I Never Met a Metaphor I Didn't Like.

[actionandaction]

This is my first time putting something up here. let me know what you think.

Late nights, when I miss you most.
Drunken smiles for when I give the toast.
To which I ask myself,
"When have we seen so much autumn sun?"
We can hold onto these warm summer feelings,
and parade around like, "The weather never gets this cold."
And if the season leaves early would you still fall in love with the winter of my mood?
My dreams are the dreams of a boy.
My love is a love that sparkles.
Yellow,
Red,
And orange
Raining in the green grass.

[a speedo model]

i liked it alot, real good job. it's a tad short, but still really good.

[de la sympathie]

i really liked that. short but schweet.

[punkysmurf]

I really really liked this...the only critique I suppose would be "fall in love with winter of my mood" Not sure I really get that...maybe you're missing a "the"? "...with *the* winter of my mood"? but otherwise really awesome. I'm glad you didn't pad this..every word counts here.

[actionandaction]

I really really liked this...the only critique I suppose would be "fall in love with winter of my mood" Not sure I really get that...maybe you're missing a "the"? "...with *the* winter of my mood"? but otherwise really awesome. I'm glad you didn't pad this..every word counts here.

yeah, i fixed that. thanks for pointing it out. and "pad" this? i'm lost. :(

[ArTkY_]

Short, sweet, and to the point.... in other words, it was good.

[preppyak]

yeah, i fixed that. thanks for pointing it out. and "pad" this? i'm lost. :(

I agree on the padding, its nice you didn't add 15 adjectives before each noun to convey each emotion, it gets overdone very often. I love poems that can accomplish their goal in less than 16 lines, likewise with books being less than 250 pages.

[Forsythe22]

That was pretty cool dude, keep it up. My only qualm is with the title. You coulda done better than that, come on now.