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Sex and Glue
11/12/05, 10:32 PM
Yes. The title is also a title to a Braid song; Though the reasoning behind it is because of what the lyrics in the song actually mean... If that makes any sense. And i know it's long; I sincerely apologize. Feedback is greatly appreciated. <3



Takeoffs and landings. Here's everything i've always meant to say; The night we found ourselves down by the river that summer evening, sitting on a park bench and looking out past the river, talking about our favorite things, and all that we disliked, i knew i wanted to fall in love with you. I remember whispering in your ear, "I've always wanted to come to the river with a girl, and just cuddle and look at the stars together; And you have no idea how happy i am that girl is you." We kissed, and everything felt so right, so perfect. From that day on, we spent every night together. You would come over, and we would just lay in my bed and talk about anything. Then, after a month of spending every night and every day together, we didn't see one another some Monday. And so we snuck out on a school night, just so we could see each other. We walked from our houses to meet halfway. Past midnight. So close to getting hit by cars; But it was all worth it. The day you went to Purdue and stayed with Danny, i remember how worried i was. I didn't fall asleep that night until 6:15 in the morning, and all because i was awake, thinking about you. The next night when you got back, we watched "Roman Holiday" cuddled ontop one another with kisses in between. That same night i gave you a mixtape that had all the songs on it that reminded me of you. When you took me home, and we were parked outside my house, i told you that i thought i loved you. Silence. You would always tell me how you never believed in high school love. And there are so many more "in betweens" i didn't write about, and only because i have no way of explaining them on paper. You simply were and still are everything i have ever wanted in a girl. And each night i would go outside for a smoke, i would look up at the stars and pick out the brighest one to wish upon, that you and i would stay together for the longest time. It's nights like these when all i can think about are the times we would drive around and park out infront of some random house and make out until i had to be home. Or the day we bought hair dye and dyed each other's hair in your bathroom. First kisses with new color. Or the night we drove for over an hour, looking for a place it might be raining, so we could be each other's "first kiss in the rain." How perfect. The way i would light your cigarette for you while you were driving. And when we couldn't find it to be raining anywhere in town, you took me to your parent's boat where we made out ontop the sheets and just laid there with our bodies entwined, talking about how perfectly our hands fit together. Not a single word spoken; that's what i loved so much about you. We could just lay there for hours in complete silence, and it would feel as though we did so much more. All the times you would rest your head on my chest and tell me how fast you could hear my heart beating. "You are my favorite person on the face of the planet. That may be hard to hear. But when i slip past the sun rising and just through the shades the way your face looks is how forever feels. And i want to sleep on portraits painted as perfect as you." You were the best thing that has ever happened to me, and yet i can't be with you. I cried for an hour and a half. Lying broken on my bedroom floor while Lydia played in the background. All i kept thinking about was how i would never be able to ever kiss your lips again, or how i would never be able to ever hold your hand again. What you and i had was something so special, that before we met, it was all i ever dreamt about. It's only been two days since we've broken up, and still i feel miserable. I don't know any other way to help and decribe to anyone the way i feel. We were suppose to last for so long; longer than any relationship either of us have had. And every time i see you at school, or driving down the road, all i can think about is how badly i wish i could be there by your side. Now it seems like every place i go, there's a memory of you. I lay in my bed at night, and all i can think about was lying next to you, ontop the same sheets. Kissing your neck and running my fingers through the back of your hair. We'll never have night's like those again. Driving back from your parent's boat that one night, you made me find a piece of paper and write down all the movie's we were to watch together. Closer. Roman Holiday. The Notebook. Rushmore. So many more to name. I still have all the notes you wrote me, and all the tickets to everything we went to. You always came to all my shows, and at every show, i would dedicate a song to you. Telling everyone how much of an amazing person you were, and how you were the most beautiful girl i had ever met in my entire life. How no other girl had ever made me feel the way you did. "Do you miss looking up from the floor at my face on a stage in a crowded room? Well it's not the same. I bet you're still a sucker for those famous faces. Downtown, looking down, down, looking over the crowd, I hope you're out there, look at me now. Well it's not the same. Just look at how we've changed." Late nights have never been the same. I miss you the most on Friday's and Saturday's, when we would always be together. I distinctly remember your words that Monday afternoon when you told me how you kissed another guy at some party. And at the time, all of what you said went straight through me. Now all i can ever think about are your lips being pressed against his. And not mine. I tried so hard to give you everything, but i guess it was never enough. I close my eyes, and all i see is you with someone else. Sleep is impossible. I'll never forget the way you would stare into my eyes after we'd kiss. An entire lifetime. And now it's as though i am nothing to you. Invisible."Let's go undercover like young lovers should. Cause i can kiss you better than this letter could." I'll never be able to find anyone more perfect than you///<3

punkysmurf
11/14/05, 06:01 PM
I tried so hard not to like this, because it is so fucking high school it scares the shit out of me. But honest tales of first loves and first heartbreaks are impossible for me to get sucked up in. Here's the things that were right: the simple prose, the images of songs and movies, good descriptions of intimate moments. These things were hard to resist. This piece could of been much better though. First of all, the title should be First Kisses With New Color, that is a fucking great line and I think would be a better title than stealing one from a song not everyone has heard. But most importantly, make the break up more dramatic! I had to go reread to see if I missed something, because all of a sudden you were talking about her being gone and didn't know what happened. Mention her cheating earlier, or just how you guys broke up. Also, the first section was so honest but the last part was sugarcoated. Sure you miss her and she's the best person in the world, but you I know you were angry when you broke up. I know that for a couple days you fucking hated her. Put that stuff in there, it would really help the authenticity of the piece. I know this is a nostalgic wistful look at the events, but some of the hyperbole is just over the top. The brightest start thing kinda made me cringe. But otherwise, very good. And for the record, The Academy rocks and this piece actually made me appreciate that song even more. So props. Again, as an English major I shouldn't have liked this, but the emotion was there. And I'm a sucker for that shit. EDIT: NO FUCKING <3 AT THE END!!! AHHH!!! It almost ruins the whole thing. Hell just end it with the quote, the last sentance is terrible and not needed.

Sex and Glue
11/14/05, 07:02 PM
Thank you very much for the comments. It is a very long piece and i'm suprised you actually read it all. Everything you said is completely understandable and i'm about to go fix the corrections right now. Thank you for also making note of my usage of the song lyrics / poetry from various artists. And sorry the last sentence ruined the whole thing... I was honestly considering just ending the whole thing with a quote, but thought it would leave the piece almost incomplete... But after reading your reasoning, i think that just ending with the quote is more appropriate. Once again, thanks a lot for the feedback. :bigsmile: