Cursive - Mama, I'm Swollen

[Travis Parno]

Cursive – Mama, I’m Swollen
Record Label: Saddle Creek
Release Date: March 10, 2009

INT – Blake’s Dorm Room

Typical college dorm room. Worn wooden desk, florescent lighting, dead guy (CHARLIE) slouched on a green beanbag chair. Smells faintly of Cheetos. Enter BLAKE and TRAVIS. TRAVIS falls facedown on BLAKE’s bunk bed, sighing heavily.

BLAKE: Dude, what’s the matter? That waitress was totally going to put two scoops in your milkshake!

TRAVIS: It’s just, why do I even want two scoops?

BLAKE: (aside) Uh oh, a new Cursive album just came out. (to TRAVIS) Ok, I’ll bite, what’s wrong with your milkshake?

TRAVIS: Enough about milkshakes! They only melt into brown, soupy puddles of failure.

BLAKE: So I take it Tim Kasher didn’t write a happy record?

TRAVIS: It’s not about happy or sad. It’s about doing something worthwhile, lasting. It’s about inventing, not simply using or discarding.

BLAKE: Ok, so did Kasher invent a happ-

TRAVIS: I mean, even he can’t invent! He admits it up and down Mama, I’m Swollen. And Christ, if he can’t, then where does that leave me?

TRAVIS wails something indecipherable into the pillow. BLAKE looks at CHARLIE and shrugs.

BLAKE: He can’t invent, he is inventing. It’s self-referential and relatable. But still you can’t let it ruin your day.

TRAVIS: What’s ruining my day is the dead guy sitting in your beanbag chair.

BLAKE: Who, Charlie? Don’t mind him. And anyway, if you wanna take your cues from anything, just look at the fantastic title track. We’re all born under the same blood red sun, right?

TRAVIS: There’s just so much conflict! I could love you, I couldn’t love you-

BLAKE: (aside) Yeah, we haven’t heard that before...

TRAVIS: And as if Kasher’s creepy singing wasn’t enough to cause an existential crisis, the instrumentation surely is. Just look at the light picking and lullaby chimes in “Donkeys.” It’s enough to make you question everything!

BLAKE: And that saxophone, too. You won’t even miss The Ugly Organ's strings.

BLAKE and TRAVIS: The Ugly Organ!

Both look off into the distance and sigh in unison.

BLAKE: This is clearly not that band anymore…

TRAVIS: Why are you doing the Captain Morgan stance?

BLAKE: Sorry, got excited. (pause) I still say you’re over-reacting. “I Couldn’t Love You” is so blatant, so un-Kasher. And don’t get me started on the depressed disco of “Let Me Up.” Those two can’t possibly elicit any reaction other than distain.

TRAVIS: But, good Lord, what about “From the Hips”? I mean, “We’re at our best when it’s from our hips/ From our hips we don’t give a shit”? It’s so true! I mean, I haven’t had my number called in like, 3 months-

BLAKE looks skeptical.

BLAKE: With that body? Come on!

TRAVIS: Ok, fine, 15 months. But still, it’s so true! We’re all just animals, living and dying for the physical.

BLAKE: That’s the Kasher we want. So why is he still making songs like “I Couldn’t Love You”? Too much creative control? The old, fat guitarist is literally deaf now?

TRAVIS: I certainly doubt it. Did you hear his slick riffs in “Mama, I’m Satan”? Although it was really the horns that set my ears on fire. They just kept screaming, “All in all, we’re pawns/ The ego of mankind stirs in us all”!

BLAKE: There’s certainly enough ego here to go around. “Look at me, I have problems, someone call the Wah-bulence. Wahhhh, wahhhh, wahhhh.”

TRAVIS: You’ve clearly not heard “What Have I Done.”

BLAKE: No, not yet. Put it on.

Six minutes later.

BLAKE: Um, can I have a minute?

TRAVIS: Let it out, no judgments here.

BLAKE: It’s just (sniffle) how can he keep writing about the same things without slipping into redundancy? How can he still swoop me into his bleak despair?

TRAVIS: But isn’t that why you listen to a Cursive record in the first place?

Both collapse into a fit of sobs.

CHARLIE: You guys are so lame.

BLAKE and TRAVIS: AHHHHH!!!!

End scene.

1. In The Now
2. From The Hips
3. I Couldn’t Love You
4. Donkeys
5. Caveman
6. We’re Going To Hell
7. Mama, I’m Satan
8. Let Me Up
9. Mama, I’m Swollen
10. What Have I Done?
Murder by Death; The Good Life; The Hold Steady
Official Myspace (http://www.myspace.com/cursive) | Official Website (http://www.cursivearmy.com/)

[Travis Parno]

This review was a collaboration between Blake Solomon and myself. The scores represent an average of our individual scores. Mine are as follows:

Vocals: 8
Musicianship: 8.25
Lyrics: 8.5
Production: 8
Creativity: 7.25
Lasting Value: 8
Reviewer Tilt: 7.75
Average: 80

Blake's scores:

Vocals: 7
Musicianship: 7.25
Lyrics: 8.75
Production: 8
Creativity: 6.25
Lasting Value: 7
Reviewer Tilt: 7
Average: 73

[Greg.Kushlan]

I hate reviews written like that. I stopped reading it after a couple sentences, and decided that you were way off on this review.

