Perfectly Boring

[JustAHomeBoy]

I thought I swallowed my regrets whole
But the thought still lingers in my brain
A never ending pain, but am I to blame?
When a test of our love is the only way
Even if I broke my frame, things would be the same

And this building up will finally take it's toll
I drank it off, took a pill but it's still the same
This merciless pain, are we all to blame?
When you're my never reaching arrow's vane
Can you feel my rain, can it cause you pain?

And days and nights have said the same old stories
Of the days and nights where we'd think we're so boring
But I take that back because I love hearing your stories
Of another guy, and your perfect life
It makes me feel so perfectly boring

And you said it's okay, we'll be the same
Because this trust fund is never running out
My pain's a drought, can you feel the doubt?
But can our love be the same way again?
I can feel your shout, but you're just not loud
But it helps me from sleeping

And days and nights have said the same old stories
Of the days and nights where we would think we're so boring
But I take that back because I love hearing your stories
Of another guy, and your perfect life
It makes me feel so perfectly boring
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So another one I wrote. I think this one is much worse than the first one, but then again the first one wasn't very good to begin with. Anyway, my self-evaluations aside, any feedback would be appreciated.

[eliselovesmusic]

I love the last three lines of the repeated verse - Especially the line "It makes me feel so perfectly boring''. Good work dude :-) the repeated verses also set up a nice picture of what it's about too.

I have to say though, that up until the third stanza I was kind of confused as to what the point of the whole poem/song was, but then it good better and it ended up all making perfect sense.


Stop being so hard on yourself!! Although this is kinda wierd but the fact that you seem quite self-depricating makes me think that the only reason you write is because you love it - not because you're trying to show off your vocabulary or boost your own ego by hearing people say you're good at what you do.

So keep it up man, it's good stuff and I'll be looking out for more posts from you (hehehe yay for internet stalking)