Realize the silence

[NobodysSlave]

All the world's a stage
All the men and women are dead
This is a silent film.
Their mouths are still...
Their minds are still...
The morgues are busy...
These people's eyes are closed
These people's minds are closed
But these people aren't dead
Suddenly they come alive,
An evil puppetmaster controlling,
Rewinding their strings,
Remaking their fates,
But they dance without grace...
But they scream without sound...
And a girl awakens.
Her eyes are open, but he doesn't know...
She snaps her strings and looks around
He sees her and she screams,
She runs and he follows,
He laughs and she panics,
She screams and he kills her...
All because she came alive...
All because she realized...

[punkysmurf]

fuck yes, i really like this

[de la sympathie]

i'm not sure. seems a bit choppy to me; a bit unformed. maybe fix it up a bit, fit in some good sentence structure. otherwise, it's alright.

[punkpixie]

It's OK. Sometimes subtlety is fun though