No title yet (best lyrics ive ever wrote)

[vaters]

So heres my latest and greatest, seriously best ive ever done
so rate comment, etc.. :)

I walk my way alone
Through the years I’ve grown
Everyone around me
Yet I’m still alone
‘Cause they got something I don’t

I take the same path everyday
The spring I walk the sidewalks
Even when it pours
The summer I walk the shore
With no one to adore

They have someone to walk with
And I still have no one
Maybe I could run
Maybe I should take a different route
But I’m still the odd one out

No one ever sees
The pain inside of me
No one ever knows
About this life I with hold

The years fade
While the seasons pass
The continuous walk goes on
Another year gone
Another picture drawn

They have someone to walk with
And I still have no one
Maybe I could run
Maybe I should take a different route
But I’m still the odd one out

Maybe I should slow down
And take the minutes as they come
Stay in this small town
And see what I could become

Nothing to escape from
Just waiting for the time to come
When I won’t be alone
No longer on my own

[vaters]

I have a title now its called "Lonely Years"

[vaters]

anyone going to say anything ??

[fishingthe_sky]

I'm sorry, but there's just not a whole lot going on here that's all that interesting. Nothing jumps out and grabs your attention, because everything here's been pretty much said before in much the same way you're saying it. I also don't understand your shifts between 5 and 4 line stanzas/verses. They seem random :shrug:

[newtothis]

I'm sorry, but there's just not a whole lot going on here that's all that interesting. Nothing jumps out and grabs your attention, because everything here's been pretty much said before in much the same way you're saying it. I also don't understand your shifts between 5 and 4 line stanzas/verses. They seem random :shrug:

I agree. Everything here resembles something I've heard before. Nothing really stands out or makes a lasting impression. My favorite part, I think, is the second to last stanza. It presents a sort of new idea and seems less whiny than the other verses. Although, it could use work. Like fishingthe_sky said, you need to find a way to make this grab the audience's attention. Find a NEW way to express these ideas. Also the other stanzas seemed a little repetitive.

[chickmgnt478]

ya i really like the last 2 sections. the rest as they said not bad just doesnt make me jump out. rhyming is cool but sometimes you can almost predict what the next line is gonna be and thats how it kind of felt to me. but its a song none the less so keep it up

[cyncoolkid]

Cliche...D: