Angels Wept (For Vanity and Lust)

[Jabble524]

Angels Wept (For Vanity and Lust)


A carnal pilgrimage
To the kingdom of pleasure
Where morals disappear
Beneath vanity and lust

Jade green eyes
And serpent like thighs
Pulling me in-
Deeper and deeper
Pulling me down-
Into the flames

Angels cry in sorrow-
As our souls descend to the second level
Among demons and lost souls
We make love

Angels shed tears-
For those lost to sins of the flesh
Angels shed tears-
For those condemned, for crawling from bed to bed
For slithering from lover to lover

Angels wept-
But in the passion of your kiss
I’ve realized that devils are more fun

[Kirsty.com]

I really like that. Well Donee.

[Jabble524]

Thanks for the kind words. I appreciate it.

[Jabble524]

Also Kirsty, never stop writing, no matter what anyone on these threads, or anywhere else might say. Your writing is good.

[fishingthe_sky]

The overall metaphoric conceit here is obvious, overstated, bland, and pretty trite.

[Kirsty.com]

Also Kirsty, never stop writing, no matter what anyone on these threads, or anywhere else might say. Your writing is good.
Omg, thank you. That means alot(:

[thespearkid]

Also Kirsty, never stop writing, no matter what anyone on these threads, or anywhere else might say. Your writing is good.
It's people like you who are assuring that she'll never get any better.

[Meenaghey Aym]

hmmm fairly decent wok here. I like the presentation. Maybe not the conclusion but thats just personal opinion. As far as your work, very good if at all a little repititious

[Jabble524]

Thanks for the feedback.