PDA

View Full Version : b.


Mitch
03/10/09, 11:15 AM
As they fell from your head I caught your thoughts and I threw them inside
An always open box that I keep locked up so tight,
Dancing flames and the way that they flicker, orange and yellow step upon the ashes
Of your withered, golden ribbons that lay like sentiment to chaste
My only source of light when all I find is night

‘I can’t be the eighth color, can I?’
I pointed to the rainbow and I cried ‘yes’ but you went on
‘I’d slide right off to drown in the rain,
Because for all the beauty there must be pain’

Underneath the floorboards I keep all that must be kept,
The only place I say ‘exist’
I nailed them down on a hopeless day
Now no part of me is left

Why do I see your shadow praying with your hands behind your back?
I’ll show you the tree that grows alone and then you’ll finally know
What it’s really like to be stuck in an evolving world that has so many places to go
You weren’t planted by seed, but it isn’t roots you lack
Rather your spirit that used to shine,
The one that missed the ditch and only walked the cracks

eliselovesmusic
03/11/09, 12:40 AM
Beautiful.

I can't find any fault in it really... Maybe I'm just too much of an optimist...

"I’d slide right off to drown in the rain," is possibly my favourite line

I'll 'analyse' it more when I can be bothered but for now it's pretty damn good stuff dude. May I ask who/what it's about?

Mitch
03/11/09, 07:35 AM
Thanks.

Don't worry people, my next poem will actually be good.

eliselovesmusic
03/11/09, 11:52 PM
Thanks.

Don't worry people, my next poem will actually be good.


Don't be so hard on yourself!! I'm not kidding this is good stuff :-)

Michifoxx
03/12/09, 06:39 AM
It really is good.
I enjoyed it.