you and me,
Guess we weren’t meant to be,
Just another boyfriend, in this girls diary.
I’ve moved on…
I don’t need you, anymore.

[Chorus]

I’m over you.

[thespearkid]

Same problems as all the work you post here.

[Kirsty.com]

Your really mean tbh.

[thespearkid]

No. I can be mean, if you like, but posting honest criticism is not being mean. You're young and you haven't had a lot of the classes yet that will expose you to great poetry and force you to analyze what makes it good so I've got no right to be mean to you. I will, however, be honest and tell you that what you're writing right now is not good.

[Kirsty.com]

Thanks, Supprisingly I get told alot that im quite good. So im not going to let some stranger get to me:D

[screamoutmyname]

your name is a website

[Un'Aria Ancora]

It reads like it was written by a 15 year old girl...
Oh...

[Kirsty.com]

No way. LOL. Did that not meaning two. Kirsty is my name, so i just thought I'd be cool:L

[thespearkid]

Thanks, Supprisingly I get told alot that im quite good. So im not going to let some stranger get to me:D
Your friends, other 15 year olds, and your freshmen English teacher aren't good sources to know whether or not your poetry is any good. Take my advice. Whenever I post a piece here, I make it a point to ignore most of the "omg, this iz so amazing" comments because they don't mean anything. Anyone can say somethings amazing but if they can't say why it's amazing, odds are, they don't know enough about poetry to make a judgement on quality. Even the best pieces in the world can always be better so don't just ignore people who offer real criticism just because you don't like what they're saying.

This goes for all the new writers in this forum.

[Kirsty.com]

Dude, your not that friendly really:L Im from England. Don't patronise me. Could do without it.

[leedaviesYEAH]

Lolz at the conversation going on on this !
I like the first verse :)

[Moshtradamus]

Dude, your not that friendly really:L Im from England. Don't patronise me. Could do without it.
He's giving an honest opinion that I agree with, don't have to take it so personally, you'll never grow as a writer if you just listen to the people saying how great it is.

[diehtc0ke]

He's giving an honest opinion that I agree with, don't have to take it so personally, you'll never grow as a writer if you just listen to the people saying how great it is.This. You didn't post your work here to be told "z0mg it's lyk the best thing eva!111" That doesn't help anyone (especially when it's not true).

[Moshtradamus]

Also I don't understand what being from England has to do with anything, I'm from Ireland and didn't find what thespearkid said patronising.

[more heart]

Dude, your not that friendly really:L Im from England. Don't patronise me. Could do without it.

*patronize

lol. Please go away.

[diehtc0ke]

*patronize

lol. Please go away.
She's British. That's how they spell patronize (and pretty much every other word that ends in -ze in America).

[Kirsty.com]

You go away.

[andrew4045]

the only way this works is with a death metal voacalist

[calmly haven't]

lol this thread

[more heart]

She's British. That's how they spell patronize (and pretty much every other word that ends in -ze in America).

Haha, I'm aware of that. There are a ton of words that have different spellings. I kind of wanted to be a jerk because of all of her stupid threads.

[diehtc0ke]

Haha, I'm aware of that. There are a ton of words that have different spellings. I kind of wanted to be a jerk because of all of her stupid threads.
lol I never know when people are being serious or not on these forums.

[Kirsty.com]

Hey! Thats like not that nice :/

[more heart]

Hey! Thats like not that nice :/

Haha, case in point.

[diehtc0ke]

Haha, case in point.
Touché.

[Kirsty.com]

Look, just back off :@

[more heart]

Look, just back off :@

If you're just going to post poetry, this isn't the site for you.

[Kirsty.com]

What do you mean? That there is no hope for me in this whole thing? :(

[more heart]

Pretty much, especially when it's cliche teenage poetry.

[diehtc0ke]

What do you mean? That there is no hope for me in this whole thing? :(
I'd never tell anyone that there's no hope but until your writing matures, you're not going to produce anything good.

[Kirsty.com]

Ok then, I guess I'll just give in? Yeah. Thanks.

[more heart]

Thanks for the lolz though. You're very good at that.

[Moshtradamus]

LOOK, HE'S NOT SAYING THAT YOU SHOULD GIVE UP POETRY, HE'S JUST SAYING THAT YOU SHOULD TRY TO MATURE WITH YOUR APPROACH TO WRITING POETRY AND STOP USING PLAYED OUT CLICHES. Stop acting like we're bullying you or something.

[more heart]

LOOK, HE'S NOT SAYING THAT YOU SHOULD GIVE UP POETRY, HE'S JUST SAYING THAT YOU SHOULD TRY TO MATURE WITH YOUR APPROACH TO WRITING POETRY AND STOP USING PLAYED OUT CLICHES. Stop acting like we're bullying you or something.

Best username ever

[Kirsty.com]

I think you all ned to just gimme a break.Ffs.

[SeeYouSeptember]

hi, my name is joe, i suck at poetry :overhead:

[YoMusicSoFat]

What do you mean? That there is no hope for me in this whole thing? :(

There's hope if you go on deviantart and post this stuff over there and kindly leave this site to music and the Anal thread.

[rckstr29]

Listen guys, obviously all it takes to write good lyrics is to add a lot of words like baby, woah, tonight, and usually bridge/city burning. I'm pretty sure as long as this girl has nice hair and a bubbly attitude, she will do just fine in the world of music. It worked for Miley.

[thespearkid]

Dude, your not that friendly really:L Im from England. Don't patronise me. Could do without it.
... OK. Whatever.

[YoMusicSoFat]

Listen guys, obviously all it takes to write good lyrics is to add a lot of words like baby, woah, tonight, and usually bridge/city burning. I'm pretty sure as long as this girl has nice hair and a bubbly attitude, she will do just fine in the world of music. It worked for Miley.

Miley has one of the most notorious country artists for a father.

[a speedo model]

I'm from England. Don't patronise me.

Hahahaha

[rckstr29]

Miley has one of the most notorious country artists for a father.

Oh that's true. I forgot to mention you need a foot in the door. Well I guess this girl is screwed, unless she's really pretty.

[Jabble524]

Hey, the threads here can be kinda tough. Don't worry about it though. I liked your poetry. It had alot of feeling. Keep up the good work.

[Kirsty.com]

Hey, the threads here can be kinda tough. Don't worry about it though. I liked your poetry. It had alot of feeling. Keep up the good work.
Thank you:) That means alot. And Btw, I'm not pretty, im ugly. and my hair isnt nice and i'm quite boring. So yeah, I guess I am screwed.

[Roboman]

Hahahaha oh man...

[Kirsty.com]

Hahahaha oh man...
What do you mean by that?

[lew_1987]

You really need to get out into the big wide world.

[YoMusicSoFat]

Your really mean tbh.

You're*.

And no offence, but find another hobby.

[Qfwfq]

What's important is not what anyone here says.

Some people will like your writing, some people will hate it. It will be this way forever, no matter how good or bad you are.

For every English major in love with Emerson, there is one who despises him.

For every musician who finds inspiration in Metallica, there is one who laughs at them.

Keep posting your lyrics/poems, because adjusting yourself to public criticism is important as an artist. However, more importantly, keep working hard at it.

If it's something you love, you should strive to always be getting better at it. Part of getting better is recognizing your weaknesses. Sometimes this will happen on your own, sometimes it will take someone who is blunt, or even downright mean to show these to you.

If you love writing, you should breathe it. Read more. Study what it is you like about the writing you enjoy. Emulate it. Only when you fully understand what it is you love about writing will you be able to truly pursue your own words.

I know it is difficult to read some of the comments in this thread, whether they are truly cruel or not (many of them are not -- simply honest), but you need to realize that all of this will only benefit you in the end. Take the negativity you are experiencing, and survive off of it. Rather than get defensive, work yourself to the bone and show everyone here that you're capable of impressing them.

And of course, you're young. If you take yourself seriously now, you will surely be great. But it takes time, and hard work. Being great at something can not be accomplished in passing.

[Kirsty.com]

Ok,so someone tell me, what I should do to this to improve it, and make it better?

[diehtc0ke]

What's important is not what anyone here says.
I somewhat enjoyed the rest of this but what's the point of posting your writing if the responses are meaningless?

[Kirsty.com]

No advice for me then?

[Calvin's Shadow]

*patronize

lol. Please go away.

The british spelling is patronise, the american spelling is patronize, don't be such a racist.

[thespearkid]

The british spelling is patronise, the american spelling is patronize, don't be such a racist.
... you're joking, right?

[Kirsty.com]

Hello?! ADVICE PLEASE?

[bangoballa]

Hello?! ADVICE PLEASE?

If you want advice, just listen to your own self, this is a forum where you are allowed to post your poetry and lyrics, and the way you can improve is by taking constructive criticism from other people. You are 15, you have so much time to become a great lyricist, don't listen to 90% of the internet, all they care about is flaming others. Your work is good, just have to improve on it. :)



For this idiot, if you are going to make fun of someone about their spelling, then make sure you spell correctly too.

You're*.

And no offence, but find another hobby.

Offense*

[Kirsty.com]

If you want advice, just listen to your own self, this is a forum where you are allowed to post your poetry and lyrics, and the way you can improve is by taking constructive criticism from other people. You are 15, you have so much time to become a great lyricist, don't listen to 90% of the internet, all they care about is flaming others. Your work is good, just have to improve on it. :)



For this idiot, if you are going to make fun of someone about their spelling, then make sure you spell correctly too.



Offense*

Lol! thank you(:

[more heart]

The british spelling is patronise, the american spelling is patronize, don't be such a racist.

Firstly, how was that racist? Secondly, if you read ahead you would have known that it was a joke and that I know that there are different spellings.

[YoMusicSoFat]

If you want advice, just listen to your own self, this is a forum where you are allowed to post your poetry and lyrics, and the way you can improve is by taking constructive criticism from other people. You are 15, you have so much time to become a great lyricist, don't listen to 90% of the internet, all they care about is flaming others. Your work is good, just have to improve on it. :)



For this idiot, if you are going to make fun of someone about their spelling, then make sure you spell correctly too.



Offense*

LMAO. In England we spell ''offence'' with a ''c''. If you're going to make fun of someone about their spelling, then make sure you know what the fuck you're talking about.

[SomedayTheFire]

The british spelling is patronise, the american spelling is patronize, don't be such a racist.

Hahahahahahaha

[more heart]

... you're joking, right?

I certainly hope he is...

[YoMusicSoFat]

Lol! thank you(:

Gotta love how you're from England and you thanked him for dissing my English spelling of a word.

[SomedayTheFire]

Thanks, Supprisingly I get told alot that im quite good. So im not going to let some stranger get to me:D
I get told I'm good too, doesn't make it true though. I am a sub-standard writer and I know I am. You need to stop with the cliched trite that 5 million other teenage girls write about and find something new to write about.

[bangoballa]

Gotta love how you're from England and you thanked him for dissing my English spelling of a word.


Gotta love how I'm not a d-bag, thus making her not hate me, because it seems that everyone is criticizing her, when she doesn't deserve it.

[more heart]

Thread is full of win

[bangoballa]

Thread is full of win


haha fa sho my brotha

[diehtc0ke]

Gotta love how I'm not a d-bag, thus making her not hate me, because it seems that everyone is criticizing her, when she doesn't deserve it.Her writing needs to be criticized because it's not very good. Without being critical (I agree, maybe the douchbaggery was a bit much), she'll keep using the same old clichés and thinking she's a good writer. At this point, she's not. There's a difference between being critical (with whatever negative connotations you're putting on it) and being honest.

[bangoballa]

yea but shes just 15. I mean she can only improve. She hasn't reached her prime whatsoever, so she'll be fine.

[YoMusicSoFat]

Gotta love how you're from England and you thanked him for dissing my English spelling of a word.

Gotta love how I'm not a d-bag, thus making her not hate me, because it seems that everyone is criticizing her, when she doesn't deserve it.

I never said anything shitty, I just corrected her grammar (which is contructive critisism, teaching her to spell) and told her to get a new hobby (also very constructive.)

PS. When you laughed at my correct spelling earlier- it's called an americanism. Almost any word that ends in ''ize'' in America ends in ''ise'' here, words that sometimes end in ''er'' in America end in ''re'' here, eg. Theatre, centre, and words like ''defense'' and ''offense'' are spelled with ''c''s, not ''s''s. Now I've cleared that up, I'm sure you can read the secret code I'm writing in.

And our chocolate kicks your chocolates' butts.

[more heart]

I never said anything shitty, I just corrected her grammar (which is contructive critisism, teaching her to spell) and told her to get a new hobby (also very constructive.)

PS. When you laughed at my correct spelling earlier- it's called an americanism. Almost any word that ends in ''ize'' in America ends in ''ise'' here, words that sometimes end in ''er'' in America end in ''re'' here, eg. Theatre, centre, and words like ''defense'' and ''offense'' are spelled with ''c''s, not ''s''s. Now I've cleared that up, I'm sure you can read the secret code I'm writing in.

And our chocolate kicks your chocolates' butts.

Reeses's. Suck it!

[SomedayTheFire]

I never said anything shitty, I just corrected her grammar (which is contructive critisism, teaching her to spell) and told her to get a new hobby (also very constructive.)

PS. When you laughed at my correct spelling earlier- it's called an americanism. Almost any word that ends in ''ize'' in America ends in ''ise'' here, words that sometimes end in ''er'' in America end in ''re'' here, eg. Theatre, centre, and words like ''defense'' and ''offense'' are spelled with ''c''s, not ''s''s. Now I've cleared that up, I'm sure you can read the secret code I'm writing in.

And our chocolate kicks your chocolates' butts.
Constructive*
Criticism*

[Kirsty.com]

Dudes, Thanks I think?
But I enjoy wrting and I'mgoing to re-write this & most of my other stuff and re-post it.

[Qfwfq]

I somewhat enjoyed the rest of this but what's the point of posting your writing if the responses are meaningless?

I suppose the short of it was that I meant that it doesn't matter so much what people say as how you utilize what they're saying. Of course, without A there is no B, so I definitely think that all opinions/responses hold weight, but perhaps I did a poor job of illustrating that.

I'll crawl back into my hole now =(

[Joshuah1]

FUCK ME! You people are so sad on this site. Whatever happened to be friendly? No need to pull the girl apart. Jeeez man get a bit more of a life (Y)

[leedaviesYEAH]

Haha, Haaaaaaa. I agree with Josuah1 :) Leave her alone

[gilfers]

I have no issue with constructive criticism as that's what makes people improve and all that jazz.
but what's Miley Cyrus got to do with anythingg?
Hahaha.

[SomedayTheFire]

FUCK ME! You people are so sad on this site. Whatever happened to be friendly? No need to pull the girl apart. Jeeez man get a bit more of a life (Y)

Welcome to the internet, if you don't like it GTFO.

[more heart]

FUCK ME! You people are so sad on this site. Whatever happened to be friendly? No need to pull the girl apart. Jeeez man get a bit more of a life (Y)

Haha, Haaaaaaa. I agree with Josuah1 :) Leave her alone

You each have soo much to learn...

[tommy's ghost]

I wouldn't call this poetry as much as I'd call it typical pop song lyrics. A little creativity can go a long way, you know?

[gilfers]

Welcome to the internet, if you don't like it GTFO.

are you saying it's okay to be that mean to someone 'cos that's what the internet is for?
for real?

[SomedayTheFire]

are you saying it's okay to be that mean to someone 'cos that's what the internet is for?
for real?
No. I'm saying it's going to happen wherever you go on the internet. Suck it up and take it on the chin like everyone else.

[gilfers]

No. I'm saying it's going to happen wherever you go on the internet. Suck it up and take it on the chin like everyone else.

I guess so.
but it doesn't really make it right.

[Joshuah1]

Welcome to the internet, if you don't like it GTFO.

Tbh i dont even get why you are on this site in the first place. You don't seem to like anyones lyrics/ poems

FYI to the guy that said it was pop lyricas not a poem. The post is called lyrics and poems. So bit of a useless point really.

Finally just pointing out how sad you guys are for taking it so seriously.

Makes me LOL

[SomedayTheFire]

Tbh i dont even get why you are on this site in the first place. You don't seem to like anyones lyrics/ poems

FYI to the guy that said it was pop lyricas not a poem. The post is called lyrics and poems. So bit of a useless point really.

Finally just pointing out how sad you guys are for taking it so seriously.

Makes me LOL
You really are an idiot aren't you. No shit, I don't like your lyrics/poems, because I enjoy reading good poetry and lyrics, something this forum is lacking. Did you even get what I was saying? no you didn't now read up what I meant.

about the bolded bit: What the fuck are you talking about?

[gilfers]

You really are an idiot aren't you. No shit, I don't like your lyrics/poems, because I enjoy reading good poetry and lyrics, something this forum is lacking. Did you even get what I was saying? no you didn't now read up what I meant.

about the bolded bit: What the fuck are you talking about?

there you are being a jerk again.

[SomedayTheFire]

there you are being a jerk again.
What's your point? I am a jerk to idiot's.

[gilfers]

What's your point? I am a jerk to idiot's.

meh, I'm a idiot to jerks (:

[as_we_learn]

Wow, I've been around this forum for like two years. The quality of the poems and lyrics are as of lately awful. This poem is no exception. I'll give you constructive criticism and say that this very boring, trite, bland, and in now way moves a reader because of how simple and cliche it is. It is nothing more than bland teenage diary poetry, so please keep it to yourself.

P.S. Learn to take some criticism and maybe ask why it's not good. Then maybe work off your criticism and try and write something to improve.

[Who's Chris?]

No. I can be mean, if you like, but posting honest criticism is not being mean. You're young and you haven't had a lot of the classes yet that will expose you to great poetry and force you to analyze what makes it good so I've got no right to be mean to you. I will, however, be honest and tell you that what you're writing right now is not good.

Going to school doesnt make you a better poet and never will.

I'm not particularly fond of this poem that she's written but it doesnt mean she's a bad bad writer at all.

[thespearkid]

Going to school doesnt make you a better poet and never will.

I'm not particularly fond of this poem that she's written but it doesnt mean she's a bad bad writer at all.
It gives you some of the skills to make you a better poet. I'm living proof.

[Who's Chris?]

It gives you some of the skills to make you a better poet. I'm living proof.

true, going to college will help you with form, meter, rhyme, etc... but form isnt what matters in poetry. Its what you write. not how you write it or organize it.

false, your living proof. ive read your poems on this forum. sorry buddy.

[diehtc0ke]

true, going to college will help you with form, meter, rhyme, etc... but form isnt what matters in poetry. Its what you write. not how you write it or organize it.

false, your living proof. ive read your poems on this forum. sorry buddy.How is that at all true? If you have an interesting concept and a bland style, it's still a good poem?

[thespearkid]

true, going to college will help you with form, meter, rhyme, etc... but form isnt what matters in poetry. Its what you write. not how you write it or organize it.

false, your living proof. ive read your poems on this forum. sorry buddy.
Those things definitely do matter in poetry.

[YoMusicSoFat]

Constructive*
Criticism*

a) First ''constructive'' was a typo.
b) I've spelled criticism correctly on the thread before. But you got me this time. =[

[Who's Chris?]

Those things definitely do matter in poetry.

...and you know because your the expert.

[SomedayTheFire]

a) First ''constructive'' was a typo.
b) I've spelled criticism correctly on the thread before. But you got me this time. =[
Still, I HAD too hahah.

[myownillness]

This could be a Taylor Swift song.

[YoMusicSoFat]

Still, I HAD too hahah.

I would've done the same. =P
*to

[Mike Smith]

No way. Chocolate + peanuts = NO.

Haha how could you not like reeses?

I realize european chocolate is very sweet and much better than american chocolate because of what they use to make it, but damn it who could resist a reeses or snickers or something like that?! Seriously!

[YoMusicSoFat]

Haha how could you not like reeses?

I realize european chocolate is very sweet and much better than american chocolate because of what they use to make it, but damn it who could resist a reeses or snickers or something like that?! Seriously!

Just don't understand why you feel the need to shove something healthy in the chocolate. Ruins it. Plus some people are allergic to peanuts or actually have a fear of getting peanut butter stuck to their mouths... (Arachibutyrophobia).

(Sorry, I just REALLY hate peanut butter.)

[diehtc0ke]

...and you know because your the expert.
Hmm. Didn't answer my question...

[fishingthe_sky]

true, going to college will help you with form, meter, rhyme, etc... but form isnt what matters in poetry. Its what you write. not how you write it or organize it.

Wow. I've read some idiotic things when it comes to poetry, and this is up there with the best. First of all, form absolutely matters in poetry. The whole existence of poetry is based on form, as it separated it from what we now call prose. Moreover, throughout the history of poetry there as been nothing more defining to movements in poetry than form. Granted, we live in a time period where free verse is taken as a given, and your statement proves it. For someone who aspires to write poetry, form should absolutely be taken into consideration. Free verse requires just as much diligence as stricter forms, if not more. It is not an easy out, and quite frankly it allows far too many inexperienced writers to believe they are "poets." How you write and organize poetry goes hand in hand with what you write; what you write will never excuse shoddy form. Go write a sonnet and get back to us when you have a clue.

[fishingthe_sky]

How is that at all true? If you have an interesting concept and a bland style, it's still a good poem?
Don't listen to him. "Interesting concepts" will always be considered bad poetry if proper technique is not utilized, as well.

[thespearkid]

...and you know because your the expert.
You don't have to be an expert to know that poetic devices are a huge part of poetry.

[shortone1320]

wow, y'all are mean and not helpful whatsoever.

[diehtc0ke]

wow, y'all are mean and not helpful whatsoever.
Well, I wouldn't go that far... :shrug:

[Kirsty.com]

No one here hs actually gave me any advice on how to improve. Try being helpful guys :/

[lew_1987]

Try reading the responses again.

[Kirsty.com]

Try getting a life.

[lew_1987]

Try saying something insulting.

[fishingthe_sky]

No one here hs actually gave me any advice on how to improve. Try being helpful guys :/
There's only so much we can do in the realm of improvement. There's very little we can go on and say about the piece itself without basically having to re-write it for you. Go pick up a ton of poetry books, study up on poetic technique, read the lyrics of GOOD lyricists (Dustin Kensrue, John K Samson, Aaron Weiss) and practice. No one's asking you to be some prodigy writer here. What we are asking you to do is to make your pieces worth the time it takes to read them (meaning, not writing bland, lifeless, uncreative, cliched lyrics). You're young, so you haven't been writing for a long time and haven't yet been exposed to enough material to let you know where you fall short, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't challenge yourself to write better. I would not say "don't post here ever again," but please don't post anything else until you've written something that reaches beyond this.

[YoMusicSoFat]

There's only so much we can do in the realm of improvement. There's very little we can go on and say about the piece itself without basically having to re-write it for you. Go pick up a ton of poetry books, study up on poetic technique, read the lyrics of GOOD lyricists (Dustin Kensrue, John K Samson, Aaron Weiss) and practice. No one's asking you to be some prodigy writer here. What we are asking you to do is to make your pieces worth the time it takes to read them (meaning, not writing bland, lifeless, uncreative, cliched lyrics). You're young, so you haven't been writing for a long time and haven't yet been exposed to enough material to let you know where you fall short, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't challenge yourself to write better. I would not say "don't post here ever again," but please don't post anything else until you've written something that reaches beyond this.

You can't study how to write poetry. It's artistic, and being artistic is something you're born with. And I have friends who are fifteen and write beautifully and maturely and friends who are 19 and write horrifically. It has little to do with age.

[thespearkid]

You can't study how to write poetry. It's artistic, and being artistic is something you're born with. And I have friends who are fifteen and write beautifully and maturely and friends who are 19 and write horrifically. It has little to do with age.
Damn. I guess me and millions of other English majors are just wasting our time then. No one is born artistic. Art is something you have to practice and perfect just like any other craft.

[YoMusicSoFat]

Damn. I guess me and millions of other English majors are just wasting our time then. No one is born artistic. Art is something you have to practice and perfect just like any other craft.
There's that whole right-brained, left-brained thing. Right-brained people are born with an artistic flare, whereas left-brained people are more mathematical and scientific.

But of course you have to work to get it perfect.

[SomedayTheFire]

There's that whole right-brained, left-brained thing. Right-brained people are born with an artistic flare, whereas left-brained people are more mathematical and scientific.

But of course you have to work to get it perfect.
so you are saying one cannot be capable of both?

[YoMusicSoFat]

so you are saying one cannot be capable of both?

Of course you can. It's why we have both sides, duh. That's like saying just because I'm good at art it means I am incapable of counting.
There's this test with the spinning dancer and if you see it anti clockwise then you're left-brained, and if you are right-brained you can see it clockwise. It's like a proper psychological test.

But a person is ALWAYS veering more to one side than the other. It's the similar kind of introvert/extrovert argument.

[thespearkid]

There's that whole right-brained, left-brained thing. Right-brained people are born with an artistic flare, whereas left-brained people are more mathematical and scientific.

But of course you have to work to get it perfect.
So you agree your point is invalid.

[more heart]

No one here hs actually gave me any advice on how to improve. Try being helpful guys :/

Here's a tip for you:

Write better poetry(free of stupid 15 year old girl cliches) or just stop writting and GTFO!

Does that help?

[SomedayTheFire]

Of course you can. It's why we have both sides, duh. That's like saying just because I'm good at art it means I am incapable of counting.
There's this test with the spinning dancer and if you see it anti clockwise then you're left-brained, and if you are right-brained you can see it clockwise. It's like a proper psychological test.

But a person is ALWAYS veering more to one side than the other. It's the similar kind of introvert/extrovert argument.
I am well aware of that. It also does not prove that one cannot learn to write poetry properly.

[YoMusicSoFat]

So you agree your point is invalid.

It's not completely invalid, nor is it fully valid. You can learn to do anything, but being either artistic or academic is something you're born with. There's the rare person who is lucky enough to be incredibly good at everything, but most of the time it's either one or the other.

Anyway, I think my first point which went off the topic was that you can't teach yourself to be artistic.
She just shoves random cliches together. She lacks originality and the main jist of art is to be original. If you can't be original, then GTFO of the art world.

[YoMusicSoFat]

I am well aware of that. It also does not prove that one cannot learn to write poetry properly.

You can't learn to write poetry properly because it would lack originality if you learned fully from others, seeing as poetry is a free art form in which you let your feelings fly about on the page.

[SomedayTheFire]

You can't learn to write poetry properly because it would lack originality if you learned fully from others, seeing as poetry is a free art form in which you let your feelings fly about on the page.
But you can't rely on just that alone. To be a great poet one need to know how to structure it and get the best he possibly can out of it.

[fishingthe_sky]

You can't study how to write poetry. It's artistic, and being artistic is something you're born with. And I have friends who are fifteen and write beautifully and maturely and friends who are 19 and write horrifically. It has little to do with age.

You can't learn to write poetry properly because it would lack originality if you learned fully from others, seeing as poetry is a free art form in which you let your feelings fly about on the page.
Seeing as how you're still very young, I'll be as gentle as I can when I tell you that you are very wrong. Poetry is something you can learn, and any person who's serious about the art form would study it. While you DO need to have an innate sense of creativity and artistry in order to be a good "poet" (notice the quotes), there is no such thing as a legitimately good poet, or any kind of artist for that matter, who did not study the art of poetry (what I mean here is a poet who is recognized as such by the professional poetry community). You're correct in saying not everyone is born with creative capacity to be a poet, and that this innate capacity cannot be learned. You're wrong in assuming that this is all poetry is. A "poet" who neglects the academic side of poetry (studying different poets and poetic movements, as well as learning the stunning variety of poetic forms) will never become a true poet. It's quite the opposite of what you stated: you can't learn to write poetry properly without a solid knowledge-based foundation in poetry. Originality never suffers in the hands of a properly skilled poet, as they know exactly what has been done before them and in what direction they need aim their trajectory. Poetry is not this wanton "free art" you claim it to be. Simply writing your feelings on a page and breaking it up into lines does not make a poem.

[more heart]

Is she trying to defend this girl?

[thespearkid]

It's not completely invalid, nor is it fully valid. You can learn to do anything, but being either artistic or academic is something you're born with. There's the rare person who is lucky enough to be incredibly good at everything, but most of the time it's either one or the other.

Anyway, I think my first point which went off the topic was that you can't teach yourself to be artistic.
She just shoves random cliches together. She lacks originality and the main jist of art is to be original. If you can't be original, then GTFO of the art world.
You don't know what you're talking about. There are tons of people who are both artistic and academic.

[fishingthe_sky]

You don't know what you're talking about. There are tons of people who are both artistic and academic.
Haha seriously. A vast majority, in fact. It doesn't even have to be an academic. Just someone who has taken the time to learn shit about what they're doing.

[ArTkY_]

You can't study how to write poetry. It's artistic, and being artistic is something you're born with. And I have friends who are fifteen and write beautifully and maturely and friends who are 19 and write horrifically. It has little to do with age.

hahahahahaha, thank you for explaining to me that a CREATIVE WRITING DEGREE is invalid. Oh man, I've been wasting my time learning how to write poetry at a college! My bad, I didn't know you couldn't study it!

[Kirsty.com]

All of you - Grow up and STOP Beefing Each other & Mee. I think I'll stop postig my work on here, if no one apperciates it :L :D :/

[lew_1987]

There was a time when smilies made sense...

[katiebaima]

is it too late to call troll..

