Olive Eyes (A Doo Wop Song)

[lackofcolour 13]

I posted this in the general thread before I knew of this threads existence. Not sure if it will get more response here or not...

Olive Eyes

Transitor Radios and Black and White,
Your face unto him shed one beacon of light.
The whole school could tell that it was love at first sight,
It was his reason to live, those Olive Eyes.


You’d drive the car to the peak,
Where all the lovers would meet,
But it was something you two would transcend.
What is public brings heartache,
But young hearts would mend.
Like a shelter when you would dance in the rain,
He would always keep safe those Olive Eyes.


But you foolish girl, you didn’t know your own worth,
Not towards yourself nor towards him,
Urges clouded your sense and left you defenseless,
That beacon dimmed from those Olive Eyes.


After trying to find you on that one last night,
He wagered his life for you in his twilight,
By Road, by Sea, by air, he gave it all his might.
Nothing could keep him from those Olive Eyes.


And with a clashing of barrels,
He fell at your feet.
He would have cried for help,
But he could not speak.
You held him close as the alarms grew near,
But what had already happened, was what you always had feared.
It was his last sight, those Olive Eyes
It was what kept him alive, those Olive Eyes.
He will see them again, your Olive Eyes.



***Any campiness is purely intentional.

[para ser libre]

I posted this in the general thread before I knew of this threads existence. Not sure if it will get more response here or not...

Olive Eyes

Transitor Radios and Black and White,
Your face unto him shed one beacon of light.
The whole school could tell that it was love at first sight,
It was his reason to live, those Olive Eyes.


You’d drive the car to the peak,
Where all the lovers would meet,
But it was something you two would transcend.
What is public brings heartache,
But young hearts would mend.
Like a shelter when you would dance in the rain,
He would always keep safe those Olive Eyes.


But you foolish girl, you didn’t know your own worth,
Not towards yourself nor towards him, (anyone else instead of him)
Urges clouded your sense and left you defenseless,
That beacon dimmed from those Olive Eyes.


After trying to find you on that one last night,
He wagered his life for you in his twilight,
By Road, by Sea, by air, he gave it all his might.
Nothing could keep him from those Olive Eyes.


And with a clashing of barrels,
He fell at your feet. these three lines
He would have cried for help, are good
But he could not speak. didnt see hwere barrels tied in
You held him close as the alarms grew near,
But what had already happened, was what you always had feared.
It was his last sight, those Olive Eyes
It was what kept him alive, those Olive Eyes.
He will see them again, your Olive Eyes.



***Any campiness is purely intentional.


went forma high school lvoe to a pow escaping a nazi camp love story lol

[lackofcolour 13]

I was kind of going to a guy killing himself in his cheating girlfriend's arms, but there's that too, I guess.

[lovely864md]

sad.

liked it though.

[de la sympathie]

i really liked this. the beginning (i intend this as a compliment but it may not come out that way) actually sounded like something death cab would write. gj

[lackofcolour 13]

yeah. The open line is kind of "Technicolor Girls." I was trying to think of a better nostalgic description than Transistor radios, but nothing sounded as good. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

[ArTkY_]

It's not bad, could use some work.

[lackofcolour 13]

It's not bad, could use some work.
Everything I have ever written can. One of these days, I plan on re-writing every song I have, because everything I make has holes in it.

[ArTkY_]

Everything I have ever written can. One of these days, I plan on re-writing every song I have, because everything I make has holes in it.
haha, I always rewrite my songs like 4 times before I dare to post them anywhere.