[Uwe Blab]

I loved this review. Can't really get into the album past the first couple tracks though.

[zubinmoosa]

That's different... it works though.

[Adrian Villagomez]

This reminds me of the ridiculous skits I wrote in my theater class. Fond memories.

[Mirrorsandfevers]

I totally agree. Poor Charlie though.

[Broclee]

Ha, enjoyed it. Really good review, and a great album.

[blooshoo]

nice review. the album has kinda been boring me so far.

[Praetor]

LAKE: And that saxophone, too. You won’t even miss The Ugly Organ’s strings.

BLAKE and TRAVIS: The Ugly Organ!

Both look off into the distance and sigh in unison.

BLAKE: This is clearly not that band anymore…

TRAVIS: Why are you doing the Captain Morgan stance?

BLAKE: Sorry, got excited.
TRAVIS: But, good Lord, what about “From the Hips”? I mean, “We’re at our best when it’s from our hips/ From our hips we don’t give a shit”? It’s so true! I mean, I haven’t had my number called in like, 3 months-

BLAKE looks skeptical.

BLAKE: With that body? Come on!

:lol: :lol: One of the best reviews I've ever read. Beautiful job, you guys.

[ReadyForAction]

Color me blown away

[zombie!pirate!]

I hate reviews written like that. I stopped reading it after a couple sentences, and decided that you were way off on this review.
how about being constructive and offering A reason why those reviews don't work for you instead of ripping into these guys?

entertaining review guys, my only adjustment would be a little more of an explaination of the low ranking, as from the dialogue it seems that this record is earth shattering haha

[zFrog]

Loving this record, review is.. different

[j4callen]

If the whole album was more like "In The Now." It'd be my favorite release of the year so far quite easily. Instead, I would give it like 60% maybe.

[Exit Reuben]

That was awesome.

[GoodTimes]

was this "review" done by a couple 12 year olds? simply horrible

[vakuola]

now that's a review

[Slaur]

I thought this was pretty stupid.

[OKComputer1016]

i'm very into the idea of tag-team type reviews, a multi-imput kinda thing

[Blake Solomon]

i'm very into the idea of tag-team type reviews, a multi-imput kinda thing

I meant to tell you about this yesterday. Doing this was a lot of fun. Reviewing can get lonely as you know, so this was a nice change of technique

[Heroin Robot]

Hah sweet

[inyoursea]

Interesting review, definitely different from what's usually seen around here. Enjoyed it, as well as the album.

[racecar]

This isn't a good review. Because well, you're not really reviewing anything. Merely talking to each other about things that aren't normally funny in pg-13 buddy comedies and definitely not funny when read in script form here. "friend who smells like cheetos" "captain morgan" "milk shakes". Great. Now, can we get a review of the record. That would be nice.

[bummerama]

I have read more weird and indirect reviews for this record than I have for any other I've seen. For some reason, there is a common and inappropriate nostalgia for The Ugly Organ, which is a great record, but after listening to the tour de force that is the now four years old Happy Hollow, anybody could see that we would not get the same Cursive record again. If only they were more prolific, there wouldn't be this problem of intense expectation for sameness, or maybe just former glory.

Perhaps what will prove this record's greatness is its apparent elusive nature (as seen in this, and many other reviews that can't get seem to mine the heart of Mama, I'm Swollen) which could make it a mainstay of intrigue in the indie-scene. Of course, this could also be swept under the rug with frustrating Cursive albums like Such Blinding Stars. Only time will tell.

At the same time, when you give a record a score, you should explain it. If you are going to write something creative (which this was), there should be more direction because inevitably people will get confused by your marking. Mix humour AND content, but favouring the former will simply make readers confused about your opinions.

[Sic Transit Zeb]

would of rather had an actual review

[mycuban]

Cursive is my favorite band, they put out my favorite record (The Ugly Organ), and i loved Happy Hollow, when i heard this new one at first i was so bummed, in fact "so bummed" is an understatement. The record just didn't have those exploding blasts of discord that had been featured on so many of songs on previous records. After listening to the record more, i understand what they were going for. This record is a grower, it has and still is growing on me, i don't find it nearly as disappointing i first thought. Right now i'd give it a B-.

[Toner]

I was quite interested in how a joint review would pan out but a play consisting of jokes sandwiched between rhetorical questions and pointless comments regarding the album does not constitute a review.

