Holey Soles - not done

[beau blood rush]

Always riding shotgun in your head
Or send me to the back to kick the seats instead
(Ba-ba-ba-ba) bedridden in the best way
Body-clocks on snooze again

We’re always in both kinds of stitches
Sometimes i have trouble figuring out which
I’m a tearjerker through and through
Learned to take em best from you

Sing
“I’m a believer”
(well kind of i’m only a toe or two in)
I’m a believer
Signed “half-way there to wherever and back again”
“I’m a believer”
(well kind of i’m only a toe or two in)
I’m a believer
Signed “half-way there to wherever and back again”

Some of us wanna be superstars
No no not me i’m more a supernova
Only to take a few of em’ down with me

Just once i need to turn the world off to see how bright we glow

Sing
“I’m a believer”
(well kind of i’m only a toe or two in)
I’m a believer
Signed “half-way there to wherever and back again”
“I’m a believer”
(well kind of i’m only a toe or two in)
I’m a believer
Signed “half-way there to wherever and back again”

remember when “pop” was more than a prefix?
i don’t, i was probably busy writing this
holey soles won’t let me walk on water
so i’ll walk a red carpet instead

Sing
“I’m a believer”
(well kind of i’m only a toe or two in)
I’m a believer
Signed “half-way there to wherever and back again”
“I’m a believer”
(well kind of i’m only a toe or two in)
I’m a believer
Signed “half-way there to wherever and back again”

[eliselovesmusic]

Always riding shotgun in your head
Or send me to the back to kick the seats instead

I like these lines... Always being treated like second most important after your gf or whoever this is about right? and then you'll get totally ignored and just sit there packing a tantrum coz that's the only thing you can do? That's what I think of anyway... It could possibly mean you want attention for i dunno your music or something but it's so damn hard to get it!

(Ba-ba-ba-ba) bedridden in the best way
Body-clocks on snooze again

Raunchy haha

We’re always in both kinds of stitches
Sometimes i have trouble figuring out which

As in laughing in stitches and hospital stitches right? Adding the line "Sometimes I can't figure out which" was a good move...

I’m a tearjerker through and through
Learned to take em best from you

Hmm don't really know what to say bout this....

Sing
“I’m a believer”
(well kind of i’m only a toe or two in)

This is cool. I like the "well kind of" after a line like "i'm a believer" which you would take to be said with conviction.

I’m a believer
Signed “half-way there to wherever and back again”

This is another good line. It reminds me of someone going through rehab and relapsing....

Some of us wanna be superstars
No no not me i’m more a supernova
Only to take a few of em’ down with me

I like it. Saying that celebrities cause worse collateral damage than a freaking star exploding is er bold to say the least... And totally true in witty kind of way. Just saying "a star exploding" in general could mean a celebrity or and actual star in the sky - Imagine if Britney exploded - the whole world would be revelling in her disaster........................... ... *note to self - write song about Britney Spears exploding hehehe*

Just once i need to turn the world off to see how bright we glow

That's a nice line. Like everyone else is kind of over powering you but you know you've got something going on... It's just hard to get the spotlight when everyone else wants it too. Does this line link back to the first line?

remember when “pop” was more than a prefix?
i don’t, i was probably busy writing this

"pop" as in 'popular' or 'pop culture' or 'pop music'? You're writing hard out like 24/7 aren't ya haha I know that feeling

holey soles won’t let me walk on water
so i’ll walk a red carpet instead

The "holey soles'' is clever dude! Considered saying "these holey soles..."?

The "red carpet" seals the deal. The song's about you and your band wanting to 'get big' right? I like it how you linked sinking in water or whatever to the glamorous red carpet. The way you say "i'll walk the red carpet' in such a blaz'e kind of way is godd coz it shows your not being arrogant.



Overall I like it. Sorry I can't give some real constructive-critisicm on how to improve it or whatever but yeah in all honesty it's pretty good.

[stendhal]

I scrolled over the title to see if it was worth opening up. Within a few lines I knew it was you're writing. Ya got style, kid... I dig it.

Oh, and about the piece: Dug it too. Could use some revision, but it looks as if you know that.

[livingalive626]

all i can say is hell ya

[beau blood rush]

yeah thank man, i have been working on revising it
I'm really glad that people are starting to get me a bit i really appreciate it a lot.
and elise you hit a lot of those meanings on the head.
everything but the pop as a prefix bit i'll leave that for someone else to work out

just want to say i really love the styles that people post up here, but i'm so glad that some people look outside of the more traditional and enjoy the more contemporary

[livingalive626]

what style of music are you shooting for here though?

[beau blood rush]

i'd probably call it pop-rock, hence the irony in the bridge

[eliselovesmusic]

just want to say i really love the styles that people post up here, but i'm so glad that some people look outside of the more traditional and enjoy the more contemporary


Agreed 10000000000000000000000000000000000 0000%