I need your advice

[Katie Schmitz]

So it's been about a month since I broke up with my boyfriend ... he was really self-centered, rude, and basically everything he ever told me about himself was just to make himself look better. I dumped him after he left me after my surgery when I needed him most. That was the straw that broke the camel's back in my opinion.

But even though I wasn't treated as well as I think a person should be in a relationship; I keep having these feelings that I want him back. It was a horribly messy break up, he was so immature about it ... he even had his mother come and yell at me/call me names, etc. I KNOW deep within myself that things could never have gotten better, but why the hell do I have these feelings of wanting to keep giving him more chances and just continuing to hurt myself by allowing him to hurt me?

I just want to know how you guys think I should get him out of my mind, and out of my thoughts! We were together 2 years and so many things remind me of him, it's hard to forget him. What can I do to lessen these feelings and thoughts of him?

Thanks, any words of wisdom are much appreciated. :)

[reallygotta09]

what type of surgery?

[Katie Schmitz]

what type of surgery?

i had a cyst on each of my ovaries and for months I had been waiting for a surgery date. Over 7 months to be exact ... and when I was in pain after surgery I got irritated at him because he wasn't home to unlock the door. I got upset and eventually he said that he was being treated "rudely" and left me to go to his mother's. I just don't understand how he could justify that in his head to leave his g/f who needed him to take care of her. That's why I was so fed up and finally ended all the bullshit he had been putting me through.

[reallygotta09]

oh... so can.. you like make babies now?


anyways, guys are dopes, they don't become mature until about 85. You've got a while.
i dunoo like, their really dumb...they lead you on and make you think they care about you then they drop you for some other girl... ugh...

[Katie Schmitz]

oh... so can.. you like make babies now?


anyways, guys are dopes, they don't become mature until about 85. You've got a while.
i dunoo like, their really dumb...they lead you on and make you think they care about you then they drop you for some other girl... ugh...


:) Haha, I've always been able to make babies ... but I don't want any for a while :)

Relationships are one of the most complex things that a person can ever face. :shake:

[Kid Kilowatt]

Stop being weak, and your problem will be solved.

[Katie Schmitz]

Stop being weak, and your problem will be solved.


Yes, this is true.

[Goober Snacks]

We were together 2 years :)Theres your prob, long relationships take longer to get over. You sould find someone else to help get over him. Blah

[a speedo model]

i killed her and that seemed to work just fine. (joking)

but seriously after about a year and a half of hating her, myself, her family, my family, and her a little more i finally just grew out of it......................she still wants me though, it's funny.

[radiofriendly]

you can't expect to adjust quickly after he's been your life for the last two years. the awesome thing is thinking about the person you know your gonna meet that's gonna treat you so much better. he may not be somebody you'd get in a relationship with, but he makes you forget about why you miss someone who treated you so badly. after that, you've made the adjustment, and you've completed the transition.

my best friend was in a similar situation, only with the tables turned. she dated a guy for close to two years. it was never perfect, but they were really serious. towards the end of their relationship he got cancer, and spent several months at the hospital doing kemo. he treated her awful, and she got fed up. it took her a long time to adjust with hanging out doing stuff without thinking(you don't realize how big a part of your life it is, until you have to make changes). we started hanging out more, and it helped her a lot. she always said i helped her realize how trivial her relationship was, and how she never would've thought it got better. we never dated, or anything, but im sure the more you get to hanging out with new people, the more you'll realize there's nothing wrong with new changes. i know i've had relationships like those. i still think about those girls a lot, but i just enjoy the memories now. it's all about change and adjusting.

i killed her and that seemed to work just fine. (joking)
haha. "she doesn't bother me anymore...at the bottom of the lake!"

[Katie Schmitz]

you can't expect to adjust quickly after he's been your life for the last two years. the awesome thing is thinking about the person you know your gonna meet that's gonna treat you so much better. he may not be somebody you'd get in a relationship with, but he makes you forget about why you miss someone who treated you so badly. after that, you've made the adjustment, and you've completed the transition.

my best friend was in a similar situation, only with the tables turned. she dated a guy for close to two years. it was never perfect, but they were really serious. towards the end of their relationship he got cancer, and spent several months at the hospital doing kemo. he treated her awful, and she got fed up. it took her a long time to adjust with hanging out doing stuff without thinking(you don't realize how big a part of your life it is, until you have to make changes). we started hanging out more, and it helped her a lot. she always said i helped her realize how trivial her relationship was, and how she never would've thought it got better. we never dated, or anything, but im sure the more you get to hanging out with new people, the more you'll realize there's nothing wrong with new changes. i know i've had relationships like those. i still think about those girls a lot, but i just enjoy the memories now. it's all about change and adjusting.


haha. "she doesn't bother me anymore...at the bottom of the lake!"

