de la sympathie
10/22/05, 09:01 AM
Alright. The first one (southern gentlemen) is something i had to write for a project on The Outsiders for my English class. The second one (stitches and fingerprints) is just something i wrote randomly. Feedback much appreciated!
-------
southern gentlemen (the outsiders)
-------
'don't try to decide which one died gallant.
don't remember.'
--Ponyboy Curtis, The Outsiders
-------
well good guys die all the time
so if you're up with a knife or down with a gun
then it really doesn't matter which side you're on.
i guess this is what it's like to lose -
another fight, a side to choose
a tender GOLDEN moment poured under gallons of booze.
he was some kind of hybrid brother/lover
in streetlights at midnight, from first light to fistfights
and the truth is in front of me (they CAN'T be DEAD!)
staring, just staring, with ignorant eyes, some blatant white lies
while another boy screams and another one dies.
--
(and i wonder what they'd call me? some kind of
"southern gentleman"? the tuff kind of guy who could
make a lover out of the socy-est girl?
would they put me on a pedestal?
would they count me among heroes?
could i be your Southern-style gentleman?)
--
well all those old-time movies lie
because through the fuzzy screen, there's a boy with tired eyes
there's the toughest group of guys
you'll ever meet.
and all those Southern gents with the velvet smiles
can't mean a thing but deceit and fake, extra-actor type of wiles
and for all those times i said i wanted to erase it
i don't think i ever could have truthfully meant it
because in this city of eye-for-an-eye-until-everyone's-blind
we've got the TRUE heroic kind
--
and i'll be your quick-draw cowboy, your
Southern Gentleman
if it'd mean i could be any kind of okay again
------
------
stitches and fingerprints
--
[[don't become me
my
h.e.a.r.t
doesn't fit you]]
--
overworked and underpaid and really that's all that matters is "minimum wage"
keeping enough brain cells to sustain herself
enough alcohol to drown yourself
and her life is full of fake friends and makeup
i might have felt bad if it weren't for the sake of your mouth
and the teeth that keep all those gray/blue words from coming out
she covers up those blatant lies with concealer
while the other believes that only alcohol and pills can cure her
but i'll try my best if you work your hardest
we called out your name in the audience but i don't remember if i heard it
we waved to you but i don't remember if i felt it
i love you but i don't remember if you'd seen it
i've got a bright red mark that says 11:11 because
stopping the time is the only thing that matters
and
it's the only thing i can remember
i wish you could be everything i never could // talk and the friendship dies
--
[[don't become me
my
he.ar.t
doesn't fit you]]
--
keeping tabs as a lovely treason
all that pointless conversation making bullet holes in your eardrums...
you used to say you
HATED
that sound but now it seems like you can't get enough
makes it sound like you aren't really giving up
makes it sound like i love your hands
makes it sound like i hate your handwriting
what a sound! you said you used to say once upon a time:
"you're a fool! all these ideals will get you killed
and though your apathy may save lives
i didn't ask you to save mine
because i never wanted to be saved
you fool! love is but what i have for you"
i was a fool for you and so i believed all your words were truth
but you always kept your heart protected in the circle of your arms
and so maybe i figured you were okay
--
[[DON'T BECOME ME
my
hea.r.t
doesn't fit you]]
--
i say all the right words at all the wrong times
i won't pull you down from that cloud where you're standing
but it's just going to burst and it's just going to hurt worse
when she finally sees the understanding
she'll get what you've been saying this whole time
and know her life was only a lie
and move away
and what will you have? you've pushed everyone away
so you could say the things you wanted to say
and all you've got is those memories to keep you warm
when you're home alone and you're getting bored
and all those letters that were never enough
i wasted all my time just trying to be loved
but now it's (over?). we're (through?). our monsters are done chasing you and you and you
(and her)
but don't take my words they're the only things i have
--
[[you became me
and my skin fits you perfectly]]
--
and all this time i wasn't trying to make you laugh out loud
i was trying to make you come back
---
Alright. So. Flame me, leave some input, whatever. Southern Gentlemen is the one I need the most input on, because I don't want to turn it in and then fail. Any comments are appreciated, however.
