Restlessness

[MCSmate]

A mystery
The fog covering a city
Turbulent winds

A rushing current
The cold front coming in
Rough skies

Violent times
Unsure,
Uneasy

[fishingthe_sky]

I don't really know how I feel about the first line. It's too obvious, too much is given with it. There's much more mystery in this without the mystery actually being there. I also feel like rough skies is a bit too general to be truly affective in the way this piece needs it to be. The last three lines also may be a bit too general and obvious. With such a short piece, you really want to pinpoint your meaning and yoke the language into conveying the strongest thing possible. Violent times doesn't project really anything like it needs to.

I like what you're going for, it's just a matter of getting there.