The pit

[Bleedingthorne1]

i stare deep into your eyes black and deep like my endless pit of devastation and frustration. I fall deep into your eyes not knowing that you had alreayd set me free.I reach for you yearning for the feel of being held. I fall deep waiting for the floor of relization to hit me. Nothing to grab nothing to hold onto. I'm hurting so bad i can't even feel the pain anymore.I fall deep into the pit of devastation.frustration and relization. I am to far from your reach now but to close for the wounds to have healed. I stare into your eyes which have grown dark like the pit i have been left in.

[punkpixie]

Get the Hell of my internet. Shouldn't you be in a pit anyhow?

[Jason Tate]

Get the Hell of my internet. Shouldn't you be in a pit anyhow?
So loving and welcome around here.

[punkpixie]

So loving and welcome around here.
haha seriously Jason, spend some time in here and you'll know what we have to put up with. It's tragic.

[de la sympathie]

i think you should be buried in a pit. alive. with rosie odonnell on top of you. naked.

that's just my opinion.

[Bleedingthorne1]

this is how i write like it or hate i dont really care.....and if u look at my profile u would now tht im not gay or bi

[punkpixie]

this is how i write like it or hate i dont really care.....and if u look at my profile u would now tht im not gay or bi
ahahahahahaha. I think your sarcasm detector is broken.

[Bleedingthorne1]

wht the hell r u talking about im not try to be sarcastic

[Goober Snacks]

wht the hell r u talking about im not try to be sarcasticDont bother with them bro,they will just keep coming....

[de la sympathie]

Dont bother with them bro,they will just keep coming....
THIS KID (goober snacks) is another one of those people who posts shitty poetry. Don't listen to him. We'll only hassle you till you leave.

[Bleedingthorne1]

im sure his poetry is good and i dont know why ur trying cause its not going to work

[nateisawesome]

this is how i write like it or hate i dont really care.....and if u look at my profile u would now tht im not gay or bi
Well I looked at the profile alright and I must say that you have the most God awful music taste EVER.

[ActorInThisPlay]

with Niki FM as her first favorite song, could you really expect anything more?

[Bleedingthorne1]

its not my favortie its one of them u damn idiot.........besides what should i b listening too?

[preppyak]

with Niki FM as her first favorite song, could you really expect anything more?
I'm outside of your window, with my radio

God that music video had potential then sucked

As for the poem, I'd suggest line breaks and a little more consistent a form. Unless its written in narrative form, which this isn't particularly, having it as one flowing paragraph only causes clutter. Also, try to stick with proper english form, like punctuation and capitalizing. It didn't seem like the lack of them helped the poem at all.

[xgloryxfadesx27]

its not my favortie its one of them u damn idiot.........besides what should i b listening too?
Please go to the Recommendation thread. Now. Oh, and throw out your Hawthorne Heights cd on the way there.

[ArTkY_]

Get the Hell of my internet. Shouldn't you be in a pit anyhow?
Zing!

[Anton Djamoos]

with Niki FM as her first favorite song, could you really expect anything more?
With the Fall Out Boy icon next to this poem, could you really expect anything good to come from it?

[punkpixie]

Zing!
haha.

[nateisawesome]

With the Fall Out Boy icon next to this poem, could you really expect anything good to come from it?
Could not have said it any better

[de la sympathie]

im sure his poetry is good and i dont know why ur trying cause its not going to work
you know what, you're probably one of those kids who can't stop arguing because you think you're always right. but you're wrong. and being gay or bi has nothing to do with it. infact, you just suck major penis all around. so why don't you crawl in "THE PIT" with that other shit-writing kid and stay there. k? thx.

[Bleedingthorne1]

nice i ve never sux dick so sorry about tht and i dont think im right about everything i have my opinions like everyone else some disagree some dont oh and im not no kid either

[de la sympathie]

nice i ve never sux dick so sorry about tht and i dont think im right about everything i have my opinions like everyone else some disagree some dont oh and im not no kid eitherif you're not eleven, then why do you write like you are? how old ARE you, exactly? in either case, you've been wrong about everything you said. did you come in here and think you would be cool and welcomed? well, newsflash - we don't like noobs. infact ap is not a generally welcoming place. and i don't feel like welcoming you. so stfu. k? thx.

pee ess - alsot, you cannot "never sux dick", as you so eloquently put it. fix your shitty grammar or don't type at all.

EDIT: ohhhh my god. you're EIGHTEEN and you STILL write like this?!

[Apollo II]

18 :shake: . Read my stuff and be ashamed. Im only 14 :)

[Bleedingthorne1]

ummmm yeah i dont care about ur welcoming if thts wht u mean u dont run this place what do u think ur the bully? oh well have fun with it. And i havent been wrong about anything u just dont agree with it.

[de la sympathie]

ummmm yeah i dont care about ur welcoming if thts wht u mean u dont run this place what do u think ur the bully? oh well have fun with it. And i havent been wrong about anything u just dont agree with it.
i never said i ws a bully. i just said your stuff is bullshit.

PLUS, if you haven't been wrong so far, how come nobody agrees with you? you think you're right, but nobody else does. so that would mean that essentially makes your, um, WRONG.

18 :shake: . Read my stuff and be ashamed. Im only 14 :)
Yeah, seems sad to me as well. She's 18, we're 14, and her writing is like an eleven year old. I don't believe she's eighteen. I don't remember what I said about your stuff, but okay.

[Bleedingthorne1]

it doesnt matter to me what people think i mean if they dont like it then thts cool i juts have to work on my stuff . And i really am 18 it doesnt matter who believes me.... and of course im not wrong. How can a poem be wrong???? Anyway u can keep typing stuff to me but im not going to say nething this whole "conversation" has been a waste of time. i know ur going to type sumtin back but it doesnt matter any more so say what u want it doesnt bother me i think its funny. So go ahead.....

so someone give me some advice about writing

[punkpixie]

so someone give me some advice about writing
Umm........ stop doing it?

[A picasso blue]

i love how the personal interest section reads "beating up conformists"


oh and by the way, i'm adding this to my forthcoming collection of shitty poetry

[Bleedingthorne1]

thanx about the interest thing its true lol not so sure about the rest but ill try to make it better its not really one of my best

[wastedspacejm]

i love how the personal interest section reads "beating up conformists"


oh and by the way, i'm adding this to my forthcoming collection of shitty poetry
No, "beating up conformist." She's actually only beating up one, not all of them.

[Bleedingthorne1]

one at a time lol

[FstFtsVsFences]

Hey I just got off the phone with God and He says He hates you. :thumbsup:

[A picasso blue]

Hey I just got off the phone with God and He says He hates you. :thumbsup:
and i'm talking to Santa Claus right now on Line 1. he's in Hell