EDIT: the format I had for this is all fucked up, so please excuse the gaping holes in the lines. (I'm not trying to be scene or anything by leaving those huge spaces in between everything, it just got messed up.) Thank you.
-------
southern gentlemen (the outsiders)
-------
'don't try to decide which one died gallant.
don't remember.'
--Ponyboy Curtis, The Outsiders
-------
well good guys die all the time
so if you're up with a knife or down with a gun
then it really doesn't matter which side you're on.
i guess this is what it's like to lose -
another fight, a side to choose
a tender GOLDEN moment poured under gallons of booze.
he was some kind of hybrid brother/lover
in streetlights at midnight, from first light to fistfights
and the truth is in front of me (they CAN'T be DEAD!)
staring, just staring, with ignorant eyes, some blatant white lies
while another boy screams and another one dies.
--
(and i wonder what they'd call me? some kind of
"southern gentleman"? the tuff kind of guy who could
make a lover out of the socy-est girl?
would they put me on a pedestal?
would they count me among heroes?
could i be your Southern-style gentleman?)
--
well all those old-time movies lie
because through the fuzzy screen, there's a boy with tired eyes
there's the toughest group of guys
you'll ever meet.
and all those Southern gents with the velvet smiles
can't mean a thing but deceit and fake, extra-actor type of wiles
and for all those times i said i wanted to erase it
i don't think i ever could have truthfully meant it
because in this city of eye-for-an-eye-until-everyone's-blind
we've got the TRUE heroic kind
--
and i'll be your quick-draw cowboy, your
Southern Gentleman
if it'd mean i could be any kind of okay again
------
------
stitches and fingerprints
--
[[don't become me
my
h.e.a.r.t
doesn't fit you]]
--
overworked and underpaid and really that's all that matters is "minimum wage"
keeping enough brain cells to sustain herself
enough alcohol to drown yourself
and her life is full of fake friends and makeup
i might have felt bad if it weren't for the sake of your mouth
and the teeth that keep all those gray/blue words from coming out
she covers up those blatant lies with concealer
while the other believes that only alcohol and pills can cure her
but i'll try my best if you work your hardest
we called out your name in the audience but i don't remember if i heard it
we waved to you but i don't remember if i felt it
i love you but i don't remember if you'd seen it
i've got a bright red mark that says 11:11 because
stopping the time is the only thing that matters
and
it's the only thing i can remember
i wish you could be everything i never could // talk and the friendship dies
--
[[don't become me
my
he.ar.t
doesn't fit you]]
--
keeping tabs as a lovely treason
all that pointless conversation making bullet holes in your eardrums...
you used to say you
HATED
that sound but now it seems like you can't get enough
makes it sound like you aren't really giving up
makes it sound like i love your hands
makes it sound like i hate your handwriting
what a sound! you said you used to say once upon a time:
"you're a fool! all these ideals will get you killed
and though your apathy may save lives
i didn't ask you to save mine
because i never wanted to be saved
you fool! love is but what i have for you"
i was a fool for you and so i believed all your words were truth
but you always kept your heart protected in the circle of your arms
and so maybe i figured you were okay
--
[[DON'T BECOME ME
my
hea.r.t
doesn't fit you]]
--
i say all the right words at all the wrong times
i won't pull you down from that cloud where you're standing
but it's just going to burst and it's just going to hurt worse
when she finally sees the understanding
she'll get what you've been saying this whole time
and know her life was only a lie
and move away
and what will you have? you've pushed everyone away
so you could say the things you wanted to say
and all you've got is those memories to keep you warm
when you're home alone and you're getting bored
and all those letters that were never enough
i wasted all my time just trying to be loved
but now it's (over?). we're (through?). our monsters are done chasing you and you and you
(and her)
but don't take my words they're the only things i have
--
[[you became me
and my skin fits you perfectly]]
--
and all this time i wasn't trying to make you laugh out loud
i was trying to make you come back
---
Alright. So. Flame me, leave some input, whatever. Southern Gentlemen is the one I need the most input on, because I don't want to turn it in and then fail. Any comments are appreciated, however.
EDIT: the format I had for this is all fucked up, so please excuse the gaping holes in the lines. (I'm not trying to be scene or anything by leaving those huge spaces in between everything, it just got messed up.) Thank you.