Thanks a ton for that ... :)

[Stereo Mike]

Avoid that jerk off like your life depended on it.

[b e L I E v e]

Avoid that jerk off like your life depended on it.
Actaully, thats probably the best option here, not being sarcastic or anything...It's probably going to be extremely hard, but the sooner you forget him, is the sooner you'll be happier...

Oh, and thanks for the advice in your thread, the girl I am sort of going out with (its a long story, we're really close, but not necessarily boyfriend*girlfriend, but the closest you can get besides that) just had like three surgeries...and I've been with her through it, going over to her house almost every day, etc...I thought she may have thought of it as overdoing it, but since your thread confirmed girls like it when guys are with them for surgery..i think i did well

good luck,

[punkrockcasual]

Actaully, thats probably the best option here, not being sarcastic or anything...It's probably going to be extremely hard, but the sooner you forget him, is the sooner you'll be happier...

Oh, and thanks for the advice in your thread, the girl I am sort of going out with (its a long story, we're really close, but not necessarily boyfriend*girlfriend, but the closest you can get besides that) just had like three surgeries...and I've been with her through it, going over to her house almost every day, etc...I thought she may have thought of it as overdoing it, but since your thread confirmed girls like it when guys are with them for surgery..i think i did well

good luck,


Have you gotten it yet?

[b e L I E v e]

Have you gotten it yet?
What exactly are you asking?

[punkrockcasual]

What exactly are you asking?

Yes- it worked.

No- better luck next time.:thumbsup:

[Joanna187]

you can't expect to adjust quickly after he's been your life for the last two years. the awesome thing is thinking about the person you know your gonna meet that's gonna treat you so much better. he may not be somebody you'd get in a relationship with, but he makes you forget about why you miss someone who treated you so badly. after that, you've made the adjustment, and you've completed the transition.

my best friend was in a similar situation, only with the tables turned. she dated a guy for close to two years. it was never perfect, but they were really serious. towards the end of their relationship he got cancer, and spent several months at the hospital doing kemo. he treated her awful, and she got fed up. it took her a long time to adjust with hanging out doing stuff without thinking(you don't realize how big a part of your life it is, until you have to make changes). we started hanging out more, and it helped her a lot. she always said i helped her realize how trivial her relationship was, and how she never would've thought it got better. we never dated, or anything, but im sure the more you get to hanging out with new people, the more you'll realize there's nothing wrong with new changes. i know i've had relationships like those. i still think about those girls a lot, but i just enjoy the memories now. it's all about change and adjusting.


haha. "she doesn't bother me anymore...at the bottom of the lake!"that's probably the thing that works the best. it is for me right now because i'm in somewhat of a similar situation. hanging out with your friends and meeting new people is very effective. you just need to do things that will get your mind off of him instead of being at home by yourself and constantly thinking about him. i know it's really hard, but you do have to look foward to finding someone in the future who will treat you better since it seems like you can't make this guy change. and like radiofriendly said, when you do, this struggle you're feeling will ease off immensely. the past is what it is and it shouldn't take you over.

[Katie Schmitz]

thanks everyone for those words ... I'm very appreciative!

[Saves The Night]

So it's been about a month since I broke up with my boyfriend ... he was really self-centered, rude, and basically everything he ever told me about himself was just to make himself look better. I dumped him after he left me after my surgery when I needed him most. That was the straw that broke the camel's back in my opinion.

But even though I wasn't treated as well as I think a person should be in a relationship; I keep having these feelings that I want him back. It was a horribly messy break up, he was so immature about it ... he even had his mother come and yell at me/call me names, etc. I KNOW deep within myself that things could never have gotten better, but why the hell do I have these feelings of wanting to keep giving him more chances and just continuing to hurt myself by allowing him to hurt me?