[Kyle Huntington]

Seeing as how you're still very young, I'll be as gentle as I can when I tell you that you are very wrong. Poetry is something you can learn, and any person who's serious about the art form would study it. While you DO need to have an innate sense of creativity and artistry in order to be a good "poet" (notice the quotes), there is no such thing as a legitimately good poet, or any kind of artist for that matter, who did not study the art of poetry (what I mean here is a poet who is recognized as such by the professional poetry community). You're correct in saying not everyone is born with creative capacity to be a poet, and that this innate capacity cannot be learned. You're wrong in assuming that this is all poetry is. A "poet" who neglects the academic side of poetry (studying different poets and poetic movements, as well as learning the stunning variety of poetic forms) will never become a true poet. It's quite the opposite of what you stated: you can't learn to write poetry properly without a solid knowledge-based foundation in poetry. Originality never suffers in the hands of a properly skilled poet, as they know exactly what has been done before them and in what direction they need aim their trajectory. Poetry is not this wanton "free art" you claim it to be. Simply writing your feelings on a page and breaking it up into lines does not make a poem.

Well said.

[Mike Smith]

I love how much controversy and arguments this thread started ;]

[Kirsty.com]

Could you read and comment my other work? There better than tis, cause this is like the FIRST song I ever wrote, and I was like 13, so that might explain why its crap. So let me know what you think of my other stuff? Thankss(:

[TBS0116]

No one here hs actually gave me any advice on how to improve. Try being helpful guys :/

listen to music, don't write just to write, write when you have collected multiple ideas on a situation, i save drafts in my phone, it does sound like a fifteen year old wrote it, duh... she's fifteen. when i started writing at sixteen my shit was the same way. at least she doesn't bottle it all up and you here about some girl in england you jumped off her house cuase "life wasn't worth it anymore"

btw check out what i posteddd

[TBS0116]

Seeing as how you're still very young, I'll be as gentle as I can when I tell you that you are very wrong. Poetry is something you can learn, and any person who's serious about the art form would study it. While you DO need to have an innate sense of creativity and artistry in order to be a good "poet" (notice the quotes), there is no such thing as a legitimately good poet, or any kind of artist for that matter, who did not study the art of poetry (what I mean here is a poet who is recognized as such by the professional poetry community). You're correct in saying not everyone is born with creative capacity to be a poet, and that this innate capacity cannot be learned. You're wrong in assuming that this is all poetry is. A "poet" who neglects the academic side of poetry (studying different poets and poetic movements, as well as learning the stunning variety of poetic forms) will never become a true poet. It's quite the opposite of what you stated: you can't learn to write poetry properly without a solid knowledge-based foundation in poetry. Originality never suffers in the hands of a properly skilled poet, as they know exactly what has been done before them and in what direction they need aim their trajectory. Poetry is not this wanton "free art" you claim it to be. Simply writing your feelings on a page and breaking it up into lines does not make a poem.

and maybe she's not fucking serious about it? who cares, shes a chick that writes about her ex or whoever and posted it on a forum, there's people on here talking about johns chicken sandwiches and subway and you're not bitching at them.

[fishingthe_sky]

and maybe she's not fucking serious about it? who cares, shes a chick that writes about her ex or whoever and posted it on a forum, there's people on here talking about johns chicken sandwiches and subway and you're not bitching at them.
Whoa dude, what's with the animosity? Are you bitching at my "bitching" because I wouldn't read your 5,000 songs in one post? Regardless, I'm not "bitching" at people writing about "johns, chicken sandwiches, and subway" (try using some commas once in a while) because they are clearly not serious. If you had been paying attention to whom I was responding to, I clearly wasn't talking to the person who posted the original piece, but rather to someone who was serious in their position, as she stated it many times over to several people. But thanks for joining us. I'm glad to know that I can be called out a week after this entire discussion dies.

[Kirsty.com]

listen to music, don't write just to write, write when you have collected multiple ideas on a situation, i save drafts in my phone, it does sound like a fifteen year old wrote it, duh... she's fifteen. when i started writing at sixteen my shit was the same way. at least she doesn't bottle it all up and you here about some girl in england you jumped off her house cuase "life wasn't worth it anymore"

btw check out what i posteddd

Thank youu. I will do.

[more heart]

I thought this died already...

[Kirsty.com]

I thought this died already...

Excuse me? I know this peice isn't my best, infact it's one of my weaker ones, but im still learning and growing. My mind and feelings are still developing and I'd apperciate it if you would just shut up with the whole 'your crap' kinda thing. Thanks.

[SeeYouSeptember]

Keep writing, I like everything you've written so far

[Kirsty.com]

Keep writing, I like everything you've written so far
Thank youu. And I am, just don't think I like posting it on here anymore :/ I used to have confidence in my writing but now I'm unsure.

[SeeYouSeptember]

The more you post, the more people see it and the more criticism you get whether it was good or bad it should help you in some way that every time you post a poem it will be better than the last

[more heart]

Excuse me? I know this peice isn't my best, infact it's one of my weaker ones, but im still learning and growing. My mind and feelings are still developing and I'd apperciate it if you would just shut up with the whole 'your crap' kinda thing. Thanks.

* in fact

I'm not saying "you're" crap, I'm saying you poetry is is crap. it's terribly cliche and painful to read. Just make your poetry a bit more mature.

[readyfredi]

Thank youu. And I am, just don't think I like posting it on here anymore :/ I used to have confidence in my writing but now I'm unsure.

If you post your going to get criticism.....deal and stop complaining.

[Kirsty.com]

How incredibly immature.

[more heart]

How incredibly immature.

Perfect correlation to your poetry.

[TBS0116]

How incredibly immature.


ha if it makes you feel better i got trashed the other night and freaked out on a guy cause of how he commented it. he wasn't that mean but i was really upset! keep writing. its good for you. doesn't matter what people think about it, cause it makes you feel better, or at least i assume so ha

[Kirsty.com]

Ok?

[The Personist]

You don't know what you're talking about. There are tons of people who are both artistic and academic.

I know it's an old post, so I'm sorry, but this statement here is absolutely true. To deny the impact education has on the craft is to deny its influence on some of poetry's finest minds.

This thread was hilarious to read, though.

[shortone1320]

Just don't care what most people on here say, if you like doing it and u like what you write then keep on writing. You definitly have some potential.

[The Personist]

Just don't care what most people on here say, if you like doing it and u like what you write then keep on writing. You definitly have some potential.