I usually enjoy both your writing but this really fell flat...

[ArTkY_]

Funny review, but I don''t care for this album or Happy Hollow before it.

[Sic Transit Zeb]

This isn't a good review. Because well, you're not really reviewing anything. Merely talking to each other about things that aren't normally funny in pg-13 buddy comedies and definitely not funny when read in script form here. "friend who smells like cheetos" "captain morgan" "milk shakes". Great. Now, can we get a review of the record. That would be nice.
exactly.

[Rob Hrx]

Sorry guys. I'm sure that was fun to write, but I just didn't feel like I got a good sense of the album and its pros and cons. The format could work, in fact it could be awesome, but I think way more dialogue about the album is needed.

[showyourteeth]

Sorry guys. I'm sure that was fun to write, but I just didn't feel like I got a good sense of the album and its pros and cons. The format could work, in fact it could be awesome, but I think way more dialogue about the album is needed.
exactly what i was gonna say

[sparkle7]

Although this was hilarious I would have liked a real review in conjunction with this one. But then again I can always look it up on allmusic for a more serious, albeit run of the mill review, then come back here and appreciate how much this made me laugh.

[SlappedActor]

There's a reason Pitchfork quit reviewing stuff this way.

[sdisticsquirrel]

i really really like this album. it's actually a lot better than i thought it was going to be. for some reason, my expectations were a little low

[zubinmoosa]

I think this kind of joke review should be saved for a joke album. The Killers? Yes. Cursive? No.

[GHomesIsTheIdea]

awful review

[GHomesIsTheIdea]

you guys can't write

[Laburnum]

so does that review mean the albums good or bad I totally don't get it, judging from what others have said in this thread I think I may give it a miss though

[weworemasks]

you guys can't write
actually, they are both great writers (probably among the best on the site), but i'm not sure what the fuck this is.

--

why would you do this to a cursive album? of all bands...i don't get it. it was hardly informative and wasn't that funny. and i loved that day and age review. i'm all for different, but this is 90% nonsensical.

[Blake Solomon]

i think there's quite a bit of "analysis" in here. probably lots of skimming going on.

[salmarnirecho]

i actually really enjoyed this review.

[blinkme]

awesome!

[philthy58]

This review is patently ridiculous, annoying, frustrating to read, etc. Please don't ever do that again. I just wasted a couple minutes I'll never get back.

[Mens]

Sorry but that was a real stupid analysis of an album. Kinda nullifies their art a bit.

[Mochem]

Better than the Killers review.

[Ryzenfall]

I need to thank Cursive. Not for making a record, but for making this review possible.

[perceptrons]

I feel the same about this album as Happy Hollow.

Disappointed.

[I am Mick]

Yeah, not stoked on this review at all...I actually wanted to know about the record before I bought it, and this did nothing to tell me

[Broclee]

Seriously, people, there's a lot in there. Actually read what's being said, there's quite a bit of discussion about musicality and lyrical content in there, both criticism and praise. It's not in-your-face, but it's still there.

[trash zoo]

after reading the lyric sheet, I have a heck of a lot more appreciation for the album; just listening to it, I didn't totally comprehend that it was a long narrative, similar to the others

did anyone notice that the background of the cover art is a map of the world and that the bloody condom-looking sun sits over northeast China/Russia?

[Toner]

i think there's quite a bit of "analysis" in here. probably lots of skimming going on.
It's because no one wants to resort to deciphering a screenful of shit jokes and indirect comments about the album to figure out what you think of it.

[FUCKDIRTYWIPES]

good album, dumb review.

[DI Pistola]

Hmm... This scene not doing it for me. Can we get a re-take? One more time with feeling, yeah?

[Julia Conny]

Haha, nicely done guys.

[newfoundmichael]

This isn't a good review. Because well, you're not really reviewing anything. Merely talking to each other about things that aren't normally funny in pg-13 buddy comedies and definitely not funny when read in script form here. "friend who smells like cheetos" "captain morgan" "milk shakes". Great. Now, can we get a review of the record. That would be nice.
Kinda how I felt, but I understand their reasoning for this as well. Just changing things up a bit for once.

[Uwe Blab]

This isn't a good review. Because well, you're not really reviewing anything. Merely talking to each other about things that aren't normally funny in pg-13 buddy comedies and definitely not funny when read in script form here. "friend who smells like cheetos" "captain morgan" "milk shakes". Great. Now, can we get a review of the record. That would be nice.
How about you listen to the album, judge it for yourself, and write a review that is acceptable by your standards instead of bitching about the review they wrote?

[fluke182]

While my general sentiments mirror what you say, the presentation of this review didn't do anything for me. It's laid out in a facetious manner that takes away from any solid points that are made. Just a bad, bad review.