I just want to know how you guys think I should get him out of my mind, and out of my thoughts! We were together 2 years and so many things remind me of him, it's hard to forget him. What can I do to lessen these feelings and thoughts of him?

Thanks, any words of wisdom are much appreciated. :)
wow get over him, i know its probably hard to do, but wow...total dick...besides he had a total hottie...and to be a dick wow unacceptable.

[FstFtsVsFences]

Awh Katie, I wish I could say or do somethin to help, but it kinda looks like everyone's beat me to that. Sooo I just hope that things work out for you. You're an awesome girl and deserve someone who will treat you better than he did.

[Nick Lopez]

I <3 Katie.

[Spicoli hey bud]

Time heals everything

[xearlynovemberx]

I <3 Katie.
me 2!!

man i really like this girl and she keeps me up all night i wish i had th eballs 2 ask her out

[brodudeman123]

To help get over anyone, just stay busy. Don't let yourself get bored because than you'll just think about him without even realizing it. Listen to music, make music, go out with friends, or do whatever you like to keep your mind occupied. Good luck!

[thedood]

To help get over anyone, just stay busy. Don't let yourself get bored because than you'll just think about him without even realizing it. Listen to music, make music, go out with friends, or do whatever you like to keep your mind occupied. Good luck!
Thats so true...me and my girfriend of four years just broke up...gotta keep busy, especially when she meets some older dude that you have seen around. And then you keep busy with her friends...kidding, just keep busy and dont give in to that urge to call and say whats up.

[infamous_alias]

By the way (not that it helps your situation any at all), the Jayhawks kicked the living shit out of Nebraska this weekend :D

[Skyline]

I got out of a 2 year realtionship and to be honest you can't move on by yourself.. you need to find someone new just to get over that person.. maybe just to flirt and make you realize people are interested and to have those NEW feelings all over again.

[Vanity__Dearest]

So it's been about a month since I broke up with my boyfriend ... he was really self-centered, rude, and basically everything he ever told me about himself was just to make himself look better. I dumped him after he left me after my surgery when I needed him most. That was the straw that broke the camel's back in my opinion.

But even though I wasn't treated as well as I think a person should be in a relationship; I keep having these feelings that I want him back. It was a horribly messy break up, he was so immature about it ... he even had his mother come and yell at me/call me names, etc. I KNOW deep within myself that things could never have gotten better, but why the hell do I have these feelings of wanting to keep giving him more chances and just continuing to hurt myself by allowing him to hurt me?

I just want to know how you guys think I should get him out of my mind, and out of my thoughts! We were together 2 years and so many things remind me of him, it's hard to forget him. What can I do to lessen these feelings and thoughts of him?

Thanks, any words of wisdom are much appreciated. :)i was with a girl for two years...the months in between relationships, especially in between a long one to the next...will often be the worst, cuz your mind tricks you to stick with what you already had. but your a sweet cute girl...it won't be hard for you to at least move on, and see who is right for you.

i'm doing fine with what i have now, i wouldn't choose to be in any different situation than i am right now. you will become content when you realize you are better without him.

[lostntheseethru]

Awh Katie, I wish I could say or do somethin to help, but it kinda looks like everyone's beat me to that. Sooo I just hope that things work out for you. You're an awesome girl and deserve someone who will treat you better than he did.
thats exactly what i was thinking...

im not one to be giving out relationship advice seeing as how i cant remember the last time i had a serious relationship...pathetic i know, but what can i do??? so ill just say you deserve better and hope you find better soon

[splitsecond]

Well I would say the way he treated you was extremely fucked up. My friend's ex had the same surgery, and I know painful it was for her.

But as far as what to do... I think the best thing to do to see if he really was the one you want to be with is to focus on other things for a while, like if you have goals you want to accomplish or things you want to experience, do them all. Have fun. And dont talk to this guy a lot. If in a few months or a year he still owns your heart, then try again. Maybe at that point he will have matured. I know for me personally this is what I have done for over a year now, and I have really enjoyed being single and having fun and not having to report to anyone. But I also have realized, or at least I think I have realized, that when i am done with school in a few short months I am going to try as hard as I can to get back with a very special girl. Of course, she will probably just become a whore and fuck things up, cause thats what girls do.