Negative feedback is more important than positive, because it tells you what you need work on. If she can't handle it, she's not a very good writer, because she just wants to be told how wonderful she is. She should look at her work and try to improve it, and maybe study the works of others to see how it's been successfully done in the past.

Just sitting down and writing without an ear for what's working and what's not is not a good way to improve one's craft.

[shortone1320]

Negative feedback is more important than positive, because it tells you what you need work on. If she can't handle it, she's not a very good writer, because she just wants to be told how wonderful she is. She should look at her work and try to improve it, and maybe study the works of others to see how it's been successfully done in the past.

Just sitting down and writing without an ear for what's working and what's not is not a good way to improve one's craft.

The prblem with most negative feedback on here is the fact that it comes from people who seem to get a kick out of being condesending to people. its hard to figure out which is actual criticism and which is just people trying to be mean, cause i do actually agree with you that negative feedback is a great way to improve you take what they say and modify what is written not completly rewrite it.

[The Personist]

The prblem with most negative feedback on here is the fact that it comes from people who seem to get a kick out of being condesending to people. its hard to figure out which is actual criticism and which is just people trying to be mean, cause i do actually agree with you that negative feedback is a great way to improve you take what they say and modify what is written not completly rewrite it.

If what is written needs to be completely rewritten, then it should be done. You can't let your ego get in the way, or your art will always suck.

[shortone1320]

im pretty sure theres been many an artist with ego problems :-)
i dont claim to to be good or even half-way decent and i try to keep my ego out of the way.

[EmzoidBooshFan]

Your friends, other 15 year olds, and your freshmen English teacher aren't good sources to know whether or not your poetry is any good. Take my advice. Whenever I post a piece here, I make it a point to ignore most of the "omg, this iz so amazing" comments because they don't mean anything. Anyone can say somethings amazing but if they can't say why it's amazing, odds are, they don't know enough about poetry to make a judgement on quality. Even the best pieces in the world can always be better so don't just ignore people who offer real criticism just because you don't like what they're saying.

This goes for all the new writers in this forum.
STOP saying harsh stuff on people's pages ffs. If you have nothing nice to say - don't say anything. Us 15 year olds don't need your HATE critism. We want nice comments cause though we can't put every emotion pouring from our hearts into the best of words we don't need you making everything we write look like crap by posting evil things on it. Everyone else thinks Kirsty's lyrics are great and when you're a professor of english i may listen to you. Until then? Your comments ARN'T welcome.

[SomedayTheFire]

STOP saying harsh stuff on people's pages ffs. If you have nothing nice to say - don't say anything. Us 15 year olds don't need your HATE critism. We want nice comments cause though we can't put every emotion pouring from our hearts into the best of words we don't need you making everything we write look like crap by posting evil things on it. Everyone else thinks Kirsty's lyrics are great and when you're a professor of english i may listen to you. Until then? Your comments ARN'T welcome.
Wrong.

[The Personist]

STOP saying harsh stuff on people's pages ffs. If you have nothing nice to say - don't say anything. Us 15 year olds don't need your HATE critism. We want nice comments cause though we can't put every emotion pouring from our hearts into the best of words we don't need you making everything we write look like crap by posting evil things on it. Everyone else thinks Kirsty's lyrics are great and when you're a professor of english i may listen to you. Until then? Your comments ARN'T welcome.

It looks like crap before anyone says anything about it. WE don't make it look bad.

Aaand the lyrics aren't great. They're cliche and predictable. They offer nothing interesting or worth thinking about.

[fishingthe_sky]

STOP saying harsh stuff on people's pages ffs. If you have nothing nice to say - don't say anything. Us 15 year olds don't need your HATE critism. We want nice comments cause though we can't put every emotion pouring from our hearts into the best of words we don't need you making everything we write look like crap by posting evil things on it. Everyone else thinks Kirsty's lyrics are great and when you're a professor of english i may listen to you. Until then? Your comments ARN'T welcome.
This isn't a place of ego-stroking. This is a place where people can have their work critiqued or complimented. It isn't "hate criticism" and nothing posted is "evil." People who post well-thought criticism are not making the things you write "look like crap"; no one has the power to make a piece of work a way that it isn't. What they are doing is giving the piece a serious look, and posting criticisms with the intent of making the writer and the work BETTER. Hearing superficial praise does nothing to improve your writing; it gives you a false sense of accomplishment, and never pushes you to do better. It's pretty easy to tell who's negative opinion you should take seriously, and who's you shouldn't.You also cannot take it personally, because it is nothing personal. Just because someone may not like your work does not mean they think you suck. Do keep in mind that this form has a wide age range, and so you are dealing with a lot of people at different experience levels, and you cannot expect more experienced members to dumb it down for the sake of you younger kids. If you want to create a place where you and all the other 15 year olds can sit there and tell each other how great you are, then start a thread devoted to that.

[livingalive626]

haha. this thread. :thumbup:

[thespearkid]

STOP saying harsh stuff on people's pages ffs. If you have nothing nice to say - don't say anything. Us 15 year olds don't need your HATE critism. We want nice comments cause though we can't put every emotion pouring from our hearts into the best of words we don't need you making everything we write look like crap by posting evil things on it. Everyone else thinks Kirsty's lyrics are great and when you're a professor of english i may listen to you. Until then? Your comments ARN'T welcome.
If you only want nice comments, read your own poems over and over again and pat yourself on the back as much as you want. You posted your work on a public forum in hopes of getting constructive feedback (if you didn't, you might want to stop posting) and we're providing it to everyone who's posting here. Again, the vast majority of the work coming from the new influx of 15 year-olds is subpar to awful and you can't expect us to sit around all day, making excuses just because you're young.

If nobody tells you you're doing it wrong, you will never get better. Enjoy being mediocre.

[fishingthe_sky]

haha. this thread. :thumbup:
Legit makes me laugh when I see it at the top.

[EmzoidBooshFan]

If you only want nice comments, read your own poems over and over again and pat yourself on the back as much as you want. You posted your work on a public forum in hopes of getting constructive feedback (if you didn't, you might want to stop posting) and we're providing it to everyone who's posting here. Again, the vast majority of the work coming from the new influx of 15 year-olds is subpar to awful and you can't expect us to sit around all day, making excuses just because you're young.