This is a decent album, with a few high notes (particularly "What Have I Done?" and "From the Hips") that make the rest of the album all the more disappointing. The biggest problem with the album is the fact that a lot of it just isn't that listenable. Kasher needs to rediscover his pop voice.

[Gumbyjag]

:appl:

[Cue the Sun]

hahaha we need more reviews written like this.

[FaceLixeMurder]

I am enjoying this album but def no Ugly Organ.....sigh.....

[hockeyguitar99]

If people actually read the review, they would find good solid analysis and opinion. Too bad people will just look at it and complain.

[racecar]

How about you listen to the album, judge it for yourself, and write a review that is acceptable by your standards instead of bitching about the review they wrote?
Not bitching. sharing an opinion that doesn't reflect how you feel.

[wroteurname]

I think I really learned a lot from this review. Kinda like the profesors who think that students get more of class when it's discussion based rather than lecture, ya know? Well done guys...still holding out till the release of this one though.

[saysmydoctor]

Blake consistently stirs the pot on this website with his reviews because you the readers react. That shit generates views and creates discussion and that's what Blake is incredibly good at with his reviews.

He also, and where everyone fails to give him credit, is pretty analytical concerning the albums he reviews and this tag team with Travis is no exception. If you are actually read the review before jumping to a conclusion, you would know full well he was very intimate about describing the album. This is probably the most real review ever written on this site. This read like a Chuck Klosterman article. I loved it, you guys.

[Sic Transit Zeb]

Blake consistently stirs the pot on this website with his reviews because you the readers react. That shit generates views and creates discussion and that's what Blake is incredibly good at with his reviews.

He also, and where everyone fails to give him credit, is pretty analytical concerning the albums he reviews and this tag team with Travis is no exception. If you are actually read the review before jumping to a conclusion, you would know full well he was very intimate about describing the album. This is probably the most real review ever written on this site. This read like a Chuck Klosterman article. I loved it, you guys.
I did read it, a couple times, and I didn't see all this serious description.

[panicbxmb]

funny review, but i feel like an album this good deserves an actual review.

shit, the last two tracks alone are some of their best songs ever. i would pay for those two songs on their own!

[Clark]

i think there's quite a bit of "analysis" in here. probably lots of skimming going on.
Definitely. Great review. Very digestible yet in depth.

[TheBaroness]

amusing, but I'd also like to see a more thorough review on this site.

[unnameworthy]

I loved this format, and I'm glad you still managed to convey a lot about the album.

[atticusfinch]

nice creative spin on a review.

i love this album.

[tommy's ghost]

I adore this album. Might be my favorite of the year so far.

This was an... interesting review.

[emkvetwin]

really good and original review, and everyone who lacks reading comprehension skills needs to stop complaining.

[The Apollo Kid]

really good and original review, and everyone who lacks reading comprehension skills needs to stop complaining.
See, comments like this really are naive. Generalising peoples negative opinions about the review being down to poor "reading comprehension" is utter horseshit. People have solid reasons for not digging the layout of the review and we are all free to complain.

[singyoutocoma]

You guys are awesome writers, and this was quite enjoyable. Good work.

[I'm DC]

What the fuck kind of review is this? From one listen to the record its no where near as enjoying as their previous releases. That is also what I thought of their last record, so I'll just let this set and check it out again in a few months.

[Chris Fallon]

I love the both of you so much -- I wish I was half as brilliant and witty in my reviews. This album is only "meh" with me. Haven't found much I love about it yet.

[thehereaway]

Interesting review, the album is a bit weak imo. Caveman is a great song though.

[Charles777]

Awesome review

[JoshMurano]

Not a fan of reviews that don't actually do what you are expecting and review an album.

[Klatzke]

This was probably a good idea on paper but.. It really didn't work in my opinion. Just seems kind of scattered and really isn't informative I guess.

[lesto17]

Interesting review, but totally off base. Great record.

[emkvetwin]

See, comments like this really are naive. Generalising peoples negative opinions about the review being down to poor "reading comprehension" is utter horseshit. People have solid reasons for not digging the layout of the review and we are all free to complain.
it's not those people i'm complaining about, it's the ones who think Blake hates the album because it's a non-traditional review. i don't have a problem with people who are annoyed by the structure, but some others gave up before reading and didn't TRY to find any merit or substance in the review. and that's just dumb.

[Broclee]

Interesting review, but totally off base. Great record.
He praised the record pretty heavily, and gave it a pretty high score. How was he off-base from your opinion that it's a great record?

[airik625]

This record is growing one me as much as I had hoped.

Caveman is a great song.

[stonecoldfox]

fuck everyone else, I loved this review!

[I Shot Chicago]

i usually dig these reviews, but this one wasn't my cup of tea.
personally, i love this record. cursive just continues to impress me.