If nobody tells you you're doing it wrong, you will never get better. Enjoy being mediocre.
Ok then... how about you all STOP reading things we write then. THANKYOU. You really should go out and start a fight with someone instead of inflicting it on people, young people, on the internet. Its dissgusting. If you do want to continue posting on us 15 year olds threads... please be more tactful and avoid using emotive language to make us feel embaressed and worse about our work.
Thanks. -Sigh
Love you Kirsty!! (:

[Kyle Huntington]

Ok then... how about you all STOP reading things we write then. THANKYOU. You really should go out and start a fight with someone instead of inflicting it on people, young people, on the internet. Its dissgusting. If you do want to continue posting on us 15 year olds threads... please be more tactful and avoid using emotive language to make us feel embaressed and worse about our work.
Thanks. -Sigh
Love you Kirsty!! (:

The point of the last post or two being, it's posted on a public forum, there's no way for us to tell if it's going to be good or not, so it's read then people that want to comment on it, will. The easier option would be, if you don't want your work to have some constructive criticism (which most of it is, granted there are some just saying"it's shit" but a good few of the people on here are trying to help, but you fail to understand that) then...don't post it in the first place. As somebody said, if you want positive feedback either read over it yourself and commend yourself or create a new forum specifically for it where you won't be helped/criticised in a constructive way.

[fishingthe_sky]

The point of the last post or two being, it's posted on a public forum, there's no way for us to tell if it's going to be good or not, so it's read then people that want to comment on it, will. The easier option would be, if you don't want your work to have some constructive criticism (which most of it is, granted there are some just saying"it's shit" but a good few of the people on here are trying to help, but you fail to understand that) then...don't post it in the first place. As somebody said, if you want positive feedback either read over it yourself and commend yourself or create a new forum specifically for it where you won't be helped/criticised in a constructive way.
You just about wrote what I was going to say.

Ok then... how about you all STOP reading things we write then. THANKYOU. You really should go out and start a fight with someone instead of inflicting it on people, young people, on the internet. Its dissgusting. If you do want to continue posting on us 15 year olds threads... please be more tactful and avoid using emotive language to make us feel embaressed and worse about our work.
Thanks. -Sigh
Love you Kirsty!! (:
Two things wrong with this: one, nobody you're talking to here is picking a fight. What do we have to fight about here? No one insulted you or her or any other 15 year old on this site. Also, none of the criticism given used emotive language. If anything, you're the most emotive one here. What I don't understand is why you're so adamant on picking this battle? None of the other 15 year olds have gone to these lengths, and they have received more criticism than you.

[YoMusicSoFat]

Ok then... how about you all STOP reading things we write then. THANKYOU. You really should go out and start a fight with someone instead of inflicting it on people, young people, on the internet. Its dissgusting. If you do want to continue posting on us 15 year olds threads... please be more tactful and avoid using emotive language to make us feel embaressed and worse about our work.
Thanks. -Sigh
Love you Kirsty!! (:

OK* then...
*Thank You
* disgusting
*15 year olds' threads, please be...
*embarrassed

God you make all 15 year olds look so idiotic, immature and ridiculously shit at grammar. Get some real education before you start acting like a spokesperson for 15 year olds everywhere. 15 year olds should be able to take it on the chin if they're shit at something, we're old enough to do so.

Thank you (see - two words) and goodbye. (One word, I thought you should know).

[thespearkid]

Ok then... how about you all STOP reading things we write then. THANKYOU. You really should go out and start a fight with someone instead of inflicting it on people, young people, on the internet. Its dissgusting. If you do want to continue posting on us 15 year olds threads... please be more tactful and avoid using emotive language to make us feel embaressed and worse about our work.
Thanks. -Sigh
Love you Kirsty!! (:
This forum is about posting poetry, having people read it, then getting feedback. I don't understand how any can get mad when someone does not like their work. No one here is picking a fight with anyone, in fact, the only time arguments ever happen on this forum is when the younger writers start bitching about getting negative feedback. No one is trying to embarrass anyone else here but negative criticism is going to happen to every single writer in this forum. Take it and use it to improve.

[Meenaghey Aym]

hey hey hey can we just drop this shit?? none of you can stifle another's opinion. kids will be kids and adults have been through too much to waste time beatin around bushes. kids may not understand the depth of a critique or the bluntness and therefore will be oversensative and rejecting of it. And adults hav been thru everything that kids hav so its not a big deal to them anymore and therefore life experience has taught them to be more blunt. if you wont welcome ALL criticism then either dont post or ignore it. and if your criticism isnt accepted then shame on them for not trying to better themselves.... :shrug:

[Meenaghey Aym]

This forum is about posting poetry, having people read it, then getting feedback. I don't understand how any can get mad when someone does not like their work. No one here is picking a fight with anyone, in fact, the only time arguments ever happen on this forum is when the younger writers start bitching about getting negative feedback. No one is trying to embarrass anyone else here but negative criticism is going to happen to ever single writer in this forum. Take it and use it to improve.


young ppl PLEASE read that one carefully! he is 100% right! dont argue with it, take it into account!

[Kirsty.com]

tbh, i dont care . lol. i dont actually think this one is that good. read my others?

[The Personist]

tbh, i dont care . lol. i dont actually think this one is that good. read my others?

Then why the hell did you take it so personally when people didn't like it?

And if you don't think it's that good, why post it for feedback? Seems counterintuitive...

[Kirsty.com]

free world. do one.
i dont want to talk to you(:

[eliselovesmusic]

young ppl PLEASE read that one carefully! he is 100% right! dont argue with it, take it into account!


I do agree with thespearkid - personally I love critical feedback because I'm always trying to improve and I have found that the older people on here often offer some great critique.

BUT: I have to stick up for the youth of this world. Just because some 15year olds use the fact that their from England as a way of boosting their inferiority complex when someone gives them honest (not to mention good) critique and they don't know how to deal with it when someone's not crawling after them with adoration, doesn't mean that all young people are like that. Alot of us want to learn and haven't got out heads shoved too far up our own arses to see the light.

Damn I'm harsh. Sorry...